The Outsiders © S.E. Hinton. This story is non-profit.
All notes/disclaimers in Chapter 1.





Not Today
Chapter 4: Broken

I'll admit it; I knocked on Jules' door once before we finished roofing her complex. She wasn't home, which sorta made it easier although I couldn't ignore my disappointment. Pony and Soda asked about her a few times but I just kept telling them what I was telling myself: I don't have time for a girlfriend.

Eventually, they quieted down about it but I could tell they were disappointed. After two or three days, Steve stopped spouting off about her ridiculous superstitions whenever I was around and I thought everything was going back to normal.

Something stuck with me, though. I mean something more than just her eyes which I imagined would stick with anyone. It was what she'd said, her theory. Maybe she didn't need me. Maybe I needed her. I never told anyone about that but sometimes late at night, when the whole house was silent except for Soda's snoring, I thought maybe she was right.

The heat wave hadn't broken and it looked like we were going for a record of seven straight days of temperatures above one hundred. Pony and Two-Bit were grumping around and I was finally making up that Tuna Helper when Steve and Soda banged in the door.

Soda came around one side of the kitchen and Steve came around the other like they were cornering me, which I don't like at all. Not too bright, those two, because if I were to hit either one with the pan I was holding, it was liable to kill them.

"Hey Muscles, guess who we saw at the DX today," Steve began. They all call me Superman or Muscles at one time or another, but Steve likes to do it most. I was too annoyed with having to cook up the Tuna Helper to even bother with playing guessing games so I didn't answer at all.

Soda's disappointment was palpable. "She even pulled in from the north side and everythin'!" he announced, sending Steve into a fit of laughter.

I looked up from the stove. It had been a week since Jules had come over with the Chinese food, a week since she'd told me maybe I needed her, and I hadn't seen her since. I don't like to think about stuff and it seemed like she was all I was thinking about. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much time I'd wasted just thinking. I was turning into Ponyboy.

"It was Jules," Soda said in case I hadn't figured it out. He grabbed a handful of uncooked noodles from the box and was popping them into his mouth one by one. To Two-Bit and Pony he said, "You remember Darry's friend Jules?"

Pony only nodded and Two-Bit put his finger next to his head and twirled it in a circle.

"She ain't crazy," I started to defend, but realized it wasn't worth the effort.

Two-Bit was chuckling and he put a hand on my shoulder. "Jus' kidding," he said in a mock serious tone, before pointing to Steve who was just composing himself. "I jus' like to get this monkey all riled up."

"How's she been?" Pony asked, leaning in the doorway and making a face at the Tuna Helper box. "You haven't seen her since she was over here, right Darry?"

"That's right."

Steve frowned. "Not much of a girlfriend now is she?"

I was about to remind him exactly why they insist on calling me Muscles, but hell, it wasn't worth it. I didn't even bother correcting him, and Soda said, "She asked about you, Darry."

I tried to sound uninterested. "Hmmm."

"Told her you were workin' a lot, same as always. She said that's a shame, we talked about how miserable the heat is. What else, Steve?"

Steve had his head stuck in the refrigerator and he emerged with a beer. "You invited her over for dinner tonight, oh and she went on a date with a guy from school. A guy in nursing school! I didn't know they let guys be nurses."

"They even let 'em be secretaries," Ponyboy chimed in, and Two-Bit whopped him over the head.

"No they don't!"

I couldn't even keep track of who was talking about what because something was stuck in my head. "You invited her over for dinner?!" I finally ground out, directing my question to Soda since he was the only one not involved in the can-guys-be-nurses argument.

Soda nodded casually and glanced at the clock. "Oh yeah, should be here in…twenty minutes?"

I looked at the Tuna Helper sitting on the stove and tried to talk myself out of the anxiety that was suddenly feeling. There was nothing I could do about the menu but I could definitely downsize the company.

The first thing I did was pull Soda away from the argument he'd cheerfully joined and warn him in my meanest voice not to ever invite people over without asking me. He said, "People? Or just girls," which earned him a wallop over the head. Then I announced that Two-Bit and Steve were going to the nightly double and Pony and Soda needed to start straightening up the house.

Everyone complained that it sure had turned into a lotta work considering I wasn't even barely friends with this girl, but Steve and Two-Bit left and Soda and Pony shoved the clothes that were scattered around the house into the hampers and emptied out all the ashtrays and I felt a whole lot better.

