Title: Home is where the heart is
Pairing: Seth/ Ryan and Sandy/Kirsten
Rating: R
To read the NC-17 version go to the Yahoo! Group slashingtheoc
Spoilers: The Outsider
A/N: To Stéphanie for being a world class friend and Captain.hands over bottle of rum I believe I still owe you one?
I finally did it. My first slash fan fiction…well completed one at least. I hope you enjoy it. Happy reading.
Home is where the heart is.
Chapter 1 – Contemplation
How do you explain to a family that took you in and made you their own, that years of living with your own family had left you scarred, burnt out and unable to leave your past behind? Ryan hated how every time Sandy wanted to pat Ryan on the shoulder or give him a hug Ryan would flinch. Or when Kirsten wanted to hug or kiss him on the head. It was not the hug that terrified him. It was the simple contact. All physical contact in the Atwood home either came with pain or with some type of pain to come.
Ryan could remember once he had thought his mother was going to apologize for hitting him but it had been a simple act of deception. As soon as Ryan had settled into the hug his mother had offered, she had taken a kitchen knife which Ryan had failed to see on the little table next to the couch, and had drawn lines of blood over his upper leg. The carving eventually stopped and with a kiss on the top of his head Ryan was shoved off his mothers lap. Ryan had been 9 when that had happened. He never ever wanted to be touched again by his mother after that. She had betrayed him. Instead of apologizing for slapping him around Ryan's mother had only served to widen the gap between the mother and son bond.
Over the years things only got worse. Instead of Dawn being the only one to deal out the physical abuse boyfriends decided that it was entertaining to slap around the small blonde haired, blue eyed boy. Trey was of no use either. He was just as small and they had a silent agreement not to interfere when the other was being beaten, no matter how much it hurt to watch. There simply was no sensible reason for the other to get beaten as well. If they could give the other reprieve from the constant beatings by taking the hits when they were dealt out, then that was what they would do. Except over time Trey disappeared and there was no reprieve anymore for Ryan. And now he might have done the one thing that would take him away from his one true safe haven. He had fallen in love with the son and now he just had few minutes left before he would be forced to leave. There were only so many lines you could cross before the charity case had to hit the road.
"Hey, what you doing out here on this positively miserable day?" A voice called, startling Ryan out of his inner thoughts.
Ryan didn't reply, merely shrugged his shoulders at Seth and fiddled with his leather cuff on his wrist as he started to shiver. Seth smiled internally at the sight of Ryan curled up like he was. Arms wrapped around his knees, tying to be as small as he could be. It was a rare occurrence to see Ryan so vulnerable, almost child like. Seth could remember the first time that he had ever seen Ryan like this. It had been after the whole incident at Holly's party. Seth had gone to talk Ryan after they had arrived back home but Ryan had retreated back into himself. The one word answers had flowed after every comment or question Seth had made until after time silence had been the only thing to fill the pool house. He couldn't remember how long it had taken but eventually they had both fallen asleep. Ryan asleep on his bed and Seth lying on the couch and this slowly became a nightly routine Seth would sneak out of the house after his parents had gone to bed and he would try to persuade Ryan to talk.
Ryan never said one word about his past even when one night Seth was pulled from his slumber on the couch by whimpers from the direction of the bed. Seth immediately stood up and made his way towards the bed. Ryan was lying on the bed in a fetal position and was clutching the bed spread as if it were his life line. Occasionally he would shudder and then the whimpers would start again. What to do? Seth remembered when he was little and he had had nightmares his mother would sit next to him on the bed and stroke his hair, but Seth wasn't sure if it would be wise to do that with Ryan. Ryan could barely stand the constant hugs Seth dished out on a regular basis. How would Ryan react to being touched while sleeping? A slightly louder whimper tore Seth from his inner contemplations. Enough was enough. Seth gently settled next to Ryan on the bed and waited a few seconds to see what Ryan's reaction would be, when nothing happened he moved closer. He was relying on instinct now.
Chapter 2 – Instinct and little shudders.Seth laughed silently when he thought of years ago when he had found a stack of parenting books shoved in the bottom of his mothers cupboard. He had flipped through a few of them and then wondered if his mother always knew what to do because of these books. Grabbing a few he had run down the stairs and into the kitchen. His curiosity had gotten the best of him. He wanted to know if reading books made you a good parent cause maybe then he should give these books to some of the people here in Newport. Immediately the question had spilled from his mouth when he saw his mother sitting at one of the stools sipping coffee. Had these books made her a good mom? Seth remembered his mothers answer clearly. She had never actually read the books and nor had his father. They had decided that love would guide their caring instincts and that would be all they would ever need. Seth had never understood how love could help guide your instincts until recently.
