It's My Life
**Chapter 17: Not Good Enough
A/N: Chapter 17. I hope you're happy that it's not as late as the last two
chapters were. Thank Jon for that. He forced me under pain of death and exile
to write this chapter quickly. I should get some law against him and sue him or
something. Hope you enjoy this chapter, too. ^_^ Reviews and flames are welcome,
by the way. Reviews are VERY welcome.
EXTREMELY welcome. DEAR GOD PLEASE REVIEW ;_;
(Thinking is still between ~ and ~. One "~" also divides between memories and
another between the present.)
~*~
Not good enough.
"Good...but just not quite good enough."
Not good enough.
It had always been her life's story. Always. Everything she did. "Good...but not
quite good enough." Always in everything.
Why? Why was everything this way? Always and forever, she just wasn't good
enough.
Not quite good enough...
"Dammit Dawn, you had a good try at this game... And you did well indeed... But as
you can see..."
It was one of Dawn's soccer games. She had been on her high school's soccer
team, and their main defender. Her coach was outlining to her what had just
happened in the last play.
"...it was just not quite good enough."
"Great job, Dawn," snapped another team member. "Now we won't get the Cup."
~
~Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.~ Dawn hurriedly put her shirt back on, quailing
under her dad's glare.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, DAWN?!?" her father roared. "I CAN'T
BELIEVE YOU'RE _SLEEPING_ WITH THIS-THIS-"
"Dad, calm down!" Dawn screeched at him. Jack, setting his pants
straight, tried to say that they weren't having sex (yet), but Dawn's dad
wasn't hearing any of it.
"MY GOD, DAWN! WHY WOULD YOU GO DO SUCH A THING LIKE THIS!?"
~WHY NOW? WHY!?!?~ Aloud, she said, "Dad, please! I'm a grown woman!"
"GROWN WOMAN!? Don't you talk to me like that!" He was almost exploding with
rage. His face had gone a dark, dark purple. "YOU'RE ONLY TWENTY YEARS OLD!"
"What's going on in h--Oh." Diana had walked into the room, looking distinctly
ruffled for an unapparent reason.
Dawn sighed. ~HOW ELSE CAN THIS GO WRONG!?~
~
"Still not quite good enough."
The smart girl was smirking darkly. She had beaten Dawn to it - she had made
the curve. She had set the record in the class. She had beaten Dawn to the
next level. Dawn had almost made it. Dawn had almost risen up too. And Dawn
had been so close...
"You just weren't good enough," she said, laughingly as she headed off to her
new honors class, with her new course schedule.
Dawn looked down at her course schedule, her mediocre schedule.
~
And she smirked. Diana smirked. She obviously knew, as well, what Dawn's dad was
going to do. She always knew. Hell, she was directing the man.
"Dawn..."
Dawn swiftly glanced at her father. Diana said nothing, but surveyed the scene
with one eyebrow raised, and one side of her lips smiling that malice-filled,
yet serene, smirk. Michael was still purple, but his rage seemed to be beyond
loud words now.
"Sir, I really can explain -" began Jack. Dawn silenced him with a look.
"I'm taking the farm away, Dawn."
"WHAT!?!? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!" Dawn exploded. Something snapped in her. He
couldn't. He COULDN'T. He had absolutely no right. No right whatsoever. Hell,
he could TRY to haul her off to that smoggy clogged-up city but he wouldn't take
her without a fight!
"Yes, I can and I will!"
"JUST BECAUSE I WAS MAKING OUT WITH HIM!?" Dawn's rage felt almost
uncontrollable.
"It seems, Dawn," came her mother's cool, never reassuring, voice, "that you're
just not good enough to run this farm."
~
He was ending it. Their relationship was over. All over. Four years. Gone.
Her eyes filled with tears. "But..."
"Face it, Dawn, we're just kids," he told her, his soft blue eyes seemingly
covered with an icy sheet, but they still held his gentleness. "And we're
changing with the time..."
Dawn couldn't do anything but stare.
"Look, I'm sorry, Dawn," he said, sighing, scratching his blonde head, "but it
just... feels RIGHT with Callie. It's just... it's not like it's you or anything,
but I just feel like - like - Callie and I are *meant* to be together."
Dawn's eyes were overflowing with tears. She couldn't ever remember crying so
much, except when she was smaller. ... She loved him so much ...
He must have been about to crumble as well. "I'm sorry," he said, is voice
cracking, and he hurriedly walked off. A blonde girl farther off took his hand,
looked up into his eyes lovingly, concerned. She brushed tears from his eyes,
and Dawn could tell that he smiled back. It was reflected in her face.
"Just not good enough," the scene screamed at her.
