Dora the Explorer Gone Wrong

Disclaimer: I don't own Dora. I don't want to. I'm just writing this because I'm having a cruddy day and writers block has permanently made its residence in my mind.

Warning: Mention of drugs and violence. I don't think it was fit to be "R" so, I'll just slap this on here so you can't say I didn't warn you.

Dedicated to: Your Mom, fool.

"Hola, soy Dora!" a chubby, kinda ugly girl greeted.

"She said 'Hi, I'm fat!'" Boots the monkey translated.

"No," Dora retorted "I said 'Hi, I'm Dora!'"

"Yah, but you're fat, too!" Boots said, laughter overtaking his words.

"You said you wouldn't mention it!" Dora cried.

"It's kinda obvious, Fatty!"

Boots laughed wildly as Dora ran off crying.

'While she's gone,' Boots thought to himself 'I might as well rob Backpack!'

"Backpack!" he yelled, trying to make it open. "Backpack!"

Backpack opened her eyes and sang, "I'm a Crackpack loaded up with crack and cocaine, too! Any drug that you might need, I got inside for you! Crackpack, Crackpack, Crackpack, Crackpack, YEAH!"

"What?!" boots shrieked, taken aback.

"You heard me, Boots," Backpack said "So, you want some drugs or what?"

"Well, now that you mention it," Boots pondered "I am running low on crack-cocaine."

"Great! I've just stocked up!" Backpack replied, opening up and displaying her contents around her.

"Can YOU find the crack-cocaine?!" She asked merrily.

The blue arrow came and click-beeped onto a drug.

"NO! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Backpack yelled irately "THAT'S PCP!"

She pulled out a gun and shot the arrow to its untimely demise. She then pulled out the crack-cocaine herself.

"I'll be expecting my payment soon," she said, a hint of warning in her voice.

"Tomorrow," Boots replied, taking the illegal substance and walking off.

On his way back home, Boots ran into Mr. and Mrs. Dora's Parents.

"Hola, Boots!" Mrs. Dora's Mom greeted.

"Hi," Boot responded.

"Donde esta mi hija?" Mr. Dora's Dad asked.

"Jeez, speak English for once, man!" Boots said irritably.

"Where's my daughter?" Dora's dad asked once again.

"Oh, probably at Fat Camp," Boots snickered.

"Yah, probably," Dora's mom laughed.

"You know, I used to call her 'Mi Gorda Chica' and she actually thought it was a sweet pet name," Dora's dad gasped out between laughs 'I was too afraid she'd sit on me if I told her I was making fun of her!"

After a good half hour of making fun of Dora, Boots and Dora's parents went their separate ways.

When Boots was about to enter his tree house, he heard rustling in the bushes. He went to go check it out and out came Sniper the Fox, gun in hand.

"Oh No!" Boots screeched "Sniper no sniping! Sniper no sniping! Sniper no-"

BOOM! Boots was cut off by a bullet entering his way into his chest.

"It's too late!" Sniper exclaimed. "No one will ever find your body now!"

Putting on a pair of latex gloves, Sniper shoved Boots's body into a plastic Wal-Mart bag and discarded of the remains by pitching them into the waterway near Boots's house. He then concealed the gloves by laying them to rest in the bank of the river and quickly made his way back home.

If I'm posting this what makes you think I care about your opinion? But, review at your leisure. Flame if you like. They will be used to roast Dora...and Manny from Degrassi.

I'll update, even if no one reads it...cause I'm doing this for my own weird reasons...please, do not ask.

As morbid as this story seems, it's truely good at heart. And anyone who's reading this and doesn't like it can bite a cow, because if you don't like it...don't read it. Got it? good.

Until next time:

Meatwad0404