Ai No Ejiki

by Suki No Hikari

Bakura hates Ryou because he’s weak. Ryou hates Bakura because of his beatings. But when one of Bakura’s beatings get serious and Ryou goes blind, the only one he can trust to be his eyes is Bakura. Can love overcome hate? BR Shounen-ai! FINAL CHAPTER

7. Comprehension

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou (I'm spelling it like that now! It actually takes a lot less time without the extra capitalization and hyphens [-]).

Author Ramblings: Thanks everyone once again! Your inspiration through your reviews helped me to get this out! I love you all so much! 2,366 hits! Yay! At least people are reading this story!

Author Reasons: Why did I get this out so fast you ask? Well, it's because I NEED to finish this by the end of the summer so I can get my plot bunnies rolling on another fanfiction of Bakura and Ryou! Duh. Heh… ::sweatdrop:: Also, my reviewers inspired me so much! And the plot bunny came for a visit and gave me sweet pocky boxes full of nice ideas! n.n

I'm done, don't want to waste too much space! If you need to see the key again (don't know why you would unless you start reading my story at this chapter O.o), then go back a chapter. I'll post it again on chapter eight, just in case.

WARNING: This chapter will probably contain lots of descriptive paragraphs (personally I hate reading those kinds) but still read them! I'm just warning you that the first five paragraphs might be kind of ongoing but they're short, so it shouldn't be too bad.

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Title: Ai No Ejiki

(Victim of Love)

Author: Suki No Hikari

Rating: PG-13

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Recap:

'But, he protected you, remember? He's changing… can't you see?' A little voice in the back of Ryou's mind protested. 'Give him a chance…' Ryou frowned and answered. 'He never gave me one! Never… I begged him to stop beating me so many times… the bruises may fade, but the scars he's created will never go away.' Ryou grimaced at the flashbacks and blocked away his thoughts. 'Never.'

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Chapter Seven : Comprehension

Bakura's Point of View:

I flopped down on the bed of my soul room, trying to clear the upsetting things I've seen the past couple of days. I don't know many things about how to calculate time, but I know I've been in this ring for a while now. A week, was that Ryou called it? Ryou… I've found out so many things about you… and in the worse possible way. I can't believe I actually did that. It scares me to remember, but I shouldn't lock it away and forget, either. My heart feels like it has stopped and my lungs are no longer taking in air, but I know I'm breathing fine. But I bet I didn't breathe at all two days ago… when I saw it. When I saw him.

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Normal Point of View

Bakura started to pace around his soul room, Ryou's words still buzzing in his ears from four days ago. 'He hates me…' Bakura thought to himself, entwining some fingers in his messy hair. 'He truly loathes me.' The distraught yami fell to his knees. 'I didn't want it to be like this! I wasn't supposed to go soft… but I did. I wasn't supposed to tell Ryou anything… but I did. I never realized three words could hurt so much.' Bakura shook his head, chasing away Ryou's face that was flashing behind his closed eyes. Utmost hatred. What other words could describe such a look? Bakura pounded his fist against the ground once before swiftly standing up.

He looked around his soul room. Weapons, blood, but most of all, darkness. Pitch black darkness. It all surrounded him. Taunting him. "Look what you've done!" it seemed to say. "You've become me… you've become the extreme darkness. Just because you couldn't live with your past…" Blocking out the ruthless echoes, Bakura kept searching; he knew there must be light here somewhere. So he searched, groping through the darkness until he found a door. A small wooden door, barely as tall as he was. Bakura opened it slowly – cautiously – and watched as a faint light began to fill his soul room. Looking inside, he saw that it was only a tiny, completely white painted room. And right in the middle of this small white room that emitted such light, was his one and only hikari. Well, not his real one – this was an illusion.

Bakura looked at the sweet Ryou. With wings spreading from his back, resting on the soft ground. 'I knew it was here somewhere. Ryou has become the only light in my dark soul right now.' Bakura smiled. A true, genuine smile. A smile directed right at this Ryou. 'He really is an angel.' Bakura's smile faded. 'I can't let him go this easily. I need to know what I can do to stop him from hating me.' Bakura thought to himself.

(AN: This next part was SUPPOSED to be italized, but for some reason, the quick edit wouldn't let me do it. So we're still apart of the flashback here! Anything between the two '-----'s is a flashback, okay?)

