Disclaimer: I do NOT own Yuugiou.
Author Comments: Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing!
Author Excuses: I had no time to even breathe last week and weekend, let alone think about writing. I woke up at six every morning and got home at ten, only an hour in the day of free time to myself… and that was for three 20-minute meals. And yes, this was all day Saturday and the first portion of Sunday as well. So, I was just a really busy bee. Sorry, but this time I couldn't help it.
Thank you's list (I've decided just to put it here -.-;): the copper araibian, Enjeru, Suuki (for both reviews), Lady-Wicca666, Interlude, Anime Crazed, Pork Steak the Grande, unknown, Misori Chan, pharohs-slave, Dark Wolf on a full Blood, Chaos Ritual, citcat-chan, Princess Kat, LeaMarie F. Rocket, SilverWing147, setonjounouchisgal, Ramen II, =Makura=, akiko-saulii, snow-shadow-wolf
In reply to some of the reviews – No, chapter eight wasn't the last chapter (obviously you can tell now) and YES I only have ten chapters planned out for this story as well as an epilogue. Sorry that there couldn't be more but I'm planning on a sequel… maybe ::shrug:: We'll see, ne?
Note: I'll try to drag this chapter out as long as I can, but I think no matter what happens, it'll be short because I want to get to the point. Not because I'm lazy or anything, I just want the chapter to be focused on the plot and what is supposed to happen.
Check chapter eight for the key! On with the story!
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Title: Ai No Ejiki
Author: Suki No Hikari
Rating: PG-13
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Recap:
Within moments, Ryou's breathing evened out, indicating that sleep had taken over his small body. Bakura held the teen protectively in his arms and carried the sleeping Ryou all the way home, the hikari's warmth soothing his aching arms.
Chapter Nine : Confession
"Stop kissing me already! It's weird!"
"It's weird!"
"It's weird…"
Bakura felt like punching himself - maybe if he was knocked out he could actually get to sleep. Perhaps he should try some of Ryou's sleeping pills? 'It doesn't matter. Sleeping won't make the words go away… I'll just wake up and hear them again.'
Once Bakura had arrived home, he tucked Ryou into bed and quickly left the hikari's room. Okay, maybe he had snuck in a kiss to the other white-haired teen's forehead, but then he left right away. So here he was now, lying on his bed, eyes planted on the simple ceiling and attempting to fish away Ryou's words from earlier that evening.
The yami growled, regretting everything done that evening. 'What was I thinking anyway? I should have never kissed him… especially when I don't like him like that. Or so I think… yes. I don't like him like that. What I'm feeling is just the care of an older brother, right?' [1] Bakura attempted to convince himself, but it just wasn't working. Somehow, this feeling wasn't like the feeling he felt for Sagira – not the feeling of an older brother.
The yami cursed under his breath. 'I still cannot believe I kissed him! Twice! I'm going slowly crazy. First, I go soft just because I was lonely, which never fazed me before I met my hikari. Then, last night I got these stupid feelings in my stomach… and then I'm kissing the boy! What the hell?!' Bakura swore again, a little more loudly. None of it made sense to him! 'And now Ryou hates me.'
Bakura considered this last thought for a couple of minutes, breath caught in his chest. Letting a out a long breath, the yami closed his eyes and came to a conclusion. 'Guess I might as well figure out the twenty-first century now.'
#!##!#!#! (AN: The arrows aren't working for some reason... the 'tab's aren't either... ?-?)
Two days later…
Ryou was confused. Thoroughly confused. Why, do you ask? One word: Bakura. The yami had been acting so strange the last two days.
First, he insisted on figuring out every appliance or electronic device in the house. Then, he demanded to know the use of a 'map' and how to read one. He learned every quick 30-second recipe for a meal as well as those a little bit tougher. He explored the basement, asking about the pipes and how each of the more complicated systems (water softener, fuse box, etc.) worked. He then proceeded to jump off the roof of the house.
… Okay, he really didn't do the last one but Ryou wouldn't be surprised if he did. The hikari had concluded his yami had officially gone nuts. 'I wonder if I should take him to a mental institute. Maybe they could fix him…' Ryou thought to himself, a strange covering his features. He was interrupted when a vacuum cleaner was shoved in his face.
"Yah!" Ryou proclaimed, startled at the offending object being held by a pensive-looking yami.
