The Outsiders © S.E. Hinton. This story is non-profit.
All notes/disclaimers in Chapter 1.





Not Today
Chapter 6: Misconceptions

There were two lone figures outside the nursing school at five minutes after six o'clock, and I knew immediately something was wrong. I didn't even bother shutting off the engine of the truck, I just pulled into the circular turn-around and jumped out.

The rain had let up a little bit; it was still drizzling but at least it didn't bite and sting at you the moment you stepped outside. Jules didn't have her umbrella and I wondered how long she'd been waiting because she was soaked through. The other person was a guy that looked to be Jules or my age wearing a tan jacket that really wasn't right for the weather. His hair was matted down to his forehead and maybe he'd been standing out there for a long time, too.

They were arguing, but that wasn't what concerned me. What concerned me was that Jules had her back to the brick wall of the building and the guy was cornering her, and pushing her every once in a while like he was trying to make his point. She looked okay, mad yeah, but not scared or anything, but still this guy rubbed me the wrong way. He shouldn't be treating a girl like that, no matter what they were arguing about.

I ran around the truck and up to Jules, who looked really relieved and went to step around the guy as soon as she saw me. The guy hadn't looked behind him, and I think if he had and seen me he wouldn't have grabbed her arm and tried to keep her from walking away. I'm kinda big and he kinda wasn't. But he didn't look behind him at all, he just seemed really irate that she was trying to walk away when he obviously wasn't done with whatever he was trying to say to her. So he grabbed her and that's when I lost it.

'Lost it' isn't really the right phrase. I didn't beat him up or anything. But I was furious because when he grabbed her, he yanked her back real hard and she cried out. She told me later that she yelled because she was startled, not hurt, but at the time it didn't matter. I just hauled off and hit him once.

Once was all it took. He went down to the soaked ground and was holding his face and yelling about how I broke his nose. I don't think I broke his nose, I think he was just shocked that someone punched him. Jules was totally shocked, 'cause she looked at me for a full thirty seconds with those big, wide eyes before scrambling into the truck.

I didn't want her to be scared of me, so the first thing I said when I got into the truck next to her was, "I'm sorry." Then I said, "Do you want me to make sure he's okay?"

I really, really didn't want to make sure he was okay. I couldn't have cared less if he laid on the sidewalk moaning about his nose all night. Luckily, she shook her head no and I took off. I drive kinda fast when I'm mad, so we got to my house pretty quickly. I'd meant to drive her home, but sometimes you just don't think and you automatically drive to wherever you're usually going. It's like when you move and you drive home from work the first day and accidentally go to the wrong house.

She said it was okay, and I really wanted to check on Soda and Pony so I took her in. She was all wet and shivering, and Soda went and got her a pair of jeans he said had belonged to Sandy. I didn't even want to know what Sandy's jeans were doing in his bedroom and not on Sandy's butt in Florida where they belonged. I didn't say anything and he didn't offer. Pony gave her one of his track t-shirts and a sweatshirt that was so old I think it used to belong to me.

We still hadn't talked about what happened, and I let her go change without bugging her about it. A few more minutes weren't going to kill me, but I was real curious as to why I felt the need to punch out a perfect stranger. While she was in the bathroom, I got into dry clothes and told Soda and Pony what I knew which wasn't much, and they offered to clear out which was real nice considering the weather outside. I told them they didn't have to and made Pony start his homework and Soda start dinner. By then, Jules was standing in the living room, still shivering.

I almost took the blanket that hangs off the back of our couch to throw over her shoulders, but it smelled like mold and whiskey. Instead, I rummaged in the back of my closet (which used to be mom and dad's closet) and came out with a quilt that wasn't exactly spring fresh but it hadn't been covering the backs of hoodlums in various stages of drunkenness as they slept it off on our couch for the past year. I tossed it over her shoulders and she clutched it to her and smiled at me gratefully.

We went out onto the porch. The house seemed like it was too close-quarters what with how restless and agitated I felt. The porch swing is old and creaky and sometimes I feel like it's gonna break if I sit on it, but she curled herself up onto it so I sat next to her. I couldn't stop folding my hands into each other. That's how I get sometimes after I fight, but don't fight enough to tire myself out, you know? I'd only gotten one swing…I needed more.