Without another thought, Bakura closed the miniature door, knowing that the angel could never actually be the true Ryou. However, that didn't matter because he knew what he had to do. Bakura explored his soul room, trying to find a way out. He came upon a tall, black gate - to go with the décor of his room, he figured. Opening it, he gazed out into a hallway. Nothing special. Just… a hallway. He knew where he was; he'd traveled around here before. Bakura turned left and started to head for Ryou's soul room.

Bakura found Ryou's entrance, a rusted, solemn-looking iron gate. Of course, he'd never actually been in this room before. Before Bakura had received his own body, Ryou had always carried the Millennium Ring around with him and kept this room locked at all times. It carried his thoughts, his secrets, and his heart. Plus, at the time, Bakura hadn't really cared to venture in here. He opened the gate slowly, noting that yes, indeed, it was unlocked. The threat of Bakura actually coming in the place must've been eased up a bit with recent events. Ryou's overall thoughts still traveled in this room, but not directly from him. It was more of his emotions, really.

Stepping in, he was surprised to see how very un-Ryou-like the room was. Very. The walls were black, with what looked like red paint running down in long streaks down to the floor. 'It looks like…' Bakura cringed. '… blood.' Until that moment, he hadn't noticed the small figure sitting on the diminutive, tattered bed.

Bakura's eyes went wide seeing a small white-haired boy, sitting on the bed, staring out a window at a dark, gray sky. But that wasn't what was shocking him. Bakura stared at the child, lacking a shirt, he might add. His back was covered in scars, bruises, and open, bleeding cuts. The blood cascaded down the white-haired boy's back, never ending, never ceasing. It wasn't only his back, however. His arms had deep gashes and the small teen trembled, a pale finger reaching out to touch the blood on his left arm, before settling itself in his lap again. It seemed so tragic.

That was when Bakura realized it. This was the inner-Ryou. This is what his heart and soul looked like. All his inner emotions and feelings packed within this soul boy. This younger, vulnerable Ryou. And suddenly, Bakura couldn't breathe. He squeezed his eyes shut, making sure his lungs were actually working. Bakura took a deep breath.

"Ryou?" Bakura called out softly, finding it hard to locate his voice. The small boy, only about ten years old, jumped and his hands jolted to clasp around his upper arms, in a frightened position. However, he didn't turn around.

"Who's there? G-Go a-away p-please." It was barely above a whisper, but Bakura caught it, loud and clear.

"It's Bakura. Your yami."

The smaller Ryou leaped off the bed, facing Bakura. The yami noticed his jeans – slashed about twenty times with whip-like cuts letting blood seep through the holes. The boy 'eeped', noticing the taller yami, eyes widening, and he backed up to the wall, sliding down it slowly. The boy brought his legs to his knees quickly and began shaking to the point where Bakura thought he might die. Bakura took a step forward, wanting to calm the child.

"NO!" It was a loud, blood-curling scream. Bakura's heart stopped at the desperation and sorrow in that one small word. "Stay away!"

Bakura blinked, taking all this in. It was unbearable. "I won't hurt you. I promise," the yami proclaimed softly, tenderness in his words.

"No! I don't trust you! You… you hurt me!" The boy curled up tighter and squeezed his eyes shut, tears running freely from them. "Stop hurting me…"

Bakura was confused. "Who gave you all those cuts?" He asked, changing the subject. The boy looked up slowly, bewilderment etched across his features.

"D-don't you r-remember? Y-you did this…" the boy told Bakura meekly.

"No I didn't… did I?" Bakura wondered aloud. The boy blinked a couple times.

"You've been doing it for y-years! H-how could you forget?" Bakura's eyes grew large as it hit him. Every time… every time he beat Ryou… this is what happened to his heart… to this small boy. The wounds never stopped bleeding… Bakura's beatings still remained locked far away… in this small child. Bakura could feel himself shudder. 'What have I done?'

Bakura gazed at the small child, who was still trembling. "Is there anything I can do?"

The child blinked, pausing to look at Bakura closely. "You… you can't be my yami… who are you?"

"I'm… Bakura." The child shook his head.

"You can't be! My yami was very mean to me. My yami hurt me and his eyes were always so dark and scary! But your eyes… your eyes are kind… I like your eyes. They're pretty," the little Ryou mused, smiling softly. Bakura considered the child's words.

"Would you like for me to tell you a story, Ryou?" Bakura requested softly. The child's eyes lit up and his face broke into a smile.

"Really? Really?! I love stories!" Bakura nodded and the child stood up quickly, as if the wounds weren't affecting him at all. Bakura went and sat on the bed, where the child had situated himself. He examined the small Ryou, frowning. Bakura took off his sweatshirt and wrapped it around the boy, leaving him only in a t-shirt. The child smiled appreciatively and bounced on the bed.

