Chapter Two
Disclaimer: Into every generation is born one who must write insane fan fiction using characters, places, etc. that belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and 20th Century Fox... cannot escape my destiny
"Hyperion Hotel, home of Angel Investigations where we help the helpless, Cordelia Chase speaking. How may I help you?" came the cheerful greeting from Angel's associate on the phone.
Willow had to literally bite her tongue to keep from groaning at the former cheerleader's inappropriate perkiness. "Cordelia, it's Willow," she said with a heavy sigh. "I need to talk to Angel. It's very important."
Cordelia frowned, glancing down at the pieces of paper in front of her. The pieces of paper on which her handwriting told her exactly where everyone was at the time. "Angel's in a meeting with a client right now," she began. "A paying client," she added with an emphasis on the word 'paying'. "Could I take a message?" she offered, blue ballpoint pen in hand.
"I need to talk to Angel," Willow demanded again as she kept a careful watch on the young Slayer. Buffy, now fully awake again, had somehow found someone's purse, presumably Dawn or Anya's because neither Willow nor Tara brought a purse that day and she highly doubted Giles or Xander would carry a clearly feminine purse around.
"I told you he's in a meeting right now, but I can have him call you as soon as he's done," Cordelia informed the witch.
"Cordelia!" Willow yelled. "This should have a little more of a priority here!"
"Need I point out the paying client factor again?" Cordelia asked.
Willow groaned. So nothing has changed with her at all, she thought angrily to herself. "It's about Buffy," she said finally, hoping Cordelia was not too dense to remember how important the blond Slayer was to Angel.
From her end on the phone, Willow could hear Cordelia sighing. "Fine, I'll tell him you're on the line," she said before placing the phone carefully down on the desk and knocking on Angel's office door. "Angel, Willow's on the phone. It's about Buffy," she called through the closed wooden door.
Few noises of moving furniture could be heard as Angel was presumably walking over to the door. Sure enough, few moments later Angel emerged from his office. "What about Buffy?" he asked, his face filling with worry.
Cordelia shrugged. "I'm not really sure. Willow didn't say anything other than that it's important." With that, she walked over to her desk as she began going through all the invoice papers.
"Willow, it's Angel," Angel said as he grabbed the phone. "What it is? What happened? Is Buffy alright? Does she need my help?"
Willow sighed heavily, glancing over as Buffy began smearing pink lipstick all over her face. "I look pretty!" she declared proudly before slathering "Power Barbie" with the stuff as well.
"Well," Willow began. "Buffy's alive and she's medically alright. It's just"
"Just what?!" Angel asked.
"She got turned into a four year old. We're not sure how, none of Giles's books have anything about it. We were just wondering about Faith. Y'know, if whatever's happening to Buffy is happening to her too."
"Turned into a four-year-old?" Angel asked, raising an eyebrow. "Physically?"
"Yes," Willow affirmed seriously. "We're talking a little over three feet tall, somewhere between twenty-five and thirty-five pounds, really tiny feet that don't fit into anything we had around the house, the whole enchilada."
"Right," Angel responded, nodding as he comprehended the information. He sighed, remembering his client. "Cordelia!" he called, grabbing the attention of his associate. "Go and stay with Mr. Greene, please," he commanded as his tanned co-worker began walking over to his office. "So you think it might be happening to Faith?"
Willow nodded. "It's a high possibility. Could you just do us a favor and check?" she asked. "You don't have to come down here, just call."
Angel nodded as he wrote it down on the back of one of their business cards. "I'll get right on that," he promised before saying his good-byes and hanging up.
"Can I give you a makeover?" Buffy asked as she looked up at Willow, Anya's purse with all of its makeup contents wrapped around her thin arm. Willow smiled weakly, looking over at Tara and Dawn's "makeovers". Anya wisely was protesting and she sat on a stool behind the counter, ready for any last minute customers before the store would close at eight.
Willow shrugged, still sporting her hairdo courtesy of the young girl. What else did she have to loose? "Sure," she agreed. "Why not?"