Seth slowly placed his hand on Ryan's back, not really touching him but letting him know that he was there. Waiting once again to see Ryan's reaction, Seth didn't move. Ryan's only reaction was to whimper once again softly. Seth then finally touched Ryan's back and made small tiny circles. Ryan immediately tensed up at the contact but after a short period of time he relaxed into the soothing motion. The whimpers and the shuddering subsided and Ryan uncurled from his tense fetal position. Seth did that for so many evenings that he lost count. Ryan would start to fret in his sleep and Seth would be there to calm him down. Except one time things went wrong. Instead of Seth retreating back to the couch he had fallen asleep next to Ryan with his hand resting on his back. Not only had Seth's hand ended up on Ryan's back but sometime during the night Seth had gathered Ryan to him, encircling Ryan in his arms.
Seth sighed softly knowing this was probably going to be the last and only time he would ever get to hold Ryan like this, because there was no way that Seth could untangle himself without waking Ryan. Seth nuzzled Ryan's neck and breathed in softly, savoring the smell of just Ryan. It was a strange mixture of sea and smoke, with an underlying smell of something that Seth just couldn't place.
Ryan woke up slowly, which was a surprise within it self. Normally Ryan would wake up quickly and immediately take in account where he was and if there was even a hint of danger nearby. Now how ever he was pleasantly drowsy and relaxed and …wait a minute did somebody just nuzzle his neck and sniff him. It couldn't be Marissa because they had broken up; well Ryan had broken up with her when he had realized that she was no different than his mother. When anything went wrong it was never her fault it was always the fault of those around her. He hadn't been supportive enough, or Summer had wanted to go to the mall instead of sitting there listening to Marissa wail on about how the world was unfair. The world was unfair and it was what you did with it that made it worth while. It was the one thing that Ryan truly admired about the Cohens. Even though they had all the money in the world it was the simple things that they enjoyed. Ryan stiffened when he realized that not only did someone just nuzzle and sniff him but that person had him wrapped securely in their arms. Panicking Ryan wrenched himself out of the grip and in the process rolled away onto the floor leaving him lying on the floor in a daze.
Seth had immediately noticed when Ryan had tensed. Seth had no clue what to do. Knowing that if he moved that would freak Ryan out and that was the last thing that Seth wanted to do. Any decision making was taken from Seth when Ryan pulled himself from Seth's arms and performing, had it been in a lighter atmosphere, a comical roll off the bed.
"Ryan…? Ryan, are you okay?"
Ryan tried to take deep breaths but no matter what he tried he could not take those few simple breaths that his body so obviously craved. Oh of all the times to have an anxiety attack, he would have to have one now, in front of who ever it was that was here in the room with him. Ryan tried once again to breath but nothing he could think of could calm him down enough to start returning his breathing to a normal level. Black spots were soon dancing across his vision. Please let whoever was in the room with him be someone who wouldn't hurt him too badly.
Seth panicked. Ryan was sitting there next to the bed were he had fallen and hadn't answered him at all. He hoped he hadn't just ruined the first friendship he had ever had in years. Looking closer at Ryan, Seth realized that Ryan wasn't answering him because he was in the middle of what seemed to be a full blown anxiety attack. Seth shuddered remembering how helpless he had felt when he had had his own attacks. Whoever said being victim to arrogant jocks and their cruel intolerable taunting and violent behavior had no lasting effect had obviously never been on the receiving side. Seth clambered off the bed and knelt before Ryan. What he saw terrified him. Ryan was gazing straight ahead with a blank, terrified look in his eyes.
"Ryan! Come on man, breath!"
Ryan heard a muffled voice somewhere in front of him but all he could see in front of him was a blurred shape. All rational thought fled from Seth's mind. He needed to help Ryan and Ryan wasn't responding to his voice, actually he wasn't even looking at him. Grabbing Ryan's face between his hands Seth forced him to look at him. He almost let go when he felt Ryan flinch at the contact but Seth needed to get through to Ryan before he passed out. Normally Seth would have lightly slapped the person but considering Ryan's past history that wouldn't be the brightest thing to do and Seth wasn't one to inflict pain when it wasn't completely necessary. Well if he couldn't use any painful stimuli then he was just going to have to use a pleasurable one.