"Tell me about Egypt! I love Egypt stories! Even though my yami was mean, he once told me a story about Egypt! It was really cool!" The child chirped happily and Bakura eyed the child, surprised. 'That must mean… somewhere deep within this child… Ryou must have enjoyed that story I told him. There's hope for me yet.' Bakura smirked slightly.

(AN: Same thing here... it wouldn't italsize damnit!)

The little child giggled. "You're funny! Your face changes so fast!" Ryou then commenced in doing a show of funny faces. "You were like that! So many different Bakura faces!" Bakura smiled slightly.

"But you know, Bakura-san…" The child started softly. "I said bad things to my yami and now he's gone away. I feel lonely. I wish he would come back. He protected me and cared for me a couple days ago… and guess what happened? My cuts stopped bleeding! I was so happy. But for some reason… the feeling of being mad didn't go away…"

Bakura patted the child on his head, producing a small smile. Bakura understood now. "I think your yami is lonely too… and I think that Ryou should still give him a chance. If he protected Ryou, then he must care for him a lot. So much more than Ryou knows. I'm sure of it."

The child smiled. "I want to give him a chance! I really do! But… the cuts won't stop bleeding… and the scars still stay… I kind of want him to apologize…"

Bakura nodded. "I understand. So you wanted to hear a story about Egypt?" The child bounced again, nodding happily.

"Okay, I'll tell you a story about Egypt," Bakura replied softly and started.

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Bakura's Point of View

That had been for days ago, and that small kid has been visiting me ever since. I wondered how lonely it must be for him. Sitting everyday in the same melancholy room, bleeding, probably wishing the world would end. Is that how Ryou feels about his life? Did I cause this?

I shake my head gently, feeling my hair grow static from the sheets on the bed. These have been familiar thoughts to me lately and I know that the small Ryou is a direct result of what I have done. I never knew it was that bad. I never knew I scarred him so much. So, when I woke up this morning, I knew that I had to stop hiding. I have to face Ryou again and come out of this Millennium Ring.

"I said bad things to my yami and now he's gone away. I feel lonely. I wish he would come back. He protected me and cared for me a couple days ago… and guess what happened? My cuts stopped bleeding! I was so happy. But for some reason… the feeling of being mad didn't go away…"

Those words have been replaying in my head every hour of every day. I know that I just have to show Ryou that I'm worth giving a second chance. Ryou may not want to admit it, but that little child told me everything he wants to feel. Even though… he can't. Because I made him suffer and all those memories still remain.

I sat up, ready to finally leave. If Ryou still doesn't accept me after my apology, then I'll lock myself up in here. My affection for him has come to a point where I'd much rather see him happy than anything else. With that final thought, I exit the Millennium Ring.

Normal Point of View

It became a beautiful Tuesday morning as Ryou stretched and got out of bed. He looked over at his alarm clock and could distantly make out eight thirty something or other. Ryou beamed, realizing how fantastic it was to see again. 'Like they all say… you never really appreciate something until it's gone!' Ryou jumped out of bed and began to make his way downstairs. He really wanted some pancakes this morning! As he continued downstairs, he nearly gasped when he saw Bakura sitting on the living room couch.

"B-Bakura!" Ryou stuttered out, shocked that he had come out of the Millennium Ring. The yami looked up, just detecting the company at that moment, surprised also at how keen Ryou's eyesight had become over the past week.

"Hi… Ryou." Bakura spoke softly, not wanting to upset his hikari once again. "Umm… do you need any help with anything? I promise I'll stay out of your way."

Ryou's eyes went wide at the gentleness of his yami's tone. "S-sure! I was just going to make pancakes, in fact! Want to help?" Bakura nodded and stood up, heading for the kitchen. Ryou smiled happily, enjoying the company that he had been lacking the past week. Even if Bakura were a complete jerk at night, he would normally get civil conversations with him during the day. And, as much as Ryou hated to admit it, he had missed Bakura. Greatly.

"Okay!" Ryou hopped into the kitchen, strangely hyper for having been so mad before. "Pancakes, pancakes! Making pancakes! Blueberry, strawberry, chocolate chip! So many kinds of pancakes! Pancakes, pancakes! Making pancakes with Bakura!" Ryou sang and giggled sincerely when he finished. Bakura couldn't help but smile (again!) at his hikari's joy. This was truly the best feeling of all… to see the one you care for being happy.

