Disclaimer: This story is for entertainment purposes only. I don't own the Charmed characters. I wish I owned Cole though! I'd keep him locked up in my basement…. ;O)
Set: Season 4, Cole's not evil. They all live at the manor together.
A/N: This story was cleaned up and edited on June 27, 2008.
This songfic is dedicated to CharmedSnow, because she is always supporting whatever project I am working on, and she emailed me asking for another songfic. It took awhile for me to think of one, but here it is!
Beautiful Disaster
Performed by Kelly Clarkson
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme, I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I tried to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him?
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
Oh, 'cause I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long...so long
He's soft to the touch
But frayed at the ends, he breaks
He's never enough
And still he's more than I can take
Oh, and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster?
He's beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
Beautiful, beautiful disaster
Beautiful disaster
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I watch Cole standing in the moonlight that pours in the front window. He is a breathtaking sight, his hair is catching the light and reflecting brown and black. His eyes are flashing with an emotion I wouldn't try to put a name to.
His graceful and strong body makes my throat feel tight. I find that I can't breathe at the sight of him. He doesn't know that I am in the room yet, and I watch him as he drags his hands through the silky hair on his head.
He is looking for Phoebe. I'm sure of it. She snuck out of the house again tonight, I heard her leaving. I wonder if Cole knows where she goes when she leaves here. He has to know; at least he looks like he knows. I doubt he knows who she goes with though. No, that is my burden to handle alone. The worried and angry expression says a lot as he pulls the curtains back and checks for her yet again.
I know where she goes. I know who she goes with. I have known for almost a week. It didn't take long to figure it out. Phoebe would leave and ten minutes later Leo would be called 'up there'. I figured it out pretty fast.
I went through personal hell when I first figured it out. My sister and my husband are sleeping together. I noticed the looks between them. I noticed the blue lights under her bedroom door. It was bad enough the man I thought was my soul mate was messing around, it was worse that he chose my sister.
I didn't know what to do when I found out. I cried, I screamed, I made potions to blow them both up with. I debated if I should tell Cole, and I decided I couldn't bring him to feel the pain I was feeling.
I didn't confront them when I found out and I haven't yet. I am afraid to. I don't know what to tell them. I don't want to hear them tell me they are in love. I guess I keep hoping this is some kind of phase they are going through, and that Leo will realize what he has with me and stop seeing her.
I feel guilty watching Cole. I feel like I am spying on him, yet I can't take my eyes off of him. I debated if I should go back to my lonely bed or talk to him. Maybe now would be the time to tell him the truth about Phoebe and Leo.
I decide to talk to him, and I check my blue robe first, making sure I look appropriate before I step out of the shadows.
"Cole?" I said softly.
He spun around; I must have taken him off guard. "Hey Piper," he said.
"What are you doing up this late?" I ask him, stepping up to look out the window beside him. I am so close to him that I can feel the heat off of his body, I can feel his breath on my cheek as he speaks, and the soft smell of brandy tickles my nose.
"I'm just waiting for Phoebe. She went out a little bit ago, and I am worried about her," he says. He looks at me with a guilty look and bites his lip, as if he is thinking about something.
"Piper, I need to talk to you, and I guess now is the right time," he tells me, gently taking my arm and leading me to the couch. He sits me down, and takes the seat beside me.
I can smell his aftershave, and I am again taken back by this man. "Cole, what's going on?" I ask him.
"Piper, I'm going to tell you something, but it may hurt you. I have put doing this off, I don't want to be the one to tell you, but you need to know," he says, his voice thick.
I study his eyes, and then I realize what he wants to tell me. He knew about Leo and Phoebe too.
I raise my hand up to stop him. "Cole, I know what you are going to say. I already know. I thought you didn't know," I said.
"About Leo and Phoebe? I have known for about a week," he said softly. "How about you?"
"About a week," I whisper, and then the tears begin to stream down my face.
Cole reached up to hug me, pulling me against his hard chest. His warm arms are tight around me. I wonder what it would be like to be naked in his embrace.
I shake my head. It must be because of Leo and Phoebe that I am thinking this way. My mind is confused and hurt, so it's feeling stupid things and sending silly signals.
I stayed in his embrace and cried until no more tears could come out. Finally I sat up and looked at Cole.
His face was inches from mine; his hands were still wrapped around my waist from the comforting embrace he had offered me.