Keeping his hands firmly cupped around Ryan's face he leant forward bringing his lips to Ryan's. Softly, he moved his lips over Ryan's, when nothing bad happened he gently started to coax Ryan's lips open with his tongue. Soft, gentle swabs over Ryan's lower lip soon got the message across and Ryan's lips slowly parted with a small gasp. Gently and slowly Seth let his tongue explore Ryan's mouth. While he knew that this might not have been the smartest move he had made he was going to enjoy this one opportunity.
Ryan felt the gentle kisses across his lips and instead of sharp teeth or a stabbing tongue he felt a gentle coaxing motion, begging him for entrance. With a small gasp Ryan allowed the gentle appendage further. Ryan relaxed into the kiss. It felt incredible and no one had ever made him feel this appreciated or worshipped. Slowly, so as not to startle the gentle intruder Ryan slowly batted his tongue against the others tongue. Seth almost pulled back when he felt Ryan respond to the kiss. Seth slowly loosened his firm grip on Ryan's face and let his one hand slide down to his waist while the other gentle angled Ryan's face to allow deeper access.
Hands that had once held Ryan's face firmly slowly shifted, bringing with them a gentle reassurance and the perfect angle to continue the kiss. Seth slowly pulled back giving the lips of this beautiful creature in front of him another gentle kiss. Instead of moving his hands he left them where they were and rested his forehead on Ryan's, looking into dazed blue eyes. Ryan blinked slowly and was surprised to chocolate brown eyes looking directly into his own.
"Seth?" he croaked.
Seth didn't say a word but merely removed his head from its resting-place and nodded his head. He was glad that he had managed to pull Ryan out of his attack but now he was sort of terrified. He was pretty sure that Ryan was straight and he was also pretty sure that Ryan did not appreciate being kissed by a guy.
Ryan was quite prepared to freak out but after looking closer at Seth he realized that type of reaction was not what was required at this exact moment. Seth looked mildly terrified but his eyes had a shine in them that couldn't be ignored. It wasn't the fact that Seth was male and had kissed him, but it was rather that Seth had kissed him and it had been sweet and gentle. In Chino any supposed contact came in only one form, rough and borderline violent. Kisses were filled with hard nips and any other activity was quick and to the point. Ryan never understood why they called it 'comfort'; it was more like blowing off violent frustrations. There was no actual desire to comfort or ensure that the other person felt okay or safe. It was the complete opposite of what had just happened between Seth and himself. The kiss had been gentle and slow and Seth had been focused on nothing else but Ryan.
Seth sat and watched. He saw how the dazed look slowly left Ryan's face to be replaced by a frown and a slight grin. Seth sighed softly. At least Ryan didn't have deep lines marring his face in anger. Seth slowly glanced down at his hands, not even realizing that at one stage they had left Ryan's waist and face, only to settle on Seth's knee with one hand clutching Ryan's. Ryan followed Seth's gaze downwards. There on Seth's knee lay their hands, intertwined, both aware but refusing to let go.
"Seth?" this time there was no croaking quality to his voice.
Seth's head snapped his head up and before any form of filter could be placed between his brain and his mouth, he started talking.
"Umm I'm so sorry dude. It's just that there was the passing out on couch and then onwards to the whimpers. Dude why didn't you tell someone you were having nightmares every night? Oh and then me being instinctual and all. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to freak you out. Blame it on AP Biology. I stayed up really late studying and I guess it tired me out more than I thought and whoosh I fell asleep. I'm really sorry. I..."
Seth didn't get to say another word because Ryan had covered his lips with a rather stunning finger. Could fingers even be stunning? If the hand was just perfect then surely the finger could be stunning?
Ryan almost laughed at Seth. Had Seth really believed that Ryan hadn't noticed the first night that Seth had comforted him, or the night after that and the night after that. Ryan had known alright and the fact that Seth said nothing had made it all that more special to Ryan. Seth hadn't gone to his parents informing them that Ryan had sleeping problems. Instead he had ensured that he was there every evening to chase away Ryan's demons with a gentle touch. Seth had been doing this for almost four months now without a word.
"Seth, has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?"