"Hikari, what's this?" Bakura asked for the thousandth time that day, beginning to roughly shake the vacuum up and down.
"Ah, yami! Don't do that, it'll break!" Ryou exclaimed, holding the vacuum steady. "This is a vacuum cleaner, it takes crumbs, dust, and other little hard to pick up things out of the carpet."
"Dust? Why don't you use that… frilly thing?" Bakura requested, eyebrows scrunching together.
"That's for dust on furniture or on windows or other places like that! It wouldn't work to clean dust in the carpeting!" Ryou explained, getting extremely tired of his yami's constant inquiries.
"Oh…" Bakura said softly before running off to find another thing to figure out.
Ryou noticed that Bakura hadn't ever been really demanding in his questions, except when Ryou ignored him (which was getting more frequent, the annoyed hikari noted). In actuality, the yami was being semi-cordial, very un-Bakura-like even with the new soft side he'd acquired whenever he wanted to protect Ryou. Or when he tells Ryou something serious. Basically, he's sentimental one in one hundred times, and only to Ryou. Otherwise, he's a complete jerk, like he should've been today. Which doesn't explain his actions at all.
Ryou was confused. And to think! Bakura hadn't, not once, mentioned the night two days ago, and it's been nagging Ryou every moment of every day since then! Ryou wanted some answers. He stomped over to where Bakura was currently inspecting a Windex bottle.
"Yami! Can I talk to you for a moment?" Bakura looked up at Ryou, placing the bottle under the sink again. Standing up, he raised in eyebrow, gesturing the hikari to go ahead.
"Bakura, I know you've been avoiding this, but what happened that night at the beach? And why are you acting so strange lately? But most importantly, why did you kiss me?" Ryou demanded, placing a hand on his hip and having the urge to tap his foot as well.
Bakura's face fell at the question and his expression went stony. "Just forget it." It was a deep, emotionless voice. "It was a mistake."
Ryou huffed, not satisfied with the answer. "That's not good enough! I want an honest answer not something so… so…!"
Bakura cut him off. "I said just forget about it." Ryou's heart quickened at the tone of voice, a familiar sense of fear grabbing him. The only times he's ever heard his yami use that tone was during… the beatings.
Ryou ignored the fearful feeling, however, his stubbornness overpowering it. "But Bakura!" Ryou practically yelled, impatience and persistence etched in his words.
"Hikari…" Bakura warned in an even deeper voice.
Ryou shook his head. "I just want a freaking answer! Why the hell can't you-"
…
A small pale hand reached up to touch a cheek, where sharp indents from nails had started bleeding. A red, painful hand mark rested there. Ryou's eyes shone with an unearthed fear opposite of those of fury from his yami.
"I told you to just forget it." Bakura growled softly, hiding the regret in his voice. Ryou finally thought he could trust his yami again…
"I-I… I'm sorry…" Ryou whispered softly, tears stinging his eyes. "I just w-wanted to k-know…" Bakura stayed silent, watching his hikari fall innocent to Bakura's anger, showing the same fear he'd seen so many times before… throughout the nights of being beaten. Throughout Bakura's harsh words of accused weakness.
"Wh-why… I-I thought you had ch-changed…" Ryou stuttered in a soft voice, more to himself than to Bakura.
Bakura smirked, closing his eyes to hide his own pain and regret. "Old habits die hard, hikari. Live with it." Bakura forced out, knowing very well he didn't want to say that. He'd hit Ryou. Ryou. Who had finally trusted him. Ryou. Ryou. Ryou.
And all of a sudden, for some reason, the feeling of indifference replaced that of regret. 'He already hated me… so he hates me more now. It doesn't matter anymore… he won't have to deal with me anymore.' With that last thought, Bakura strode out of the room, leaving his hikari to become infected with tears.
When the yami reached his room, the telephone rang almost instantly. Bakura glared at the phone, annoyed already with the noise. He had moved it in his room yesterday, figuring it might be best to learn how to use it. Ryou explained how the only people that called were solicitors and that Bakura should hang up immediately on someone if he didn't recognize the voice.
Bakura picked up the phone, and tried to fix it against his face the correct way. "What do you want?"
"Tomb robber." A calm, yet slightly angry voice said on the other end.
Bakura growled. "Pharaoh. What the hell do you want?"
"I saw what you did. I told you I'd see if you did anything." Yami said smoothly.
