The world is spinning.
I'm in a cell. I have been for three days. Three days since I've had it. The monkshood. I need it. And I feel it now more than ever.
He's standing there. Has been for three days. Staring. Unspeaking. Unblinking. Hasn't said a goddamn thing. And it's pissing me off.
"What do you want with me?" I'm speaking. I know he wont.
"What does any man want with a hostile animal?" Animal? He knows.
"To kill it." he says.
"Just fucking try it."
"Oh I will. I'll have my go at you eventually. But right now I need you. Or parts of you anyway."
"Which parts?"
"Any parts that can be slain with silver bullets." He really knows.
"You watch too many monster movies." I tell him.
"Enjoy your stay miss Fitzgerald." He leaves. How did he know that? My name, the wolf, all of it. How? The only other two people who ever really knew are dead.
This cell. It's solid steel. It's not a cell. It's a cage. Funny. If your into irony. I'm trapped with the thing I'm trying to get away from.
I grab the bars and scream. I wait. Five minutes and he still hasn't come. He knows. And that scares me more than anything .
I crawl into a corner and hold my self.
What the fuck am I going to do?
Five days. Five days since he took me. I'm starving myself. It's the only way to discreetly kill myself before the wolf comes out. The only way to die with out him noticing.
At night I don't dare sleep. He knows I wont let him touch me while I'm still awake. And I'm afraid of what he wants.
What would any man want?
The words we spoke still hang in my mind. Disturbingly so.
He comes in and I look away. He reminds me of one of those old fox hunters. He has on torn green clothes and a hat. I don't know how to describe that damn hat. He mocks me. Sitting there. Sharpening his knife, a little dagger he carries with him every time he comes in.
"So," He speaks first. He must want something. "How are we feeling?"
"I'm stuck in a fucking cage with out my stuff how do think I feel? I feel like shit. I havent washed in five days."
"Ten."
"Ten days?"
"You were unconscious for a week. You hit your head on the roof of that car when I pulled you out."
"That's impossible. I would have died of starvation by now."
"When you were asleep I fed you and gave you the drugs."
"I haven't slept since I got here."
"You don't remember falling asleep, that's why your so tired. You haven't actually slept, only passed out from exhaustion."
It explains a lot. Why it isn't coming out in me. Why I'm not hungry. But no. Not possible. You can't feed some one when their asleep.
"How'd you feed me then?"
"A tube. In your throat"
I reach for my neck. A tiny hole still dry blood around it. The tiniest hole. Barely noticeable, right in my collar bone. That bastard.
"Your not a very good bad guy."
"How's that.?" I have his attention. He's interested.
"You told me everything you did and will do. How you did it. How to avoid it."
"Oh, not everything. The last piece of the puzzle, the one I know your trying to jam into place, I will not reveal. It's useless information I've given you miss Fitzgerald. Not my plans. Don't sit there thinking you've got me all figured out. You haven't. And you wont. Because I'm not telling you a goddamn thing, got that? You can't trick me girl. Don't try." He leaves again.
Useless information
So why am I here? Why me? There's got to be a thousand more werewolves like me in the world. Fighting it off. Or urging it on.
Used to be I couldn't wait for death. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to die. Now all I want is to survive. To exist. I don't want life. I just want subsistence.
I will die here.
God only knows what he's got planned for me. Let it be painless. Let me not suffer my death.
I'm going crazy. I know it. I'm talking to a god I don't even believe in.
Sanctuary
Two months. He' s given me food, water, but otherwise ignored me. Between visit's he erases from my mind. Drop's off the face of the earth. If only.
He provides monkshood once every three days. I take it and he leaves. As always.
I don't understand. He says he needs the wolf. But then he gives me the cure, or repellent, for it. What does he want? Who is he? What is his name? How does he know about werewolves? How does he know about me?
He finally speaks. He says their here for me. Who are they?
A group of Parisian people, neo modern pagans or something like that. From france, for me. They're going to take me to Paris in a van in a cage for a month.
I still don't understand. I don't understand anything. But I don't care. Let them take me. Let them burn me. And eat my ashes.
Fuck them. Let them take what they want. I quit.
