Chapter 13: Is she coming home?
Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.
A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews! You guys inspire me to write…so keep on reviewing! 133 reviews…I'm floored. Honestly, guys, you rock. I never expected to get this many reviews, or have this much interest in the story.
Benzbabidoll- yes, the cliffhanger is one of my favorites!
Emily- Thank you so much! Hopefully it will get even better!
Carpanthers21- Cliffhanged again! The evil Skinny5s (a.k.a Kira) I've been trying to keep them true to their personalities…for the most part. Obviously, Ryan is a little more outgoing and talkative because he's been there for a while and is very popular. But thanks!Sis2ACesarSalad- Wow what a long review! Thanks! Yeah, the note…I was going to have them piece it together…but then the chapter just got too long and I forgot. I still might find a way to incorporate it into the story ;) Hmm. You're onto something with the virgin thing, and I'm glad to see that I used the Spanish words correctly, because those are some of the few words I have in my vocabulary, even after 2 years of Spanish. :
Diablo17- I know it was a little boring, and I thank you for not just saying "that was amazing" or whatever. The truth helps me write better. Also, this chapter has a bit more action, so hopefully it will be satisfying.
Iloveben14-Thanks! And you'll have to read on to find out who she picks…
C—Glad you like Frankie. He's not as annoying as Theresa…yet! Just kidding. His role in Marissa's life is going to be different than Theresa's in Ryan's life—lol obviously he's not going to have Marissa's baby…
S—You like the Seth/Summer? Great!! I've been trying to put them into the chapters and add…well, no drama…it's nice to have a constant. But more drama concerning them is going to arise in the future.
Reviewer-I won't make you wait so long…this isn't long is it??
Theresa—Thanks for telling the truth. Honestly, last chapter was kind of a filler, building up to the good stuff. I mean, I can't have Ryan/Marissa fluff in every chapter, then there would be no drama! Lol, I don't know how Marissa could not want Ryan…read on!
Newportbabe44- I am evil…just joshin ya. Lol. Thanks for the long review. Yeah, it made me put up Chapter 13 sooner (Thursday afternoon as opposed to Thursday night…)
Aby- Aw thanks. Read on to find out…
Katieshaz- Thanks. Hope this update was quick enough.
Sleeping-Lisa17-Thanks!
On with the story…
"I—I can't deal with this right now." Marissa closed her eyes.
"Fuck this, Marissa. I came all the way to fucking Chino to get you," Ryan yelled furiously.
"Maybe she doesn't want to be 'got'," Frankie muttered.
The two boys glared defiantly at each other, Seth and Summer awkwardly stood by the window, and Marissa huddled under Frankie's blanket, hoping if she stayed there, they would all go away.
She couldn't deal with this.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Marissa announced, pushing back the covers and hurrying past her friends.
She left the room and went across the hall to the tiny bathroom Frankie shared with his younger sister, Nuria, and older brother, Miguel. After hearing the lock click, Marissa opened the cabinet underneath the sink and rooted around until she found what she was looking for.
The silver blades reflected off the mirror. Sighing, Marissa sat down on the closed toilet seat and rolled up the sleeve of her sweatshirt. In one fluid motion she dug into her skin. It stung, just a little bit. She dug deeper, feeling the satisfaction of numbness overcome her. Marissa pulled her dark jeans to her ankles. She made three short marks on her right thigh. For some reason, she always got more satisfaction from her left thigh.
Without thinking, Marissa began to carve into her left thigh. She shuddered as the blood dripped slowly down her leg, tickling her flesh.
Once she felt no more, Marissa turned on the faucet and washed the remnants of her cutting spree away. She studied her wrist. She hadn't cut deep enough for the blood to be gushing, so, with a pat of a tissue, Marissa rolled down her sleeve. Hopefully her blood wouldn't soak through. She saw the blood just underneath the surface on her right leg. On her left leg, she was shocked and fell back against the wall when she saw her handiwork. It was probably the combined loss of blood and pain and the shock that did this.
For on her left thigh, Marissa had carved the letter R.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
Marissa had lost control. She didn't remember carving the R. She didn't remember. And that scared her, sometimes.
She'd cut deep enough into her skin on this leg. The blood was seeping out of the corners of the letter. Marissa bit her lip, willing herself not to cry.
She never cried. She never felt. Before now…
In Frankie's room, there was an uncomfortable silence. Seth had attempted to make small talk and jokes but Summer and Ryan's combined looks of death stopped him. They heard a loud thud through the paper-thin walls.
"What was that?" Summer asked suspiciously. It hadn't sounded like a gunshot…but in Chino, you never knew.
