Secrets and Dirty Deeds
By the Barefoot Pianist
A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my boarding buddies, Rinnie and Aviva who the later (very colourful) conversation was inspired from, one very dark and cold Sunday night.
Chapter 15
Day Five
This was the fifth time Carmen had gone into the boys' dormitory to wake up Draco Malfoy. But her usual excitement of seeing Malfoy's annoyed face disappeared when she saw him, sitting up, awake, and reading a book. "Oh," she whined. "You're up."
He looked up from his book with a smirk, "Disappointed?"
"No," she quickly said. Malfoy gave her a disbelieving look. She corrected herself, "Not really." He still looked at her the same way, he could see right through her. "Maybe," she said defiantly. But looking at his expression again, she had no choice but to change it once again, "Okay, maybe a little."
"Come off it," he said.
"Fine, I am. Happy now?"
"Without doubt."
Carmen glared at him.
…………………………………………………..
Dinner was always a cheerful time.
"How many holes are there in a crumpet?" Carmen asked for the eighth time. She sat beside Malfoy who was steadily growing red with anger and trying desperately to ignore her.
"I don't know," Malfoy said for the eighth time, his teeth gritted.
"Oh," she said. After a few minutes, she asked again, "How many holes are there in a crumpet?"
"I said I don't know." He said each word slowly and made sure he articulated every one of them, in an attempt to get it through her head. But he lost his temper when Carmen tried the same question again. "Look," he yelled after slamming the fork down, "I don't know how many fucking holes there are in a fucking bagel!"
"Crumpet," Carmen corrected him.
"What ever!"
"Did I hear Draco Malfoy use the word 'fuck' for the first time?" Blaise Zabini popped his head in, who was sitting near Malfoy.
"Yes, you did," chirped Carmen. "Twice," she added with glee.
"Look, it doesn't matter if I fucking swear."
"Three times," Blaise began counting.
"Anyway, you've asked me 'how many holes are there in a crumpet'… one, two…eight, nine, ten times!"
"Funny that, I was just about to ask you that exact question," Carmen said blankly.
"Ugh! You are so fucking annoying!" Malfoy yelled at her.
"Four," added Blaise.
"Stop counting!"
"He can fucking count whenever he fucking wants," said Carmen.
"Oh, sod off," Malfoy said to Carmen.
She snorted, "Hah, is that all you can do? Tell me to sod off?"
"No," he said insolently.
"Let's hear it then," she urged him.
"Look, just fuck off, will you? You've fucking woken me up at 6:30 every morning for the last five fucking days and I'm tired and sick of you!" Malfoy began to go on a roll.
"Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about!" Carmen said, cheering him on.
"I'm fucking sick of fucking everything. The fucking teachers, the fucking Gryffindors, the fucking Wonder Trio, the fucking homework, this whole fucking school! So just fucking shove that fucking roast fucking chicken in your fucking mouth and fuck off."
"I fucking think you're getting on a fucking roll, here. Not to fucking mention, you're fucking literate of the word 'fuck'. I fucking commend you."
"I fucking thank you."
"But I fucking suppose, if I fucking asked you how your fucking day was, I wouldn't really fucking get a fucking different fucking answer, would I?" Carmen said, trying to slot any variation of the word 'fuck' in any possible space.
"You fucking got that fucking right."
"Those fucking teachers need to fucking get a fucking calming potion. Fucking pain in the fucking asses," Carmen brooded.
"It's about fucking time the fucking holidays were here. I'm fucking sick of this fucking school. How the fuck are you fucking getting home?"
"Not fucking going home, these fucking holidays. My fucking parents are going to be fucking away in fucking Czechoslovakia. Don't know what the fuck they're going to fucking do there. Fucking hole of a place. Can you fucking pass me the fucking water fucking jug?" she asked.
"Here you fucking go," Malfoy said, passing the water jug to her.
"This is a fucking good meal, isn't it? The fucking roast potatoes are fucking great."
"Fuck yeah," Draco replied.
At that point, neither of them were able to contain their laughter anymore.
A/N: R&R! Okay, I wanted to thank these people for being such great people because they reviewed and other various reasons. You're legends!!!!
Rinnie – thanks for all your inspiration in bringing out the Carmen in me
Sar – even though you sent the same review 5 times, thanks for your enthusiasm :)
Aviva – thanks for your humour, friendship and unique outlook on life
Lisa-mousie – thanks for all your whacky humour
Kaiba's Run-away Bride5 – thanks for all your enthusiasm!
Lila Bloom-Felton – thank you for your on-going support!
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