"I went out with that guy one night last week," Jules began before I even had to ask. I remembered the argument Pony and Two-Bit had about whether or not guys could be nurses. It had registered vaguely when Soda said she'd had a date, but I was so busy getting prepared for her to come over for dinner with twenty minutes notice that I hadn't really had time to think about it. Then afterwards, the rain and the kiss…it hadn't occurred to me to give it any more thought.

"It was just dinner after class," she said, and I looked at her curled up in that blanket. She looked tiny. "He was nice and everything, but I just wasn't interested, you know?"

She had raised her eyebrows, but didn't wait for acknowledgement and I didn't give any. I just kept looking at her, because she wasn't really paying that much attention. Her eyes kept focused on the rain that dripped off the porch eaves. She had real light freckles on her nose that I hadn't noticed before. A small scar in her right eyebrow where the hair didn't grow. Her cheeks were red, but probably from the cold.

"He said he was fine with being just friends. It wasn't any big deal. We've been chatting in class for the last few days. He seemed normal…"

She pushed a breath out and looked at me. I blinked in her sudden gaze but didn't take my eyes off of her. "What happened?" I asked softly.

If she was going to answer right away, he was cut off by the screen door slamming shut. Soda appeared on the porch and held out two mugs with steam rising from the top. "Hot chocolate," he said, as if we'd ordered it in a restaurant.

I set mine on the ground next to my feet; Soda always puts way too much chocolate in, but Jules kept hers cradled in her hands and when she took a small sip, she didn't make a face like I was expecting her to. Soda banged back inside and I heard him yell out to Pony whether he should make the mashed potatoes blue or purple. Pony hollered back that they should be white, adding something on the end that sounded like 'you moron', but I couldn't even laugh at that. Jules looked so distressed.

"See, this is what I don't understand," she said, and she sounded frustrated and sad at the same time. "All of you are so nice, I mean, sometimes extra sweet, you know? So how come people say…"

People say what?! I almost shouted. Usually I'm too busy working hard to notice what people say about me and my brothers. Usually I figure they don't know what they're talking about (they don't) and the only people whose opinion matters are ours and of course the people from the state who say whether or not I can keep Pony and Soda here at home with me. But lately, after Johnny killed that Soc, people were saying a lot of things and it was real hard not to hear. The whole community on the west side went crazy and sometimes it seemed like all their wrath was coming down just on us. Not greasers in general, but us. Me and my brothers, Steve, Two-Bit, Johnny and Dally.

After Johnny, Pony and Dally saved those kids, it was a whole different story. People were awful quick to tell me they never blamed Pony in the first place, and boy it'd be a shame for the state to take my brothers away from me after all we'd been through. I let that sort of talk just roll off my back as much as the other sort, only because everyone changes their tune depending on what's happening, and you have to figure out who you trust in the world and just take their word and no one else's.

One time, Pony told me that was a sad existence. Well, it's mine. You see enough in the world you get hard. Not hard like Dally, but you learn to keep a certain amount of good sense in your head and a shield around your heart.

Jules was blinking at me, and she had tears in her eyes. I didn't know if I should hug her or steer clear, so I put my arm around the back of her shoulders and squeezed a little. I didn't expect her to scoot closer to me and put her head on my shoulder, but she did.

"I told him about you, and he got real mad," she said. Her voice was so soft I almost didn't hear her, and I stopped moving the swing with my feet. "Not jealous, but mad. He really didn't want me to go out with you. He said you were dangerous. Violent and wild and -- " She took a swallow of hot chocolate. "He said bad things," she finished.

I hoped she wasn't holding back on my account. It wasn't anything I hadn't heard before, but it did make me mad that someone who I didn't even know was taking it upon himself to warn Jules away from me.

"I told him he didn't know what he was talking about," she said suddenly, sitting up a little in order to look me in the eye. "I told him I'd spent enough time to know -- but he didn't -- " She bit her lip. "Well, that's what that was about. What you walked up to. He wasn't hurting me, he was just not willing to give up."

Suddenly it dawned on me that I'd probably proven this guy right. I'd walked right up, hauled off and hit him. Plus, the fight the other night with Pony. It wasn't like I was trying to hide the fact that I had a temper from her, but those probably aren't the best impressions to make when someone's got someone else whispering in their ear about how dangerous I am. "Jules, I hope you don't think I would ever hurt you."

