The Devil Comes Back to Retroville

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 5:

The first stage following any traumatic event is denial. After first realizing that he was in love with Cindy Jimmy spent the next hour or so trying to convince himself that he was in shock, delirious, unconscious, or anything other than being in love with her. After he had ruled out each possibility he then tried to take his mind off the topic entirely by diving into some advanced quantum mechanics, but gave up when his equations all ended up as some variation of J.N. C.V. = 4EVER. At length Jimmy was forced to admit that the feelings truly were there and from force of habit he tried to think things through.

"Okay," he told himself, "this isn't the end of the world. Nobody knows about this, and if I keep it under control nobody ever has to know. And maybe," he added hopefully, "this isn't permanent. People in Hollywood fall in and out of love all the time. Maybe all I need to do is wait and it will go away on its own." He sat down and took a few deep breaths to steady himself. "That's better. I feel calm and relaxed. Everything is going to be fine."

After fifteen seconds he suddenly he jumped up again and began walking franticly about the lab. "It's not going away! Why isn't it going away?" he demanded in desperation. "This is terrible! All I can think about is being with her! What am I going to do?" He swung towards Goddard. "Goddard! Options!"

At Jimmy's order Goddard opened the cover to his video screen to reveal the words:

GIVE GODDARD THE CAN YOU PROMISED HIM.

"Later, Goddard," Jimmy said, impatiently. "This is serious. Next."

Goddard then displayed the message:

JOIN THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION.

Jimmy shook his head. "That's no good. I'm not old enough to join without Mom's and Dad's permission and they'd never agree to it. Well, Dad might sign if I caught him when he was busy with his duck collection, but Mom would never agree. Next."

Goddard's viewscreen then showed:

DISCUSS IT WITH A TRUSTED PEER GROUP.

Jimmy thought about it. Talking about his feelings with someone somehow struck a sympathetic chord with Jimmy. "I guess that might work, " he admitted. "I'm sure that Sheen and Carl have had these feelings. They might know how to deal with them. And even if they don't it would be interesting to see what they think about other things. Thanks, Goddard." He glanced at the chicken-shaped kitchen clock set to Retroville time and saw that it was shortly after 4:00, presumably in the afternoon. If he had labored all night he was sure that his mother would have called him. About this time of day Carl and Sheen were either at the Candy Bar or watching one of their Saturday afternoon programs. Jimmy decided to chance the Candy Bar, as in the event that Carl and Sheen were not present there might be someone else like Nick there that might be able to help him.

Although it wasn't especially far to the Candy Bar Jimmy used his jet pack to get there, partly because he was in a hurry and partly because he didn't want to run into anybody on the way over. He made it to his destination without mishap and was relieved to find that Carl and Sheen were both there having a soda and one of their many differences of opinion about nothing in particular.

"And I say," Sheen was arguing hotly, "that there is no way that Ultra Lord would ever be partners with some dufus named the Galactic Gaucho with some twerpy sidekick named Llama Lad!"

"And why not?" Carl demanded just as fervently.

"For three very good reasons" Sheen replied as he ticked off the reasons on his fingers and tried to remain calm. "Because first, gauchos come from Argentina and llamas come from Peru. Second, there are no cows in space for the Galactic Gaucho to ride herd on. And third, it's a stupid idea!"

"Uh, hi guys," Jimmy interrupted before Carl could reply. "What's going on?"

"Sheen is maliciously pre-empting my self-validation by unjustly and arbitrarily stifling my creativity," Carl sulked as Jimmy slid into the booth.

Sheen stared at him. "What does that mean?"

Carl shrugged. "I don't know. It was in a lot of the notes that Miss Fowl sent to my mom."

"Was she pretty mad about those?" Sheen asked.

"Not really. She thought they were better than the other notes about the…" he lowered his voice to a whisper, "…accidents I used to have."

"So, guys," Jimmy interrupted again, "do you feel like having a discussion?"

"We were having a discussion," observed Sheen. "I was winning."

"What about, Jimmy?" asked Carl in an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh, I don't know," Jimmy answered, trying to sound nonchalant. "Just as a randomly selected topic without any prior thought or preparation, do either of you ever think about…girls?"

"Sure," Sheen replied.

"All the time," agreed Carl.

Jimmy was astonished and felt better. "Really?"

"Absolutely," said.Sheen. "I can't help but continually debate whether lizards or insects are the best way to get them to keep their distance."

"And I can't forget that all the girls in our class said they'd beat me senseless if I ever went into the girls' room again," Carl offered.

Sheen looked outraged. "What? That was over three years ago! And it wasn't your fault if the boys' room was full that day." He looked thoughtful. "That reminds me. Did they ever serve that casserole in the lunch room again?"

"Well –," Carl began.

"Guys!" Jimmy said quietly but urgently. "That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about…" He looked quickly around to make sure no one else was within earshot. "…about affairs de coeur."

Carl and Sheen looked blank. "Not following you, Jimmy," Sheen responded at last.

Jimmy tried again. "The gentle arts?" he hinted.

"You got me," answered Carl.

Being blunt seemed the only remaining option. "Girlfriends?"

Sheen's and Carl's faces both lit up. "Oh, that!" Sheen answered, then shook his head. "Nope."

"Never," agreed Carl.

Jimmy was outraged. "What do you mean, 'nope' and 'never'?" he demanded. "What about Beautiful Gorgeous?"

"Oh, come now, Jimmy," Sheen answered with great dignity. "Surely you realize that was merely a schoolboy infatuation."

"So you're saying that you're not interested in her anymore?" Jimmy asked hopefully.

"Of course I do. I'm still a schoolboy."

"And she's awful pretty," Carl volunteered. "Just like Jud – I mean, some other girl I know," he finished lamely.

"But…but…if you're both still infatuated with her," Jimmy stammered, "how is it that you don't think about her at all?"

Sheen thought about it. "I suppose," he said slowly, "that since she's never around I don't have much reason to really dwell on it."

"And I can think about your – I mean, about someone else," added Carl.

Jimmy seized on Sheen's clue. "But what about someone you like who is always around, like Libby?"

"Hmm…" Sheen pondered the idea. "Good question. I guess that comes down to a balanced mixture of self-discipline and self-preservation."

"Self-preservation?"

Sheen sighed. "She said that if I didn't stop bugging her that she'd knock my block off."

"She did?" Jimmy felt perplexed. As he understood it, girls supposedly wanted to be noticed and attract boys. But they threatened the boys who were attracted? Or was that just between Libby and Sheen? "Does she threaten other people, like Nick?"

"I don't know," Sheen answered with a shrug. "I don't pry into her private relationships." He paused for a moment and gingerly rubbed his arm as if remembering a painful injury. "Any more."

"Why don't you ask her, Jimmy?" Carl suggested pointing towards the door. "She's just coming in now with Cindy."

Jimmy froze. Cindy? he thought in a panic. I can't see her now. There's no telling what I might say to her! He gave a quick glance in the direction in which Carl was pointing and saw with some relief that neither girl seemed to be paying them any attention. But Cindy kept looking around her, almost as though she were worried about something. But worried about what? Jimmy had not spoken with her or even seen her since that morning. A cold chill ran down his spine as a possibility crept into his mind. Had she somehow learned of his feelings for her?

As for Cindy, she had seen but paid no heed to Jimmy, Carl, or Sheen as her mind was preoccupied with a more important matter. She felt that someone was still watching her, and she was almost sure it was the stranger from earlier that day even though she couldn't see him.

And unnoticed by either Jimmy or Cindy, Lou leaned casually against the wall in an obscure corner of the room, smiling contently. Time for Phase 3, he thought.

End of Part 5