"I think it came from the bathroom," Frankie said, and the four of them squeezed out of his room. Frankie turned the doorknob, but it was locked. "She's locked it."
From the other side of the door, Marissa could hear them pounding and banging. Why couldn't they leave her alone? She needed to do this, by herself. If they knew, they wouldn't let her. And she needed to do it.
She pulled up her pants, sobbing softly. Her sweatshirt hung down past her thighs, so any leakage would be concealed. And she could always blame it on her period. Even though she hadn't gotten it in over four months. They didn't know…they didn't have to know…they couldn't know.
"One second," Marissa called, washing her hands and replacing the cleaned razor under the sink.
"What do you think she was doing in there?" Seth asked Summer.
"I don't know," Summer shrugged. "But I think she fell or something."
Ryan suspected it was or something. Something was not right with Marissa. He wanted to help her, he wanted to save her. He wanted to hold her in his arms and assure her that everything would be all right.
They heard the lock click, and Marissa opened the door. She looked as though she'd been crying a little, and her sweatshirt was draped loosely over her body.
"Are you okay?" Summer asked, putting her arm around Marissa. Marissa sniffed, nodded, and let Summer lead her back into Frankie's room. Seth, Ryan, and Frankie followed.
Mrs. Ramirez, oblivious to the commotion, walked in a moment later with a tray. "Who wants cookies?"
"Ma," Frankie groaned, but happily took a cookie. "Thanks."
"Thank you, Mrs. Ramirez," Marissa managed to squeak. The old woman smiled and left the tray on the bed. Once she had gone, Summer turned to Marissa.
"Please come back."
Marissa shrugged. "Why should I?"
"For me." Ryan offered a small smile to Marissa.
"For me." Summer patted her on the back.
"For me." Seth grinned.
"You know you can stay here as long as you want," Frankie cut in. Summer rolled her eyes at him. "What?" he asked. "She obviously wants to be here. With me."
"She doesn't want to stay here," said Summer.
"Yeah, she does. Why else would she have come here?" Frankie challenged.
"No, she doesn't," Summer spat back.
Frankie opened his mouth, but it was Marissa's tired voice they heard. "Will you two stop it? Did anyone think to ask me what I wanted, instead of assuming it?"
"What do you want, Marissa?" Seth asked.
"Thanks, Seth." Marissa smiled warmly at Seth. "I don't know what I want. But I think coming here might have been a mistake."
"But…" Frankie said, shocked.
"I wasn't done. Frankie, you're my best friend. But I can't stay here and impose on your family. Your mom's got three kids, two jobs, and no husband. I can't do that to her."
Ryan tried hard not to smile smugly at Frankie, you're my best friend. But it was hard. Because that meant she didn't like Frankie…at least not enough to consider staying here with him.
"We'd make it work." The poor guy wanted Marissa with him so much.
"I can't…" Marissa said apologetically. "I'm sorry, Frankie."
Seth tentatively took a cookie off the tray. He bit into it, crunching loudly. "Mm, these cookies are good."
"Seth." Summer hit him on the arm. "So, Marissa, where's your stuff?"
"In the kitchen. Will you get it, Sum?" Summer nodded and pulled Seth out of the room with her.
"Um, Ryan?" Marissa said. "Can you leave me alone with Frankie for a minute?"
"Sure," Ryan answered, walking past Frankie.
Frankie whispered threateningly in Ryan's ear, "You fuck with her man…I swear. You better watch your back."
Ryan's fists were itching to connect with Frankie's face, but he controlled himself.
He paused at the doorway, hearing Marissa begin to talk to Frankie.
"Frankie, don't look at me like that."
"I thought you wanted to be here. Why the fuck did you come here? So you could flaunt yourself to me, show me what I want but can't seem to get?"
"I don't need this shit, Frankie. You cheated on me. I don't know why I even came here, it was a big mistake."
Marissa brushed by Frankie, tears clouding her eyes. She shouldered him angrily and walked straight into Ryan's arms. He lurched back from the contact, and then wrapped his arms around her.
They walked into the kitchen, where Seth was eating something and Summer was politely sipping her Diet Coke. They were both talking animatedly with Mrs. Ramirez, who was stirring something simmering in a pot on the stove.
"It was good to see you, Mrs. Ramirez," Marissa called out. "Carmen."
Mrs. Ramirez smiled. "Hija, come by anytime. Frankie's always happy to see you. You and these friends. Bring your friends." She pinched Seth's cheek lovingly.
Marissa wanted to tell her that Frankie probably wouldn't give her a warm welcome anytime soon. But she supposed Mrs. Ramirez and Frankie would be having a long talk after she left.
