Nobody Understands
Chapter 3 – Christmas with the crowd
A/N: This takes place a few weeks after the previous one. Monica was about two months pregnant in that one and so is now about three months.
It was Christmas time and everywhere everyone was celebrating. Everyone that is, except me. I was sitting in my room doing nothing. Downstairs I could hear my parents moving around. Knowing my mum all the presents had been bought and wrapped in early September. I never got presents for anyone that was my parents' job. A week before Christmas my mum would present me with a load of labels, which I would have to write out. It was always the same – Name, Merry Christmas, Maddie. No terms of endearment would appear anywhere.
I decided it was probably time to go downstairs. My mum had laid out the dress she wanted me to wear. It was red and green tartan, extremely Christmassy. On top were four ribbons – two red and two green. I can do my own hair but my mum can do it so nicely. I grabbed the four ribbons and my hairbrush and went downstairs.
Both of my parents were in the kitchen. My mum was standing by the stove and my dad was getting out the best cutlery and china. He pulled out what he needed. I started to worry when he didn't stop at three.
'Are we having guests?' I asked from my place in the doorway. My parents glanced at each other and then at me.
'Yes, sweetie.' My dad said gently.
'Who?'
'Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel, Emma, Joey, Phoebe, Grandma and Grandpa.'
'Are you going to be ok?' My mum asked me. I knew why she was asking. I'm no good with large crowds. I can cope with about ten people, which is the number of people who were going to be at lunch. But I can only cope if I have some warning. One time I came downstairs to find everyone there. I hadn't been expecting it and spent the rest of the day in my room hiding. My parents tried to get me to come downstairs but I wouldn't, I couldn't. Now they let me know if people are going to come round so I can prepare myself.
I could sense my parents looking at me and I realised that I hadn't answered my mum's question.
'Can you do my hair for me please?' I had to look nice for our guests.
***
My grandparents arrived at midday. They were the last ones since they lived the furthest away. Joey had arrived first. Well, of course he would. He was still the same as he was over ten years ago when my parents lived across the hall from him. Anytime there is food involved you can guarantee that Joey will be the first to arrive. Next to arrive were Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel and Emma. The two of them got married about five years ago. Emma, my cousin, is 11 years old and is the only person of a similar age who I get on with. She's very calm with me and knows not to take things personally when I'm in one of my moods. Finally there is Phoebe. She's married to Mike but he had to stay home with their son, Nate, who had a stomach bug that day.
I had returned to my room after my mum had done my hair into two plaits. Watching people arrive is a little overwhelming for me so I was waiting until everyone had arrived before I could go downstairs. There was a knock at my door and this face appeared.
'Hey, Maddie, Merry Christmas.' Emma pushed the door open fully and came in. She was wearing a red skirt, black top and stripy tights. She looked about 13. My mum says that Emma acts and dresses far too old for her age. I told her that with a mum like Aunt Rachel can you blame her.
'Hey.' I finally replied, not looking up.
'Are you coming down soon? Everyone is asking for you.'
'Is everyone here yet?'
'No, not yet.'
'Well, then I'm not coming down.'
'But...' Emma began and then stopped. She could see the look in my eyes. The look of anger, fear and hatred.
'Get out!' I screamed. She didn't move so I lunged at her, my eyes blazing. 'Get out!' My face was turning red and my throat was starting to hurt. She ran out of the room and I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. I could hear her footsteps on the stairs and then voices. A few moments later I heard a different pair of footsteps, this time going upstairs. Immediately I could tell it was my dad. I wasn't in any mood to speak to him, or anyone for that matter. So I quickly closed my door and locked it.
'Maddie?' I could hear his voice through the door. I didn't answer him. Instead, I sat down on my bed, drawing my knees up close. 'Baby, you alright?' He sounded genuinely concerned but still I didn't answer him. 'Lunch is going to be ready soon, ok? I'll see you down there.' It was a few moments before I heard the retreating footsteps.
The voices got louder as I made my way down the stairs. I could tell they were in the dining room so I cautiously made my way towards it. They were all sitting down with a delicious feast spread in front of them. Joey was sitting closest to the lamb, his mouth watering. We never have turkey at Christmas since we have it at Thanksgiving. Also since my mum is Jewish we don't go all out with everything, just a few presents. My dad was standing up, about to carve. Even though my dad rarely helps with the cooking he is the one that always carves the meat. Makes him feel manly, at least that is what he says. I think what he really means is that he doesn't want people to think he has nothing to do with preparing the food.
'Why did Jesus have to be born in the winter?' Aunt Rachel asked, rubbing her arms.
'Actually no one knows exactly when he was born.' Uncle Ross stated. 'Some people believe he was actually born in the summer.'
'Maybe he was born in Australia.' I spoke up from the doorway. Everyone laughed, except for Joey who looked confused.
'Come and sit down, sweetie.' My mum patted the space between her and dad. That was my safety net. I felt secure between them. Sitting down, I looked around at my parents' friends and family. Note I said my "parents' friends". I don't have any friends. They are really nice to me but they can't get close to me. Well, I mean if my parents can't then they would be winning a medal if they could, wouldn't they.
