Behind The Scenes
One-Shot
Qualin
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.
Tomoyo's soft voice drowned out the quiet whispers of the Tomeda High School's backstage. Meiling chewed on her chapped lips, sucking the blood from the wound she'd made. Beside her, Syaoran fiddled nervously with the cuffs of his costume. He was more nervous now then when his mother had sent him to Japan by himself for his first real mission for the clan. He shifted in the thick polyester crimson coat.
Meiling raised an eyebrow and teased her cousin, "Butterflies in your stomach?"
"No!" Syaoran was quick to deny, "I was just . . . This damned thing is so uncomfortable!"
Meiling hid her smile with a hand even though Syaoran wouldn't have noticed anyways. Daidouji never made anything that was uncomfortable. She was a master seamstress, even for a twelve-year-old.
"I'm sure," Meiling muttered, knowing Syaoran would hear her, and walked away to get her lines from Naoko.
Syaoran clenched his fist to stop it from adjusting his seemingly too tight collar. Sweat dripped down his face in frustration. There was nothing so antagonizing as knowing what he had to say to Sakura. Those lines were from hell!
"I'll kill whoever wrote them," until he remembered that it was Naoko. Glancing over his shoulder, Syaoran stared intensely at the door that Sakura was in, waiting for Tomoyo to help her prepare.
With a huge gulp of air, Syaoran steeled himself for the performance of his lifetime.
Meiling watched as he breathed in and gripped air with white knuckles. She was almost tempted to smirk. Suits you right for choosing her. She mentally berated herself, trying to listen to Naoko talking about her lines. However, her eyes kept straying over to her cousin.
She knew that after all this time, after all the agreements and deals, after all the pain on her part and crying several times in the arms of both her aunt and Daidouji, she should have grown up. But there was still a very strong part of her heart that never wanted to let Syaoran go. Most relationships crumble to hatred when something like this happens. But she could never hate him. She loved him on so many levels!
Turning back to her friend, she nodded and confirmed that she knew her lines. Tomoyo's song ended and she came rushing down to help Sakura. Everyone congratulated her, even Syaoran. Meiling just smiled. When Tomoyo thanked them, she caught Meiling's eye and smiled back.
Meiling's heart warmed. Tomoyo knew what it was like having your love unrequited. Meiling sat down. However, Daidouji Tomoyo would not give up. She had her beloved's affection to a certain point, and she would take whatever she could get. Meiling also had Syaoran's affections as his cousin and old friend. In fact, for the longest time she'd been his only friend. She knew that he'd never let anything bad happen to her but . . .
But watching Tomoyo enter that room fully aware that the girl inside whom she loved was going to confess her feelings to another, Meiling knew that she was weak. Tomoyo held such a powerful strength to truly believe that if her "Number One" was happy, then she was happy. Everyone thought that Meiling had such a powerful personality and that no one would ever make her feel little or small, but that was untrue.
Tomoyo was the only one who knew how weak Meiling really was. When Syaoran had confirmed her suspicions, what she'd hoped was paranoia, she' d fled to the Daidouji residence, knowing there was nowhere else to go.
Meiling took a peek at the door where Tomoyo was probably telling the ever oblivious Sakura how wonderful she was and probably looking at Sakura with the most loving eyes in the world.
She almost groaned in frustration. If only things could have turned out right for them.
When she'd gone to Tomoyo's house and cried and listened to her dear friend, something became fervently bright and clear to Meiling: She really did love Syaoran, but instead of clinging to him resentfully, she wanted to be like Tomoyo. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to give him up and let him be happy.
Sakura's door clicked open, she stepped outside looking positively radiant in her dress. She truly was a princess. Tomoyo, followed out, unnoticed by the gawking crowd. Slipping through the pack of classmates, she settled next to Meiling.
"Nice dress," Meiling said quietly.
"Thank you!" Tomoyo smiled. Reaching out, Tomoyo fingered Meiling's palm. She gently grasped the Chinese girl's hand. Meiling looked up in surprise.
"Come on. Sakura and Li-kun will undoubtedly want to see us," with a wink, she dragged Meiling to the curtain where Syaoran and Sakura stood staring at the floor blushing.
Be strong, be strong. He's so happy! Look at him! Look at him!
Meiling raised her eyes. Syaoran was happy. She nearly gasped. For a moment, she thought that she did. In truth it was Tomoyo, who'd gotten a bit of a shock when Meiling suddenly crushed Tomoyo's frail hand in her powerful one.
Meiling store at Syaoran. During their entire stay in China, he'd been almost back to normal. Almost. His slight smiles that lit up the world were gone. His smug smirk had faded. No longer did he laugh. It wasn't as if he'd expressed joy very often when he was younger, but the small signs of love that he'd saved for Meiling and his sisters had just . . . gone. And now they were back. He'd retracted them from his family and was now saving them for Her.
Syaoran was giving a small grin to Sakura, who was beaming right back in her Sakura-like way. Meiling just watching in wonder. She felt Tomoyo gently rubbing the top her her hand in comfort.
"You see? It's not so bad." Meiling turned to look for Tomoyo, but she was gone and in her place was Naoko and Rika telling her that it was time to go on.
Meiling searched left and right, but couldn't find the black-haired Japanese girl. Instead, in all her tripping a stumbling as Naoko yanked her away, she saw Syaoran gazing at Sakura with pink cheeks.
Be strong! Be strong! Be strong!
But as if Syaoran knew that Meiling was in anguish, he turned his head and did something that she hadn't seen since they were five. He smiled. Not just his little smirks or gentle comforting smiles, but a beam. A closed-eyes, dimples up smile.
Meiling smiled back for some reason. She couldn't help it. Syaoran was so happy! It was great! But as soon as she saw it, Naoko pushed her on-stage. She made a faint attempt to glance back at him, but his face was blank again.
Had it even happened?
Yes, she told herself firmly. Yes it did.
As she walked into the spotlight with the other actresses, she saw Tomoyo behind the opposite curtain. As always, filming Sakura with the utmost attention and care.
"Thank you," she muttered under her breath, hoping Tomoyo knew how much she appreciated her.
Then, to Meiling's shock, as Sakura sat down, Tomoyo lifted her sweet face from the camcorder and winked at Meiling. She grinned back and opened her mouth to start the performance.
Meiling said her lines flawlessly and the performance was going extremely well. Yet, something was bothering her. How, after knowing him for his entire life, did she not know that Syaoran had dimples? They were so cute! How could she not have noti- WAIT! Meiling shook her head. She was acting like Tomoyo. She'd been spending way too much time hanging around the girl.
But glancing over again as Tomoyo taped her love with tears of joy and a heart full of love, Meiling wondered.
Was that a bad thing?