"What are you fucking watching everything I do? I don't want you looking in on my life!" Bakura snarled angrily, realizing that if Yami had been watching him, just the mere hit wasn't the only thing he's seen. 'Damnit, he'd better not have seen me…' Bakura cringed. 'Go soft…'
"Why'd you hit him?" Yami's voice broke through Bakura's thoughts.
"Why do you care?"
"Because you love him. Why would you even dare touch him?" Yami growled, trying to keep his cool.
"I don't love that weakling!" Bakura said defensively, wondering how the hell Yami would even know that. 'But I don't love him! So Yami is wrong. I don't love him.'
"Bakura, I planted an eye to follow your every movement. I can tell you love him."
"I don't… you did what?!" Bakura yelled, Yami's words finally clicking.
"I told you I was going to watch you and I never go back on my word. But that's not the point here! Why do you keep lying to yourself?"
"I don't love him. Yami, this is pointless! I'm hanging up."
"I told you not to touch him, Bakura," Yami interrupted, voice deathly severe.
"So? I did. You can't do anything about it."
"Hell, you know I can Bakura," Yami announced threateningly.
Bakura growled to himself, thinking of how to escape this. "Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I'm leaving him tonight so you won't have to worry about anything 'touching' him anymore, okay?" Bakura snarled, anger dripping from each word.
"You're doing what?!" Yami proclaimed incredulously.
"You heard me, damn Pharaoh. I'm leaving. I won't even be around to hit him anymore. He doesn't need me and he never did." At the last few words, Bakura felt a twisting sensation in his chest, knowing very well his own words had cut deep.
"Bakura…" Yami started.
"And don't even think about trying to talk me out of this. You know very well that he would be so much better off without his 'abusive yami'. You and your stupid hikari should be happy for him," Bakura snapped, feeling like the thin string holding him from hanging up was about to snap.
"Fine. Leave then. But I know you love him and he deserves to know as well. Don't hide it from him because that would hurt more than all the beatings you ever gave him. Let him know that he's loved, alright?" Yami demanded and he could hear Bakura growl.
"I don't love-"
"Do you feel a weird feeling in the bit of your stomach when you think about him? Do you have sudden urges to be overprotective and hold him in your arms? Your silence must mean that both are true, thus, two signs that show you are in love. Bakura you kissed him for a reason and it's not because you want to be his older brother," Yami explained knowingly a shocked silence following his words.
"How fucking much have you been watching me? Stay the hell out of my life!" Bakura yelled, ready to hang up.
"Just tell him, okay idiot tomb robber?" Yami's request was answered with silence for a few moments.
"Whatever." With that, Bakura hung up, causing Yami to smile in triumph. Yugi, who had been standing next to the taller teen, looked up with a confused appearance.
"So? What did he say?" Yugi asked impatiently.
"Bakura's going to tell him." Yugi raised an eyebrow in a disbelieving question, and Yami ruffled his hair playfully. The thought of Bakura's departure still nagged in the back of his mind, however. 'Ryou better figure out in time to stop him…'
#!#!#!#!#!#!
Bakura packed the last pair of socks into his small bag before zipping it up. He really didn't know where he would go, but he had stolen enough money to find somewhere to stay until he figured it out. Not a real elaborate plan, but Bakura was never really elaborate in the first place.
Yami's words still rung in his head, unfortunately, and he couldn't concentrate very much on the task at hand. 'If he's right…' Bakura shuddered. '… and I do love him, then how the hell would I tell him? It was much easier to say that I care for him… but telling him that I love him?! What if he… wait… I'm leaving. It doesn't matter what his reaction is. Wait a second- what am I even thinking? I DON'T LOVE HIM! Gah!'
Bakura put his hands through his hair, pulling some strands out from frustration. In the back of his mind a little voice was replying to his defiant thoughts and it was annoying the hell out of him. 'You want to… you want to love him…' it seemed to say. Bakura shook his head and the thought went away. He placed the bag over his back and began to trek downstairs.
Ryou had been reading a book on the couch when he heard someone coming down the stairs. Looking up he saw the yami who had been missing since that morning. He immediately turned his gaze back to his book, not seeing the small duffel bag at Bakura's side.
"Ryou, can I talk to you real quick?" Bakura asked, voice showing no emotion.
Without lifting his gaze, Ryou replied with a, "sure."
