Trust My Heart
by: Cathy-chan
Chapter 7: Heart & Mind
" 'Grandon Massacre'? What's that?" asked Rinoa, unaware of the sudden, agitated silence.
Selphie had a better understanding. Like most of them there, she was still having trouble sinking their commander's words in. "I thought that was just a boogie story to make the Juniors fly straight."
"It sounds really bad..." Rinoa commented.
"Yeah, it's that bad," Zell said. The typical joking grin on his face was completely gone. "I remember the instructors telling me this story when I was a Junior. That guy used to be a SeeD, they said. He was part of a small, newly formed Garden called Grandon 'cause it was beside a small town with the same name. Then someone really wanted the SeeDs dead, so the guy betrayed them by telling the enemies everything about the ship's weak points for some cold, dirty cash. Him and the enemies planted bombs on Grandon Garden," He paused, swallowed. "and it fell beneath the town. The people in both the ship and town died instantly after an explosion."
"It's real facts according to that file." Seifer said; he looked nearly smug about his findings, yet with it was deep seriousness. Once again, he turned to Quistis, his tone impersonal, not mocking. "It's not commonly talked about these days, being such a horror story to all Gardens. They don't say much who caused it; Mr. Atkin's father is just a con-man, a simple theif. But because of his treason many years ago, he's been a wanted man for a long, long while. They say he's still out there, forming a destructive group."
Quistis didn't answer quickly, her mind was elsewhere, trying to comprehend something else. Her voice sounded distant. "I...I've never listened to any of the scary stories about Gardens. I was too busy paying attention to my studies or instructing..."
"Then get ol' Commander here to tell it to you, since he likes logical statements so much." Seifer returned Hyperion back into the folds of his trenchcoat. "In the meantime, I'm gonna see who else's involved in this besides your new friend. He couldn't have bombed the Garden by himself."
"Where are you going?" Squall asked coldly.
"Where do you think, P-Boy? You of all people know the Garden needs to get justice so I'm gonna investigate, find the other thugs responsible."
"You...?" he sneered. "Wanting justice?"
"That's what I've always been doing since the Disciplinary Committee. What're you thinkin' anyway, keep me here for doing nothing wrong? 'Sides, 'Commander Leonhart,' I'm the most capable here to get to the bottom of the case. You SeeDs just stay here and repair your Garden while I arrest them."
Zell and Irvine's eyes all but went in flames at Seifer's haughtiness.
"What makes you think we'll trust you with anything?" Irvine asked rudely.
Seifer snorted. "Heh! I don't need your trust. I'm doing this by myself."
His rival looked at him thoughtfully and asked, "You could be setting us up, working for the criminals themselves."
Confidently, Seifer showed a wicked grin. "If I was you'd all be dead by now." He turned for the exit. "Anyway, what're you gonna do 'bout it? I'm a clean man now, Squall. Can't just beat me up for giving you evidence." With many eyes glaring at his back, he left as calmly as he came. Secretly, Irvine whispered something in Squall's ear, and the commander nodded an approval.
Quistis' attention was returning to the present. She asked Squall, "How can you be sure that Bradley is involved in the bombing? What if he really did save the Garden...?" she stopped herself from adding '..and what if his kind words to me were honest?'
Squall raised a brow. "You think he's innocent?"
"Well...m-maybe all of it really is a coincidence," she continued doggedly on, trying to let it all out before she lost her calmness, "I mean you all saw he got injured in rescuing the Garden, right? He was with me the whole time. He's not the kind of person to hurt others. He's not a bad person. He couldn't've....!"
Squall came closer to her, he said softly, "Quistis, you know I've been suspicious of him since I first saw him..." He felt like the biggest jerk, but she had to know the truth. With keeping his eyes on the envelope and not her, he continued, "I've been researching Bradley's file recently, and what Seifer has's pretty close to what I got." He looked up, waited for Quistis to look at him before speaking again. She has to know or else she'll get hurt a lot more if I don't tell her now. "Bradley Atkins was jailed three years ago. Something concerning a small gang he formed to bomb an armoured SeeD boat. This was after being reported that he spent time with his father, Joseph, and quit his enrollment at Galbadia Garden. He was following his footsteps, Quistis...I'm sorry..." Adding the apology in the end didn't stop the flicker of pain he saw in her expression. He considered speaking more of his sympathy, wrapping an arm around her or....something. He knew Quistis since childhood; there must be something he could do as a friend.
But before he could do anything, she backed away. "...I need to rest for a while," she said slowly. "I've been up all day helping the injured." A lie. What she really wanted was time to think and grow sadder.
