Chapter 15: Why are things so complicated?
Disclaimer: I don't own the O.C. or its characters. All I own is my piece of the story line, which has been done…too many times to count.
A/N: As always, thanks for reviewing. Next chapter I'll do individual thank you's. But you guys are the best, in case you didn't know it! Keep it up!
Marissa didn't spot Ryan until lunch. He was sitting with Rocky, John, Eric, and a few other guys she'd seen around but didn't know by name.
"Ryan," she said, walking over to the table.
"Hey." Ryan's face lit up but his voice remained monotonous.
"Can we talk?" Marissa asked, smiling at the other boys who were saying hi to her. And checking her out as well.
"Sure," Ryan replied, leaving his tray on the table and muttering something to the guys. He put his hands in his pockets and followed Marissa. They sat out under a tree on the quad, surrounded by groups of students eating lunch, laughing, and gossiping. Even with all the chaos around them, Marissa and Ryan would be able to talk uninterrupted.
"I should've believed you," Marissa began, when they'd gotten situated under the tree. Ryan's shoulder was touching Marissa's and she could feel a jolt of electricity running through her body from where they touched. She subtly inched her body closer to his.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry," Marissa said, and turned so her face was mere inches away from Ryan's. "Do you forgive me?"
Ryan kissed Marissa on the lips, tasting her cherry lip-gloss and gently exploring the confines of her mouth. She was so smooth and glossy and delicate, he was afraid he'd damage her. Marissa intensified the kiss, cupping Ryan's face in her hand and attacking his mouth.
"I didn't take you to be the aggressive type," Ryan grinned, pulling away from Marissa. It was hard to do, quite honestly. He leaned back in and let Marissa take over. Things were good.
--
Grace spotted Leah and Nikki, two of her closer friends, eating lunch together. She hurried over to the table and set her tray down. It was laden with fruit salad, a Greek salad, and a bottle of water.
"Hey," she smiled ignoring the cold looks she received in return. "Are we still on for this afternoon?"
Nikki and Leah exchanged a look. "Actually, Grace," Nikki said coolly, "Leah and I have plans. Something came up." Leah smiled sweetly at Grace and stood up.
"Come on, Nikki, we've got to go," Leah said. "Bye, Grace."
The two girls hurried off, heads close together. They were already laughing and whispering about Grace, no doubt. Grace sat at their table alone, wondering what could've possibly come up. And then she knew. She'd seen Nikki and the girls talking with Marissa yesterday.
Marissa.
She was invading Grace's perfect, or at least seemingly perfect life. First she'd taken Ryan, and Summer, who was supposed to be Grace's best friend. Not to mention that Ryan had been her boyfriend for ages. And they were supposed to be together…forever. Now, she was moving on to Grace's friends, the superficial girls she ruled the school with. Life was so not fair. And it was so not supposed to be like this. She wasn't supposed to become the outcast. Never…it was all Marissa's fault.
Grace would get her back, get her good, make her wish she'd never set foot in Newport. It was Grace's throne after all, she couldn't be threatened or bothered by a lowly servant from Chino.
The first item on the agenda would be to break Ryan and Marissa up, since that obviously hadn't worked. Ryan was so upset that Marissa was mad at him, and they were probably making up—and out—right about now.
--
"Marissa, wait up," Grace called, her Prada Mary-Jane's tapping on the linoleum floor. Marissa turned around, almost at the end of the hallway, getting ready to enter a classroom.
Marissa waited while Grace clicked her heels along the floor. "I think we've both got that special Health class today," Grace groaned, trying to play the part of friend to Marissa.
"Yeah." Marissa seemed undecided on whether or not she should be nice to Grace. Apparently she'd decided on neutral. "I think it starts in a minute or so."
Grace couldn't help but notice Marissa's new clothes. They looked like they didn't quite fit right; she wasn't accustomed to wearing expensive clothes, and the clothes were obviously not used to being worn by a girl like her. They didn't look bad…Marissa just looked out of place in them.
Still, Marissa was pretty—there was no doubt about it. And she was thin, thin enough and tall enough to be a model. She definitely could've been one. Grace had always secretly wanted to be a model, but she would never be tall enough, nor did she have that classical look to her.