"Umm once or twice," seeing Ryan's eyebrow lift he admitted, "Okay well a lot."
Ryan merely grinned and proceeded to pull Seth towards him. Seth followed easily until his legs were wrapped around Ryan's waist and his head was nestled in the crook of Ryan's shoulder.
"I'm really sorry, dude. I just...panicked and I didn't want to hit you cause that's just mean and kissing seemed like a good idea cause it's stimuli. Stimuli helped me get out of my attacks and well kissing seemed like a good idea. I'll leave if you want." Seth mumbled into Ryan's shoulder.
Ryan almost laughed at how stupid Seth could be. If Ryan had really wanted Seth to leave he could have easily kicked him out of the pool house. Ryan had rather chosen to bring Seth closer.
"Seth, look at the situation closely. Does it look like I want you to leave?"
Seth blushed when he realized that one; they were sitting very closely together and two that Ryan was doing this amazing soothing motion with his hand on Seth's back.
"So you're okay with the whole sleeping next to you and The Kiss?"
Ryan merely made a positive sound and then proceeded to nuzzle Seth's neck placing a gentle kiss on the spot where shoulder met neck. Seth moaned softly. Such a simple touch seemed to say so much more for Ryan than Seth's rambling could ever say. You would expect that more would be understood the more you talked but there were only a select few that understood half of what Seth said. Ryan being one of them. With another gentle kiss, this time just below Seth's ear Ryan untangled himself from Seth's long limbs and stood.
"Come on lets get some sleep."
Seth immediately clambered to his feet and walked towards the door of the pool house.
"Seth, where are you going?"
"Umm...you said sleep so I assumed you meant me in my room and you in yours."
Ryan shook his head. Ryan climbed into bed and held the duvet up.
"Seriously dude?"
"Yes seriously. Now get in here before you freeze to death."
Seth bounded over to the bed and before he could blink Ryan pulled Seth down on the bed, covered them both with the duvet and curled up to Seth.
That was how Kirsten found them early morning. Seth lying on his back with Ryan curled up next him, head resting on his shoulder. Kirsten smiled. She couldn't think of anyone better for Seth and she couldn't think of anyone better for Ryan. Seeing both shiver and curl up to each other even more, she realized that the pool house was freezing. Surely Ryan had put the heating on. It was then that Kirsten realized that the air conditioning/heating had broken down about a week ago and they were still waiting for the repairman to show up. Crossing silently to the cupboards, she grabbed a blanket and covered them both.
"Mom?" Seth mumbled, then realizing his position he tensed. Ryan sensing his distress somehow managed to get closer to Seth.
"Easy Seth, we'll talk about this later. Go back to sleep." Kirsten whispered. Seth nodded; still sleepy and forgetting that his mom still was present, kissed Ryan gently on the head. Kirsten watched Seth doze off again and making sure that neither was shivering anymore she left the room with a gentle smile on her face.
Chapter 3 – Perfection and bliss.
From there things had gone easy. Ryan still had setbacks when Seth would sneak up on him and wrap his arms around his waist but they took things slowly. Knowing instinctively at what pace the other wanted to go. Seth spent almost every night in the pool house and if they weren't falling asleep there they were up in Seth's room. Just holding hands while studying or having Ryan rest his head on Seth's shoulder watching some program on TV were all they really needed for now. Seth's parents had taken things in a stride, well at least his mother had. The talk they were going to have later had merely been a talk about not doing anything he wasn't ready for and if they were going to do things like that then to do it safely. An embarrassing conversation but he guessed it had needed to be done.
Seth was pretty sure his Dad had no clue about him and Ryan. It was pretty strange because he had assumed that his Mom had told him, but when an invitation to a spa for the weekend had come up while his Dad was away on a business trip for the new company, nothing had been said. No talks about not having sex while they were gone. Absolutely nothing, which was the reason why Seth had decided that this would be the perfect time for the romantic evening they had been trying to plan; well maybe more Seth than Ryan.
Seth had spent the whole day preparing for the evening. He had bought candles, not the scented kind cause that was just too minty, and anything else he could possibly think of to make the night perfect. Mexican because it was Ryan's favorite even though he had never said it. It had been pretty obvious that he loved the stuff because he always ate that little bit more, which in itself wasn't that much. Seth smiled when he thought of how close he and Ryan had gotten Seth hardly knew everything about Ryan but Ryan had slowly started to open up to Seth. He talked about some of the boyfriends Dawn had brought home and how he was constantly being tested. Ryan was supposed to be strong even when cigarettes were being put out on his lower back, no flinching or sounds were allowed to be made. Seth hadn't actually seen the scars yet but he had sometimes felt them when their kissing had turned into something more intense and hands had wandered under white wife beaters.