"All right. Take as much rest as you want." He watched her turn and disappear across the hallway. She looked very tired, he thought. He felt like kicking himself for being the one to shove reality at her. And he wanted to stab his gunblade at Bradley's chest for using her. But attending to the Garden and its people were more important than revenge at the moment. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He turned to the others. "That's what the meeting would've been about. The rest of you can go back to assisting the ship's repair. I'm going to...take a break for a while. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my dorm."
Rinoa followed him without argument while the others scattered to other locations, all thinking of one, heartbroken friend.
~~~~~~
Quistis went to the one place that could comfort her. No one was at the secret balcony connected to the Training Center; they were all busy reconstructing the Garden. She was next in line to Commander Leonhart, she should be commanding things as well, but she couldn't. She assumed the view of the setting sun on the balcony would help, but it didn't. For her brain had been drowned out by the words yelling in her head: You've been used...this is the punishment you get for trying to trust in people again...it was all a trick...
The screaming words formed visions of an adopted mother and father in her mind. The memories resurfaced on their own accord. She could feel the old regrets and bruises again. She trusted Fate to give her a family that would understand. She trusted them to love her, instead they tried to rule her life, tried to stop her from achieving her dreams. It had hurt too much; she ran away to a Garden. Then her heart said she loved Squall, but it was wrong again. Again and again, she had wounded herself with a foolish heart, until she could stand no more of it. She stopped listening to its cries for someone to love, for someone to believe in.
Then Bradley came along. As if those previous disappointments and hurt didn't exist, she trusted him. It marveled and pleased her like nothing else to see him look at her the way he did. He freed her from the familiar doubt that surrounded her every, single day. As she leaned on the railing, staring blindly at the setting sun, she began to realize the impact he had made on her. Everyday things began to look different; she herself felt different. But hadn't she known him for only a couple of days or so? It felt like forever to her, as if there was an important transition in her life. She had received tenderness and betrayal in one brief encounter. The price she paid for a few day's happiness.
After being bruised repeatedly throughout her life, she had found a way to hide the pain with smiles and solitude. She even found a way to cope with the painful experiences with an objective view. You should've listened to your brain earlier, Trepe, she told herself. If you did none of this would've happened. You should be happy, Trepe. Now the Garden will know who to arrest. Now you can go back to your career; no more getting sidetracked-- Tears began to form on her eyes. --sidetracked by what? Love?
Her hands began to tremble, then her entire body. The shaking brought her to her knees. An acid taste lodged in her throat. She couldn't understand where the tears, the unstoppable sobbing, came from. She was frustrated at suddenly seeing his face in her mind, at feeling his kiss on her lips. She still felt betrayed most of all. Though, this time, her heart cried out that she had betrayed herself.
What if they're wrong? A small voice inside her asked. What if for once, Quistis Trepe, your heart is the one and only thing that's right?
"What if...?" she whispered. Ridiculous! There were too many other things and people that said otherwise. It was the most illogical theory she had ever formulated in her life. Then again, emotions were never rational.
No solid proof of a criminal. Other things must be considered. For one, she saw him injured after rescuing the Garden. True, it was strange that he knew about another explosive, but he seemed genuinely serious about saving her and her friends' lives. The explosive device in the bridge was clearly more powerful than the one at the rear. Why plant a bomb at a crucial place one day and throw it out of the window the next? If Bradley was a saboteur, would it not been wiser to disappear while he had the chance? He could've made it appear as if the bomb killed him while he was trying to save the ship, leaving the SeeDs with no trace of a suspect. And since when did the ship's security become so weak in the bridge? There was always at least one person in the bridge at night or day, and it also had its own computerized security system too. Selphie and Nida watched while he repaired the window; it was impossible to do anything then without them noticing. She also remembered not taking Bradley to the back of the ship since it was an uninteresting area. As far as she knew, he had never been there.
The two sides of the story were beginning to weigh evenly. Perhaps the evidence against Bradley weren't as strong as everyone thought. He had done a felony in his youth, as Squall told her, but there was a strong line between damaging a ship and attempted slaughter of SeeDs. Fathers, more often than not, shape the lives of their son, but she didn't strike Bradley as one that did heinous deeds merely because his father, Joseph, told him to do so.
She wiped the tears away and stood up with weakened knees.
SeeDs were taught to trust methodical reasoning to solve a mystery; therefore, it was no surprise everyone she knew, including her friends, had a negative conclusion for Bradley. Squall had a bad feeling for him in the beginning, but was it just because of his name? I know he's like that 'cause he cares, but could his good intentions cloud his judgment? Quistis thought. The most logical explanation to every, single problem is not always the answer....Right? She would take hold of no arguments or judgments...not yet...not until she was absolutely certain she had uncovered all.