It sorta bothered me that I was so anxious. I didn't want to be, and the fact that I was and couldn't control it, well, it bugged me. When Jules got to our house everyone was all smiles and I couldn't figure out why I felt so uneasy. Pony and Soda were on their best behavior and far as I could tell, Jules was perfectly happy with Tuna Helper, although she did eat it with ketchup.

She started up a game of poker with me and Soda after dinner, and suggested playing for bets which wasn't a smart idea since I'm a real good poker player and Soda cheats somethin' awful. I told her that, and she only shrugged and dug a whole handful of pennies out of her purse and set them on the table. Soda grabbed our loose change jar and divvied up some money between him and I, and we started playing. Maximum bet: a nickel.

It was all goin' real well and I was honestly relaxing a little bit, so when Pony got up from the table and started hanging over Soda's shoulder instead of doing his math homework, I don't know what set me off. It started off with a simple request: "Let me look over that math if you're done with it."

I wasn't even really paying attention because I was holding a full house (Queens high) and about to win the "huge" pot in the center of the table (roughly four dollars in change).

"I'm not done," Pony said, and went back to whispering into Soda's ear, like it was perfectly all right for him to stop doing his homework before he was done with it.

Don't get me wrong, I let him take a break now and then, but he'd barely started, it was already late, and I just got done having a conference with his math teacher and promising her he'd try much harder.

"Pony, go finish your math," I said. Man, Jules and Soda were both unwilling to fold, and I was itchin' to see if either one of them thought they could bluff their way through this one.

If Pony listened to me all the time, well, we wouldn't fight as much as we do, now would we? Still, lots of times he just grumbles but eventually does what I ask him to. Lately though, since Johnny and Dally died, he not only doesn't listen but gets smart with me about what I'm asking him to do. Like he's always comparing himself with Soda, asking why I don't get on Soda's back all the time. Trust me, if Soda refused to go to work, I would.

This time he said, "I don't see why you and Soda get to sit here playing cards and I have to do homework."

That really rubbed me the wrong way. For one thing, we had company and I don't like him getting mouthy when we have company.

"Unfortunately for you kid, you're the only one around here who has homework, so quit talkin' back and go do it," I shot back at him.

Jules and Soda had lowered their hands and were just watching us now, and I could tell by Soda's apprehensive look that he was hoping this didn't turn into an all-out argument. I was hoping so too, but sometimes Pony's gotta get it through his thick head that I'm in charge, like it or not.

Pony's stubborn like the rest of us. He fixed a glare at me and said, "I'll do it after Jules leaves."

So then I got pretty mad. I'd forgotten all about the full house, and, I'll admit, about Jules and Soda watching us too, and I threw my cards down on the table and stood up. Pony stood up to his full height too, which is getting pretty close to Soda's but not near as tall as me. I could tell he thought maybe he shouldn't have said what he did because he glanced at Soda and his voice was a lot quieter when he said, "I'll do it later, Darry."

But I'm kinda hard to talk out of being mad once I've got it fixed in my mind that I'm mad. "You'll do it now," I insisted, jamming my finger into the table when I said 'now'. The pile of change rattled around and I realized we had been in the middle of something, and I also realized Jules was looking from me to Pony like she was at a tennis match.

Soda stood up. "C'mon Pony," he practically begged.

Soda's always our mediator, and if he asks one of us to lay off, we usually listen. He doesn't like taking sides, and he absolutely hates it when Pony and I fight. One time it got to him so bad he ran away, but after that we promised him we weren't gonna fight anymore. For me and Pony, that was like a couple of birds promising not to fly. It just didn't happen, but for a while it was better. And like I said before, I'm still trying harder to listen to Pony, and I think he's trying harder to understand that I have to work like a dog to make sure the bills get paid around here, but we'll always fight.

Especially about homework. He doesn't mind sitting down and doing an English paper, and he's always making good marks, but he seems to want to give up completely on math lately and he just can't. He ain't gonna get a scholarship, no matter how brainy he is in English, if he can't add and subtract.

He promised me he'd do better after I had that conference with his teacher not four days ago! He said, "I promise, Darry. I promise." He'd said it because he wanted to go to the Dingo with Soda and I was steaming about having to take time off work to go into his school and talk to his teacher. Soda got on me then and I went ahead and let Pony go, and now he pulls a stunt like this?