She shook her head quickly. "I don't." She smiled a little. "I kept hoping you'd come, you know, he was getting real agitated that I wasn't listening. I kept thinking, if Darry doesn't come I'm gonna have to do something other than stand here and argue because he's getting real sore at me."

I felt awful for being a little late. I took the mug of hot chocolate out of her hands and set it on the ground next to mine. Then I wrapped her up in my arms, the quilt and all, and squeezed. She giggled and squeezed back.

"You're just a regular hero," she said, and her voice was muffled into my chest.

I released her a little. "I'm probably closer to the things that guy was calling me than I am to bein' a hero," I said honestly.

She tilted her face back and blinked up at me. "Not to me," she said with gravity.

I had to smile at her tone of voice. Like it'd be a tragedy if I didn't believe her. I didn't have to think much about it, I just wanted to kiss her real bad then. So I leaned down and did it, and I felt one of her hands make it around to the back of my neck and her palm pressed there.

I coulda kissed her forever. And maybe I would have if Soda didn't bang right back out the door. I thought I pulled away from Jules fast enough, but when he told us dinner was almost on the table, his ears were a little red and I could tell he knew what we were doing. He was holding a big wooden spoon and on it there were little flecks of blue mashed potatoes.

"Are you gonna stay and eat?" Soda asked Jules. She was eying the spoon too.

"Only if the mashed potatoes are blue," she said, and Soda grinned like someone'd just told him he'd won the lottery.


After making sure it was alright with me, Jules told Pony and Soda what had happened when I picked her up from the college. Soda had eaten all of his chicken and most of the mashed potatoes on his plate, but he was pushing around what was left with his fork. He was agitated, I could tell that easily. It sorta surprised me, because Pony is usually the only one who worries about what people say about us. I don't think being a greaser bothers Soda at all; he probably thinks it's pretty funny to go around town with people thinking he's dangerous or something.

"Jules, it ain't true," Pony said when Soda still hadn't said anything and kept pushing his food around. It was starting to resemble a thick blue paste.

Jules nodded decisively. "I know, Pony."

Pony put his fork down a little too firmly and it clanked against the side of his plate. "Darry is the best one out of all of us!" he blurted out, and I could tell he didn't mean to say it because his ears got red like Soda's had earlier. "I mean, he works hard and barely drinks and doesn't smoke, and he never makes any trouble; I mean, if he gets in trouble it's cause of one of us, me or Soda or one of the gang."

I remembered what Two-Bit had said about me. "The only reason Darry ain't a Soc is us." I never mentioned it to anyone, but after I'd read Pony's essay I never forgot that Two-Bit thought that, or that Pony agreed.

"I know, Pony." Jules said it more firmly this time, her eyes were big and earnest and you couldn't not believe her. "Don't get upset, it's not a big deal."

"Sure looked like a big deal when y'all walked in."

It was the first thing Soda had said in a long time, and he kind of muttered it under his breath without looking up.

"Sodapop," I said firmly, reaching across to take his fork from him so he'd stop playing with his food. I don't know why it was bugging me so bad but it was. I made sure to lower my voice when I continued, I didn't want him thinking I was mad at him. "The guy was bein' a little too rough and I hit him, alright?"

We'd gone through all this. When I nodded at Jules when she'd looked at me after Pony and Soda asked what was going on, I didn't think the boys would make it into a federal case.

"It's just that people don't think that about you, Darry," Soda finally said quietly. "I mean, I thought they didn't. I was kinda proud, you know? You work so hard and everyone knows you're my brother, it kinda makes me look better even though I'm a dropout and I'll probably work at the DX the rest of my life." He talked quickly and without pause. "It's sorta like Pony, you know? He's brainy and gonna probably go to college and make somethin' of himself. You guys make me proud because I can't be that dumb if I'm related to you, now can I?"

"You're not dumb," Pony said quickly, and I looked at him to see if he was as surprised as I was to hear this coming out of Soda's mouth. He looked upset, but I couldn't tell if that meant he knew anything about this before or not. Pony and Soda are real close, and sometimes I take for granted that maybe they don't tell each other every little thing like I'd thought.

"You're not dumb, little buddy," I echoed, but Soda was only looking at us like he expected us to say it.

"I don't mind," Soda said, and I knew he meant it. "I don't mind what people think of me, not really. I mind hearin' that they're thinkin' things about you that aren't true."