With purposeful steps and a singular destination in mind, she strode through the hallways. Courage came to her, in spite of it being a little unsteady. She would not yield until the truth was found. Risking all, she trusted her heart and mind. And if all were true, perhaps there was still hope for the growing love she felt was meant to be.
To be continued...
Author's Note: It was a bit on the short side, right? I know I usually write my chapters long, but, at the moment, I couldn't figure out what to do about the next events. '^^ Hope it's not a case of writer's block, eh? I'm not an author prone to writing mystery fics, but this must be the first one that comes close. They didn't explain anything about Quistis' past in the game. Only close to the very end did she say somthing about her adopted parents and her running away during a visit to Edea's orphanage. So I filled in a bit of an explanation and a past in this chapter. Anyway, tell me what you think so far. I didn't expect anyone to be reading this since people mostly are into Seifer+Quistis stuff, but I like being unprecedented and unconventional. Hope you like it so far. Thanks again for readig it!
by: Cathy-chan
Chapter 7: Heart & Mind
" 'Grandon Massacre'? What's that?" asked Rinoa, unaware of the sudden, agitated silence.
Selphie had a better understanding. Like most of them there, she was still having trouble sinking their commander's words in. "I thought that was just a boogie story to make the Juniors fly straight."
"It sounds really bad..." Rinoa commented.
"Yeah, it's that bad," Zell said. The typical joking grin on his face was completely gone. "I remember the instructors telling me this story when I was a Junior. That guy used to be a SeeD, they said. He was part of a small, newly formed Garden called Grandon 'cause it was beside a small town with the same name. Then someone really wanted the SeeDs dead, so the guy betrayed them by telling the enemies everything about the ship's weak points for some cold, dirty cash. Him and the enemies planted bombs on Grandon Garden," He paused, swallowed. "and it fell beneath the town. The people in both the ship and town died instantly after an explosion."
"It's real facts according to that file." Seifer said; he looked nearly smug about his findings, yet with it was deep seriousness. Once again, he turned to Quistis, his tone impersonal, not mocking. "It's not commonly talked about these days, being such a horror story to all Gardens. They don't say much who caused it; Mr. Atkin's father is just a con-man, a simple theif. But because of his treason many years ago, he's been a wanted man for a long, long while. They say he's still out there, forming a destructive group."
Quistis didn't answer quickly, her mind was elsewhere, trying to comprehend something else. Her voice sounded distant. "I...I've never listened to any of the scary stories about Gardens. I was too busy paying attention to my studies or instructing..."
"Then get ol' Commander here to tell it to you, since he likes logical statements so much." Seifer returned Hyperion back into the folds of his trenchcoat. "In the meantime, I'm gonna see who else's involved in this besides your new friend. He couldn't have bombed the Garden by himself."
"Where are you going?" Squall asked coldly.
"Where do you think, P-Boy? You of all people know the Garden needs to get justice so I'm gonna investigate, find the other thugs responsible."
"You...?" he sneered. "Wanting justice?"
"That's what I've always been doing since the Disciplinary Committee. What're you thinkin' anyway, keep me here for doing nothing wrong? 'Sides, 'Commander Leonhart,' I'm the most capable here to get to the bottom of the case. You SeeDs just stay here and repair your Garden while I arrest them."
Zell and Irvine's eyes all but went in flames at Seifer's haughtiness.
"What makes you think we'll trust you with anything?" Irvine asked rudely.
Seifer snorted. "Heh! I don't need your trust. I'm doing this by myself."
His rival looked at him thoughtfully and asked, "You could be setting us up, working for the criminals themselves."
Confidently, Seifer showed a wicked grin. "If I was you'd all be dead by now." He turned for the exit. "Anyway, what're you gonna do 'bout it? I'm a clean man now, Squall. Can't just beat me up for giving you evidence." With many eyes glaring at his back, he left as calmly as he came. Secretly, Irvine whispered something in Squall's ear, and the commander nodded an approval.
Quistis' attention was returning to the present. She asked Squall, "How can you be sure that Bradley is involved in the bombing? What if he really did save the Garden...?" she stopped herself from adding '..and what if his kind words to me were honest?'
Squall raised a brow. "You think he's innocent?"
"Well...m-maybe all of it really is a coincidence," she continued doggedly on, trying to let it all out before she lost her calmness, "I mean you all saw he got injured in rescuing the Garden, right? He was with me the whole time. He's not the kind of person to hurt others. He's not a bad person. He couldn't've....!"