The two girls sat down in the back of the room, while their classmates chattered excitedly before class started. A short, stout woman with curly red hair came into the classroom, wearing a dark suit and carrying a tote bag.
"Girls, please." The woman called for quiet. "I'm Miss Roster and I'll be teaching this Health class. Every day for the next week and a half I'll be here to answer your questions and ask you some as well."
Grace raised her hand. Since Ryan was there, she could at least spread some rumors around. "What should we do if we think a friend might be pregnant?" she asked, looking at Marissa.
"I would first of all ask the friend, because only she would know for sure if she was pregnant. Then, I guess you would tell an adult, her parents maybe, if she wouldn't. It's a serious matter that shouldn't be kept secret," Miss Roster answered. The girls looked at Grace, who was smiling at Marissa.
"Thank you, Miss Roster, I'll talk to her after class," she said, still looking at Marissa. The other girls stared at Marissa and began to whisper among themselves.
A tall girl who rivaled Marissa in absence of a waist walked up to Marissa after class. "I'm Julie," she extended her slender hand, "And I just wanted to say I'm here for you if you need anything. And I'll get my boyfriend to beat up whoever knocked you up, if you want."
"Thanks," Marissa said, completely and utterly confused. "But I'm not pregnant."
Julie's hazel eyes with specks of green in them opened wide. "You're not? But Grace…she said—"
"Do you believe everything Grace says?" Marissa asked coolly, knowing her point had been made. "Can you really trust her?"
Julie considered this, then broke out into a huge grin. "You're totally right," she declared, "I bet Grace is just jealous because you got Ryan. Who, by the way, is totally hot."
"Thanks…Julie, right?" Marissa said, smiling.
"Yeah. So I'll see you around?" Julie tucked a lock of her pale blond hair behind her ear and walked away.
Grace was standing behind Marissa, out of sight. She'd heard the whole conversation, and, quite frankly, was furious. It wasn't fair that Marissa was getting lucky like that. And why were Grace's friends turning against her?
"Hey Marissa." Grace sidled up next to the girl, who had rolled up her sleeves and was running fingers over bruised red wrists. "What happened?" She innocently pointed to Marissa's arms.
Embarrassed, Marissa quickly pulled her sleeves down. "I fell down the stairs," she offered. But Grace knew the girl was lying. It was so obvious.
"Oh." Grace put her hand on her hip. "So, I'm guessing you heard that Ryan and I are partners for the egg-baby project."
"Yeah," Marissa smiled faintly. She was a little dizzy. Maybe it was the fresh wound she'd created on her leg in between 1st and 2nd period.
"We're actually going out tonight. Ryan says it's to work on the project, but we both know better." Grace winked at the girl. Marissa's eyes flared.
"Really?" Suddenly alert, Marissa leaned in towards Grace. "Well…have fun, I guess."
"I will," Grace smiled knowingly. "I'll call you and tell you all about it, if I'm not out too late. The pier's so beautiful at night…"
Marissa nodded and quickly hurried away. So Ryan had lied to her. It was one big, fat lie after another. She wondered what else he'd been lying about, if he'd told her the truth about anything.
--
"Where are you going?" Summer asked Marissa, twirling lo-mein around her silver fork. Marissa was dressed in a ratty sweatshirt and jeans that looked so old they couldn't even be classified as vintage.
"I want to take a walk on the beach," Marissa said. She walked out of the living room and into the kitchen, opening Ashley's liquor cabinet and taking out a bottle of tequila. The woman wouldn't notice if some was missing…at least Marissa hoped not. She'd stumbled upon the cabinet earlier in the day, and had already used it twice.
"Where'd you get those clothes?" Summer called from the other room. Marissa could picture her cousin wrinkling her nose in disgust.
"They're mine," Marissa replied. She felt most comfortable in her own clothes, they were like a second skin to her. Summer's fancy clothes made her uncomfortable, nervous that she'd ruin them. She didn't need, or deserve clothes like that. It made Marissa sick to think of how much a simple tank top cost in Summer's world. Probably more than the price of three tank tops Marissa would buy.
