A/N With Avril Lavigne singing in my ears, I go to start this chapter. So if you see any random song lyrics in here, um.... Sorry about that. Thanks to Orchid6297, Kari, Arobow, Celestria16, BAshipper101, skye- lark913, kitten ish, and Shayla-BA for reviewing. Oh, and kitten ish, sorry about the 'he's' that should've been 'she's', my computer is old, and the key board is kind of, well broken, so sometimes the words screw up on me, and the spell check doesn't pick up that error. And most of the time, I'm too lazy to read over it. >
Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy. I own a little elephant from Greece, and that is all.
Summary: Buffy's just a normal girl who's lost her way in the world, but what happens when another lost soul captures her heart, and refuses to give it back?
Last Chapter Summary: Angel knows what's going on in Buffy's life, and now feels he needs to help even more, but he's not sure if Buffy will let him.
But It Feels So Right
Buffy's eyes slowly opened, and she blinked a couple of times, allowing her vision to clear. Her eyes travel around the room, and she eventually remembers were she was.
Angel's House.
She must have fallen asleep here yesterday, after talking to him. He had asked more questions than she had thought he would, but he had been nice about it, given her time to answer them, even though he did ask for explanations every once and a while.
(((Flash Back)))
"Buffy?" Angel's voice was gentle, soothing.
"Yes?"
"How many times, I mean, how long has this been going on?" He asked, looking down at her.
She thought for a moment before answering, just a little bit worried about telling him these things, "Five or Six years...."
Angel blinked, obviously surprised, and terrified at her answer, and he doesn't speak for a moment. Then, as if he was trying to collect himself, he closed his eyes, and drew a breath.
"Five or six years?" he repeated as a question.
She nodded, and then hung her head. There was no going back now. He would probably ask her about everything. Why it started, why it was still happening, why she had let it happen. But the truth was, she didn't know the answers to these questions. All she knew, is that's the way things were.
Angel looked disgusted, and angry when Buffy looked back up at him. She was confused at his reaction, not believing he really did care as much as he seemed to. He stared at her, then pulled her closer to him.
"God Buffy, are you ok?"
She didn't know the answer to that question either. Sure, she was ok, but was that the way he meant it, or did he mean did she feel ok? When she didn't answer, he sighed.
"Buffy, can you tell me what happened, back when it started?"
She shook her head, "No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
This felt like a police investigation, the questions felt like he was reading them out of a manual, the only difference was that he cared, and Buffy knew he did, she just couldn't realize it yet.
They sat in silence for a moment; Buffy's breathing was the only noise in the room. She was still a little worked up about what had been going on. The last couple of days, this conversation, everything around her was spinning, and there was only one thing that seemed to be standing still.
It was Angel. He seemed to be stable, seemed to be the only thing she could hold on to, the only thing she could anchor on, that she knew would hold strong. The way he was holding her, the way he was gentle, not just in his actions, but in his words. He was treating her like she was a fragile vase, and for the millionth time in her life, that's what Buffy felt like.
Then he let her go, and she looked up at him, a look of shear confusion on her face. He returned her look with one of anguish, and dejection. Buffy couldn't tell if he was upset, or disoriented by what she was telling him.
"You should get some rest." He said, his voice now emotionless, "You can use my room."
She nodded, "Thank you, but..."
"No, it's ok, really, I can stay in my cousin's room." Angel said, but that wasn't what Buffy was concerned about.
She wanted him to stay here, so she wouldn't be alone. After all those years of being nothing but the latter, she wished he would stay. But she would never ask him to; he had done too much for her already.
He left the room, and Buffy laid down, her eyes wandering around the room, wondering why she was here, why this had happened today, and not before. Why all this had happened to her, but no answers came, and she soon found herself falling asleep, exhausted from the passed events.
(((End Flashback)))
Buffy starred up at the ceiling, thinking about how Angel had looked when she had told him some of the things that had happened to her. He had looked concerned, and angry, but she knew it wasn't with her.
A small knock came from the other side of the door, and Buffy sat up, startled by the noise.
