The Haradrim was sleeping soundly, Legolas could tell by the obnoxious snoring. His eyes narrowed in annoyance, how he wished he could just smite the ridiculous creature. He had been overjoyed when he felt cold mental against the tips of his fingers and now he was in the process of picking the very stubborn lock that bound his hands. The pin however, seemed to have no intention of cooperating. This was made much worse by the position his hands were in, facing up and away from each other. Long fingers are good for more than the obvious it seems, he thought smugly.

The stout Haradrim gave off another snort in her sleep, making Legolas cringe. Even Gimli wasn't this bad. Ugh, he thought when he distinctly saw a bit of drool slide down her cheek. If this was what a lady Haradrim was like, what must the men be...Oh gross! Legolas thought, not enjoying that prospect at all.

This seemed enough to renew his energy and before long, he had positioned the pin just right and the iron bands fell open. Relief flooded him as he stretched his arms way over his head. Now, he could just slip out and lock her in. No...he would have to tell someone, but what would he say? "Yes, you know that Haradrim you have in chains, yes well, I let her out." And then of course, with that little show she had put on. Oh heavens what would they think! That defiantly was NOT an option. Maybe if he was very careful, he could pick her up and put the chains back on. Yes! That was it.

He walked silently over to the corner of the bed. Reaching down, he touched her shoulder, gauging any response. He pulled his hands back and made a face when he saw the saliva that had pooled on her pillow. He reached down again, slipping a hand behind her shoulders and then under her knees. He felt the tickle of short, coarse hairs and his eyes widened. No maiden he had ever seen had hair on their legs. Nor any other parts of their bodies, well despite the obvious. Intrigued, he bent his head a bit closer, peering at the furred legs. But she chose just that instant to shift and her knee came up, catching him right in the nose.

Yelping, Legolas fell back ungraciously on his rump, his hands placed delicately over his injured face. His eyes watered and he blinked away the moisture. Damn that woman! She is insufferable even in sleep! But right now he could not afford to take the time and nurse his beautiful nose. Sniffling, then whimpering with the pain that had induced, he crawled back on his knees. Again, he slipped his hands under her, but this time he ignored the desire to sate his curiosity.

He rose to his feet, intending to take her with him but she was like a lead pipe. He tried again, but she hardly budged. Legolas narrowed his eyes. So, she sought to best him again. Well he would teach her a lesson. He spread his feet, and bent at the knees, bracing himself. This time he pulled as hard as he could, his face contorted with exertion. She succeeded in lifting her all the way into his arms, but he would never be able to get across the room. Dropping her back as gently as possible, he thanked the Valar she slept like the dead.

This was not going to work. Miffed, he crossed his arms and surveyed the room. There was nothing to put her on and roll, so that was out of the question. For a moment he contemplated just tying her to the bed, but someone would still be down later to check on her and there would be a huge uproar over who had moved her.

Grumbling, he decided he would have to drag her. Please let her not wake up, he begged. Summoning up his courage, he grasped both her wrists and braced himself. He started pulling slowly Mandos, was she heavy! He had her upper body half-way off the bed, with her legs up in the air. If he hadn't been so frustrated, he would have taken the time to laugh at what an amusing picture she made. Grasping her un-booted ankles, he lifted slightly before dropping them on the floor. He winced when he heard the loud thud, but she continued snoring.

Grabbing hold of her arms again, he hauled her towards the shackles on the other side of the room. The frustrating "tug, stop, rest, tug, stop, rest" was driving him crazy. And through it all, she just lay unconscious like an extremely heavy sack of Sam's potatoes. Sighing with relief when he got close enough to hook her wrists into the chains, he grabbed her hand and tugged it upwards.

After that, everything seemed to happen all at once. As soon as her hand touched the cold metal, her eyes shot open and she threw him to the ground. Not even giving him time to recover, she leapt on top of him, driving all the air from his lungs in one big whoosh. He saw stars and felt a little light-headed, but he could distinctly make out the sound of wheezing. Of course, he had no idea what she had any business making that noise for, she wasn't the one who'd just been attacked. His eyes cleared enough for him to see her shoulders shaking, more wheezing sounds coming from her mouth. She was laughing. Who laughs like that?

She was still sitting on his chest, which made it exceedingly difficult to breath. He tried to tell her as much, but before he had time to voice his discomfort, she rolled off of him and onto her feet. Next she did something completely ridiculous; she offered him her hand. With an indignant growl which soon turned to a wince, he cambered to his feet. She just shrugged her shoulders and went back to sit on the bed.

He was shocked for a moment that he had allowed her to win so easily. And what was that sudden nice business she was trying to pull? He eyed her warily, but she did not seem in the least bit disturbed.

"What is your problem?" She asked in a seemingly very interested voice.

"I don't have a problem."

"Ha, sure thing honey." Legolas was taken aback at the endearment. Stepping closer, he watched curiously as she began combing her hair. At first, he was appalled at the brutal nature she treated it. He couldn't bare hair to be abused, no matter what an unfavorable head it was on.

"Stupid human." He grumbled as he walked over and jerked the comb from her hand.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked indignantly, all trace of kindness gone from her voice. Legolas was not put off by it.

"I am going to teach you how to do this right." He said and proceeded to begin untangling the tortured strands.

"Brushing your hair is not like waging war you know." He said, still mad. "It is like making a beautiful painting, or writing an eloquent poem." He grinned mischievously. "And making love."

"That's so corny." She said, her voice exasperated.

"Which part?"

"All of it."

Legolas was now severely insulted. "You couldn't possibly appreciate the art and beauty. You are a human after all." Ah and the card was played. Now she would stand up and put her hands on her hips and tell insult him. And he would laugh. But to his surprise, she did no such thing.

"Yes, you are right." Her nonchalant attitude bothered him. "And you know why we humans don't appreciate it? Because we don't care."

"You have never been in love?" Wow, Legolas thought, where did that come from?!

"Sure I have. You?" She did not elaborate and he did not press the matter. But he was more than willing to share his experiences.

"Oh yes, many times."

"What were they like? The women you fell in love with?"

Legolas smiled wistfully. "Oh they were all wonderful, but none could compare to my greatest love. She was beautiful, wise, powerful and the most excellent warrior I have ever seen."

"Really? How powerful?" This seemed to peak the greatest interest.

"She could do anything. She could heal wounds, read minds, fight millions of foes against incredible odds. AND she was the lost mortal daughter of Elrond!" Legolas saw his companions eyebrows raise. Wait, companion? Adversary was more like it.

"So you are bound to her?" An odd question, Legolas thought.

"No, not anymore. She died many years ago." Legolas felt his eyes mist as he spoke of her.

"How did she die?" The mortal woman actually sounded concerned.

"She blocked an arrow, which would have surely killed me. Instead it took her own life. Even with her dying breath she was selfless, telling me to love another and be happy."

"What was her name?"

Legolas sighed. "Why...Mary-Sue of course."