Chapter One: Calm Before the Gingersnaps
A world of shadows, lost within shadows. Great tidal waves, spiralling into the past. A rainbow of colours: dark and desolate to look at. Above, a great eye gazing down through the abyss of shadows, into the very soul. "Hurrryy!"
"Williamina! Wake up! Hurry, you have to get ready for the show tonight, your highness!" A soft, yet commanding female voice called from the doorway.
"Ahh! Huh? Oh, I was dreaming... I'm awake Blinky. Thank you." Williamina awoke with a start. She shot up in bed, her long brown hair a tangled mess around her. She rubbed her deep brown eyes as she shook the night's sleep away from her. She felt cold, despite the heat of summer. That chilling dream... It seemed like something from her memories, but she never experienced anything like that. "Stupid dreams! How annoying and haunting they are. I wish that they would just leave me alone for once. Can't those dreams see that I'd be happier without them? Well, it could be worse I suppose. I guess I'd better start getting ready then. There are more pressing matters to deal with," she said to herself, dismissing the fantasy.
She tossed the covers aside and slid out of bed. Her night gown was loosely wrapped around her. Williamina slowly stepped over to the window, and opened the shutter. There was a blinding light that entered the room. She hadn't realized that she slept in so late. As her eyes adjusted to the light, her vision focused on a flock of beautiful white birds. They fluttered near her window, then flew off above the mighty city of Kelly, towards a great airship that was rolling in.
"Ugh, where's the fraggin' ale? That Baka better not have hid it on me again!" A hairy, blonde, young moneky-like man muttered to himself. There was the distinct scent of whiskey on his breath. His garments were made of patchy leather, covered in dirt and grime. There was a small hole in his pants that a tail stuck out of. None of this was visible, however, as he was wobbling around a small room in the dark. There was a loud banging sound, followed by an angry, pain-filled scream. "Arg! My fraggin' toe! Stupid thing!" There was another bang followed by another pain-filled scream as the man obviously tried to kick whatever it was he stubbed his toe on. "Where the 'ell's the light, anyway?"
Light suddenly illuminated the room. A fat, bearded gentlemen with a hammer at his belt was standing next to a lantern. "Gill, have you been drinking again?"
"No... I 'aven't been doin' nothing of the sort!"
"I can smell it all over you. Damn it Gill, I thought that you were clean for once."
"Oh shut up, Chi-zu! You aren't so perfect either!"
"Come on, the meeting's about to start. Let's go."
"I'm not goin' nowhere before I get some ale!" Gill exclaimed. He fell backwards as he said this. "Arg!"
"I thought you were supposed to be a mime," Chi-zu said, a smile crossing his lips.
"Oh shut it!"
"Brahhhg!!" a deep shout called out. The door burst open and a great dragon-headed beast burst forth, growling and roaring.
"Baka, put away the dragon costume and get ready for the meeting," ordered Chi-zu. "It looked great on New Year's, but now it's just getting tiresome... And smelly."
"Hey, who's the boss around here?" the dragon boomed.
Chi-zu just sighed and walked off into the next room.
"Rarg! Don't turn your back on a dragon! I'll set you on fire! Rarg!" The dragon-beast, Baka, reached into his back pocket and pulled out a match. He lit it. "Rar!!" He ran after Chi-zu. He didn't get far before he cried out, "I burnt my finger!" He then waddled off into the next room.
Gill just groaned as he got to his feet. He followed the other two in. After a few moments, two more joined the congregation in the room. They all sat around a small round table with a squeaky ceiling fan overhead.
"All right," Baka began, "you all know what we're gonna do right?"
"We're gonna buy some more ale? We're all out o' the fraggin' stuff," Gill grumbled as he examined an empty bottle that was lying next to him.
"No! We're going to kidnap the most beautiful woman in the land. That's right, Queen Mel."
"Uhh.." The others in the room exchanged glances. There was a long silence. Only the squeaking of the fan could be heard. The silence, and the fan, were broken when Gill tossed the bottle into the rotating blades. "I hate that fraggin' fan," he grumbled.
"Yes, anyway, we're kidnapping her during the show in Kelly," Baka continued, holding up a doll. It was wearing hideous yellow clothing, and was the fattest doll imaginable.
"Are you sure you mean Queen Mel? I don't think that all of us put together would be able to drag her into the ship," another in the group spoke up. He had red hair that spiked straight up and wore a belt around his forehead.