"What'd Dead Boy say?" Xander asked without looking up from the book held in his lap. Although it said it was a demon book, Willow could tell that whenever Xander flipped the page, it wasn't the same book that was in his lap. Something was behind it.
"He said he'd look into it," Willow responded, looking curiously over at Xander. She frowned slightly as she walked over to her best friend. "What are you looking at?" she asked curiously.
"Nothing!" Xander immediately yelled as he slammed the book shut before glancing a quick glance at Anya, making sure she did not suspect anything. "Just a little surprise for her," he whispered quietly as he tilted his head at Anya. "For her, um, birthday," he lied, hoping that Willow would not catch onto it.
"Alright," Willow said with a slight hint of sadness and a shrug as she stood back up, walking over to where the very impatient Buffy was waiting to give Willow her new "makeover".
Buffy smiled happily as she began smearing lipstick all over Willow's willing face. "Now Willow looks pretty!" she announced proudly.
"What was that all about?" Cordelia asked irritably as she came out from Angel's office, her arms folded across her chest as an expression of her anger. After a few minutes, the client gave up and decided he would try and work it out with some one else. "That guy could have saved us from going broke!"
Angel sighed heavily. "Cordelia, we're not broke," he insisted strongly. "And it was about Buffy."
"Yea, I got that part! What made it so important that you couldn't spend time with the potential client?" Cordelia huffed.
"Buffy has been turned into a four-year-old," Angel replied calmly. "And you're going down to the jail with Wesley to see if the same thing happened to Faith."
"Me?" Cordelia asked with a frown. "Why me?"
Angel sighed, gesturing emphatically at the back door of the hotel with his left hand. "There still is a bit of light out there and I can't risk it!" He sighed heavily. "Plus I might be able to get that client back," he muttered slightly. "And I can't do that if I'm getting a little girl out of jail."
Cordelia squealed with excitement. "Alright, I'll go!" she yelled happily before running out of the hotel, grabbing Wesley by the arm as she passed him.
"Cordelia--" the former Watcher began in shock. "I beg your pardon, but what--"
"I'll explain on the way, Wes, but first we have to go to jail," Cordelia began as she rushed over to the door, grabbing the set of keys to her car as she ran out the door, dragging Wesley behind her.
Wesley looked over at Angel for one short moment before he found himself being pulled out of the hotel. "Cordelia!" he exclaimed loudly once reaching the outside. "What in God's name is going on here?"
"Faith," Cordelia exclaimed as she walked over to her car and got inside, opening the passenger door for Wesley.
"Faith escaped?" Wesley inquired curiously and fearfully.
Cordelia shook her head as she paced the key in the ignition and started up the car. "Faith might be a little younger than we thought."
"What do you mean?" Wesley frowned. "Faith is twenty, you know that."
Cordelia shook her head once more. "Sure, we all know when she was born and whatnot, but Angel thinks she might be younger."
"You're not making any sense."
Cordelia frowned as she rethought her choice of words. "Right," she began as she pondered on the perfect way to explain what was going. "Alright, over in Sunnydale, Buffy has been turned into a physical and emotional four-year-old. That's what Willow's call was all about," Cordelia started as she dodged one of the other cars on the road. She looked over at Wesley, seeing the former Watcher holding onto the side door as if his life depended on it. "Relax," she told him. "I know what I'm doing. Anyway, Angel and Willow think that whatever happened to Buffy might also be happening to our rouge Slayer so while he tries to convince the paying client to come back, we get to do the Faith-check."
"Cordelia, might I suggest that you let someone a little older perhaps take the wheel?" Wesley asked, not concentrating at all on the Faith news, but rather on Cordelia's dim driving skills.
"Would you relax already?" Cordelia asked with a small groan. "I'm not speeding and I'm staying in my lane. God, you're almost as bad as Xander Harris was when the two of us actually went out."
"Not speeding?" Wesley asked in shock. "You must be going at least ten miles above the speed limit!"
