Behind Blue Eyes

By Thalia Drogna

Archer reached the bridge and his officer's filed out to their stations. The Engineer's station was conspicuously empty. Antonia stood behind Archer and Darwin moved to look over Lieutenant Reed's shoulder. On the view screen hung the ominous form of a Klingon battle cruiser.

"Put him on Hoshi," said Archer.

"Yes, sir," replied Hoshi.

"Commander Kartok," said Archer, as the Klingon appeared on the screen.

"You have no honour, Archer," shouted the Klingon. "I am giving you the opportunity to surrender before we blow you out of the sky. I would prefer to take you and Colonel Darwin back to the High Council alive, but if necessary evidence of your deaths will suffice for me to reclaim my honour."

"We're not going to surrender," said Archer. "You're not getting that weapon."

"Then so be it, your life and those of your crew are forfeit. By the way, how is your Commander Tucker?" asked the Klingon grinning evilly.

"Shut him off, Hoshi," said Archer angrily.

"My pleasure, sir," replied Hoshi, cutting the circuit. The view was once again of the Klingon battle cruiser.

"Lieutenant, how do we match up against that Klingon battle cruiser?" asked Archer.

"Not very well. They're armed with disrupters and their hull plating strength is impressive," said Reed.

"Sir, we're being hailed by the Venture on the surface," said Hoshi. "They want to know what's going on and when we arrived. According to their sensors we weren't here a second ago."

"Lije has returned them," said Antonia, "but as far as they're concerned they never disappeared."

"Sir, the Klingons are lining up for an attack run. It looks as if they're going to try to hit the Venture on the surface before she can takeoff," said Reed.

"Hoshi, tell them we'll explain the whole thing later. Right now they need to takeoff," said Archer.

"Aye, sir," replied Hoshi.

"Travis get us between the Klingons and the Venture," said Archer. There was no way the Venture could defend itself against a Klingon battle cruiser, at least Enterprise would have a fighting chance.

"Captain, our hull plating won't be able to take many hits from the Klingon ship," said Reed.

"I'm aware of that, Lieutenant, but the Venture doesn't stand a chance unless we help them out," said Archer.

"Captain, I am detecting a power surge from the Builder vessel, it appears to be moving," said T'Pol.

"Antonia, what is Lije going to do?" asked Archer.

"Remove the ship from this area of space," said Antonia. "It's time for me to leave, but I need to do something first. I'm going to get into a lot of trouble for this."

"What are you going to do?" asked Archer, he hated being out of the loop and was more than a little worried about what Antonia had planned.

Antonia went to the view screen which showed the Klingon battle cruiser that was about to begin its attack run. She flicked a hand as if she was swatting a fly and the ship disappeared.

"Let me guess," said Darwin. "You temporarily moved them out of the way."

Antonia nodded. "They will return in one hour, that should be enough time for you and the Venture to escape if you leave now."

"You said the ship was being removed from this area of space," said T'Pol. "Where is it being moved to?"

"What happens when you add a black hole to another black hole?" asked Antonia.

"The mass of the two black holes is combined," replied T'Pol.

"He's taking it to Faranor?" asked Darwin.

"Yes," said Antonia.

"You said you'd be in trouble," said Archer.

"I should have let you fight your own battle," said Antonia. "I have interfered and I may well have changed the course of history. I will have to answer for that to the Builders."

"What will happen to you?" asked Archer.

"I don't know, no one has ever disobeyed the orders of the Builders before. It is likely that I won't be allowed to enter this plane of existence again, but I think that's a small price to pay for my actions," said Antonia. "Anyway, my chariot awaits. It was nice to meet you all. I wish I could say au revoir but I'm pretty sure this is goodbye." She stood in the middle of the bridge one moment and the next there was a white flash and she was gone.

The Builder vessel hung in space above the planet, a huge majestic craft of silver metal. It gracefully turned so that its nose pointed away from the planet and the Deneb system. Then it disappeared in a blast of white light that for a few seconds blinded everyone who had been looking at the screen.

