DiScLaImEr – Anyone wanna buy it for me?? I wouldn't mind, really~!
Characters' thinking done in BOLD~! Enjoy ^^*
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~*~ Lest I Forget ~*~
Chapter 2 ~ And if I forget?
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When he was young, he had once been told that he was lucky—his curse was the most powerful out of the twelve…he had the ability to wipe away other's memories as he pleased. So once he understood the world better, won't he see that it really wasn't so much a curse as it is a gift?
Well…he's seen the world at its best and its worse, although more of the latter—and it was still a curse.
The only difference now is that it is much worse of a curse than it ever was.
Than it ever will be.
He had once erased her memories…memories of the one who had first brought sunshine into his life, who had been the first to show him that he didn't have to live his life everyday by sufferings and hurt because of his curse. She had been his spring, his happiness…his one and only love…and he had erased her memories.
And now…and now he had to erase her memories as well… Hatori closed his eyes in pain and defeat—gestures that was so unlike his personality—and mentally wished with all his heart that this was not happening…not again…not to her. The only difference this time around was that she had not only brought sunshine back into his life, so that he could catch a glimpse of its warmth again, but also into the lives of others in the zodiac who were fortunately enough to meet her…to love her.
She was the one who taught them—the younger and older Jyuunishi—that maybe…just maybe…life still held a meaning for all of them…that they weren't meant to live cowering all their lives because they were made worthless by the curse and by Akito. She was the one who always wore a smile on her face and was cheerful even through the toughest situations, teaching them that they could always hope for a better day tomorrow.
Opening his eyes, Hatori felt a single tear escape from his good eye, expressing the pain he felt but could not speak of. She looked up at him bravely, eyes glittering with unshed tears, face reddened from her earlier crying and lip trembling as she gave herself up to pay the utmost sacrifice for their sakes.
"Hatori-san…go ahead." she said a bit shakily, voice small and almost inaudible if not for the complete silence which had settled over the room. "Please…don't feel responsible for this. I just…I just want to make everything all right for everyone again. When I think of that, I'm just grateful that I can do something to help…and I don't regret it—not now, not ever. No price is too great to pay, if it means I could be of help to you, and everyone else."
The girl closed her eyes, smiling a little sadly with shaky lips as tears once again began to fall silently on their own accord.
"I'm just glad…glad to have met all of you. Arigatou gozaimasu." I know that, in my heart, I will never forget any of you…you're all far too important to me for me to ever forget. I just wish that I could have told you—all of you—just how special each of you are to me…and have the chance to say one last good-bye. But now…all I can do is pray with my whole heart that you will all be okay, and be able to continue live smiling as happily as I know all of you can.
Okaa-san…won't you look over them for me? I'll miss them so…
As an image of a smiling Yuki, Shigure, Kyou, Hatori, Ayame, Hatsuharu and Kisa at the Sohma lake house flashed across her memories, a blaze of light emitted from Hatori's hand before her eyes, and the last thing she felt was the wetness of Hatori's hand as he erased her memories…
And a gentle darkness overtook her.
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Sneering from his standing position behind the usually inexpressive man, Sohma Akito was quite utterly satisfied, to say the very least.
Didn't I tell you that there are none who could escape me? That there are none who could disobey me and get away with it?
Looking down at his personal doctor, who had been sitting prone before the unconscious girl since he had been forced into erasing her memories, Akito was surprised to see that the stoic man was silently crying.
"My my Hatori…this is all just so very touching, isn't it?" he said, standing over the motionless man, sarcasm dripping heavily in his voice. "The poor little twit! The innocent and stupid little lamp, presenting herself before the alter as a sacrifice."
Still smirking in having finally regained his superior control over his clan, Akito was unpleasantly stunned when the usually calm and obedient Hatori suddenly stood up and looked down at him from his higher position, face close to his own and glaring.
"Don't ever talk about her like that." the unnaturally angered man hissed at him in a low growl—a manner true to his fierce dragon spirit.
With that, Hatori spun around, picked the broken girl up in a way extremely contradictory to his tone, and stalked out the door, leaving a shocked and somewhat frightened looking Akito standing in the middle of the room by himself.
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"Haru-niichan…?"
"Eh Kisa? What's wrong?" Sohma Hatsuharu asked the girl imprisoned in the room next to his quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear them and report it to the family head, knowing that Akito would just further punish his younger cousin for attempting to talk to someone else. Wincing, the seventeen-year-old ox crawled to lean on the wall which separated them, body stiff and still in pain from the harsh 'lessons' he had been receiving from Akito.
It's not like we can do anything about it, either. He thought tiredly. We can't fight back, because he's the family head—and because he'd just take it out on the others here who wouldn't be able to do anything to him…who would be helpless against him. God! Sometimes I wish I could just beat the shit out of him and have it over with!
Feeling his Black personality coming on, Sohma Hatsuharu rubbed his eyes and sighed, not wanting to further upset 'little Kisa' by being upset himself.