"Buffy, it's me, are you awake?" Angel called from out in the hallway.
She contemplated answering him. Not knowing if she should just shut her eyes and go back to sleep, and ignore him. She didn't want to do that, but she wasn't sure if she could look at him. Look at the one person in her life that actually cared, that actually wanted to help.
"Yeah."
"Can I come in?
Buffy wondered why he just didn't open the door, it was his room after all, then again, Angel always did seem like a gentleman.
"Sure."
The door opened and Angel walked in, he looked a little bit tired, but she didn't ask why. Then he sat down on the bed. She looked at him, and then moved to sit next to him, allowing her legs to dangle over the edge of the bed.
"Morning," he said, trying to smile at her.
She smiled meekly at him, "Hey," she said, noticing that her voice was soft, timid even, and a little hoarse, like she had a cough.
Angel also seemed to notice, but kept it to himself, "How you feeling?"
"Pretty good, I guess...."
"Good" He looked at her wondering how someone could go through all that, and still have a smile on their face the next day, and act like they were ok.
Angel thought that Buffy would have still been like she had been last night. Unstable, helpless, but she was quite the opposite. She was acting cheerful, but he could tell she wasn't up to one hundred percent yet. And he didn't expect her to be, though she did seem to being dealing with it very well.
Maybe it was because she was used to it, maybe because she didn't want to think about, Angel didn't know. He wanted to, but he couldn't ask her that again, she had barely been able to answer the same question the night before, along with many others that he was going to allow to remain unanswered for the time being.
She glanced up at him, and swallowed, feeling a bit uncomfortable in the silence. Normally, quiet would have been nice, but not when both people had something to say, but neither of them wanted to say it. It felt wrong to her to just sit there, when she knew they should be talking. When she knew she should be telling him what he had asked, even if it wasn't what she wanted to do, it was something she had to do.
Buffy opened her mouth, prepared to speak, but closed it quickly when Angel beat her to it.
"Are you ok?" A simple question that always provoked a complicated answer.
"Fine." Ok, maybe not always, at least not when lying about how you really feel.
Angel looked at her, obviously not believing her answer, but he didn't meet her eyes.
Buffy tilted her head, and leaned closer to him, "Angel?"
He didn't look up at her, "Yeah?"
"Are you ok?" she asked, hoping she hadn't gotten him in a bad mood just being there.
"Fine." Again, the answer was always short when you lie.
Buffy tentatively reached her hand forward, and placed it on his cheek. His head moved and he looked into her eyes.
"Angel, I'm ok, really. Please stop worrying."
"I'm not-"
"Yes you are, and I don't want you to, I've gotten through this before. I never should have dragged you into it...."
He blinked, then shook his head, "Buffy, you didn't drag me into it, if anything I jumped in front of the moving train. I got myself into what ever's going on in your life, and you can't stop me from trying to help you."
Buffy was silent, she didn't know what to say. No one had ever said anything like that to her before, not even the people she had though cared about her.
"Angel...." It was all she could say, and now more than ever, she could see that he cared, but she didn't think she deserved it.
His hand met hers on his cheek, and he smiled at her, "I'm going to help you get through this Buffy, I wont let anything happen to you again."
She glanced down, not believing this was really happening, not believing it could happen. It was impossible for anyone to help her. The police couldn't, the DSS hadn't even helped, because no one outside her family knew the real story. No one but Angel. He knew, and he wanted to change it, change al the wrong she had come to accept as right, and it didn't seem real.
"Buffy, I promise."
Again, those three words, she had heard that before, and not just from him. He father had told her that, and then gone back on his word, gone back on her trust. Those words never led to anything that mattered. She looked up at him.
"Don't promise."
He looked at her confused, then nodded, as if he understood, though Buffy doubted he really did, and she doubted anyone ever would.