"Nope," Cordelia answered. "They raised it last year."
Wesley groaned, but he did relax a little bit. There were not that many people on the streets at this hour on a Monday evening. "Do they have any idea about what happened to Buffy?" he asked a moment later.
Once again, Cordelia shook her head. "All they know is that it happened. There was nothing in Giles's books about it. How many books can one man have?" she wondered.
"There are a few he does not have in his possession," Wesley said in an abnormally proud voice. I happen to have the only original edition of Farzin's Compendium in its full ancient Sumerian content," he added, much to Cordelia's boredom.
"And the ancient Sumerians know what about Slayers?" Cordelia asked impatiently.
Wesley frowned. "I suppose you're right," he began quietly. "Let's just get to the jail," he added.
Anya smiled triumphantly as she finished counting up the money on the receipts from that day's sales. "Giles, we made eight hundred thirty seven dollars today and eleven cents." A huge smile was plastered onto her slightly tanned face as she turned to the Watcher, who was also smiling.
"That's wonderful," he said.
"Can I have a raise?" she asked, her brown eyes widening slightly.
Giles smiled. "Sure," he announced as he heard his associate squeal with delight.
"Look," Tara whispered, the tacky make-up erased from her face as she tilted her head at the sleeping Buffy. "She's asleep."
"Thank goddess!" Willow exclaimed. "I mean, I love Buffy and all, but she has too much energy," she added exhaustedly.
Xander nodded, recalling the park trip that had him running all over the tiny park numerous times. "Here here," he said as he plopped down onto a chair near the table.
"Is she still the Slayer?" Dawn asked curiously as she glanced up from her geometry homework.
Giles nodded. "As far as I can see, yes," he began, although he did not sound entirely confident with the answer.
Anya rolled her eyes. "She most definitely is still the Slayer. I have the bruise mark to prove it."
"There, there," Giles said as he patted her back. He frowned, glancing around at his shop. More specifically, at all of Buffy's new toys around his shop. "When did she bring all those--" he began before Anya caught site of the toys.
"Someone pick those up! They're bad for business!" she screeched.
"We are closed now, Anya," Giles reminded her. "Business does not matter."
Anya frowned. "We may be closed, but people could still see through the windows and if they do not like what they see, then they might not want to come inside when we are open."
Xander smiled over at his girlfriend. As crazy as it might seem, she did have a point. "Ahn, it's alright. We can close the curtains then pick up her toys."
"Works good in theory," pointed out Willow from her position of being flopped over onto the table. "I don't think I can move." She frowned as she tried to pick up her arm. "As a matter of fact, I'm sure of it." Her face lit with excitement. "Maybe there's a spell we could--" she began before Tara cut her off.
"No!" Tara said firmly. "No spells. We can't always do them for the little things. It's not what magick is for. There are other options."
"But they involve getting up," Willow pointed out.
Tara smiled at Willow. "You rest, I'll get the toys," she said with a smile as she stood up, closed the blinds, and dutifully began picking up the various toys from Buffy.
"Any word from Dead Boy?" Xander asked again as he grabbed a few Barbie doll clothes from the floor.
Willow shook her head with a long sigh. "Nothing," she said, wondering whether or not that was a good thing. Did they really want to deal with another four-year-old Slayer? No. But, maybe they would not have to. If the two Slayers were both four, the Scoobies could look after Buffy while Angel and his investigation agency could take care of Faith. "Nothing at all."
"Man, how far away is the jail from his place?" Xander asked curiously.
"Well, it w-was still light outside when we called him. He might just now be getting a chance to leave," Tara pointed out calmly.
Willow smiled at her girlfriend adoringly once more. Leave it to Tara to have a level head on any situation. Except her use of too much magick. That was the one and only thing Willow knew that could send Tara over the edge.
"We'll hear from him soon," Willow added. "We have to."
"Her name is Fay and she's my niece," Cordelia begged the jail guard as she saw the little four-year-old version of Faith standing on the other side. "Please, let me take her."
