If You Need Her
By Scribe Figaro
SESSION THREE: REUNITED
"In your house
I long to be
Room by room
Patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone."
- Audioslave, "Like a Stone"
Kagome ran the conversation between herself and Sango through her mind again. She had given Sango an orange to coax a conversation out of her. The first real, back-and-forth conversation Sango had held with anyone since Miroku had died.
It was only for a few minutes, and already Sango had left her.
It's just as it was before. She held herself together when she fought Inuyasha for revenge of her family. She held herself together when she was bedridden in the endless gravesite that was once her village. She held herself together when she found her brother under Naraku's control, and when she decided to take Tetsusaiga to Naraku. But only when we had accepted her, had forgiven her of her transgressions, did she cry.
She's strong. She might not shed a tear for Miroku. Some might call her callous, but I know her. She's hurting, hurting more than any of us.
I've worked so hard to get them together, and now I see how stupid I was to ever try. I keep forgetting this is another time, a time with demons and ghosts and thieves, a time with disease and hunger and death. Death is everywhere. I forget these things, and I think that perhaps I can bring happiness to two people, two friends, two partners in combat, by encouraging them to be more. But I forgot how fleeting life is here, and the cruelty in me trying to make Sango love Miroku is unforgivable now.
Would she be so sad if Miroku was nothing more than a friend to her? Would she be endlessly staring off in the distance? Would her lips quaver so often in tears just barely held back?
She's lost everything. Her family. Her home. Her village. And the man she might have loved. I can't understand her now. I could never understand such loss, such terrible loss.
Kagome apologized for trying to play matchmaker with Sango-chan and Miroku-sama. And yet, what Sango had replied as she left the hut both warmed her and chilled her at once:
"I would have cared for him the same."
Kagome shook her head, forcing the memories away. Now alone, she began to tidy up the small hut they had rented for the evening. The rice was already cooking, and surely Sango could have smelled it before she had left. Kagome would set aside a good portion for her.
"Inuyasha and Shippou should return soon," she murmured. "I hope they bring some fish like they promised."
She rummaged through her backpack, produced her algebra book, and curled up in a corner with the book on her lap.
She was quite thankful when she heard Inuyasha's voice about ten minutes later.
"I told you that one's mine!" the hanyou shouted.
"Inuyasha no baka!" shouted Shippou. "You just took it from me after I caught it!"
"Because you dropped it, stupid kid!"
The hanging cloth was thrown aside and Inuyasha entered, followed by an annoyed yet triumphantly strutting kitsune. Between them they carried at least a half-dozen small fish in their arms.
Both tossed their fish in piles beside the fire and started to impale them on sticks to cook.
Only at this time did Kagome look up and notice how dark Inuyasha's hair was in the candlelight, as well as his lack of dog-ears.
He looked up to her, noticed her alarm, and shrugged.
"Sun set just as I was getting here. Nobody saw me."
"You're not worried?" Kagome asked.
"Why would I be? We're in a safe village. I can't smell youkai anywhere." He paused. "At least, I couldn't before I changed. Can't really smell anything now."
She smiled.
He's so comfortable in his human form nowadays. He's not bothered to be weak in front of us. He might even sleep this time.
"Make sure you leave some food for Sango. She might not return for a while."
"Yeah, no problem," he said.
After setting up four fish to cook, Inuyasha scooted away from the fire and stretched his arms.
"Kagome," Shippou said, "Inuyasha and I went around town looking for a monk for Miroku. We found one family that was keeping a houshi for the night, but they said he had gone to the hot springs when we arrived, and we couldn't find him there."
Inuyasha was already helping himself to a portion of the rice. "He's just a poor traveling monk. They said we ought to pay him twice the going rate for a funeral ceremony, but damned if I know how much that is. Anyway, I think we'd be better off going a bit farther and finding a decent monk. Someone so desperate for money might just run off instead of blessing the grave for us." He paused. "Plus, I think we can find someone of higher rank than that. Hell, I'd take even Mushin over the work of some poor traveling monk."
The familiar jangle of a shakujou made them silent.
"Aw, hell," Inuyasha mumbled. "Just be quiet, all of you, or he'll stand outside all night waiting for money."