"Let's go." Ryan was tight-lipped. "Bye Mrs. Ramirez. Thank you."
She smiled as Seth and Summer hugged her. "Come visit soon!"
Once the four were safely in the Range Rover, Marissa found her voice.
"Thanks, guys. For coming. I mean it. I guess it was stupid of me to think I could just run away…thanks for giving me something to come home to."
"I shouldn't have bitched at you like that," Summer admitted.
"She can't help it, though," Seth cut in. "It grows on you, after a while."
"Shut up. I'm more than willing to place a sex ban if you keep it up."
"Please, no, for the love of God," Ryan groaned. Marissa was confused. Ryan turned to her, and explained, "Last time she placed a sex ban on Seth, he drove me crazy. And he wouldn't stop sending her gifts, inviting her over…it was a nightmare."
"Hey," said Summer sharply. "If you don't shut up, it's going to be no sex for a month."
"No skin off my back," Ryan muttered, and Marissa laughed.
Seth and Summer began to squabble, and got caught up in their own world.
"Ryan," Marissa began.
"Wait," Ryan interrupted. "Before you say anything…just tell me, do you like, I mean, are you in love with Frankie?"
Marissa was silent for a moment. "Mar—"
She cut Ryan off with her smooth lips. They kissed hungrily, as though they hadn't eaten in a long time, and couldn't get enough of each other. Ryan broke away when a few cars honked impatiently. He was holding up the road.
"Does it seem like I love Frankie?" Marissa asked innocently, as Ryan tried to focus his eyes on the road. When they reached the stoplight, Ryan leaned over and left feathery kisses on Marissa's neck.
She was beginning to feel a bit light-headed, a probable effect of three sharp blades and Ryan's kisses.
"I'm tired," Marissa whispered. Ryan kissed her on the head.
"Go to sleep, Marissa. I'll wake you up when we get home."
Marissa liked that. Home. She had a place to call home. She drifted off to the soothing feel of wet liquid against her wrist.
Marissa's body was shaking uncontrollably. Tears streamed down her face, and she whimpered occasionally.
"Marissa, wake up," Ryan shook the crying girl. Beside her, Summer was nervously digging her nails into Seth's arm.
She couldn't fight it anymore…they were too powerful. The demons were out to get her, she couldn't stop them. They were coming closer and closer, hauntingly tantalizing, reaching out to her, but she couldn't…she didn't fight them off.
"Stop it!" she screamed, and with one final shudder sat right up.
"Marissa, what's wrong? You were, like, trapped in your nightmare," said Summer. Ryan put his arms around Marissa's waist. "We tried to wake you as soon as we got here, but you wouldn't wake up."
Marissa looked around, she was still in the Range Rover, which was parked in the driveway of Summer's house. She shivered in the California sun.
"Let's go inside. I'm starving," Seth said, starting to walk up the path to the front door. Summer followed suit.
Ryan scooped Marissa into his arms and followed Seth and Summer into the house. He kissed her on the head. "Do you want to go out tonight? Oh, and your jeans are a little damp."
Marissa remembered the R she'd unknowingly carved into her thigh, letting it bleed a deep crimson. Was this a sign? She had no control…did that mean they were meant to be? "Okay," she replied. "I spilled tea on them earlier when Mrs. Ramirez gave me some lunch," she explained, careful not to use Frankie's name. She wanted to focus on Ryan, Ryan, and Ryan, she couldn't get enough, now that they were finally together.
They could hear voices coming from the kitchen that did not belong to Summer and Seth only. Marissa saw Ashley and Neil talking with Seth and Summer.
"How was the trip?" Marissa asked, as Ryan set her down.
"Absolutely fantastic," Neil replied. "In fact, we're only home until tomorrow night. We're going back. Ash wanted to get more clothes, and leave all the stuff she bought."
"Cool." Marissa now understood part of the reason Summer wanted her back in Newport. The elder Roberts were never home, and naturally Summer got very lonely. And it wasn't as though Seth could spend the night every night.
"So Ryan and I are going out tonight." Marissa announced.
Ashley scrunched her surgically enhanced nose. "Aren't you dating Grace?"
"I was…" Ryan answered, "but not anymore." He smiled at Marissa. "I wanted to explore my other options."
"How nice." Neil slung his arm around Summer. "But I wanted to take the girls out for dinner tonight. Marissa will come over after, though."
"Okay. That's fine," Ryan said, with a twinge of disappointment in his voice.
"We should really get going," Seth said, kissing Summer on the cheek. Ryan followed suit with Marissa. "Bye, Mr. Roberts, Mrs. Roberts."