The guard turned around to Faith and pointed at Cordelia. "Is this woman your aunt?" he asked with a long and heavy sigh. Cordelia frowned as she knew she had only a few precious seconds to think. She smiled, pulling a stick of gum out of her purse and holding it, mouthing 'You want this?' at the little girl in front of her.
Faith smiled, wildly nodding her head yes. "Yes!" she hollered as she tried to run out over to Cordelia. Cordelia smiled innocently at the guard as she tucked the gum back into her small black purse.
"That was low," Wesley whispered into her ear.
The guard sighed and opened the door between the two of them, little Faith running over to Cordelia's open arms. Her short little hand quickly made its way to the purse as she pulled the gum out and began chewing.
"Alright, here's what I need to know? How did you niece manage to end up behind bars this evening when I was checking the cells?" the guard asked angrily.
"Just my wacky sister," Cordelia said with a long sigh. "She's a little out there so she would put her daughter in her place. Little Fay must have gotten loose when we tried to visit this morning," Cordelia said with a fake laugh as she placed an arm around Faith. "But you won't do that anymore, right?" she asked, looking down at Faith.
The little girl nodded slightly, looking oddly up at Cordelia. "I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers," she said with a frown.
"What was that?" the guard asked.
Cordelia shrugged as she and Wesley began to leave, Faith following right behind them. "Where we going?" the little girl asked as she tried to blow a bubble, but ended up spitting the gum out onto the sidewalk accidentally. "Oops," she whispered softly. "Can I have more?" she asked, looking up at Cordelia with wide brown eyes.
Cordelia shrugged as she pulled another piece of gum out of her purse and handed it to the eager four year old. "Shoot!" Cordelia yelled as she approached her car. She would have chosen a more inappropriate word, but she did have a very impressionable child in front of her. If the girl had heard anything inappropriate from her mouth, Cordelia was sure that Angel and/or Wesley would kill her. Or they would wish they could since she was too valuable for them to kill.
"What?" Wesley asked curiously.
"Wesley, we have a child under sixty pounds without a car seat," Cordelia pointed out with a groan. "What are we supposed to do?"
Wesley frowned. "I'd suppose we have to buy one," he said with a frown. "We're far too far and it's far too dark to walk back to the hotel."
Cordelia frowned as she began walking along the street in desperate search of a store that would sell her a car seat. "Angel better reimburse us for this," she muttered.
"I'm sure he will," Wesley said with a sigh as he followed Cordelia, holding Faith's hand.
Cordelia stopped suddenly, coming towards the store they were looking for. "In there," she commanded as she handed Wesley her wallet.
"I beg your pardon," Wesley began doubtfully as he looked down at her wallet.
"I beg your pardon," Faith repeated before bursting into a fit of giggles.
Cordelia groaned again. "You go in there and pick out the cheapest car seat you can find," she commanded. "I'm going to call Willow and then I'll meet you inside."
"So the wallet's for"Wesley began.
"Just in case you finish up before I do," Cordelia said. "It's not a shopping spree for you. I know exactly how much money I have in there," she informed Wesley with a sigh.
Wesley sighed heavily. "I'm sure you do," he said with a sigh as he walked into the store, Faith right behind him.
"Candy!" the four year old demanded strongly as soon as she walked in.
Cordelia breathed a huge sigh of relief. She was unsure how Willow had been putting up with little Buffy for the past day or so. She had only had Faith for ten minutes and already she wished she were dead or something.
She sighed, whipping out her cell phone and dialing the number for the Magic Box. The phone ring once, then twice before someone answered it. "Hello, Magic Box," came the feminine reply.
Cordelia frowned as she tried to identify the speaker. It was not Willow or Buffy. She had heard the voice before. "Anya?" she finally asked in shock. "Hey, it's Cordelia."
"Hey," Anya replied back. "Any word on--"
"She's four all right," Cordelia responded before Anya could even finish her question. "How do you put up with it? I've only had her for about ten minutes and already I wish I was off somewhere else."