~
Dawn's eyes went blank. Just...blank. Jack could see it. He could see that
sentence impacted her deeply, so deeply inside her.
He felt hatred - hatred welling deep within him. That BITCH! his innards
screamed. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO DAWN!?
He turned his full death glare upon Diana. "You cold, heartless snob," he said
quietly. "Why do you do this to her? Why?"
Michael immediately stepped forth. His face had paled, his rage and anger
controlled into a tight, deadly statement. His eyes glared balefully into Jack's
soft amber orbs. "I suggest you leave," he stated, demanded.
Demanded.
Dawn's eyes filled with hate. Complete, utter hatred.
"Mom. Dad."
They could see it in her eyes. Michael was baffled for a moment. So was Diana.
"Get out."
"What!?" they both reacted instantly.
"You can't order your parents around!" screeched Diana.
"You know what, Mom!?" Dawn jeeringly scathed at the title. "I've had ENOUGH of
you! You're always treating me like shit! I'm sick of you! I hate you! I HATE
YOU! I'm NOT going to let you order me around again! You've NEVER been helpful
to me, you've never-"
"I birthed you, you insolent little twit," Diana barked, her eyes flashing
dangerously. "And-"
"Oh, shut the hell up!" Dawn screeched. "You've never given a reason as to why
you hate me so much! But I've had it! I don't care anymore!"
Diana made to slap Dawn.
~
The hand came down on Dawn's soft, 8-year-old cheek. Over and over.
"You did it WRONG, you brat! WRONG!"
"Oh, come off it, Diana," Michael scowled at his wife from over the paper. "She
had a good try at it."
"Yeah, but it sure as hell wasn't good enough," Diana scowled, not ceasing in
her slapping, as she surveyed the ruined breakfast. "You can't do ANYTHING
right, you brat!"
The slaps brought tears to Dawn's eyes, but she didn't cry. She had stopped
crying for awhile now.
"That's enough, Diana," Michael said angrily, standing up and grabbing his
wife's hand. "Leave the poor girl alone. There, there..." He picked Dawn up and
got some ice to place on her cheek. "It's all right," he said soothingly to the
wronged child.
Behind him, Diana could be heard muttering, "I've always hated that stupid
bitch."
~
Dawn grabbed Diana's wrist before the hand could hit her face. She squeezed the
wrist and twisted it, forcing Diana's arm away. Then Dawn slapped her, as hard
as she possibly could.
The force of her blow knocked Diana to the ground, but admittedly because she
had been depending on Dawn's hand to keep her balance. Of course, Dawn had let
go; she didn't want to touch the woman. Michael seemed torn between helping the
woman he strangely seemed to love or congratulating Dawn on her outburst, seeing
as she definitely needed to be free.
His eyes softened as they gazed at Dawn. They softened when he looked at Jack,
as well.
Diana sure as hell didn't soften. She made an angry noise and leapt to her feet
to attack Dawn.
Her moves were quick - too quick - Dawn couldn't block in time.
But Jack could. He caught the woman's wrists and forced her to stop in her
tracks.
"I suggest YOU leave," he stated simply, his amber eyes penetrating like a knife
deeply into Diana's eyes, mocking her and her husband. "And don't ever touch
Dawn again."
He roughly let go of Diana, almost shoving her. With a final look of pure,
twisted, unadulterated hatred at the pair, she left.
Michael, unexpectedly, hugged Dawn.
"It's all right," he said soothingly to the wronged child.
He drew away. "I won't take the farm away," he said, his eyes smiling kindly,
though his mouth didn't. Then they darkened. "I do NOT, however, approve of
this - this," he said, waving a hand vaguely at both Dawn and Jack. "I strongly
DISAPPROVE. I'm letting you stay, but - " his shrewd eyes glared at Jack "If I
catch you with him again..."
Dawn sighed. Obviously, not much had been learned from this small incident.
"With all this commotion, I don't believe your mother will be staying any
longer," he added. "We're packing our bags immediately. You won't see us next
morning. Good-bye..." He stepped out the open door, shut it, and was gone.
Dawn sank onto the bed. Her eyes stared blankly at the wall.
Jack sat down next to her. She leaned against his shoulder and he wrapped an
arm around her waist.
"Not good enough," she mumbled, almost to herself, a tear trickling down her
cheek.
"Hey." Jack cupped her chin, made her to look into his eyes. He brushed the
tear away with a tender caress, and smiled. Her sapphire eyes blinked up into
his kind amber gaze.
"You're good enough for me."
~*~
Author's Notes: I hope you liked it. I promise to write more next chapter, and
it'll be soon, too... if everything goes according to plan, that is... Stay tuned!