I not-so-calmly reminded him of that promise and he got real mad then. "God Darry, you're always on my back! I said I'll do it later! What business is it of yours if I do my math now or later, as long as I get it done?!"

"What business is it of mine?" I roared back, and boy did I forget Jules was in the room then. I'd like to think I never woulda hollered that bad if I remembered she was there, but I was so mad I couldn't see straight.

"It is not only my business but my responsibility to make sure you get that homework done in enough time for me to check it over and for you to get it right! Now I'm telling you to do it, you sit down and do it! Do not talk back to me again!"

Soda had gotten up from the table and he had his hand against Pony's chest and was practically pushing him back down in his chair. Pony went, and it was probably because Soda was begging him to, but maybe also because I can look pretty damn intimidating when I want to and I honestly felt like my eyes were gonna shoot daggers at him if he didn't do what I asked right then.

When Pony was back in his chair and Soda had pulled up a chair alongside him, I banged right outta the living room and onto the front porch. It wasn't until I heard the screen door open and close quietly behind me did I remember Jules was there the whole time.

It takes a lot to embarrass me, but that little scene sure did the trick.

I had my arms folded and I was leaning against the post, and she came up and stood right next to me. She didn't say anything for a while, and we just stood there. It was probably past nine o'clock and it was still in the nineties. Other than the occasional dog barking and the drone of the TV from the neighbor's house, the night was silent. It was even too hot for the crickets.

I heard her exhale before she spoke.

"Wanna go for a walk?"

Craning my neck to see in the kitchen window, I could just barely see Soda's back hunched over the dining room table, and knew Pony must be right next to him, working on his homework. I didn't know what Soda thought he was doing, he couldn't help Pony a lick, but maybe just being there was helping Pony plenty.

"Sure," I said, uncrossing my arms and following Jules down the porch steps.

We walked to the park without really meaning to. Jules wasn't familiar with the area (she said she'd never been on this side of the park) and it was just natural for me to head that way from my house. When we got to the fountain we stopped, and I sat down on the edge of it, grateful for the occasional spray of water on my back. Jules sat next to me and I stared at the spot I imagined Johnny probably stabbed Bob, and at the tree under which Dally died.

Without planning on it, I started to tell Jules the whole story. From the night Pony got jumped and made plans with Dally and Johnny to go to the nightly double to the day Pony brought home his essay, entitled "The Outsiders", in which he'd written our entire story.

I don't know how long it took me, but I just talked and she just listened. She didn't even interrupt with questions. After I got done, it was real quiet. She slipped her hand into mine and folded her fingers around my palm, and I could see her looking at our hands. She turned mine over and over in hers, just looking at it, every little detail. My hands are big and tough; I get a lot of calluses from working so hard every day and half the time I don't wear gloves because of the heat. Dad always told me rough hands are the sign of a hard-working man, so I was sort of proud of them. I started wondering what she was thinking.

"I have a theory," she said, and I nearly burst out laughing. She had stopped looking at our hands and was now looking into my eyes, and I wondered if I'd stopped breathing for a moment. "You've had every rough break you can get," she continued, not looking away. "Things have to start getting easier now."

I blinked. "That's your theory?"

She nodded earnestly, and I couldn't help but smile. "That's not a theory," I said. "That's wishful thinking."

"No." She shook her head and her hand squeezed mine. "It's like this heat. It gets bad enough, it's gotta break. Something has to change."

I don't know if it just just then that I noticed the weather had dropped a few degrees since we'd been out here, or if I was just imagining it because of her crazy theory. I looked down at my lap, and when I glanced back up again, her eyes hadn't left me. "It's good to believe that," I said honestly.

It was like Pony with his daydreams. I didn't want to take those away from him, but sometimes you have to face the cold hard facts that are the real world. And that's where Pony and I diverged. He spent too much time with his head in the clouds, and I, apparently, didn't stick mine in the clouds enough.

Nothing could ever convince me that wishing something would happen but not knowing if it actually will is anything but a colossal waste of time. Not even Jules. Not even the way she was looking at me just then. Not even those eyes.

Things got quiet again, and even the fountain seemed to have hushed itself just for us. Maybe that fuzzy feeling was coming back, the one that I got the other night when she kissed me on the porch. Maybe that was why everything seemed to be dimming. Her face was real close to mine -- was it always that close? -- and I couldn't really concentrate on anything else.

"I'm sorry for the fight," I said quietly, real quietly because I thought I might get in trouble for talking too loud in this muted haze. "We shouldn't 'a done that in front of you."