Anya frowned. "I don't know. Xander and Willow had her most of the day. I just ran the store."
Cordelia smiled slightly before peeking inside the store to see how Wesley was doing in there. "Any luck on finding out what's causing it yet?" she asked.
Anya sighed and shook her head. "Nothing. Or, at least, nothing that anyone's saying." She sighed as she placed an ice pack on her leg once again. "But Cordelia, be careful. Faith still has Slayer strength. Well, Buffy does, so one would assume Faith would too."
Cordelia nodded understandingly. "Right," she said as she heard Faith run into something in the store. "Well, I better get going," she began.
"Me too," Anya responded. "Bye," the ex-demon added before she hung up.
Cordelia sighed rolling her eyes as she ran into the store. "I am so sorry!" she said as she walked up to Faith, who had happened to run into the display of watches behind glass. The glass had shattered and was everywhere, but the watched were unharmed. "If there's anything I can do" she began as she pulled Faith behind her. "Go back to Uncle Wesley," she whispered as she darted her head over at Wesley who was still staring in confusion at all of the car seats.
"It's fine, miss," the sales clerk said. "It must be hard being a single mother," she began sympathetically.
"What?" Cordelia asked in shock. "Oh, you thought she was my--No, no, it's not that. She's my sister's daughter," she explained through her red cheeks. "I'm just looking after her while my sister's on a business trip."
"Oh, where to?" the clerk asked curiously as she continued sweeping up the glass.
"Um, some small town in Italy," Cordelia lied. "But we really should get going. Sorry for all of this. If there's any fee, just bill my employer. He'd be happy to pay you," Cordelia said as she handed the woman Angel's card.
"You're employer?" the clerk asked doubtfully.
Cordelia nodded. "Money's a big issue with our family and he's really close to us like that," Cordelia said, mostly telling the truth as she walked over to Wesley.
"We picked out one," Wesley announced proudly as he carried it up to the cash register. Cordelia sighed as she pulled out her Visa card, handing it to the cashier once she got there.
"What'd Dead Boy say?" Xander asked as Anya walked back over to the table.
"It was Cordelia," Anya began with a slight indication of jealousy in her voice. "She wanted to steal you away," Anya added as she leaned back against Xander.
"Anya, Cordelia made it very clear that she does not want to steal me away. She wants nothing to do with me," Xander pointed out as he kissed her on the lips passionately.
Giles frowned, removing his glasses as to reduce the amount of things he had to see. Xander's use of his tongue was not something Giles was fond of seeing. "What did Cordelia say?" Giles asked, but he doubted Anya heard him. "Xander, please remove your tongue from my assistant's mouth long enough so she can answer my questions," he commanded sternly as he placed his glasses back on his face.
Xander did as he was told as Anya began answering the question. "Faith's four as well," she confirmed. "She also can't handle her that well."
"Understandable," Willow noted. "Faith was wild as a Slayer when she first came to Sunnydale, so naturally she would be a pretty wild child."
Giles turned to Willow. "Maybe this is just some spell gone array," he suggested. "I can't think of any Sunnydale residents off the top of my head with this amount of power, but perhaps you could check recent people who came to town. Hotels, motels, and what not."
Willow nodded as she pulled out her laptop and plugged it inside. "This will only take a minute," she said as she began searching and hacking.
"Should we send for Faith?" Tara asked. "I mean, there's more of us here than in Los Angeles."
Xander shook his head. "No, I think we're about even," he said with a nod. "Since Dawn will be in school and doing homework for a majority of the day, she doesn't count. Then it's five here to their four, so I think Faith can stay there."
"Why don't we wait to see how Angel can handle it before we make any decisions," Giles put in.
"Because it's not fair!" Xander argued. "He should have to endure the same pain we're going through."
"Guys?" Willow called as they began looking over at her.
"You find someone?" Tara and Giles asked at the same time.
The redheaded witch nodded as she read aloud from the screen. "Sunnydale Motor Inn. Most recent guest: Ethan Rayne."