A/N So sorry for the late update, I'm literally going crazy here. I had to rewrite this like five times before it made sense, and it still doesn't, and it's a little bit weird to real. Very emotional, I think. I don't know, I haven't read it over yet, and I probable wont until people start to tell me what I'm doing wrong. They seem to do that a lot, they never tell me what I'm doing right. Anyway, again sorry about the late update, and sorry that the next chapter may take just as long, seeing as I kind of ran myself into a corner here....
Bloody SunSet
Disclaimer: Joss owns Buffy. I own a little elephant from Greece, and that is all.
Summary: Buffy's just a normal girl who's lost her way in the world, but what happens when another lost soul captures her heart, and refuses to give it back?
Last Chapter Summary: Angel knows what's going on in Buffy's life, and now feels he needs to help even more, but he's not sure if Buffy will let him.
But It Feels So Right
Buffy's eyes slowly opened, and she blinked a couple of times, allowing her vision to clear. Her eyes travel around the room, and she eventually remembers were she was.
Angel's House.
She must have fallen asleep here yesterday, after talking to him. He had asked more questions than she had thought he would, but he had been nice about it, given her time to answer them, even though he did ask for explanations every once and a while.
(((Flash Back)))
"Buffy?" Angel's voice was gentle, soothing.
"Yes?"
"How many times, I mean, how long has this been going on?" He asked, looking down at her.
She thought for a moment before answering, just a little bit worried about telling him these things, "Five or Six years...."
Angel blinked, obviously surprised, and terrified at her answer, and he doesn't speak for a moment. Then, as if he was trying to collect himself, he closed his eyes, and drew a breath.
"Five or six years?" he repeated as a question.
She nodded, and then hung her head. There was no going back now. He would probably ask her about everything. Why it started, why it was still happening, why she had let it happen. But the truth was, she didn't know the answers to these questions. All she knew, is that's the way things were.
Angel looked disgusted, and angry when Buffy looked back up at him. She was confused at his reaction, not believing he really did care as much as he seemed to. He stared at her, then pulled her closer to him.
"God Buffy, are you ok?"
She didn't know the answer to that question either. Sure, she was ok, but was that the way he meant it, or did he mean did she feel ok? When she didn't answer, he sighed.
"Buffy, can you tell me what happened, back when it started?"
She shook her head, "No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
This felt like a police investigation, the questions felt like he was reading them out of a manual, the only difference was that he cared, and Buffy knew he did, she just couldn't realize it yet.
They sat in silence for a moment; Buffy's breathing was the only noise in the room. She was still a little worked up about what had been going on. The last couple of days, this conversation, everything around her was spinning, and there was only one thing that seemed to be standing still.
It was Angel. He seemed to be stable, seemed to be the only thing she could hold on to, the only thing she could anchor on, that she knew would hold strong. The way he was holding her, the way he was gentle, not just in his actions, but in his words. He was treating her like she was a fragile vase, and for the millionth time in her life, that's what Buffy felt like.
Then he let her go, and she looked up at him, a look of shear confusion on her face. He returned her look with one of anguish, and dejection. Buffy couldn't tell if he was upset, or disoriented by what she was telling him.
"You should get some rest." He said, his voice now emotionless, "You can use my room."
She nodded, "Thank you, but..."
"No, it's ok, really, I can stay in my cousin's room." Angel said, but that wasn't what Buffy was concerned about.
She wanted him to stay here, so she wouldn't be alone. After all those years of being nothing but the latter, she wished he would stay. But she would never ask him to; he had done too much for her already.
He left the room, and Buffy laid down, her eyes wandering around the room, wondering why she was here, why this had happened today, and not before. Why all this had happened to her, but no answers came, and she soon found herself falling asleep, exhausted from the passed events.
(((End Flashback)))
Buffy starred up at the ceiling, thinking about how Angel had looked when she had told him some of the things that had happened to her. He had looked concerned, and angry, but she knew it wasn't with her.
A small knock came from the other side of the door, and Buffy sat up, startled by the noise.
"Buffy, it's me, are you awake?" Angel called from out in the hallway.
She contemplated answering him. Not knowing if she should just shut her eyes and go back to sleep, and ignore him. She didn't want to do that, but she wasn't sure if she could look at him. Look at the one person in her life that actually cared, that actually wanted to help.