Bakura stepped in the kitchen and waited for Ryou's instructions. "Alright yami, first we need to get the cooking supplies! We need a pan, a spatula, a mixing bowl, a measuring cup, and a measuring spoon! [1]"

Bakura looked at his hikari incredulously. "Umm… I've never heard of any of that before… and what the hell is a speculma?!" Ryou took a glance at his yami's confused face and broke out laughing. Suddenly, however, he stopped and covered his mouth with his hand, letting out a small gasp.

"Are you okay, hikari?" Bakura questioned, worriedly.

Ryou smiled softly. "That's the first time…"

Bakura raised an eyebrow. "The first time… what?"

Ryou shook his head, snapping out of his small daydream. "That was the first time I actually began laughing… I haven't laughed like that in forever…"

Bakura became slightly puzzled. "But you laughed before, right? When I played my video games sometimes…"

Ryou's face fell faintly. "I laughed but I never was really laughing. Any of those times… I was just trying to cheer myself up. I felt that if I giggled or snickered or anything… that it may actually help me to ease the pain. Those were always fake, and I could never bring myself to truly start laughing over anything. That's why… that's why it seemed so strange to me."

Bakura's lip twitched, trying to hide a piteous smile reaching his lips. "Ryou… I'm sorry. Everything I ever did… everything… I'm so god damn sorry Ryou." Bakura couldn't hold it in anymore, and small tears began to cascade down his cheeks. "I never meant for it to be that bad… I never saw how much… if I were in your shoes… I wouldn't live…" Bakura broke down, all the emotions from the past week letting themselves out.

Ryou stared down at his yami, who had fallen to his knees. 'Bakura… you're crying… I've never seen you cry… please don't cry for me… I don't want you to cry for me…' Ryou fell to his knees as well and wrapped an arm around Bakura, making a 'shhh' sound softly.

"It's okay Bakura… don't worry… it's fine…" Ryou whispered, trying to calm his darker half.

Bakura shook his head stubbornly. "No! It's not okay! It'll never be okay! All I did, I can never make up for it! And I'll never forgive myself for what I did to you!" The yami shuddered. "I can't bear it… that poor boy… your poor heart, Ryou… I… I… broke you…" Bakura's tears started dripping onto the ground, and his eyes opened, finally realizing that he was actually crying. "I haven't cried since…"

Bakura paused, leaving an uneasy silence. Ryou gazed at his yami questionably. "Since… when?"

Bakura wiped his eyes slowly, regaining his composure and exhaled deeply. "Since… Egypt."

Ryou's eyes enlarged at the mention of Bakura's past life. "Umm…do you… do you want to tell me about it?" Bakura glanced up at his hikari in silent inquiry. Ryou nodded reassuringly. The little boy's words suddenly rang in Bakura's ears again.

"Tell me about Egypt! I love Egypt stories! Even though my yami was mean, he once told me a story about Egypt! It was really cool!"

Bakura grasped both of Ryou's hands with his own and brought them both up into a standing position. Squeezing his hikari's hands comfortingly, Bakura responded with an, "Alright. I'll tell you all about what happened in Egypt before I came to know you. Before I was locked away. Before… my entire life was destroyed." Ryou nodded and Bakura led him over to the couch.

Bakura took a deep breath. "It all started during the biggest drought of the decade. [2] The Nile had become dryer and dryer, the water filthy and unable to drink without fire. My family, who prospered merely on selling crops, was in serious debt. We were already poor to begin with and we had no money for bread or wood for boiling water. I knew we were slowly dying, day-by-day. I watched my mom, my dad, and my sister all wither to almost nothing before my eyes." Ryou poked him suddenly, making Bakura jump.

"Sorry… I… umm… you… you had a sister?" Ryou asked softly and Bakura's face lit up in a warm smile.

"Yeah. She was so cute… at this time, I was seventeen and she was only nine, but I loved her very much. She was the only family I had besides my parents." Bakura spoke his words with tenderness and Ryou couldn't suppress his grin.

"What- what was her name?"

"Her name was Sagira, Egyptian for 'little one.'"

"Sagira… what a pretty name," Ryou mused. "I'm sorry you can keep going."

Bakura nodded and continued. "Well, I watched as my family became skinny and dehydrated and I knew I had to do something. That day was probably the first day of my tomb robber life. So, of course, without any proper training, I went into a tomb, completely unaware of what I was doing. I became caught by a snake trap and was bitten about three times. Nothing serious, however, and I came out with just a bloody leg. But I tried again and again."

