Chapter 18

The Morning After

Cordelia woke up to a clap of thunder outside. It was followed by a sudden down pour of rain. She sat up and realized where she was. Spike was lying next to her.

"Oh god," she whispered. Then she remembered last night. It had been one of the best nights she had ever had. Just her and Spike embarking in something so...special.

'I have to tell Fred' Cordelia decided and quietly slid out of bed. She pulled on her pants and her jacket then hurried out into the hallway, Copper close behind. She closed the door and turned to Copper with her finger to her lips. She tiptoed 4 doors over to where Fred and Wesley were staying. Just as she was about to turn the door handle the door swung open and Fred was standing there in Wesley's sweatshirt and her own pants. Cordelia yanked on her wrist and pulled her out into the hallway. The two went downstairs and stood under the shaded porch of the front entrance. They sat side by side on a bench with Copper at their feet.

"We did it last night Cordy. Wesley and I we...," it seemed like Fred was bubbly, excited, scared, and embarrassed all at the same time. "We had sex."

"No way!" Cordelia turned to her and gripped her shoulders.

"I know. I know. I wasn't sure at first either. I know we haven't even known each other for that long and it didn't seem realistic but we did. But it was weird. It felt so...so so...right," Fred said stumbling over her wording.

"I know what you mean because we did last night too. Spike and me," Cordelia said.

"Really?" Fred asked excitedly.

"Yeah. I know I felt the same way you did. But...I really love him Fred. I love Spike." It was the first time she had said it to anyone but it felt like it had always been there. Like Spike and her were destined for each other.

"I love Wesley too," she whispered. "But, what am I going to do Cordelia? I mean what if Wesley doesn't feel the same way about me? What if this was just for one time and he just thought of it as goofing off?"

"You don't have to worry Fred because Wesley...Wes, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would do something like that," she tried assuring Fred but all the while fear gripped her own heart. What if that was all it had been between Spike and her? What if they were just goofing around? But it had felt so special. He had told her he loved her. Cordelia and Fred sat in silence for a while just watching the rain and listening intently to conversations going on in the breakfast cabin next door.

"Some storm we're having," someone said and started to retell another storm they had been through. Fred put her hand over the side of the bench and Copper stuck his nose under it. She gently stroked him and sighed.

"What do you think they'll think when they wake up and see we're not there?"

"I wish I knew. Aren't people who are close supposed to be able to point out the others next move?" Cordelia asked.

"Gosh, If I knew how to do that then I probably wouldn't be where I am now," Fred answered.

"But then we would have never met. I like to believe that with every negative there comes a positive," Cordelia said trying to think on the bright side. Small tears dripped out of Fred's eyes.

"Then why do I feel so miserable?" Cordelia took her best friend into her arms as tears fell out of her eyes too. "I hope we won't live to regret this."

"Maybe we should of thought about that last night?" Cordelia asked. Fred nodded.

"Probably."

"Hey you guys. What are you doing sitting out in the rain?" Willow asked coming out from inside with Xander behind her.

"Just watching," Fred answered quickly wiping away her tears and brushing Cordelia's off her face with the sleeve of Wesley's sweater.

"Well Spike and Wes were looking for you," she said and went back inside. Xander jammed his hands in his pockets and paced around a bit.

"What's up Xand?" Cordelia asked seeing the glazed look in his eyes.

"I...we...I did something...bad last night," he said stumbling over his words the same way Fred had.

"What is it?" Fred asked yanking Xander down on the bench between her and Cordelia.

"I...last night," he didn't seem able to finish. He closed his eyes and wrung his hands together.

"I had sex with Angel's sister."