"Yeah."
"Can I come in?
Buffy wondered why he just didn't open the door, it was his room after all, then again, Angel always did seem like a gentleman.
"Sure."
The door opened and Angel walked in, he looked a little bit tired, but she didn't ask why. Then he sat down on the bed. She looked at him, and then moved to sit next to him, allowing her legs to dangle over the edge of the bed.
"Morning," he said, trying to smile at her.
She smiled meekly at him, "Hey," she said, noticing that her voice was soft, timid even, and a little hoarse, like she had a cough.
Angel also seemed to notice, but kept it to himself, "How you feeling?"
"Pretty good, I guess...."
"Good" He looked at her wondering how someone could go through all that, and still have a smile on their face the next day, and act like they were ok.
Angel thought that Buffy would have still been like she had been last night. Unstable, helpless, but she was quite the opposite. She was acting cheerful, but he could tell she wasn't up to one hundred percent yet. And he didn't expect her to be, though she did seem to being dealing with it very well.
Maybe it was because she was used to it, maybe because she didn't want to think about, Angel didn't know. He wanted to, but he couldn't ask her that again, she had barely been able to answer the same question the night before, along with many others that he was going to allow to remain unanswered for the time being.
She glanced up at him, and swallowed, feeling a bit uncomfortable in the silence. Normally, quiet would have been nice, but not when both people had something to say, but neither of them wanted to say it. It felt wrong to her to just sit there, when she knew they should be talking. When she knew she should be telling him what he had asked, even if it wasn't what she wanted to do, it was something she had to do.
Buffy opened her mouth, prepared to speak, but closed it quickly when Angel beat her to it.
"Are you ok?" A simple question that always provoked a complicated answer.
"Fine." Ok, maybe not always, at least not when lying about how you really feel.
Angel looked at her, obviously not believing her answer, but he didn't meet her eyes.
Buffy tilted her head, and leaned closer to him, "Angel?"
He didn't look up at her, "Yeah?"
"Are you ok?" she asked, hoping she hadn't gotten him in a bad mood just being there.
"Fine." Again, the answer was always short when you lie.
Buffy tentatively reached her hand forward, and placed it on his cheek. His head moved and he looked into her eyes.
"Angel, I'm ok, really. Please stop worrying."
"I'm not-"
"Yes you are, and I don't want you to, I've gotten through this before. I never should have dragged you into it...."
He blinked, then shook his head, "Buffy, you didn't drag me into it, if anything I jumped in front of the moving train. I got myself into what ever's going on in your life, and you can't stop me from trying to help you."
Buffy was silent, she didn't know what to say. No one had ever said anything like that to her before, not even the people she had though cared about her.
"Angel...." It was all she could say, and now more than ever, she could see that he cared, but she didn't think she deserved it.
His hand met hers on his cheek, and he smiled at her, "I'm going to help you get through this Buffy, I wont let anything happen to you again."
She glanced down, not believing this was really happening, not believing it could happen. It was impossible for anyone to help her. The police couldn't, the DSS hadn't even helped, because no one outside her family knew the real story. No one but Angel. He knew, and he wanted to change it, change al the wrong she had come to accept as right, and it didn't seem real.
"Buffy, I promise."
Again, those three words, she had heard that before, and not just from him. He father had told her that, and then gone back on his word, gone back on her trust. Those words never led to anything that mattered. She looked up at him.
"Don't promise."
He looked at her confused, then nodded, as if he understood, though Buffy doubted he really did, and she doubted anyone ever would.
A/N So sorry for the late update, I'm literally going crazy here. I had to rewrite this like five times before it made sense, and it still doesn't, and it's a little bit weird to real. Very emotional, I think. I don't know, I haven't read it over yet, and I probable wont until people start to tell me what I'm doing wrong. They seem to do that a lot, they never tell me what I'm doing right. Anyway, again sorry about the late update, and sorry that the next chapter may take just as long, seeing as I kind of ran myself into a corner here....
Bloody SunSet