"Sir, the Venture is ready to proceed on to Sigma," said Hoshi.

"Mr Mayweather, get us out of here. We're escorting the Venture to her next destination," said Archer. "Colonel Darwin, my ready room, now."

Archer sat down at his desk in his ready room. Darwin stood in front of him once more.

"I hope that you're satisfied, Colonel," said Archer bitterly.

"That the mission is over? Yes, I'm satisfied. At the way it turned out? No," replied Darwin. "If I could have done anything to stop Trip being injured then I would have done it."

"I want you off my ship as soon as possible," said Archer.

"I must ask you to keep the events on the planet confidential," said Darwin.

"You can ask, but I'll still be sending Admiral Forrest a detailed report," said Archer.

"Captain, you are endangering the security of Earth. If word of this gets back to the Vulcans then it could seriously jeopardise our alliance with them," said Darwin.

"You killed a Klingon, I think that may be more of a danger to Earth's safety," said Archer.

"One dead Klingon won't start a war, as far as they're concerned he died a warrior's death in battle," said Darwin.

"I don't care how the Klingons see it. You murdered him!" said Archer, slamming his open hand down on the desk in anger.

"It was self-defence," replied Darwin, calmly. "I don't have the tricks or strength of your Vulcan friend. The only way to safely disable a Klingon as far as I'm concerned is to kill it. He wouldn't have hesitated to kill me if I'd given him the chance, Klingons fight to the death. It was because Trip forgot that, that he ended up getting hurt and I blame that on you, Captain. He's been so busy trying to fit in on this ship of yours that he's lost his edge. I don't enjoy killing, Captain, but occasionally there is no other way. That's what I taught my men. Ignoring the dangers of this universe won't make them go away."

"Don't lecture me on the dangers of the universe, Colonel," said Archer, with a cold edge to his voice. "I am well aware that there are times when taking a life is the only option, but this was not one of them."

"Trip might disagree with you there," said Darwin.

"Actually, I'm pretty damn sure that he'd be standing here telling you the exact same thing that I am," said Archer.

"It's a shame that he's lying in sick bay then," said Darwin, and he turned and left the ready room.

There was still no word from Phlox and it had been over two hours since they'd returned from Deneb IV. Archer had returned to the bridge after his interview with Darwin, but with no sign of the Klingons following them everything was quiet so he had gone back to his ready room and the paperwork that he knew he needed to catch up on. He looked at the monitor on his desk and noticed that he had messages. Most of them were daily reports and then he noticed one of the messages was from Trip, the time indicated that he'd sent it just before they left for the planet. He opened it and read it with a cold feeling settling inside his chest.

To: Captain Jonathan Archer, Commanding Officer, NX-01 Enterprise

Cc: Admiral Christopher Forrest, Starfleet Headquarters, Earth

From: Commander Charles Tucker III, Chief Engineer, NX-01 Enterprise

I hereby resign my position as Chief Engineer and my Starfleet commission as Commander, to be effective at the earliest possible date. It has been an honor and privilege to serve as Chief Engineer of Enterprise for the past three years, but, given recent revelations about my past service record, I am no longer able to continue. This has been a difficult decision for me and one that I hope you will respect.

I am willing to continue in my current position until a new appointment has been made. My recommendation for my replacement would be to promote Lieutenant Hess. She has demonstrated her ability to command on a number of occasions and has excellent engineering skills in addition to her detailed knowledge of Enterprise's systems.

Yours sincerely,

Commander Charles Tucker III

Damn, thought Archer. He just looked at the screen re-reading the words for a few moments, trying to let them sink in. This wasn't what he wanted. He couldn't let Trip do this to himself. Hadn't he told Trip that he didn't want his resignation. Archer might have a problem with some of the things that Trip had done in the past but that didn't mean he should deprive Enterprise of the best Engineer in the fleet. It was a measure of just how badly this had effected Trip that he was willing to give up the one thing that Archer knew he truly loved doing.

