Nobody Understands
Chapter 4 – Secret Passion
A/N: It is now the middle of January.
I sat at the top of the stairs watching my parents rush around getting ready for work. My dad worked in advertising and my mum was a chef in a top New York restaurant. They had both taken time off work when they found out about my problems and that was about 3 years ago. They couldn't spend forever off work so they decided to go back. They only work three days a week at work though. One of those days they spend with me separately, trying to build up their relationship with me. The other we spend as a family.
My dad was ready first. He picked up his briefcase and went looking for my mum. He circled the house once and ended up where he started, at the bottom of the stairs.
'I'm off now, sweetie.' He said softly. My mum turned around and grinned at him. 'Don't tire yourself out.' He reached his hand out and gently caressed her stomach. She was about four months pregnant and you could just about see that she wasn't fitting into her trousers anymore.
'I won't.' She told him, placing her hand on top of his. They gazed into each other's eyes. Dad suddenly snapped out of it and bent down to gently kiss Mum's bump.
'Bye baby, I love you.' He smiled briefly and then straightened up. 'Bye, Mon.' He kissed her on the lips and made his way towards the door.
'Am I invisible?' I asked sarcastically from the top of the stairs. I tried not to get angry because I knew that I didn't like all that mushy stuff.
'Course not, sweetheart.' Dad came up the stairs and tried to give me a hug. 'I'll see you later, ok?' I nodded. He turned and went towards the door for a second time. As he opened it Aisha appeared. He greeted her and then hurried out.
'Hello, Aisha.' Mum smiled at her and Aisha nodded her greeting. Putting her coat on, Mum turned to me. 'I'll be back at six but your dad should be back before. Be good.' She kissed my cheek and then left.
Aisha is my tutor. Due to my inability to be in large crowds and to socialise with children of my own age I have to have a tutor. She comes on the three days when Mum and Dad are at work. I do school work from 9 until 12. Then we have lunch and after Aisha goes home and Brian comes. Brian is my social therapist and he helps me learn how to relate to people and to cope in difficult situations.
'Hello, kiddo.' Aisha gave me her usual greeting as she hung up her coat.
'Hey.' I said quietly and stood up. She waited for me to come down the stairs. Aisha knows not to rush me. I don't mind doing the work, actually I quite enjoy it but I don't like to be hassled into anything and I get all bothered and panicky.
I followed her into the study and we sat down. I don't follow a set routine each day because some days I'm in the mood to do one subject more than another. The morning is broken up into three 55 minute sessions with a 5 minute break in between each one. That means I do three subjects a day. I'm supposed to do a certain number of sessions per subject, depending on its importance.
'Alright, Maddie, what will it be today?'
I studied the chart to see what I had already done that week. 'English, History and Art.' I said thoughtfully, after a while.
'Ok, let's get started then.'
I worked solidly for three hours and, if I do say so myself, I worked hard. Even Aisha thought so because I got a sticker in my progress book. My progress book is filled with stickers for good work and behaviour. When I get to ten, I get a little privilege. This could either be a trip somewhere, a present or getting out of doing my chores. My parents get to decide what it will be, depending on how quickly I got to the next ten.
At ten minutes to twelve I put my pencil down and looked at Aisha. She lifted her head up from her book and looked inquisitively at me, wondering why I had stopped.
'Can I show you something?' I asked, beginning to stand. 'It is relevant to art, honest.' I recognised the look on her face. She thought I was trying to get out of lessons early. She gave me permission and I ran upstairs to my room.
I quickly returned with a book. Aisha looked intrigued now. She put her bookmark in and put her book down.
'What's this?' She took the book out of my hands to look at it.
'It's a photography book of New York.' I opened it up and showed her the pictures. As we flicked through I explained about each of the pictures and what I thought the photographer was trying to achieve.
'You certainly know a lot about photography.' Aisha commented, glancing sideways at me. I shrugged and took the book back.
'I love photography and I love New York.'
'I never knew that.'
'No one does. My parents just thought I asked for that book for the sake of it.'