~*Mirri Night
**Chapter 17: Not Good Enough
A/N: Chapter 17. I hope you're happy that it's not as late as the last two
chapters were. Thank Jon for that. He forced me under pain of death and exile
to write this chapter quickly. I should get some law against him and sue him or
something. Hope you enjoy this chapter, too. ^_^ Reviews and flames are welcome,
by the way. Reviews are VERY welcome.
EXTREMELY welcome. DEAR GOD PLEASE REVIEW ;_;
(Thinking is still between ~ and ~. One "~" also divides between memories and
another between the present.)
~*~
Not good enough.
"Good...but just not quite good enough."
Not good enough.
It had always been her life's story. Always. Everything she did. "Good...but not
quite good enough." Always in everything.
Why? Why was everything this way? Always and forever, she just wasn't good
enough.
Not quite good enough...
"Dammit Dawn, you had a good try at this game... And you did well indeed... But as
you can see..."
It was one of Dawn's soccer games. She had been on her high school's soccer
team, and their main defender. Her coach was outlining to her what had just
happened in the last play.
"...it was just not quite good enough."
"Great job, Dawn," snapped another team member. "Now we won't get the Cup."
~
~Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.~ Dawn hurriedly put her shirt back on, quailing
under her dad's glare.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, DAWN?!?" her father roared. "I CAN'T
BELIEVE YOU'RE _SLEEPING_ WITH THIS-THIS-"
"Dad, calm down!" Dawn screeched at him. Jack, setting his pants
straight, tried to say that they weren't having sex (yet), but Dawn's dad
wasn't hearing any of it.
"MY GOD, DAWN! WHY WOULD YOU GO DO SUCH A THING LIKE THIS!?"
~WHY NOW? WHY!?!?~ Aloud, she said, "Dad, please! I'm a grown woman!"
"GROWN WOMAN!? Don't you talk to me like that!" He was almost exploding with
rage. His face had gone a dark, dark purple. "YOU'RE ONLY TWENTY YEARS OLD!"
"What's going on in h--Oh." Diana had walked into the room, looking distinctly
ruffled for an unapparent reason.
Dawn sighed. ~HOW ELSE CAN THIS GO WRONG!?~
~
"Still not quite good enough."
The smart girl was smirking darkly. She had beaten Dawn to it - she had made
the curve. She had set the record in the class. She had beaten Dawn to the
next level. Dawn had almost made it. Dawn had almost risen up too. And Dawn
had been so close...
"You just weren't good enough," she said, laughingly as she headed off to her
new honors class, with her new course schedule.
Dawn looked down at her course schedule, her mediocre schedule.
~
And she smirked. Diana smirked. She obviously knew, as well, what Dawn's dad was
going to do. She always knew. Hell, she was directing the man.
"Dawn..."
Dawn swiftly glanced at her father. Diana said nothing, but surveyed the scene
with one eyebrow raised, and one side of her lips smiling that malice-filled,
yet serene, smirk. Michael was still purple, but his rage seemed to be beyond
loud words now.
"Sir, I really can explain -" began Jack. Dawn silenced him with a look.
"I'm taking the farm away, Dawn."
"WHAT!?!? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!" Dawn exploded. Something snapped in her. He
couldn't. He COULDN'T. He had absolutely no right. No right whatsoever. Hell,
he could TRY to haul her off to that smoggy clogged-up city but he wouldn't take
her without a fight!
"Yes, I can and I will!"
"JUST BECAUSE I WAS MAKING OUT WITH HIM!?" Dawn's rage felt almost
uncontrollable.
"It seems, Dawn," came her mother's cool, never reassuring, voice, "that you're
just not good enough to run this farm."
~
He was ending it. Their relationship was over. All over. Four years. Gone.
Her eyes filled with tears. "But..."
"Face it, Dawn, we're just kids," he told her, his soft blue eyes seemingly
covered with an icy sheet, but they still held his gentleness. "And we're
changing with the time..."
Dawn couldn't do anything but stare.
"Look, I'm sorry, Dawn," he said, sighing, scratching his blonde head, "but it
just... feels RIGHT with Callie. It's just... it's not like it's you or anything,
but I just feel like - like - Callie and I are *meant* to be together."
Dawn's eyes were overflowing with tears. She couldn't ever remember crying so
much, except when she was smaller. ... She loved him so much ...
He must have been about to crumble as well. "I'm sorry," he said, is voice
cracking, and he hurriedly walked off. A blonde girl farther off took his hand,
looked up into his eyes lovingly, concerned. She brushed tears from his eyes,
and Dawn could tell that he smiled back. It was reflected in her face.
"Just not good enough," the scene screamed at her.