Soda had gotten into a couple of fist fights the week that Pony and Johnny were in Windrexville on account of people talking about Pony like he was a cold-blooded killer or something. I had honestly thought it was more about letting out pent up aggression and frustration than it was about not sullying Pony's reputation, but now I knew better.

Jules pushed her chair back and for a minute I thought she was going to get up. She didn't though, just stretched her legs out under the table and sighed heavily. "If it makes you feel any better, it's not like everyone in the class was jumping up and agreeing with Kevin. I mean, the ones that remembered your names from the news and everything mostly remembered the stories about how Darry was raising you on his own, and they thought that was real brave."

She smiled at me, like she was proud of me. People look at me like that sometimes, especially if Pony makes an A on a test or wins a track meet. I usually don't read anything into it. Those are the same people that are usually quick to frown at me when Soda gets arrested for fighting or being a public nuisance with Two-Bit. But I really liked it when Jules did it.

"I thought that's what most people thought," Pony said. He still sounded miserable and I wanted to reach across the table and shake both my brothers by the shoulders. It was real nice that they were concerned about me but this had turned into something I had never imagined it would.

"They do," Jules said quickly. She bit her lip. "I mean, I'm sure they do?" She laughed a little and Pony kind of chuckled. "I do," she finally said, and she winked at me.

My stomach flip-flopped.

Jules waved her hand and continued, "It had more to do about being rejected than it did about Darry, you know. Kevin's only been in town as long as I have so everything he knows is second-hand…third-hand…old gossip anyway. Please don't worry about it, you guys. I guarantee your brother's reputation is as solid as it ever was regardless of what Kevin says."

There was silence for a long time around the table. I leaned over and took Jules' hand into mine and squeezed it tightly. She smiled.

Maybe because my hands were now otherwise occupied, Soda leaned over and snatched his fork back. "Nurse Kevin," he said thoughtfully, and everyone burst out laughing.


"How did you learn to fight?"

The question was out of thin air. Jules and I were back on the porch swing, and I kept telling myself to call it a night already. It was close to midnight and Soda and Pony were in bed already. The rain had finally let up and I couldn't resist when Jules took my hand and led me back outside. She was wrapped in the quilt again and we were just sitting there quietly, watching the water drip off the eaves and listening to it run through the gutters and onto the ground.

"How did I learn to fight?" I repeated, blinking sleep from my eyes as I tipped my face downward.

Her hair smelled like shampoo. Not the kind that smells like flowers or apples, but the kind that smells like…clean air. The air in the country. Her face was nestled into my chest and for a while I'd thought maybe she was asleep. She nodded into my shirt.

"Fighting isn't something I learned," I said after some thought. I supposed someone could be taught to fight, but I didn't know anyone that had to be. Maybe it was because I only knew boys that fought, and don't boys just fight? I'd been play-fighting with my brothers since I could remember, and once I got into high school, well, I wasn't a bad kid but I fought. Everyone fought, and some of us were better than others, but if you paid attention, you learned. One time I took a gymnastics class and I spent the whole summer teaching everyone because I thought it might come in handy in a fight. But that was about it. "Why?" I asked.

She looked up at me, and maybe she had fallen asleep for a while because her eyes looked hooded and a little red. "I'm not a victim," she said, with such fierceness and determination it surprised me.

"I know," I said truthfully.

She was sitting up now, and I was sorta disappointed. I hadn't held a girl in my arms in a long time, and I was getting real used to doing it again.

"Tonight, you didn't rescue me," she said, and she put a little emphasis on the word 'rescue'. It was sorta funny the way she said it, but I didn't dare laugh. She looked like she wanted to deck someone. I almost agreed, but if I wasn't rescuing her, how come my knuckles were smarting from punching that kid? I figured it was probably smarter not to say anything at all, so I just tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and waited for her to continue. She was sorta in her own little world.

"I was okay, he wasn't gonna hurt me."

This time I nodded. I'd gotten that afterward, but at the time I was hoppin' mad at what I was seeing and I still wasn't sorry for decking that guy. I wanted to say he mighta hurt you, but I think she knew that, deep down inside. At least the way she was biting her lip and looking sorta scared, I thought she knew. She shook her head, like she'd shook herself out of it and blinked at me. Refocused. I see Pony do that a lot. I can't really space out like that, not usually, but I've been doing it more and more lately, I guess. It's not something I'm proud of. She smiled at me.