"Oh," Summer said. "Well, have fun."
Marissa let herself out of the house, but not before she took a few more generous swigs of the tequila. Don Julio's, it was fancier and Marissa assumed it would be pricier than the stuff she drank, but it was good nonetheless.
She got into Summer's car and sped off to the pier, driving a bit faster than she should've, especially in her already tipsy condition. When Marissa arrived at the pier she parked and walked onto the beach in the direction of a large, dancing bonfire. A bunch of guys were laughing and drinking.
They all turned around when she walked by. "Hey," Marissa said. She hadn't seen the boys at Harbor before.
"You want something to drink?" one of the guys, a tall kid with light brown hair, asked Marissa. She accepted his cup and chugged it. The guys cheered when she was done.
"What's your name?" another brown haired boy asked.
"Marissa," she told them. The first boy refilled her cup, and she quickly got to finishing it. "What is this?"
"Banana rum and coke," the second boy answered. Marissa sipped it, wincing slightly at the sweet, syrupy rum. It was good, anything was good, anything to get her mind off of Ryan and…that skank.
After an hour, Marissa was almost ready to pass out. She got the guys' numbers written on her arms and stomach. They went to Palisades, so that explained why she hadn't recognized them. She lurched up the stairs onto the pier, and headed towards the Crab Shack. She pulled open the door and immediately spotted Grace and Ryan in the crowded restaurant.
Unfortunately, Grace saw Marissa before Ryan did, and leaned across the table and kissed Ryan. Caught off guard, Ryan kissed Grace back. Marissa saw Ryan, his eyes closed, he seemed to be enjoying the kiss. Very much enjoying it. Hot tears sprung to her eyes and she let out a small yelp.
Ryan opened his eyes and realized who he'd been kissing. Grace. All the while he'd been thinking of kissing Marissa. He heard a small cry and saw Marissa standing by the door, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Marissa," Ryan shouted, standing up. She shook her head at him and ran out of the door.
"Ryan." Grace put her hand on Ryan's. "Let her go. I'm here."
"You're here, but I should be there," Ryan snapped. "I'll see you in school." He quickly strode towards the door.
"Bye, honey. I'll see you later," Grace called after Ryan, while all the other patrons stared disbelievingly at her. She glared at a few of them and they soon turned their attention back to their meals.
Grace sat alone at the table until the waiter came back. "Check, please," she sighed.
Ryan looked from one side of the pier to the other, but there was no Marissa. He took the steps down to the beach two by two, and saw a large bonfire with a group of guys gathered around it.
"You seen a tall, skinny girl named Marissa?" he asked a brown haired boy who was drinking from a plastic yellow cup.
"Nah…she was here earlier, like, hours ago, man," the boy replied, sipping his drink slowly. He was obviously already wasted, and having trouble not spilling the drink. "If she comes back I'll let her know you came…"
"I'm Ryan," Ryan said. "Thanks, man."
He walked back up the stairs, disappointed. Ryan didn't know what Grace had said to Marissa before, but she'd ignored him at the end of the day and didn't answer the phone when he'd tried calling her. All Ryan wanted to do was make things right with Marissa. He really liked her, cared about her.
--
"Seth," Summer pursed her lips nervously. "I have to tell you something, but don't tell anyone, okay?"
"Of course, baby. What's bothering you?" Seth kissed his girlfriend's forehead. She was so beautiful. He would make it all right. Anything. No matter what it was, Seth would fix it for Summer.
"It's Marissa…"
"Is she okay?" Seth asked. Marissa hadn't been in school for a few days. Not since the day she'd seen Grace and Ryan at the Crab Shack. Seth had heard about the fiasco from Ryan.
"Not really," Summer admitted. "I think she's been drinking. I checked my stepmom's liquor cabinet the other day and a lot was missing. My parents aren't even home and I certainly don't drink…at least not during the school week."
Seth put his hand over his mouth. "Have you talked to her about it? Sum, this is serious. You've got to tell someone, or talk to her."