Ryan sighed as he trudged up the slight incline towards that Cohen's house. A double shift at the Crab Shack on a Saturday was bound to kill anyone but with a firm dose of Marissa begging had turned him into a walking corpse. Marissa had been constantly trying to get back together with Ryan ever since Ryan had said enough was enough and had broken up with her. She still thought he was single but had he actually been single he would have never considered it. Marissa needed to clean up soon but she had been drinking even more recently, forcing even Summer to abandon her. A friend could only take to much before they had to think of themselves as well.
Summer surprisingly had been a great friend to both Ryan and Seth. She was the only person their age that knew anything about Ryan and Seth's relationship and even that hadn't been on purpose. Summer had stumbled across them when she had barged into Seth's room ready to rant about how stupid Marissa was being but had found something else instead. Ryan lying on his back with Seth spread above him, placing gentle kisses along his jaw. Since then the three had been slightly inseparable, while except for the fact that Summer now immediately assumed they both liked shopping.
Ryan sighed when he saw no Seth in front of the TV playing X-box. He had really hoped to be able to relax with Seth but it seemed that he must have gone out. Trudging further into the house and into the kitchen he noticed that the drapes Kirsten had bought to offer Ryan some privacy were closed and…wait were those candles surrounding the hot tub? Ryan walked up to the kitchen door to take a closer a look. They were candles, and there was also a bottle of 7-up in ice waiting in an ice bucket next to the candles.
Arms slipped around his waist from behind. Ryan leaned back in to the lean figure behind him, relaxing, knowing that Seth would keep him up.
"Tired?" Seth asked while placing a kiss on Ryan's neck.
"Exhausted." Ryan mumbled.
"Well then aren't you lucky that I have prepared a glorious evening of pampering, such as the hot tub waiting for you outside and then there are a few more little surprises waiting for you. Your swimming trunks are in my room, get changed and I'll meet you outside."
Running his hands along Ryan's side he slowly pulled back and headed toward the pool house. There were a few minor adjustments to be made before everything would be ready. Ryan stood there watching Seth walk towards the pool house. It always amazed him how Seth could make a simple touch so special, so meaningful.
Seth smiled against Ryan's neck. They were sitting in the hot tub with Ryan completely limp against Seth's chest. Seth couldn't help himself. His hands slowly started making small circles on Ryan's stomach, moving slowly higher until they reached his nipples. Rubbing over them softly he took satisfaction in Ryan's little gasp. Circling one with his one hand he used the other to continue roaming Ryan's body. Ryan moaned softly when he felt Seth tease his nipple with adept fingers while slick moist kisses were placed along his neck.
"Seeetthh." Ryan gasped when Seth's exploring hand rubbed its way further down and into Ryan's swimming trunks.
Seth gasped Ryan's name as he came and Ryan followed afterwards.
"Dude you okay?" Seth asked when Ryan didn't move for several minutes. Ryan only nodded slightly before snuggling closer to the warmth that constantly oozed out of Seth.
"Come on dude. Let's get in side and shower. I've got a whole evening of fun things planned for us."
"You mean this wasn't all of it?"
"Nope, now come on. It's getting chilly out here." Seth said while standing as Ryan moved off his lap. Seth waited with a towel for both Ryan and himself. Wrapping the towel around Ryan's shoulders he slipped his arm around his waist, leading him towards the pool house.
The shower seemed to have become more than a place to clean up. Hands traveled over water slick, only to elect gasps from the touched. Seth gasped when Ryan's mouth soon started following his hands. Teeth soon tugged on sensitive nipple, sending all possible remaining blood to one very hard part of his body. Remembering the satin sheets and candle lit room waiting for them in the room Seth realized that they better stop now or he'd never make it any further.
"Ryan." A small nip on Seth's neck almost sent him to his knees.
"Ryan, wait. Stop."
Ryan immediately stopped, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. Seth seeing the look on Ryan's face pecked his lips softly.
"Dude, relax. If we don't stop now I'll never make it to the bed and that's where all the really good stuff starts."