I looked into his eyes and saw the pain in them shinning, matching the pain in my own eyes. They were red where he had been battling his own tears. I study his face without pulling away.
"You are so beautiful," he whispers to me.
Part of me feels like I should run, I know what's about to happen, and it shouldn't. But, part of me wants it to happen. I want to hurt Phoebe for what she is doing to me. I want to hurt Leo. But, most of all, I suddenly want to taste this man sitting before me. This man that I have lived with for six months but never cast a second glance at until tonight.
I want to feel his hair between my fingers, I want to feel his lips scorching my body. I want to be with a man who wants to be with me.
I don't pull away when his face leans in, letting his lips meet mine. His kiss is soft at first. Light feather brushes across my lips. Slowly he pulls away and looks at me; like he was trying to make sure I was okay with this.
He brought his lips back to mine and kissed me harder, running his tongue along my lips. I open my mouth to him, and let him taste me.
Before I realize what we are doing, his hands have undone the belt on my robe, letting it fall back to reveal my blue silk nightgown.
I know I should stop him right now. I should get up and run to my room, locking the door. Instead I toss the robe off, and reach to undo his pants.
His lips were burning me up, everywhere they touched me, and I felt fire. Nothing had ever felt this hot before. I shivered with delight as his hands lifted my nightgown over my head and his kisses traveled down my body. I didn't protest when I felt him move my legs around his waist.
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I woke up the next morning in Phoebe's room. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw her dresser and I sat up trying to figure out how I got there, looking around.
Cole is sleeping beside me. He is naked, the sheets wrapped around his waist. His chest is bare and his leg is hanging out of the sheet, showing off his toned muscles. I look down to see that I am naked as well.
I remember last night now. We made love on the couch, before he shimmered us up here, where we made love more than once.
I groaned as I lay back down on Phoebe's pillow, as far away from Cole as I could get without falling off the bed.
I look over at him. Why did I do this? Why didn't I stop it? But I know why. I wanted him. He looked so sexy, so dark, so tempting, and I wanted to taste the forbidden fruit. I was hurting and he eased the pain.
It could never work though, Cole and I. I'm not Phoebe. I can't deal with the ex-demon status. I don't have the ability to cope with such darkness, such personal torment. I am not weak, I just don't enjoy drama.
I study his face, knowing that last night shouldn't have happened, and knowing that whatever feelings I may have developed, we could never work. There is a smile on his lips; I have to wonder to myself what he is dreaming of.
Once I leave this bed, we will go back to being brother-in-law and sister-in-law. We will go back to ignoring our cheating spouses, and living in our painful bubbles.
I jump as he opens his eyes to study me. I smile at him. "I didn't know you were awake," I said to him.
"I didn't know you were," he says back with a grin. He reaches for me, and pulls me towards him. "Piper, I'm sorry," he says to me softly, and then he places a gentle kiss on my lips.
"It's okay Cole. It's my fault to,." I told him.
"Piper, I really want you to believe me when I tell you that I am falling in love with you," he said.
My heart stopped. Cole loves me? No! It can't be. He didn't just say that.
"Cole…I…," I stutter.
"I could love you Piper," he said again.
I jumped out of the bed quickly, grabbing the blanket and wrapping it around my waist. "I have to go," I said, running from the bedroom quickly.
I made it to my room, shutting the door. I dropped the sheet and quickly threw on a pair of jeans and sweatshirt. I was pulling my hair in a ponytail when he shimmered into the bedroom.
"Piper, stop," he said, standing in front of me.
"What Cole?" I ask, trembling.
"What did I say wrong? I want to love you Piper. I'm sorry if that scares you. I have always felt something for you. And last night when we…when we made love, I realized I love you. I know you are hurting right now, but give me a chance. We can leave Phoebe and Leo to each other, and we can be together," he says, taking my hand.
I study that face, and think about his words. I think it might be love that I feel for him. I definitely feel something for him. I think about who he is though. Not just as my brother-in-law, but who he is as a person, a half demon.
I have to wonder if he is as damned as he seems. One night with him and I realized hat the man is more heaven than a heart could hold, and I know that. If I tried to save him, my whole world could cave in. Would I be willing to risk it?
I look into his eyes, and I know that no matter how much he may love me, or how much I love him, I can't do it.
I feel tears come to my eyes as I look into his face.
"Why not Piper?" he says, his voice cracking.
"Because you are a beautiful disaster," I tell him, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth before walking away from him, leaving him to stand there, and leaving my heart with him.