"No, Seth," Summer pleaded with Seth, putting her hands against his chest. "Don't tell anyone, please. I'll talk to her. It's just kind of hard because she's locked herself in her room."
"Okay," Seth said. But of course he had to tell someone in turn…
"So don't tell Summer I told you, okay?" Seth said to Ryan. They were in the student lounge by the Ms. Pacman machine.
"I won't," Ryan promised. Seth expertly maneuvered the joystick on the machine. "But I've got to see her. At least try to help her and make her forgive me. Nothing's going right with her."
"I know it's hard, man." Seth patted Ryan on the back while he advanced to the next level of the game. "Look, I'm going to the skate park tomorrow after school so why don't you give Summer a ride home…how does that sound? That way, you can talk to Marissa."
"Good idea."
"Yeah…shut up, I need my concentration."
--
"Hey Summer, get in." Ryan rolled down the window of the Range Rover in front of Summer, who was talking with Nikki and Nikki's boyfriend Alex.
"I'm waiting for Seth," Summer said. She was wearing a bright yellow zip up jacket and a barely there ruffled white skirt. Ryan had to admit, she looked pretty good.
"No, you're not. Seth went to the skate park with a few friends," Ryan told Summer. "Get in."
Summer bid Nikki and Alex goodbye and got in the passenger seat. "Are we going to your house? Because I'm starved and there's, like, no food at my house."
Ryan shook his head. "I want to see Marissa. So we're going to your house."
Summer stiffened. "No…Marissa's sick," she insisted, "she won't come out of her room."
"Well then I'd better see that she's okay. I know she's mad at me, Summer, but I need to see her. And make things alright again."
"Fine," Summer shrugged, "But if she gets mad, I had nothing to do with it."
They pulled up to Summer's house ten minutes later. Traffic had surprisingly been light. Ryan turned off the car and followed Summer into the house. He set his backpack down on the kitchen table and went upstairs.
Knocking sharply on Marissa's closed bedroom door, Ryan pressed his ear against the door. He didn't hear anything, and tried the doorknob. It was locked and didn't budge. Ryan reached into his pocket and took out his wallet, and got a credit card out. He slid it on the side of the door and it opened. Snazzy. He'd learned the trick when he was nine. It was sad, but really came in handy sometimes.
"Marissa?" Ryan called out, opening the door. The covers on her bed were all tangled, and Marissa was clearly not in them. He heard a soft sobbing coming from the bathroom. Gray-white light was filtering in through the closed curtains in Marissa's room, casting an eerie shadow across Ryan's face. He walked into the bathroom and saw Marissa on the floor, leaning up against the toilet.
Her face was deathly pale, and she had a razor in hand. A bottle of Jack Daniel's rested on the tiled floor. There was a fresh trail of blood surrounding her.
"Marissa," Ryan began to panic. "Oh, my God."
He crouched down and looked Marissa in the eyes. She was still breathing, he could feel her faint breath upon his face and smell the strong whiskey.
"Say something," he urged. "Anything!"
Fear in her eyes, Marissa sat there, motionless. Ryan began to shake her. "Marissa, let me know you're okay. Don't do this…don't do this…"
He was close to tears by now. This was his entire fault, sort of. He should've seen this coming. Ryan wanted anything but Marissa to hurt herself. She didn't deserve this. She didn't need to do this. She had him…then Ryan remembered. He'd betrayed her, or at least that's how it had seemed.
"Why are you doing this?" Ryan screamed. He could hear Summer's footsteps coming closer to the bedroom, her shouts worrisome.
"Ryan," Marissa whispered, closing her eyes. Ryan kissed her on the forehead and wrapped his arms around her.
He'd help her…he had to. Ryan didn't want to lose possibly the best thing that had happened to him in a while.
Marissa.
She went limp in Ryan's arms, and he knew that she'd passed out, probably from combined blood loss and too much alcohol.
"I think…I…love…you," Ryan murmured, closing his eyes and holding Marissa close to his heart.
A/N: Haha, I'm so evil to leave it there. I hope this chapter was enjoyable. Please review. Next chapter is good, I already have chapter 17 planned out too. I should have 16 up by Wednesday night, so be on the lookout for it!