"Goodbye, Seth," Neil said, slapping the boy on the back. "Ryan."
After the boys left, he added, "Those are some nice boys. I don't know Ryan well but Seth is a great catch, Summer."
"Thanks, Dad." Summer couldn't hide the pride in her voice.
"Girls, I picked up a few things for you on our vacation. They're upstairs in your rooms," Ashley told Summer and Marissa.
"Thanks, Ash," Summer smiled, and then turned and ran out of the kitchen. They could hear her running up the stairs. Marissa thanked Ashley and followed Summer.
Marissa opened the door to the guest room…rather, her room. She wondered if Summer would actually get it decorated for Marissa. She'd ask Summer later.
Ashley had picked up a few outfits—translate, several thousand dollars worth—on the trip, and Marissa found her bedspread buried in designer clothes. She sighed, and disappeared into her bathroom to shower. When she was finished, she scooped the first dress off her bed and changed into it. A light blue drop-waisted tube dress, it had a small slit at the top.
Heading back into the bathroom, Marissa checked her wrist. It wasn't too bad, if anyone asked questions she'd say she scraped it by accident. Or something.
Marissa let her hair air dry into its wavy state. She loosely pinned the sides back with a gold barrette lying on her dresser. Four boxes of shoes also lay on the bed, and Marissa found a fancy white sandal-type shoe that complemented her dress.
"Summer, Marissa. Let's go!" Neil shouted from downstairs. Sans purse, Marissa turned the light off and knocked on Summer's bedroom door. Summer was wearing a pale pink halter top and a black pleated skirt with a chain hanging on it. She was teetering in high black Manolos that laced up her legs. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, and she was clutching a black quilted Chanel purse.
"You look great, Summer," said Marissa. It was true. The girl was dressed to kill.
Summer looked at Marissa. "Look at you! You look gorgeous."
"Thanks," Marissa replied, somewhat bashfully. The only time she'd ever been told she was gorgeous was by guys, and only when they wanted to get laid. Which, in retrospect, had nearly always happened. Marissa shook her head. Now was not the time to regret her past.
"Where's your purse?" Summer eyed Marissa arm. Marissa crossed her arms so Summer couldn't see the cuts on her skin. The less attention Marissa brought to her arms, the better.
"I don't have one," Marissa shrugged. Summer's jaw dropped, and she disappeared into her bedroom, returning with a light blue evening purse. It was shaped like a bow, and Marissa didn't think its purpose was to hold more than a credit card, cell phone, and lip-gloss. "Thanks."
"No problem. We'll have to go buy you some essentials," Summer winked.
"I suppose you girls want to go over to Seth and Ryan's house already." Neil Roberts checked his watch.
Marissa and Summer exchanged glances.
"Go on!" Neil said. Summer kissed her father giddily and pecked her stepmom on both cheeks. Marissa hugged both of them in lieu of kisses. They weren't her parents…she didn't feel a connection with them. At least not yet. Hopefully she'd be staying with them for a while.
Summer and Marissa had taken a separate car, so that once dinner was over they could head on over to the Cohen house. Summer put the key in the ignition and drove away.
"Hello, girls." Kirsten Cohen was holding a pair of chopsticks in hand. She opened the door widely so Summer and Marissa could come in. "Seth's attempting to teach me how to use these." She held out the chopsticks. "Unfortunately, I think it's hopeless."
Marissa giggled, following Kirsten into the kitchen. Ryan was looking bored, Sandy was telling a joke, and Seth was trying to tell a joke too.
"Summer, you look lovely. And Marissa, you look beautiful too," Sandy stopped midway through his joke.
"Thanks Mr. Cohen," both girls replied in unison.
"So why'd you come to see these two bozos?" Sandy grinned, laughing at his own joke.
"Hilarious, dad. Really." Seth turned to Summer. "Ah, but you're right. Summer does look lovely."
Ryan wiped his mouth on a white cloth napkin. "I'm done. Want to go outside?" he asked Marissa.
She nodded and accepted the hand he held out to her. They walked through the dining room out onto the patio.
"You look amazing," he told her.
"Thanks," she replied, kissing him on the lips. Ryan held the kiss until both he and Marissa were struggling to breathe.
"You take my breath away, you know that?"
Marissa laughed. "King of the corny pick up lines."
"Yeah," Ryan leaned in, "But it worked, didn't it?"
Yes, it did. Marissa's lips met Ryan's for a second time. She'd never experienced anything like this. Those fireworks people in love talked about, she finally saw them. And this was their first date. Sure, they'd kissed, but now it was almost as though they were kissing for the first time.