'Have you ever taken any photos?'
'I've taken a few. At gatherings mainly, when Mum has her camera out I borrow it and snap a few pictures. It's no big deal.'
'Can I see them?'
'Sure.' I stood up and hurried back up to my room. This time I returned with a scrap book. I showed her each photograph. On each page was two photos and underneath a description. I had used my best handwriting and decorated the pages.
'I don't have anything better to do.' I explained when I saw the look on her face.
'These pictures are incredible.'
'Thanks,' I said sceptically. I couldn't tell if she was being genuine or if she didn't want me to see me throw a paddy.
'No, I mean it. There's always room for improvement but...there is definitely something there. You've got a great talent for someone your age.'
I smiled, not quite sure what to say. I never do in these situations.
***
The doorbell rang at exactly one o'clock. Aisha and I were finishing off a lunch of sandwiches and fruit. I sat motionless in my chair so Aisha went to answer it. I never answer the door, or the telephone come to that. You never know who could be there. I heard muffled voices so got up to investigate. Brian had arrived and was talking to Aisha as she got ready to leave. He was getting all flustered every time she looked at him. I rolled my eyes; I would have to give him a grilling about this when she had gone.
'Bye, Maddie,' Aisha gave me a wave, 'See you next week. Bye, Brian.'
'Bye.' He managed to whisper. With that the door closed and she was gone.
'Hey, Maddie,' Brian walked past me and into the kitchen. I didn't answer him, instead I watched him with a knowing smile. 'What?'
'You like her.'
'Who?' He looked puzzled.
'Pamela Anderson!... Aisha, you idiot!'
'No I don't!' He was denying it but you could tell from his eyes that he was saying yes.
'Listen, I may not be able to give out the love but that doesn't mean I can't see it. Want me to find out if she likes you?'
'No!'
'Ok, ok. How about if I find out some information about her. Favourite flower, pet peeves, that sort of thing.'
Brian looked sceptically at me for a few moments but I just smiled at him and nodded. Operation Brian and Aisha was in place.
A/N: It is now the middle of January.
I sat at the top of the stairs watching my parents rush around getting ready for work. My dad worked in advertising and my mum was a chef in a top New York restaurant. They had both taken time off work when they found out about my problems and that was about 3 years ago. They couldn't spend forever off work so they decided to go back. They only work three days a week at work though. One of those days they spend with me separately, trying to build up their relationship with me. The other we spend as a family.
My dad was ready first. He picked up his briefcase and went looking for my mum. He circled the house once and ended up where he started, at the bottom of the stairs.
'I'm off now, sweetie.' He said softly. My mum turned around and grinned at him. 'Don't tire yourself out.' He reached his hand out and gently caressed her stomach. She was about four months pregnant and you could just about see that she wasn't fitting into her trousers anymore.
'I won't.' She told him, placing her hand on top of his. They gazed into each other's eyes. Dad suddenly snapped out of it and bent down to gently kiss Mum's bump.
'Bye baby, I love you.' He smiled briefly and then straightened up. 'Bye, Mon.' He kissed her on the lips and made his way towards the door.
'Am I invisible?' I asked sarcastically from the top of the stairs. I tried not to get angry because I knew that I didn't like all that mushy stuff.
'Course not, sweetheart.' Dad came up the stairs and tried to give me a hug. 'I'll see you later, ok?' I nodded. He turned and went towards the door for a second time. As he opened it Aisha appeared. He greeted her and then hurried out.
'Hello, Aisha.' Mum smiled at her and Aisha nodded her greeting. Putting her coat on, Mum turned to me. 'I'll be back at six but your dad should be back before. Be good.' She kissed my cheek and then left.
Aisha is my tutor. Due to my inability to be in large crowds and to socialise with children of my own age I have to have a tutor. She comes on the three days when Mum and Dad are at work. I do school work from 9 until 12. Then we have lunch and after Aisha goes home and Brian comes. Brian is my social therapist and he helps me learn how to relate to people and to cope in difficult situations.