"I was wonderin' if you could teach me how to fight," she said after a long pause, and hell, the question surprised me. I wasn't sure who she was planning on fighting, but even greaser girls don't get into physical fights all that often. Not that I was trying to be chauvinistic, because I wasn't.

"Why do you wanna learn how to fight?" I settled on asking. I wasn't even sure I'd know where to begin. I sure didn't wanna hurt her and I wasn't exactly itching to have her punching me either.

Jules shrugged. "It might come in handy for self-defense," she said pragmatically. "I am just a kid living alone after all." She smiled when she said that, like she knew that's what I thought. Which was true some of the time, but most of the time 'kid' was the furthest thing from my mind when it came to her.

When I didn't say anything back right away, her smile morphed into a frown and I immediately wanted to erase it. Her head dipped and I put two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look back up at me. "I'll teach you," I said firmly. "I was just thinkin' how to do it, that's all."

She was still frowning. "I just keep wondering what would have happened if you hadn't shown up." Her voice had a little tremble in it, and she pulled the quilt tighter around her although I wasn't sure she was trembling from the cold. "I'm sure it would have been fine, that's what I keep telling myself, but what if it wasn't. Kevin was awful mad…"

When she trailed off, I pulled her close to me again. I could tell she didn't want to be a victim, she didn't want to think of tonight as me having 'saved' her, and I was trying to understand. It's hard for me, since no one ever 'saves' me, except I started to think that maybe Jules was in her own way. I wasn't ready to tell her that, though.

"You woulda been fine," I said into her hair. She'd rested her head against my chest again and I was wrapping my finger around the rubber band she'd used to pull her hair back from her face at dinner. It was the rubber band off of our newspaper, and Soda'd thought that was pretty funny. "If you had this much hair, you'd use whatever you could get your hands on to get it outta your face too," Jules had snapped at him.

"So when can we start?" she asked, and I could tell she was getting sleepy again. It was definitely time to take her home.

"Sunday," I said definitively. "At your place unless you want the peanut gallery in attendance."

She laughed at that one. "My place it is," she said. Her hand was draped across my stomach, gripping my t-shirt at my side, and she lifted the hem a little and tickled the skin there. That's when I decided a few more minutes wouldn't hurt any, and I dropped a kiss on the top of her head before pushing the swing with my feet and letting us drift in companionable silence.

TBC…

Go ahead and review. Sodapop would want you to.

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Reviews for Chapter 5:

Well golly you guys. I'm feeling awfully appreciated around here, and I can't thank you enough for all of your kind and encouraging words! I'm going to have to keep my responses short if I wanna get this all posted in one piece, but just know that I am so thankful to each and every one of you who takes time to review!

pisiform - I'm thinking you might be right. ((winks)) Thanks for the review.

Tessie - LOL You dork. I just cracked up at your "mentally alert" comment. This one's extra long for ya since you had to wait the whole weekend for it.

Julie - I think Darry deserves a day off, too! I had to make him feel sufficiently guilty for it, though. Thanks for the comment!

Langley - Darry is the furthest thing from immature, but I think there's a 20-year-old in there somewhere dying to come out!! Maybe Jules can bring it out of him.

miz jif - Thanks for jumping in with your thoughts! I'm glad you like it and I hope you stay tuned!

JP Squire - The small details are what make a fic come alive, I think. I try very hard to set the tone so that while you read, you can picture everything. Ooh, you have faith in me? That's so great, but of course now I'm nervous that I'll let you down! LOL (Ignore me. Seriously.)

Bandit-Gurl42 - Thanks for your comments about the dialogue! You guys are flattering me from every angle! Thanks for your comments!!

Jenna - WWDD indeed. ((winks)) Thanks for stopping by to leave your comment, and I hope you made lots of $$ on your garage sale.

Sodapop's#1gurl - Ah, making Darry do something he wouldn't normally do was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to back it up with huge heaps of guilt.

Kaz456 - I'm glad you understood where I was coming from, and yes, I think Pony's relationship with Darry will change for the better after this whole thing goes down.

Raggedy Anne - I am going a little crazy. Just between you and me, though. ((winks)) No seriously, the story is fun to write, I love writing a Darry romance.