A/N: Yes an update they will all be updated eventually..so check backeth!

Chapter 6-Past recollections

"Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you loving you
I won't let you pull me down.."

"I just knew.."

Merle's words were the only thing on his mind all that day. Through out all his classes's he would pay less attention then usual. Hitomi continued to watch him all that day whenever she saw him. But Van hardly noticed. Her words had struck a place in his mind and heart. But he was hardly motivated to quit drugs that fast. Her words just made him think about things that he would have rather forgotten. Mainly his brother and two best friends.

"I don't want to lose you..Folken is gone...Chesta...Gatti."

They had died two years back all three of them one after the other. Folken was Van's mentor and most of all his best friend. It hurt him when his brother died., perhaps it hurt him the most. Both Gatti and Folken had died from an overdose. You would think Gatti would have been more careful after Folken had died. But Gatti was so far in he could have never saved himself. Chesta on the other hand was not stupid to overdose. He watched what he took..but even Chesta didn't watch enough. Aids were what killed Chesta. And Chesta suffered many a month before death came for him.

Van sat down on a park bench just outside there school, his demons from the past still clouding his mind. He allowed himself to think about his best friends but there was one part of his past that he never wanted to relive. He never wanted to think about..he just wanted to forget her. But he kept picturing her face..kept picturing the last moment of her life. It was all his fault she had died. Van shook his head to clear himself of the unwanted thoughts. He wouldn't allow it, he went a year without thinking about her.

"Hey Van."

Van help me..please

Van looked up and sighed at the site of Hitomi. Perhaps the last person he wanted to see today. Another demon to pester him. He acknowledged her presence with a simple nod. And yet Hitomi took it as an invitation to sit down. There was a good distance between the two of them, that Van rather welcomed.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

He said nothing to her and began to busy himself with looking at his shoe.

Van please there hurting me. Van..

Van shook his head again and groaned loudly. Why was she bothering him now? He hadn't thought about her for over a year. Hitomi in turn sighed at Van's groan.

"Why wont you look at me?" she asked.

Van chuckled loudly and looked at his shoe for a moment longer before answering, "I'm afraid I'll do something drastic."

"Like what?" she inquired.

Van chuckled again but did not answer her, as time went on his shoe was becoming more interesting.

"James said he saw you go into the washroom.."

"Did he now?"

"Were you?"

"Yea what's it to you?" he said still looking down to his shoe.

"It's not my fault I care." she said in a distressed manner.

Van sighed again and finally looked up to Hitomi, he reached out to her and pulled her to him. Closing the gap between them. Hitomi stiffened in his arms but Van ignored her. He wrapped an arm around her and held her close. Hitomi relaxed some and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"This is nice." Hitomi mumbled.

"Yea." Van agreed smiling in a content manner.

Van..Van...please

But like all nice things in Van's life it would soon end abruptly.

"I'm going out with Allen."

And so it ends..

A/N: Updates will come sooon