"Some days, I actually did get in, to some of the poorer tombs, but I stole gold and sold it, nonetheless. Then, one horrible day…" Bakura flinched. "One day… I was caught." Bakura put his head in his hands and Ryou lightly started to rub his back soothingly. "You wouldn't believe what they did…"

The yami took a deep breath. "They murdered them. My family. Every single one and right before my eyes. I'm not going to tell you what they did; it's too horrible for words. But that day, my fate was sealed. I would never be the same again. I vowed that I would never care for anyone, so as to not risk anyone… and to not risk my heart. I became a great tomb robber from that day forward. I escaped all who opposed me… until the new Pharaoh arose."

"He couldn't counter me at first, but soon he learned my tricks, and sought me out. I was captured because of pure weakness… that day, I had been thinking of Sagira and the rest of my family. Not paying attention… and before I knew it, I had been locked away. My life discontinued from being anything worthwhile after that, and I eventually became sealed in the Millennium Ring. But I would never forget the day that I was caught from pure weakness. For having emotions… for missing my family…" Bakura sighed, voice trembling. "And… that's about it."

Ryou let out a breath he didn't even know he had been holding. "I-I see… so that's why…"

Bakura bowed his head solemnly. "That's why I beat you, Ryou. I was ashamed of my past… and I never took out my anger… so my mistakes… I took them out on you. And I'm sorry. You don't know how much I regret that now…"

Ryou tried to look in his yami's eyes, but was unsuccessful because of the fuzziness. Ryou sighed softly. 'Bakura… I never knew… if you had only told me sooner… I could have helped you. I don't want you to be hurt anymore. I don't want you to think you are hated by me… I'm the only one you have left.'

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[1] Measuring spoon… does that make sense? I have a couple of them but I really don't know what they are called. O.o

[2] I have to admit… that was ALL made up! So don't flame me with corrections or what not… I KNOW it's not right (along the lines of Yuugiou at least). This is why I made the story slightly AU. Not everything is completely correct because I twisted things a bit (like the beatings and stuff… I don't think Bakura ever beats Ryou in the series…).

Chapter Reflections: I actually liked this chapter very much! I thought I really brought out Bakura's true side, with the Egypt story and all. I hope you all understand the whole boy Ryou thing… I think I made it pretty clear. As you can see, Bakura had some revelations of his own…

Author Comments: As far as thank you's go, I'm going to list them with SMALL descriptions. If your review was something like "I like this story, continue soon!", then I'm probably not going to write anything to you (just list your name). If you wrote a long review with something for me to respond to (such as a question), then I'll write you something, got it?

Lady-Wicca666, Sir Mocha, Klyukaizer, Bakuras-Hell, PaladinDragon, Dilandau's Best Slayer, Shakespeare's Pizza, Sei Kou Ki, SilverWing147, Interlude, kuroi-sakurapetals, Carmen5-Nemrac

Enjeru – Where in Wisconsin are you? (as in northeast, central, southeast, etc.) I live in southeastern Wisconsin! About twenty minutes from Milwaukee! There hasn't been a tornado by me yet either… but they've been REALLY close this summer!

russle – Glad you agree with me! Yeah and the pleasure/pain thing always seemed too kinky for Ryou, ne? Lol.

Princess Kat – I actually don't know very much about safe places during tornados, seeing as I've never been through one. I just trust what they say on the weather channel! ::sweatdrop::

Snow-Shadow-Wolf – I actually have a bunch to reply to you on your last review… would you mind leaving your e-mail address? I just don't want to take up too much space here. Oh and I think I missed your name on the previous review list… sorry about that! Thanks very much for the reviews!!

Thank you everyone! These all made me happy! Don't worry if I didn't respond to your review (trust me, I really like doing them, and would love to if it didn't take up so much space.) The reason being, however, that I've stopped replying is because I don't like it when authors seem like they have a long chapter but instead there is just a lot of author rambles at the end (such as replying to thank you's). So, as not to be rude, I stopped unless I had something significant to say. I apologize, really! From now on, I will no longer have this long of author commentary.

If any of you wish for me to talk and/or respond to your reviews (like I would VERY MUCH LOVE TO!), please leave me an e-mail or AIM handle so I can contact you. Many of you I would LOVE to talk to! So please don't be afraid of me! ::big, scary smile:: Mahahahaha! Just kidding.

Please review! Hope you liked it!

3 Suki No Hikari 3