The letter was very formal, right down to the signature, and copied to Admiral Forrest, which meant that Trip was serious in his intent. He could almost hear the heartache behind the words. Now Trip lay in sick bay in critical condition after he'd tried to save Hoshi's life. On the shuttle he thought that he'd lost him and he had realised just how much Trip meant to him and what life would be like without him. It was inescapable, no matter how much he tried to hate Trip, he couldn't do it.

Instead of shutting Trip out he should have been there for him and supported him. When Darwin had recruited Trip he would have been twenty four. At that age Archer had been more concerned with going out drinking with his pilot buddies than protecting Earth. It was a lot of weight for young shoulders to carry and it would have been easy for a charismatic man like Darwin to persuade Trip that what he was doing was necessary. Archer had very little time for the MACO Colonel.

"Hoshi, get me Admiral Forrest," said Archer wearily, pressing the com button.

Archer sat back in his chair while he waited for Hoshi to get hold of the Admiral.

"Jon, I assume you're calling about Commander Tucker's resignation," said the Admiral when he appeared on the screen.

"Admiral, Commander Tucker is currently lying in sick bay being operated on by Doctor Phlox after he sustained a serious stab wound during our mission for Colonel Darwin." Archer filled Forrest in on all the details of the mission and exactly what had happened, including some of Trip's past with Special Projects. Forrest found some of the details hard to swallow but he knew better than to think Archer wasn't telling him the truth.

Archer looked directly at his commanding officer. "Sir, I know this point may be academic if the surgery isn't successful, but I want you to refuse his resignation."

"Why Jon? He sounds as if he wants to go and the last thing you want on your ship is a man who doesn't want to be there," said Forrest. "We'll be sorry to lose him but there isn't anything we can do if he really wants to leave."

"That's just it, I don't think he does really want to leave. I think he believes that he and I can no longer work together. He feels he somehow he has to pay for everything that he did while he was in Special Projects."

"Fine, Jon, I'll refuse it this time, but if he submits it again once he's back on his feet then I'll have no choice but to accept it," said Forrest.

"Thank you, sir," said Archer.

"I hope he pulls through, Jon," said Forrest.

"So do I, sir. I'll be sending you my full formal report on all this in the next few days. Archer out."

Archer went back to work on the reports which he had been neglecting the past few days. He was finding it very hard to concentrate though.

The com beeped and startled him. "Phlox to Archer."

"Go ahead doctor," said Archer, already fearing the worst.

"The news is mixed," said Phlox. "He survived the surgery but he went into cardiac arrest again while he was on the table, that doesn't bode well for his recovery. He is still in critical condition."

"What are his chances, doctor?"

"About forty percent," said Phlox. "The blood loss was substantial and he had injuries to his spleen, left kidney and small intestine. Klingon knives have two small, angled, side blades that snap out and allow it to cause maximum damage, which is exactly what it did. I am doing everything possible for him, Captain." Archer closed his eyes, unable to bear the pain of hearing how close Trip was to dying. His chances for survival were less than half. He made a decision.

"I'm coming down," said Archer. He didn't wait for Phlox's reply, he didn't care what the doctor had to say about it. Right now he needed to see Trip.

He arrived in sick bay to see one of the biobeds curtained off and he assumed that was where Trip was. He went over to the bed and willed himself to draw back the curtain. He saw Trip lying on the biobed completely motionless, looking more pale than he thought it was possible for any human to look. He had an oxygen mask over his face and several tubes ran into and out of his body. Blood dripped into his arm at a constant slow rate, but Archer knew it was probably too little too late.

Phlox appeared at his side as if from nowhere. "He is on his sixth unit," said Phlox. "Luckily we replenished out blood supply recently, but if this continues then I'll have to start asking the crew for donations."

"You can put me at the top of the list," said Archer.

"I would, if you were the same blood group, but you're B negative, the Commander is O positive," said Phlox. "The problem is that by replacing his blood we are depleting his clotting abilities. I am giving him drugs to help that but it's a constant battle."

Archer nodded, and noticed Trip's hand. "How did that happen?" he asked, "it wasn't from his fight with the Klingon."