~
Dawn's eyes went blank. Just...blank. Jack could see it. He could see that
sentence impacted her deeply, so deeply inside her.
He felt hatred - hatred welling deep within him. That BITCH! his innards
screamed. HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO DAWN!?
He turned his full death glare upon Diana. "You cold, heartless snob," he said
quietly. "Why do you do this to her? Why?"
Michael immediately stepped forth. His face had paled, his rage and anger
controlled into a tight, deadly statement. His eyes glared balefully into Jack's
soft amber orbs. "I suggest you leave," he stated, demanded.
Demanded.
Dawn's eyes filled with hate. Complete, utter hatred.
"Mom. Dad."
They could see it in her eyes. Michael was baffled for a moment. So was Diana.
"Get out."
"What!?" they both reacted instantly.
"You can't order your parents around!" screeched Diana.
"You know what, Mom!?" Dawn jeeringly scathed at the title. "I've had ENOUGH of
you! You're always treating me like shit! I'm sick of you! I hate you! I HATE
YOU! I'm NOT going to let you order me around again! You've NEVER been helpful
to me, you've never-"
"I birthed you, you insolent little twit," Diana barked, her eyes flashing
dangerously. "And-"
"Oh, shut the hell up!" Dawn screeched. "You've never given a reason as to why
you hate me so much! But I've had it! I don't care anymore!"
Diana made to slap Dawn.
~
The hand came down on Dawn's soft, 8-year-old cheek. Over and over.
"You did it WRONG, you brat! WRONG!"
"Oh, come off it, Diana," Michael scowled at his wife from over the paper. "She
had a good try at it."
"Yeah, but it sure as hell wasn't good enough," Diana scowled, not ceasing in
her slapping, as she surveyed the ruined breakfast. "You can't do ANYTHING
right, you brat!"
The slaps brought tears to Dawn's eyes, but she didn't cry. She had stopped
crying for awhile now.
"That's enough, Diana," Michael said angrily, standing up and grabbing his
wife's hand. "Leave the poor girl alone. There, there..." He picked Dawn up and
got some ice to place on her cheek. "It's all right," he said soothingly to the
wronged child.
Behind him, Diana could be heard muttering, "I've always hated that stupid
bitch."
~
Dawn grabbed Diana's wrist before the hand could hit her face. She squeezed the
wrist and twisted it, forcing Diana's arm away. Then Dawn slapped her, as hard
as she possibly could.
The force of her blow knocked Diana to the ground, but admittedly because she
had been depending on Dawn's hand to keep her balance. Of course, Dawn had let
go; she didn't want to touch the woman. Michael seemed torn between helping the
woman he strangely seemed to love or congratulating Dawn on her outburst, seeing
as she definitely needed to be free.
His eyes softened as they gazed at Dawn. They softened when he looked at Jack,
as well.
Diana sure as hell didn't soften. She made an angry noise and leapt to her feet
to attack Dawn.
Her moves were quick - too quick - Dawn couldn't block in time.
But Jack could. He caught the woman's wrists and forced her to stop in her
tracks.
"I suggest YOU leave," he stated simply, his amber eyes penetrating like a knife
deeply into Diana's eyes, mocking her and her husband. "And don't ever touch
Dawn again."
He roughly let go of Diana, almost shoving her. With a final look of pure,
twisted, unadulterated hatred at the pair, she left.
Michael, unexpectedly, hugged Dawn.
"It's all right," he said soothingly to the wronged child.
He drew away. "I won't take the farm away," he said, his eyes smiling kindly,
though his mouth didn't. Then they darkened. "I do NOT, however, approve of
this - this," he said, waving a hand vaguely at both Dawn and Jack. "I strongly
DISAPPROVE. I'm letting you stay, but - " his shrewd eyes glared at Jack "If I
catch you with him again..."
Dawn sighed. Obviously, not much had been learned from this small incident.
"With all this commotion, I don't believe your mother will be staying any
longer," he added. "We're packing our bags immediately. You won't see us next
morning. Good-bye..." He stepped out the open door, shut it, and was gone.
Dawn sank onto the bed. Her eyes stared blankly at the wall.
Jack sat down next to her. She leaned against his shoulder and he wrapped an
arm around her waist.
"Not good enough," she mumbled, almost to herself, a tear trickling down her
cheek.
"Hey." Jack cupped her chin, made her to look into his eyes. He brushed the
tear away with a tender caress, and smiled. Her sapphire eyes blinked up into
his kind amber gaze.
"You're good enough for me."
~*~
Author's Notes: I hope you liked it. I promise to write more next chapter, and
it'll be soon, too... if everything goes according to plan, that is... Stay tuned!
~*Mirri Night