'Hello, kiddo.' Aisha gave me her usual greeting as she hung up her coat.
'Hey.' I said quietly and stood up. She waited for me to come down the stairs. Aisha knows not to rush me. I don't mind doing the work, actually I quite enjoy it but I don't like to be hassled into anything and I get all bothered and panicky.
I followed her into the study and we sat down. I don't follow a set routine each day because some days I'm in the mood to do one subject more than another. The morning is broken up into three 55 minute sessions with a 5 minute break in between each one. That means I do three subjects a day. I'm supposed to do a certain number of sessions per subject, depending on its importance.
'Alright, Maddie, what will it be today?'
I studied the chart to see what I had already done that week. 'English, History and Art.' I said thoughtfully, after a while.
'Ok, let's get started then.'
I worked solidly for three hours and, if I do say so myself, I worked hard. Even Aisha thought so because I got a sticker in my progress book. My progress book is filled with stickers for good work and behaviour. When I get to ten, I get a little privilege. This could either be a trip somewhere, a present or getting out of doing my chores. My parents get to decide what it will be, depending on how quickly I got to the next ten.
At ten minutes to twelve I put my pencil down and looked at Aisha. She lifted her head up from her book and looked inquisitively at me, wondering why I had stopped.
'Can I show you something?' I asked, beginning to stand. 'It is relevant to art, honest.' I recognised the look on her face. She thought I was trying to get out of lessons early. She gave me permission and I ran upstairs to my room.
I quickly returned with a book. Aisha looked intrigued now. She put her bookmark in and put her book down.
'What's this?' She took the book out of my hands to look at it.
'It's a photography book of New York.' I opened it up and showed her the pictures. As we flicked through I explained about each of the pictures and what I thought the photographer was trying to achieve.
'You certainly know a lot about photography.' Aisha commented, glancing sideways at me. I shrugged and took the book back.
'I love photography and I love New York.'
'I never knew that.'
'No one does. My parents just thought I asked for that book for the sake of it.'
'Have you ever taken any photos?'
'I've taken a few. At gatherings mainly, when Mum has her camera out I borrow it and snap a few pictures. It's no big deal.'
'Can I see them?'
'Sure.' I stood up and hurried back up to my room. This time I returned with a scrap book. I showed her each photograph. On each page was two photos and underneath a description. I had used my best handwriting and decorated the pages.
'I don't have anything better to do.' I explained when I saw the look on her face.
'These pictures are incredible.'
'Thanks,' I said sceptically. I couldn't tell if she was being genuine or if she didn't want me to see me throw a paddy.
'No, I mean it. There's always room for improvement but...there is definitely something there. You've got a great talent for someone your age.'
I smiled, not quite sure what to say. I never do in these situations.
***
The doorbell rang at exactly one o'clock. Aisha and I were finishing off a lunch of sandwiches and fruit. I sat motionless in my chair so Aisha went to answer it. I never answer the door, or the telephone come to that. You never know who could be there. I heard muffled voices so got up to investigate. Brian had arrived and was talking to Aisha as she got ready to leave. He was getting all flustered every time she looked at him. I rolled my eyes; I would have to give him a grilling about this when she had gone.
'Bye, Maddie,' Aisha gave me a wave, 'See you next week. Bye, Brian.'
'Bye.' He managed to whisper. With that the door closed and she was gone.
'Hey, Maddie,' Brian walked past me and into the kitchen. I didn't answer him, instead I watched him with a knowing smile. 'What?'
'You like her.'
'Who?' He looked puzzled.
'Pamela Anderson!... Aisha, you idiot!'
'No I don't!' He was denying it but you could tell from his eyes that he was saying yes.
'Listen, I may not be able to give out the love but that doesn't mean I can't see it. Want me to find out if she likes you?'
'No!'
'Ok, ok. How about if I find out some information about her. Favourite flower, pet peeves, that sort of thing.'
Brian looked sceptically at me for a few moments but I just smiled at him and nodded. Operation Brian and Aisha was in place.