"He dropped a glass last night," said Phlox.

"Last night?" asked Archer. Suddenly it dawned on him. "Antonia mentioned she tried to reach him through his dreams. I'm guessing any dreams involving a dead friend can't have been good. How long has he been having trouble sleeping?"

He knew Trip well enough to realise that if something had affected him deeply enough to make him tender his resignation, then it was likely it was also disrupting his sleep. After Elizabeth's death Trip had been plagued by bad dreams. It just hadn't occurred to Archer that this situation would also effect Trip that way. He'd been centred on his own feelings of betrayal and hurt, and his shock at discovering exactly who Trip was. He'd thought that the Trip he knew was just a front that the Engineer had been putting up for the benefit of those around him, but now he wasn't so sure.

"This particular incidence, I am guessing began after Colonel Darwin announced his visit," said Phlox. "He didn't come to me about it until two days ago. T'Pol and he were going to resume their neuropressure sessions."

"This particular incidence?" asked Archer.

"I think I would be betraying patient confidentiality if I told you anymore, Captain," said Phlox.

"How much longer until we know if he's going to make it?" asked Archer.

"It's hard to say, but if he can survive the night then I think he will stand a chance of pulling through," said Phlox.

"I'm staying with him," said Archer. "Whatever happens, I'm going to be here for him this time."

Phlox looked at the obviously worried man in front of him. He doubted that Archer would be able to work productively away from sick bay in any case. "If you wish, but I must ask you to stay out of my way if I need you to. I will get you a chair."

"Thanks, doctor," said Archer, he knew that in theory he was in charge of the ship, but he was under no illusions as to who had command in sick bay. "I'd better call T'Pol and let her know what's going on, her and Trip are pretty close."

Six hours later Archer still sat exactly where Phlox had placed the chair beside Trip's bed. Nothing much had changed, Trip was still in critical condition, except now he had been given several more units of blood. Colonel Darwin had come in to sick bay and he had looked just as worried as Archer felt. After spending a few minutes with Trip he had left, asking to be informed of any change in the Commander's condition. Archer remembered how angry Darwin had looked when Kartok had kicked Trip and Archer realised that the MACO Colonel was very concerned for Trip as a friend and not just one of his Special Projects team.

Phlox had in the end requested volunteers with O positive blood type from the crew to provide more transfusions for Trip. The queue had been out of the sick bay doors and around the corner. Lieutenant Reed had pushed to the front of the line in a very un-British manner, presented his arm to Phlox and told him to take as much blood as he needed. Phlox had admonished Reed for his lack of regard for his own health and taken a single unit, as he did with the other volunteers. Reed however had hung around and made sure that it was his blood that was given to Trip first.

T'Pol, as requested, had brought work for Archer to keep him occupied, but as before, he was finding it hard to concentrate. T'Pol had pulled up a chair, refusing Phlox's attempts to get her to leave, and spent some hours sitting beside Trip as well and had only recently departed to tend to her duties. Archer knew that he was neglecting those same duties but he wasn't going to leave until it became clear that Trip's condition was hopeless. Trip didn't seem to be doing any better, no matter how much blood and drugs Phlox pumped into him.

Phlox came into the main area of sick bay again. "Captain, it has been a long day for you. There is nothing that you can do for the moment so I suggest that you get some sleep."

"Phlox, I'm not going back to my quarters..." said Archer but Phlox stopped him.

"I said nothing about you returning to your quarters, there are plenty of free beds here," said Phlox. "You will not be any good to anyone if you let yourself get overtired."

"I guess you have a point," said Archer. Despite being tired he didn't know if he could sleep, but to please Phlox he took the bed next to Trip's and lay down. He was surprised when Phlox drew back the curtain around Trip's bed a little so that Archer could look across and see Trip. In a way Trip looked very peaceful, almost as if he was simply asleep, not fighting for his life. Reassured by the constant rise and fall of Trip's chest, Archer drifted off to sleep without really noticing what was happening.