A/N: This takes place a few weeks after the previous one. Monica was about two months pregnant in that one and so is now about three months.
It was Christmas time and everywhere everyone was celebrating. Everyone that is, except me. I was sitting in my room doing nothing. Downstairs I could hear my parents moving around. Knowing my mum all the presents had been bought and wrapped in early September. I never got presents for anyone that was my parents' job. A week before Christmas my mum would present me with a load of labels, which I would have to write out. It was always the same – Name, Merry Christmas, Maddie. No terms of endearment would appear anywhere.
I decided it was probably time to go downstairs. My mum had laid out the dress she wanted me to wear. It was red and green tartan, extremely Christmassy. On top were four ribbons – two red and two green. I can do my own hair but my mum can do it so nicely. I grabbed the four ribbons and my hairbrush and went downstairs.
Both of my parents were in the kitchen. My mum was standing by the stove and my dad was getting out the best cutlery and china. He pulled out what he needed. I started to worry when he didn't stop at three.
'Are we having guests?' I asked from my place in the doorway. My parents glanced at each other and then at me.
'Yes, sweetie.' My dad said gently.
'Who?'
'Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel, Emma, Joey, Phoebe, Grandma and Grandpa.'
'Are you going to be ok?' My mum asked me. I knew why she was asking. I'm no good with large crowds. I can cope with about ten people, which is the number of people who were going to be at lunch. But I can only cope if I have some warning. One time I came downstairs to find everyone there. I hadn't been expecting it and spent the rest of the day in my room hiding. My parents tried to get me to come downstairs but I wouldn't, I couldn't. Now they let me know if people are going to come round so I can prepare myself.
I could sense my parents looking at me and I realised that I hadn't answered my mum's question.
'Can you do my hair for me please?' I had to look nice for our guests.
***
My grandparents arrived at midday. They were the last ones since they lived the furthest away. Joey had arrived first. Well, of course he would. He was still the same as he was over ten years ago when my parents lived across the hall from him. Anytime there is food involved you can guarantee that Joey will be the first to arrive. Next to arrive were Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel and Emma. The two of them got married about five years ago. Emma, my cousin, is 11 years old and is the only person of a similar age who I get on with. She's very calm with me and knows not to take things personally when I'm in one of my moods. Finally there is Phoebe. She's married to Mike but he had to stay home with their son, Nate, who had a stomach bug that day.
I had returned to my room after my mum had done my hair into two plaits. Watching people arrive is a little overwhelming for me so I was waiting until everyone had arrived before I could go downstairs. There was a knock at my door and this face appeared.
'Hey, Maddie, Merry Christmas.' Emma pushed the door open fully and came in. She was wearing a red skirt, black top and stripy tights. She looked about 13. My mum says that Emma acts and dresses far too old for her age. I told her that with a mum like Aunt Rachel can you blame her.
'Hey.' I finally replied, not looking up.
'Are you coming down soon? Everyone is asking for you.'
'Is everyone here yet?'
'No, not yet.'
'Well, then I'm not coming down.'
'But...' Emma began and then stopped. She could see the look in my eyes. The look of anger, fear and hatred.
'Get out!' I screamed. She didn't move so I lunged at her, my eyes blazing. 'Get out!' My face was turning red and my throat was starting to hurt. She ran out of the room and I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. I could hear her footsteps on the stairs and then voices. A few moments later I heard a different pair of footsteps, this time going upstairs. Immediately I could tell it was my dad. I wasn't in any mood to speak to him, or anyone for that matter. So I quickly closed my door and locked it.
'Maddie?' I could hear his voice through the door. I didn't answer him. Instead, I sat down on my bed, drawing my knees up close. 'Baby, you alright?' He sounded genuinely concerned but still I didn't answer him. 'Lunch is going to be ready soon, ok? I'll see you down there.' It was a few moments before I heard the retreating footsteps.
The voices got louder as I made my way down the stairs. I could tell they were in the dining room so I cautiously made my way towards it. They were all sitting down with a delicious feast spread in front of them. Joey was sitting closest to the lamb, his mouth watering. We never have turkey at Christmas since we have it at Thanksgiving. Also since my mum is Jewish we don't go all out with everything, just a few presents. My dad was standing up, about to carve. Even though my dad rarely helps with the cooking he is the one that always carves the meat. Makes him feel manly, at least that is what he says. I think what he really means is that he doesn't want people to think he has nothing to do with preparing the food.
'Why did Jesus have to be born in the winter?' Aunt Rachel asked, rubbing her arms.
'Actually no one knows exactly when he was born.' Uncle Ross stated. 'Some people believe he was actually born in the summer.'
'Maybe he was born in Australia.' I spoke up from the doorway. Everyone laughed, except for Joey who looked confused.
'Come and sit down, sweetie.' My mum patted the space between her and dad. That was my safety net. I felt secure between them. Sitting down, I looked around at my parents' friends and family. Note I said my "parents' friends". I don't have any friends. They are really nice to me but they can't get close to me. Well, I mean if my parents can't then they would be winning a medal if they could, wouldn't they.