Seth grinned when he saw the smile grace Ryan's face. It was that soft gentle smile reserved only for Seth. Giving Ryan another small kiss he grabbed the towel next to the shower and dried himself off, while trying to restrain him self from touching Ryan again.
Leaving Ryan to finish drying himself off, Seth lit the candles he hadn't lit yet and switching the overhead lights off. Seth relaxed on the satin sheets, closing his eyes to enjoy the smooth cool feeling.
Ryan gasped at the sight that met his eyes when he walked out of the bathroom. Seth was lying on black satin sheets. The sheets contrasted beautifully with Seth's pale skin.
Seth pulled Ryan towards him. Kissing him softly on his lips he spooned behind him wrapping his arms around him tightly. Ryan smiled and wiggled further back against Seth, sighing in bliss when Seth covered his neck with small kisses. Seth pulled the duvet over them.
"I love you Ryan." He murmured sleepily.
"Love you too, Seth." Ryan whispered back knowing that this was one type of love that would never cause him pain.
Chapter 4 – End of the Road.
Ryan and Seth were torn from a peaceful slumber when they heard a shriek of horror. Ryan immediately sat up straight to see Marissa standing in the door war with Kirsten walking behind her.
"How could you? Here you are sleeping like some filthy little faggot and I thought that you loved me and were only playing hard to get. You are garbage, Chino, garbage! Did you honestly think that we ever wanted you here? We didn't! The only reason I was interested in you was because you were dirty little juvenile the Cohens had taken in. You were a thrill. If I ever see your face again I'll ensure that even the Cohens can't keep you out of juvie, which is where you belong. My mother was right. All trash belongs with other trash. Go back to your garbage hood. You are no longer welcome here." Marissa hissed. Turning around on pointed high heels she fled from the room not noticing that she had almost shoved Kirsten to the floor.
Kirsten regained her footing and stepped into the pool house. There on the bed lay her son and Ryan. Kirsten shook her head in disbelief. She had hoped that even though she had not said anything they would respect the rules of the house.
"Mom, we can explain."
"Seth, nothing needs to explained. It's quite obvious what happened here last night."
Kirsten looked at the towel on the floor trying not to have to see her son and his lover on the bed with nothing more than a duvet separating their nakedness from her sight. Thinking of how things were going to have to change Kirsten sighed and looked at Ryan.
"Ryan, you are going to have to move out of here. Pack your things and we'll move you out when Sandy gets back." And with those words Kirsten turned around and left the pool house.
Ryan felt as if the world had swallowed him whole when he heard Kirsten utter those words. Not again. They couldn't do this. Not now. Ryan swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Ryan glanced at Seth and saw the look of utter disbelief on his face. Seth wanted to scream at the injustice. How could his mom just kick Ryan out like that? She could have forbidden Seth to spend the night in Ryan's room or grounded them both, but kicking Ryan out? It was totally inconceivable. Seth lay on the bed numb as he watched Ryan slowly stand, grab his old clothes and head for the bathroom.
Ryan wanted to punch the mirror in anger. It was so unfair. Ryan had finally learnt to trust and now he was being shipped off. It wasn't fair but Ryan almost let a bitter laugh escape him. Since when had anything in his life been fair, if life had been fair he would have had parents like the Cohens to begin with instead of the drunken whore known as his mother. Climbing into the shower he put the shower as hot as he could stand and tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Half and hour later he had made up his mind. He wasn't going to make anything harder on the Cohens. They were just doing what they thought was right and that meant keeping the disturbed juvenile from Chino away from their only son. Switching off the shower he slowly climbed out of the shower only to have Seth walk in just as he had put on the last of his clothes.
"It's not fair man. We'll talk to them." Seth whispered.
"There is no point Seth. Once your dad gets home in," looking at the clock on the shelf, "in an hour I'm going to be on my way to some group home and there is nothing we can do about it."
"You could run. I could meet up with you later tonight."
Ryan sighed at the optimistic idea Seth had come up with.
"I'm tired of running from my fate. I'm tired of trying to achieve something that will never happen." Ryan said as he walked past Seth.
"So that's it? You are just going to give up. What about us? Don't we mean anything?" Seth exclaimed.
"It was great while it lasted." Ryan uttered with no emotion.