"Of course I do, Hakushi! I said the fairest woman. Is there anyone else that is more fair than Queen Mel?" Hakushi was about to respond when Chi-zu elbowed him in the stomach. "Now, let's get back to the plan. We're going to put on a show to distract everyone while we snatch the queen. Hakushi, you and Gill will do that. Chi-zu, you'll be ready to get us out of there as fast as a flying squirrel. Goba," a man next to Hakushi with a red bandana and bulky arms nodded at the mention of his name, "you'll be playing opposite Rini as the lead."
"What show are we doing?" Goba asked.
"I Want A New Sponge! It's a classical favourite in Kelly. Okay everyone, the show's tonight! Let's get to it!"
As the great airship flew above Kelly, its crew plotting a vile scheme, a short little fellow was wandering through the excited streets. He pulled back his long pink ears and slapped on his floppy, cone-shaped, yellow hat. His little pink nose twitched and he walked down the street as children ran by him, laughing. He was a chubby pink bunny with yellow and blue striped pants and a blue jacket.
"Weee!" a little boy yelled as he shoved past the bunny in his haste, sending him falling to the ground. The bunny slowly got back to his feet and brushed himself off. He looked ahead at the kid, who was now far ahead of him. He started running at an amazing speed, catching up to the snot nosed brat that pushed him over. He hopped up, and landed on the kid's back. He straightened out his hat, and continued onward merrily as the child sobbed.
He came to a ring of shops, and in the centre was a ticket booth. He walked up to it, excited about the show tonight. There was a sign above the ticket vendor that read: The Tempura Theatre Company Presents: I Want A New Sponge. The top of the floppy hat barely reached over the counter. He produced a ticket from his pocket, hopped up, and put it on the counter.
The vendor examined the ticket carefully. "Hmm... There's something unusual about this ticket," he said to himself. He sniffed it. "Ah, here's the problem. Sorry kid, but it's a fake. It's made from pickle-paper. All of the tickets we sell are made from cucumber-paper. Hey, don't get upset on me. Tell ya what, how about I give you some really crappy cards that my kids wanted to throw out? I told them that I could probably give them away to some poor, disadvantaged child in the slums." The vendor smiled warmly to himself at doing such a good deed for the little bunny and handed him some wrinkled, rain damaged playing cards. The cards depicted pictures of various half-naked warriors drinking blood from skulls and standing triumphantly on wolf corpses. It was just the sort of thing that kids loved, apparently.
The bunny shuffled away angrily, cramming the cards into his pocket. Suddenly, a little rat-boy, a little shorter than himself, ran up to him. He wore a red train conductor's hat, and had strange, flannel overalls. His pointy nose wiggled as he talked.
"Hey," he said, "I saw what happened to ya. I tell ya what... I can let you see the show for free if you promise me something." The bunny looked at him curiously. "You must become my slave for all eternity! Moo-hahaha! Or... Just grab me that ladder over there and follow me." He pointed to a ladder and then quickly sped off.
The little rose rabbit, not wanting to miss out on the show, dutifully grabbed the ladder and chased off after the rat-boy. They came to a crumbling old church in the slums of Kelly. The rat stopped beneath a ladder. "Oh, by the way, I didn't catch your name. Mine's Puke. And don't you think of making fun of me because of it."
"My name's Evee," the rabbit said in a squeaky, almost timid voice. "So, if there's already a ladder here, why did you need me to grab one for you, Puke?"
"Oh, no reason. I just wanted to see if you'd do it." He grinned, and waved for Evee to follow as he started climbing the ladder. He quickly followed. When they reached the top, they were beneath a bell about the size of Evee. "This way." Puke ran off again and the bunny was in hot pursuit. They were speeding across the rooftops of Kelly, hopping from one place to the next, and crossing over make-shift bridges. At last, they crossed a final plank of wood. The two were right amongst the audience now. They were just in time to, for the show was just about to begin.
A large man wearing a great, white, fur robe stepped into the middle of the stage. He was also wearing a large dragon mask. "Ladies, gentlemen, you damned punk kids that decided to sneak in and not pay... Little dastards... This is money out of our own pockets you punks! I should seek you out on the rooftops and beat every last one of you! Erm.. Anyway, ladies, gentlemen, Princess Williamina and Queen Mel, thank you for joining us for the Tempura Theatre Company's presentation of... I Want A New Sponge ! Let's begin the show!"