(End Chapter)
I'm in a cell. I have been for three days. Three days since I've had it. The monkshood. I need it. And I feel it now more than ever.
He's standing there. Has been for three days. Staring. Unspeaking. Unblinking. Hasn't said a goddamn thing. And it's pissing me off.
"What do you want with me?" I'm speaking. I know he wont.
"What does any man want with a hostile animal?" Animal? He knows.
"To kill it." he says.
"Just fucking try it."
"Oh I will. I'll have my go at you eventually. But right now I need you. Or parts of you anyway."
"Which parts?"
"Any parts that can be slain with silver bullets." He really knows.
"You watch too many monster movies." I tell him.
"Enjoy your stay miss Fitzgerald." He leaves. How did he know that? My name, the wolf, all of it. How? The only other two people who ever really knew are dead.
This cell. It's solid steel. It's not a cell. It's a cage. Funny. If your into irony. I'm trapped with the thing I'm trying to get away from.
I grab the bars and scream. I wait. Five minutes and he still hasn't come. He knows. And that scares me more than anything .
I crawl into a corner and hold my self.
What the fuck am I going to do?
Five days. Five days since he took me. I'm starving myself. It's the only way to discreetly kill myself before the wolf comes out. The only way to die with out him noticing.
At night I don't dare sleep. He knows I wont let him touch me while I'm still awake. And I'm afraid of what he wants.
What would any man want?
The words we spoke still hang in my mind. Disturbingly so.
He comes in and I look away. He reminds me of one of those old fox hunters. He has on torn green clothes and a hat. I don't know how to describe that damn hat. He mocks me. Sitting there. Sharpening his knife, a little dagger he carries with him every time he comes in.
"So," He speaks first. He must want something. "How are we feeling?"
"I'm stuck in a fucking cage with out my stuff how do think I feel? I feel like shit. I havent washed in five days."
"Ten."
"Ten days?"
"You were unconscious for a week. You hit your head on the roof of that car when I pulled you out."
"That's impossible. I would have died of starvation by now."
"When you were asleep I fed you and gave you the drugs."
"I haven't slept since I got here."
"You don't remember falling asleep, that's why your so tired. You haven't actually slept, only passed out from exhaustion."
It explains a lot. Why it isn't coming out in me. Why I'm not hungry. But no. Not possible. You can't feed some one when their asleep.
"How'd you feed me then?"
"A tube. In your throat"
I reach for my neck. A tiny hole still dry blood around it. The tiniest hole. Barely noticeable, right in my collar bone. That bastard.
"Your not a very good bad guy."
"How's that.?" I have his attention. He's interested.
"You told me everything you did and will do. How you did it. How to avoid it."
"Oh, not everything. The last piece of the puzzle, the one I know your trying to jam into place, I will not reveal. It's useless information I've given you miss Fitzgerald. Not my plans. Don't sit there thinking you've got me all figured out. You haven't. And you wont. Because I'm not telling you a goddamn thing, got that? You can't trick me girl. Don't try." He leaves again.
Useless information
So why am I here? Why me? There's got to be a thousand more werewolves like me in the world. Fighting it off. Or urging it on.
Used to be I couldn't wait for death. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to die. Now all I want is to survive. To exist. I don't want life. I just want subsistence.
I will die here.
God only knows what he's got planned for me. Let it be painless. Let me not suffer my death.
I'm going crazy. I know it. I'm talking to a god I don't even believe in.
Sanctuary
Two months. He' s given me food, water, but otherwise ignored me. Between visit's he erases from my mind. Drop's off the face of the earth. If only.
He provides monkshood once every three days. I take it and he leaves. As always.
I don't understand. He says he needs the wolf. But then he gives me the cure, or repellent, for it. What does he want? Who is he? What is his name? How does he know about werewolves? How does he know about me?
He finally speaks. He says their here for me. Who are they?
A group of Parisian people, neo modern pagans or something like that. From france, for me. They're going to take me to Paris in a van in a cage for a month.
I still don't understand. I don't understand anything. But I don't care. Let them take me. Let them burn me. And eat my ashes.
Fuck them. Let them take what they want. I quit.
(End Chapter)