As hard as it is on me, it must be harder for her still. She's still so little…she shouldn't have to suffer like this with the rest of us…shit! We should've seen this coming! We should have been able to protect her…her, Momiji, and even Hiro…and…
And Rin…
For a moment, the ox froze, lost in thoughts concerning the girl whom he cared so much for…yet whom does not realize his feelings for her.
Well…she either doesn't understand just how I feel about her…or she just doesn't care… But either way…where the hell is Akito keeping her? What has he done to her? Wherever you are Rin…I hope he's treating you well… I'm sorry…that I can't be there to protect you this time either…
"Onii-chan?" Kisa asked across the wall in a concerned soft voice, startling the boy out of his thoughts.
"Oi Kisa?" he asked her just as softly.
"What…what do you think is going to happen to us?"
That's a very good question. The black-and-white haired boy thought wryly. Now how could he answer that question without destroying all forms of hope for her? Hatsuharu decided to go with the truth.
"I dunno Kisa…I just don't know."
The only reply he received was a very much audible sigh coming from the other side of the wall, followed by a head slumping against it. Hatsuharu could only settle himself by the wall for the night as the two took some comfort in keeping each other company in a forcedly silent manner.
On the other side of the wall, Kisa blinked back tears as she cradled her sore and wounded arm, hurt when she had tried to protect herself against the much stronger and angered Akito that same morning. Pale moonlight spilled gently into the room, illuminating the glistening tears on her cheeks. Looking up at the silent moon through the only window in that rather tiny room, the fifteen-year-old girl could not help but wonder if this was to be her home forever.
Although, Kisa smiled ironically up at the moon as even more tears made their way down her cheeks, it really isn't much of a home, is it?
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There are still those who thought him to be lucky—if he were to ever encounter unpleasant incidents in his lifetime, even after twenty-six years in it, all he had to do was erase them from himself…and from those who were involved in it. He could change everything around him in order to achieve for himself the perfect life, be the perfect human being…after all, if you could just erase your mistakes everytime you make them, couldn't you live your life perfectly, and have more than just one 'second chance'?
But these are those who did not take in account that life was more than just erasing your mistakes and correcting them, over and over again.
These people are those who did not take in account that humans had emotions and feelings…feelings which could change everything—and he is, cursed or not, still a human being.
Looking over at the girl currently in a dreamless hypnotic sleep on his clinic bed, Hatori's heart felt saddened all over again. Sighing, he looked out the large window in his relatively small clinic, where the skies were clear and blue in the middle of a warm spring day. Those who thought I was lucky…they were fools who did not understand. They didn't understand what it meant to live…what it meant for us to keep on living in a world where we have to hide ourselves in order to survive.
They don't understand that there are things that just aren't reversible…precious things that you can never get back no matter how hard you may try…
And he had just done something that he could not reverse, no matter how much he wanted to, no matter how much he was willing to give to exchange for it.
He had just erased their sunshine, their own source of warmth…the joy to their pathetically saddened and burdened lives. Hatori felt as if the sun had all of a sudden set…as if winter had once again set its permanent grasp on his heart.
And this time…this time it wasn't just him…
This time he had to tell the others…tell them what they had done to the single spring lily of their lives.
What a curse.
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Oooo…second chappie is dune dune dune~!!! *laughing hysterically* Ahem… ^^;; What did you think?? Like I mentioned in the last chappie, I'd like this story to actually be a ficcy 'stead of just a one-shot…and I'm really hoping that it'll work out! I hoped you guys liked it, but nethertheless, tell me what ya thought of it, and if there's anything I've gotten wrong (especially all my attempts at keeping the right Jap names!! Man alive…it gets so confusing!!!) or you just absolutely can't stand, alrito??
As Hatori-centric as this seems to be right now, it wunt last o_O Not that I'm saying I dunt like him, but other characters will come into focus too…as soon as I can work them in ^^;; Right now the focus is more on him cuz…well, he was the only other one there to make erasing Tohru's memories possible, ne?? And I do like him XD
One last thing…*grins* A big thank you goes to everyone who reviewed last time~!! *sobs* You guys dunt know how much it means to me that you actually liked it~!! Although I have to admit…this ficcy is starting out quite a bit darker than I had intended for it to. *shrugs* It'll work out (I hope!)…and it'll get lighter as it goes…as much as I want it to be angsty at times, I want it to be funny too, to balance it out :D
Oh rite! I keep forgetting~! If you would like to know when updates are, leave me your email this time when you review (pls do~!), or just send me your email (tell me what it's for, of course ^^), and I'll be more than happy to drop you a line whenever I update. If you reviewed having signed in last time and have your email on your "home" page…well, I've already emailed you about this update, so I should just shut up now XP But really…I always find that having updates announced to me is much simpler than going to check ever so often, cuz ya never know when ppl might decide to update, you know?
*looks above* Anyhow…well, I kinda said this already, but comments, criticisms n' anything else most welcomed…fire away~!
~Aqua Sunshine ^^*