Her other hand, the one that wasn't entwined with mine, went up to my face and she pressed her palm against my neck, and I felt her fingernails brush the hair that curled around my ear.

"Shh," was what she said back.

Then her lips were on mine and I couldn't think anymore, not about anything except for how good it felt to be this close to someone again. Maybe the kiss only lasted seconds…maybe it lasted minutes, I don't know. I just know I hated it when she pulled away, and loved it when she smiled shyly and dipped her head like she was embarrassed about the whole thing.

Then she tilted her face up, and at first I didn't understand why. She let go of my hand, stood up and held her arms out to either side of her. I watched, confused, until I felt the first drop of rain hit my face.

"The heat wave," she said, turning around in a circle as rain started to form a steady drizzle. I looked up and saw clouds that had somehow moved in when I wasn't paying attention. "The heat wave," she said again, tipping her face down and grinning at me. She was quickly getting soaked, and so was I.

"It's broken," I finished for her, taking her into my arms and turning her in dizzying circles.

TBC…

Reviewers for Chapter 3:

Wow, I never expected to get so much positive feedback! Thanks guys! It definitely keeps the muses going. I'm trying to respond to everyone because one - I'm a chatterbox and I always have so much to say to fellow Outsiders fans and two - I really, really appreciate every review, the short ones, the long ones, all of them. If you want to drop by and write me a paragraph or just one line, I love it all!

Langley - I am very glad you took a shot on my story even though you haven't found many gems here on I find that they're like sale racks. There's good stuff around, but sometimes you have to dig. wink Darry seems to have a lot of fans coming out of the woodwork, and if my little story can bring to light that he has a ton of fans lurking around, well then that's just icing on the cake! Thanks so much for the review, I hope you keep reading.

Raggedy Anne - Only read the book a month ago and you're already around this thread! That's great. I read the book years and years ago, and have re-read it several times every year since, and I still find myself picking it up on a rainy day and reading it again. Hopefully it becomes that addictive to you. And yes, he is a very underappreciated character, simply because Pony has the most conflict with him and the book is completely from Pony's POV. So I'm trying to bring more depth to the character. Thank you for dropping by!

Sodapops#1gurl - Are we on the same page or what? You probably chuckled at the part in this chapter when Darry thinks, "I'm starting to act like Ponyboy." I swear I had that written before I read your review, and it cracked me up that we were thinking along the same lines. I am trying to use Jules to help Darry draw parallels between him and both Pony and Soda. It's real tough to right a Darry POV fic if we're supposed to believe he never thinks about anything all the time, so I'm glad you are finding it realistic even though it does make him seem more like Pony.

Julie - When I first saw your name on your first review, I chuckled. I don't write OC's very often, so I have a tough time coming up with names. I try to think of the character and pick a name that will fit her. The original draft of this story had her name as Joanie, but I kept thinking of Joanie Mitchell and it was really messing up my head. Julia seemed pretty and feminine, yet the nickname Jules could sort of portray her in a more wild and carefree light. Yes, a lot of thought went into it, and I do think you have a very pretty name. Thanks for reviewing!

kaz456 - I am glad to be helping bring depth to Darry's character. That is my whole aim for this story, although since he is not fleshed out much in the book, everyone has such a different view of him. That's what makes me nervous posting a Darry-centric story, but it looks like everyone's enjoying it so I guess I can relax! Thanks for chiming in!

Bandit-Gurl42­ - Okay, I won't worry about the length of the chapters. I suppose that's futile. I say what I gotta say however long it takes me to say it, right? wink Thanks for your thoughts, I'm glad you're liking it.

Arantxa - Thanks! Keep reading and I'm glad you're enjoying!

Tessie - Hey girl, thanks for stopping by again. As you'll see in the next chapter, I'm trying to balance Darry's availability of free time really carefully. We can't complain he only works if all he does is have free time in the stories, right? It's a tough job, but I'm trying to make it all come out realistic. Waiting patiently on that chapter of Unforgettable. Stop reading and start writing!

Jessie13 - I'm so glad you think everyone's in character. It's one of my biggest fears is to have someone go, "Um, that didn't sound like so and so at all!" Yikes. I read the book over and over and over (and even read parts while I'm writing to make sure I'm getting the tone of the character down right) so I try real hard. I'm glad you think it's paying off. Keep reading and reviewing!