Bakura took a deep breath. "First of all, I… I apologize for this morning." Ryou kept reading, although he had read the same sentence about twenty times now and still didn't know what it said. "And, you asked why I was acting so strange with all my questions, right? Well, I told myself a while back that when I finally got used to the twenty-first century, I would leave."
As Bakura's words registered in the small hikari's brain, Ryou let out a tiny gasp. Ryou's head snapped up, shock written across his face, eyes attempting to hide the pain and worry coming to them. "But… I mean- you're not…" Ryou felt the words get caught in his throat. 'Why do I feel like this? I've been waiting for this my entire life, right?' He shut his eyes, holding back tears, and highlights of the past two weeks flashed behind closed lids. Ryou suddenly felt like he was going to throw up. 'I don't want him to go… I don't want to be alone…' Suddenly, a flash of the recent hit Bakura gave him appeared, and he felt his cheek stinging meaningfully. Ryou opened his eyes slowly.
"So, you're going to leave then?" Ryou requested softly, making his voice sound uninterested.
Bakura noticed how his hikari really didn't seem to care and nodded. "Yes. I am." Bakura announced, with finality. 'I can tell he doesn't need me. He doesn't care if I leave… he will be happier without me anyway. I just thought…' Bakura scowled. 'I've learned to never hope for anything. I couldn't expect him to stop me… why would he do that?' Bakura sighed deeply. 'He doesn't need to know that I love him… I don't need to tell him now.'
Bakura began to walk to the door and Ryou started to panic. 'I… I can't let him leave! Why did I pretend like I didn't care when I did? I do care! I do care… for you… Bakura…' Ryou face fell slightly at the thought as he jumped up from the couch, watching his yami open the door to leave.
"Wait Bakura!" Ryou yelled desperately. Bakura spun around to face Ryou, confusion on his face.
"Wha-" Bakura started but he was cut off by a pair of small arms around his waist. Ryou's arms. Ryou's arms hugging him. "Ryou…" Bakura mumbled.
"Don't go, Bakura… please…" Ryou begged and Bakura could feel himself soften.
"It's weird!"
"It's weird!"
"It's weird!"
"It's weird!"
Bakura tried to block out the returning phrases, convincing him that Ryou didn't really care if he left or not. He tried, but the words had cut him too deep for him to push them away.
"I can't. I have to go, Ryou. But…"
Ryou looked up, as Bakura gently pulled the small arms from his waist. "But… what?"
"I want to tell you that…" Bakura paused, gathering the last bit of courage he had. "That… I-I love you, Ryou… and not as an older brother. I fell in love with you." Ryou's eyes went large but Bakura kept going, no longer caring how he should or shouldn't act [2]. "…and… even though I'm leaving… I will never forget you, alright?"
Ryou, shocked from Bakura's words, couldn't muster enough strength to say anything. "I-I…" Ryou started but was cut off as Bakura kissed his forehead gently.
"Goodbye… Ryou." Bakura told him with the most sincerity in his voice that Ryou had ever heard. With that, he shut the door behind him and went out into the dark night.
Ryou stood stunned, unable to comprehend anything that was going on. Everything was happening so fast… and now… Bakura was gone. 'Bakura…' Ryou felt a tear slip down his left cheek, where the hand mark from earlier had slowly faded away. 'Bakura…' Ryou fell to his knees.
"Bakura… Bakura… Bakura! NO! BAKURA!" Ryou yelled to the ceiling, his words carrying nothing less than anguish. His words were in vain, however. Bakura couldn't hear him. Bakura was gone… forever.
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[1] Even though Bakura said he 'cared' for Ryou, it wasn't love. Or so he thought so. He thought it only to be brotherly love, something he had wanted to feel ever since he lost his sister. Does that make sense?
[2] I meant this in a sense where Bakura didn't care that he was 'supposed' to be a heartless jackass. He just wanted to be himself, and not the jerky part of his self. The Bakura from 5000 years ago, the Bakura he once was. Get it?
Author Comments: Sorry to leave you hanging like that! But hey, chapter ten will be the BEST YET! I guarantee it! Heh, Yami's so smart, ne? Well, I had finished this chapter early this morning but my login wasn't working all day (until JUST now) and so I couldn't actually post this. None of my 'tabs' had been working either for some strange reason ::shrug:: but it's not that bad. Could be worse, ne? Well, that's all!
Please review!
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