"I can't believe you!" Seth yelled as he stormed out of the pool house past his mom who was sitting in the kitchen looking at an interior design magazine.
"Seth?"
"Just leave it. You've done enough." He yelled as he stormed up to his room.
Ryan refused to cry. He would have to toughen up if he was going to be shipped off to some group home soon. Any weakness from Ryan's side would mean that the other kids would see him as some form of prey. Ryan slowly pulled his backpack out of the cupboard and started packing his things. Ryan refused to take anything the Cohen's had given him. Hopefully they would be able to sell it all or get their money back. They had spent far too much money on him anyway. It didn't take him very long to pack. He had hardly arrived with anything and he was going to leave with the same amount.
Slinging his backpack onto one shoulder he walked outside. Looking back into the pool house he saw that he had twenty minutes left till Sandy came home. Ryan decided that he would spend his last few minutes on the beach. Ryan could spend hours just looking at the ocean. He remembered how he had almost gotten the guts to ask Sandy if he could teach him how to surf but he had changed his mind. He was Chino trash and it was Sandy's time to relax not try teach some juvenile how to surf. Ryan sat down on the sand, setting his backpack beside him as he watched the sun set.
Unbeknown to Ryan, Seth had been watching Ryan from the window of his room. He had noticed how defeated Ryan's posture was, and even now that he was just sitting on the beach he seemed to have curled into himself. Seth decided that if Ryan was going to leave then he would make sure that he left on good terms so that even though it would be hard they could keep contact. Seth raced downstairs, just as the front door opened. Ignoring his dad's call of hello Seth raced outside. Feeling the cool wind bite through his T-shirt he ran into the pool house, grabbed a blanket out of the cupboard and headed towards the beach. Seeing Ryan shiver again after his response to Seth's stupid question of why he was out here on such a miserable day. He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and sat behind Ryan, wrapping his arms around him. Ryan instinctively settled back against Seth as he wrapped his arms around him.
"I don't want you to leave but then what I'd hate even more is if you left and we were angry at each other." Seth whispered.
"I'm not angry at you. I'm angry with myself. I knew I should never have allowed myself to get attached to anyone. My staying here with your parents could never have been a permanent thing."
Seth didn't know how to answer that. There was really no answer to that.
"Helllo?" Sandy called as he walked through the front door.
Sandy frowned in confusion as Seth ignored him and raced towards the kitchen. Sandy followed and saw Kirsten sitting there with an interior design magazine spread in front of her.
"Could you explain why my own son refuses to acknowledge me?"
"I wouldn't know. He hasn't said a word to me either since I caught him and Ryan together naked in the pool house." Kirsten answered.
"Wait…Seth and Ryan?" Sandy asked as he sat down on the stool next to his wife.
Kirsten nodded as she thought about how pretty the blue and gold motif in the picture she was studying looked.
"Seth and Ryan, you mean as in a couple?" Sandy muttered slightly dazed.
"Honestly Sandy. Yes as a couple. I'm surprised you never knew before now. It's not like they've been hiding it."
Sandy shook his head trying to clear it. Fine, he could accept that Seth and Ryan together but why did Seth ignore him and Kirsten.
"It still doesn't explain why Seth isn't talking to either of us."
"Oh he is probably occupied with helping Ryan pack." She replied.
"Ryan pack? What? Why?" Sandy exclaimed. He had thought that Kirsten had come to like Ryan and accept Ryan.
"Why is Ryan leaving?"
"Leaving? Who said anything about leaving? I just said that Ryan should pack and that I wanted him out the pool house…Oh no."
Kirsten gasped as she realized how her words must have come across to both teens.
"Oh no what?" Sandy demanded.
"That's exactly what I said to Ryan. I never mentioned that I wanted him to pack because I wanted him to have a room in the house so that there was no sneaking to the pool house where we can't keep an eye on them."
"So Ryan and Seth think you've kicked Ryan out?"
"That sounds about right."
Anything Sandy had hoped to say was interrupted as Seth and Ryan entered the kitchen. Sandy immediately took note of Ryan's old backpack. Sandy also took note of how Ryan and Seth were clutching the others hand in a death grip.
"So I hear you guys had something of a wild night?"
Ryan shrugged and Seth merely stood still, taking a deep breath.
"Dad! You can't send Ryan away just because of this. It's not fair. You could just ground us or ban us from sleeping in the others room. I love Ryan and if he goes then I'm going with him."