It was special. And of course, all special moments had to be interrupted. A bright light blinded Marissa as she opened her eyes. Was that the moon?
"PDA Police," Summer shouted, as she and Seth jumped out from behind a pool chair.
"PDA?" Marissa asked, raising her eyebrows. How long had Seth and Summer been watching…how long had she and Ryan been kissing?
"Public display of affection," Seth answered.
"You're real funny, you know that Seth?" Ryan said sarcastically. "Ah, screw them," he turned to Marissa and gently sucked on her bottom lip, before moving inside. His tongue sent a spark through Marissa every time it touched hers.
Marissa heard the sound of Seth and Summer fighting over who got to hold the flashlight, and whether PDA was okay or not. She heard a loud splash, and the next second Summer was shrieking, "You're going to pay for this Cohen!"
Marissa and Ryan turned around and saw Summer flailing in the pool. Seth leaned down to help her, and instead she pulled him in. Ryan and Marissa recoiled, not wanting to get wet.
But Ryan had other plans. With Marissa still wrapped in his arms he lunged himself at the pool, sending the two of them splashing into the water.
"Ohmigod!" Summer gasped, "My Manolos!"
Kirsten and Sandy came out and saw Ryan and Marissa pushing each other in the water. Seth and Summer were splashing as well. Well, Seth was splashing, Summer was whining. She pulled off the water-logged shoes with some effort.
"Summer!" Kirsten scolded, "Are those Manolos?"
Summer nodded faintly. "It's your son's fault," she explained. "He pushed me in."
"Seth." Kirsten clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "These are Manolos." She waved the dripping shoes in the air.
"I didn't tell Summer to buy them, or wear them," Seth said, and received a slap from Summer, who then dunked Seth. Seth came up spluttering.
"Don't stay in too long," Sandy warned, before heading back into the house. Kirsten took Summer's other shoe and stalked back into the house. "Kids these days…"
Later, Ryan and Marissa were up in his room, drying off. Ryan came out of his bathroom with two large, fluffy white towels. He dropped one on the floor and wrapped a shivering Marissa in the other.
"Do you want a sweatshirt?" he asked, rubbing her arms. Marissa tried to ignore the tiny pinch of pain that jolted through her arm whenever Ryan rubbed below her elbow.
"No. Can I borrow one of your tank tops so I can look as cool as you?"
Ryan grinned and planted a sweet, light kiss on Marissa's collarbone before opening a drawer and pulling out a wifebeater. He tossed it to Marissa, then took another one out for himself.
Marissa stood under the warmth of the towel for a minute, watching Ryan change. He pulled his t-shirt off and revealed a set of well defined abs. He was tan and muscular, and…oh, Marissa mind was wandering. Ryan finished changing, and saw Marissa staring at him.
She smiled. "Can you unzip my dress?" He unzipped it and Marissa slipped it off. She wasn't wearing a bra and all that covered her lean body was a skimpy thong.
"Now, this is a much better view than before," Ryan said, slipping his arms around Marissa. She hurriedly pulled the tank top over her head so Ryan wouldn't notice the gashes on her thighs and collapsed on the bed with Ryan. Luckily, the wifebeater hung past her thighs, and Ryan didn't seem to notice anyway.
They began to kiss passionately, with sighs and moans of content every now and then. Marissa wasn't sure if she was moaning or if it was Ryan. A knock at the door, but neither of the hormone-ridden teens heard it.
Seth opened the door and saw Ryan and Marissa making out.
"See? I told you," he called back to Summer. "This is why they've been so quiet."
He stepped into the room, followed by Summer, and it took three clearings of their throats for Ryan and Marissa to look up.
"Um, hi. Wow," Seth mumbled. "Marissa's in her…um, is it underwear?"
"Cohen!" Summer hit him. "Stop staring."
He covered his eyes with his hands. "Tell me when it's safe to come out," he called cheerfully.
Ryan grabbed a pair of plaid boxers from his drawer and handed them to Marissa. She quickly slipped them on.
Summer and Marissa began to talk animatedly about some funny thing that had happened at dinner. Seth's eyes were still covered. Ryan pointed to Seth, and mouthed Should we tell him yet, to Summer. Summer shook her head and began to walk out of Ryan's room, putting her finger to her lips. Ryan and Marissa crept out quietly as well, leaving Seth with his eyes covered.
"Is she decent? Guys? GUYS!"
A/N: Wow, really long chapter. I hope you liked it. I wanted a bit more of Marissa's past with her, and a bit more r/m quality time. Hopefully it was enjoyable. Review, please!