Kagome was already sifting through her backpack for some sengoku jidai coins. She stood, glaring at Inuyasha.
"Miroku-sama was a houshi, too."
She went outside, meeting the young man holding a worn clay bowl in front of him. His face was entirely obscured with a deep, bowl-shaped straw hat. At best she could see the thin line of his mouth, which smiled so very subtly at the clink of coins in his beggar's bowl. He turned, and only then did she recognize the gait of the man, the smell of dirt on his clothes, the fact his shakujou was identical to that of someone she once knew.
"Miroku-sama," she whispered. He gave no reaction.
"Houshi-sama!" she cried. He stopped mid-stride, turned ever so slightly toward her. He held the bowl out further, as if to allow her to reclaim her offering.
Slowly she approached him, within arm's length now. He must have seen her clothes from beneath his hat, for he turned his head away, as if embarrassed. She took the opportunity to pull at the strap of his hat, sliding it off his head.
His eyes were closed. His face was clearly Miroku's.
"Please forgive me for disturbing you," he said. "But I am a simple houshi, and if your intent is to rob me I have nothing for you to take."
"Look at me, Miroku-sama!"
He opened his eyes, dark blue and curious, and studied her.
"Miroku," he said. "That . . . that is my name?"
"What happened to you, Miroku-sama?"
His eyes widened.
"You! You are the miko I was traveling with, aren't you?"
She nodded. "Kagome! I'm Kagome!"
"Then Sango must be here! Where is she?"
"She's near. Miroku-sama, what happened?"
She heard Inuyasha behind her now. She turned, seeing him just outside the hut, Tetsusaiga unsheathed in his hand. Untransformed, it could do little against youkai, but the dull blade was more than a match against nearly any human.
"What's going on? What kind of trick is this?" Inuyasha asked.
"I've lost my memory," Miroku replied. "I've been searching for Sango for several days. I had the feeling she came this way. Is she in here?"
Miroku made movement toward the hut, but the tip of the sword the other man held stood rigid in the air, only inches before the monk's chest.
"Just a damn minute," the man seethed. He took the opportunity to grab Kagome's arm and pull her behind him. The katana remained leveled at his opponent.
"What are you? Naraku? Did Naraku reanimate you like he did Kohaku?"
He backed away. "Naraku? Kohaku?" He lowered his eyes in thought. "Maybe?"
Inuyasha growled.
"Inuyasha," Kagome said, gripping the back of his hunting jacket, "He doesn't have a Shikon shard. He's not like Kohaku. And he doesn't smell like a demon, does he?"
"Keh," Inuyasha muttered. "How the hell should I know? I can't smell anything at all."
"Yes you can," Kagome said. "You can still sense youkai. You'd smell one if it was standing right in front of you."
"Youkai?" Miroku gasped. "You think I'm youkai?"
"You have a better explanation? You were a dead man last we saw you." Inuyasha sneered. "We've been tricked before."
Miroku shrugged. "I guess I don't. I can't explain what happened to me." He looked up at them. "All I know is that I dug out of my own grave a few days ago, and the only thought in my mind was to find a girl named Sango. I felt – I still feel – that once I find her everything will be made right. Maybe she'll unleash my memories." He shook his head. "Or maybe she won't. I don't care, but I need to see her, and I need to see her now!"
On his last word he heard a gasp from somewhere nearby. He turned towards the woods behind the cabin, and when he did he saw quite clearly a young woman in a white and pink yukata staring at him. She looked afraid, or perhaps simply amazed.
When he saw her face he knew, he knew, he knew it was her. Sango. His Sango. Lovely Sango. Beautiful Sango.
She caught his stare and turned into the woods, running.
He was after her. The two people who had confronted him had no chance to react. He closed half the distance before the clay bowl he carried ever struck the ground.
"Damn," Inuyasha muttered. He was about to run, but Kagome grabbed his shoulder.
"Don't!" she pleaded. He turned to her, saw her eyes quaver.
Dammit, Kagome, don't cry. I hate it when you do that.
"Don't stop him," she said. "He's not going to hurt her. I'm sure of it."
Inuyasha hesitated, then sheathed his sword with a grunt.
"I still don't trust him," he said. "We better follow them."