"Seth. Stop. I'm not worth giving up your future." Ryan calmly said even though his heart had leaped when he heard Seth declare his love for Ryan to his parents.
"Boys relax. Ryan isn't going any where." Sandy said while running a hand through his hair.
"It's okay Mr. Cohen. I understand. Just drop me off at the nearest group home."
Kirsten gasped at the dead tone with which Ryan spoke. It was as if his life had collapsed and now that Kirsten thought about it that was exactly what he thought.
"No you two. Ryan, Seth, sit down." Kirsten gently commanded.
Looking at each other they both recognized the confused look within in each other's eyes. Why weren't they telling Ryan to get in the car and so they could drop him off somewhere?
Kirsten wrung her hands as she realized what mess she had made of things. Taking a deep breath she started to explain what had happened.
"Listen, there seems to have been a misunderstanding and it's entirely my fault. When I told Ryan that he should pack and that he had to leave the pool house I didn't mean that we were sending him away. What I should have said was that now that you two have obviously been intimate things are going to have to change. I want Ryan to move into the house because Sandy and I have no control over what happens in the pool house. Just like we would do if you were dating girls we expect the normal rules to apply. A sock on the door will let us know that we should definitely knock on the door before we enter."
Ryan and Seth both sighed in relief and smiled at each other.
"However…"Kirsten continued as she saw their smiles, "Sleeping in the others room should not become a nightly occurrence. It will not kill either of you to sleep in your own rooms now and then. Not like the two of you have been doing for the last few months."
Ryan looked at them shocked. How had they known that Ryan and Seth were together? They hadn't done anything in front of either of them. Seth seeing Ryan's confused look remembered that Ryan had been sleeping when his mom had found them.
"Mom found us sleeping in the pool house the night we got together."
Ryan blushed lightly.
"Right, now that's been sorted lets get some food and we can watch some DVD's I rented for tonight. Why don't you three men move Ryan's stuff into the room across Seth's while we wait for the food I'm about to order."
All three nodded and before Ryan could say thank you Seth tugged him towards the pool house.
Early the next morning Marissa stumbled towards the pool house in search of Ryan. She could forgive Ryan for a moment of weakness. She would forgive Ryan and he would sort out everything for her, just like he used to.
Kirsten sighed when she saw Marissa stumble towards the pool house Kirsten put down her mug and decided that it was time she told Marissa what she had thought of her little speech last night.
"Marissa?"
"Oh hey Mrs Cohen."
"If you are looking for Ryan he's not in the pool house."
"Really? Do you know where he is?
"I do. He happens to be sleeping in the house, which is where he is staying now. And do you know why? Because some people actually realize what a special person Ryan really is. Which I can say is clearly something you obviously haven't."
"I just want to talk to him."
"You said more than enough last night. I suggest that you leave before I call your mother and let her know that her daughter is staggering around back yards completely drunk."
Marissa nodded quietly and started of thinking of all the fun she could have ruining Ryan's and Seth's lives with the information she had. If she couldn't be with Ryan then no one could.
"Oh and Marissa?"
"Yes Mrs Cohen?"
"If I hear one word from any one that you've been spreading nasty rumors about either Seth or Ryan, you better start running. You thought my father blackmailing you was bad? Just wait until I get hold of you."
Marissa nodded and stumbled off quickly mumbling.
Kirsten smiled in self satisfaction as she returned to the kitchen.
Kirsten smiled when she saw that Ryan and Seth had fallen asleep on the couch. They were lying on the couch in almost exactly the same way she had found them months ago. Ryan's back was against the back of the couch with his head resting on Seth's chest. Seth's arm was wrapped around Ryan protectively.
"You coming to bed?" Sandy asked as he wrapped his arms around is wife.
"In a minute just let me just get them a blanket."
Sandy nodded and he too smiled at the peaceful looks both boys had on their faces. Kirsten soon returned with a blanket and while covering both boys Ryan stirred and blinked sleepy eyes at her.
"It's okay. Go back to sleep." Kirsten murmured as she kissed both boys good night.
Ryan closed his eyes smiled softly. He had finally found a home where they accepted him for he was and the best thing of all was love didn't come with pain.
THE END
A/N: I realise that Marissa is a bit OOC but drinking heavily affects people more than one would think. So I'm sorry to all Marissa fans but I don't really like her and that's come through in my story.