Squall came closer to her, he said softly, "Quistis, you know I've been suspicious of him since I first saw him..." He felt like the biggest jerk, but she had to know the truth. With keeping his eyes on the envelope and not her, he continued, "I've been researching Bradley's file recently, and what Seifer has's pretty close to what I got." He looked up, waited for Quistis to look at him before speaking again. She has to know or else she'll get hurt a lot more if I don't tell her now. "Bradley Atkins was jailed three years ago. Something concerning a small gang he formed to bomb an armoured SeeD boat. This was after being reported that he spent time with his father, Joseph, and quit his enrollment at Galbadia Garden. He was following his footsteps, Quistis...I'm sorry..." Adding the apology in the end didn't stop the flicker of pain he saw in her expression. He considered speaking more of his sympathy, wrapping an arm around her or....something. He knew Quistis since childhood; there must be something he could do as a friend.
But before he could do anything, she backed away. "...I need to rest for a while," she said slowly. "I've been up all day helping the injured." A lie. What she really wanted was time to think and grow sadder.
"All right. Take as much rest as you want." He watched her turn and disappear across the hallway. She looked very tired, he thought. He felt like kicking himself for being the one to shove reality at her. And he wanted to stab his gunblade at Bradley's chest for using her. But attending to the Garden and its people were more important than revenge at the moment. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He turned to the others. "That's what the meeting would've been about. The rest of you can go back to assisting the ship's repair. I'm going to...take a break for a while. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my dorm."
Rinoa followed him without argument while the others scattered to other locations, all thinking of one, heartbroken friend.
~~~~~~
Quistis went to the one place that could comfort her. No one was at the secret balcony connected to the Training Center; they were all busy reconstructing the Garden. She was next in line to Commander Leonhart, she should be commanding things as well, but she couldn't. She assumed the view of the setting sun on the balcony would help, but it didn't. For her brain had been drowned out by the words yelling in her head: You've been used...this is the punishment you get for trying to trust in people again...it was all a trick...
The screaming words formed visions of an adopted mother and father in her mind. The memories resurfaced on their own accord. She could feel the old regrets and bruises again. She trusted Fate to give her a family that would understand. She trusted them to love her, instead they tried to rule her life, tried to stop her from achieving her dreams. It had hurt too much; she ran away to a Garden. Then her heart said she loved Squall, but it was wrong again. Again and again, she had wounded herself with a foolish heart, until she could stand no more of it. She stopped listening to its cries for someone to love, for someone to believe in.
Then Bradley came along. As if those previous disappointments and hurt didn't exist, she trusted him. It marveled and pleased her like nothing else to see him look at her the way he did. He freed her from the familiar doubt that surrounded her every, single day. As she leaned on the railing, staring blindly at the setting sun, she began to realize the impact he had made on her. Everyday things began to look different; she herself felt different. But hadn't she known him for only a couple of days or so? It felt like forever to her, as if there was an important transition in her life. She had received tenderness and betrayal in one brief encounter. The price she paid for a few day's happiness.
After being bruised repeatedly throughout her life, she had found a way to hide the pain with smiles and solitude. She even found a way to cope with the painful experiences with an objective view. You should've listened to your brain earlier, Trepe, she told herself. If you did none of this would've happened. You should be happy, Trepe. Now the Garden will know who to arrest. Now you can go back to your career; no more getting sidetracked-- Tears began to form on her eyes. --sidetracked by what? Love?
Her hands began to tremble, then her entire body. The shaking brought her to her knees. An acid taste lodged in her throat. She couldn't understand where the tears, the unstoppable sobbing, came from. She was frustrated at suddenly seeing his face in her mind, at feeling his kiss on her lips. She still felt betrayed most of all. Though, this time, her heart cried out that she had betrayed herself.
What if they're wrong? A small voice inside her asked. What if for once, Quistis Trepe, your heart is the one and only thing that's right?
"What if...?" she whispered. Ridiculous! There were too many other things and people that said otherwise. It was the most illogical theory she had ever formulated in her life. Then again, emotions were never rational.
No solid proof of a criminal. Other things must be considered. For one, she saw him injured after rescuing the Garden. True, it was strange that he knew about another explosive, but he seemed genuinely serious about saving her and her friends' lives. The explosive device in the bridge was clearly more powerful than the one at the rear. Why plant a bomb at a crucial place one day and throw it out of the window the next? If Bradley was a saboteur, would it not been wiser to disappear while he had the chance? He could've made it appear as if the bomb killed him while he was trying to save the ship, leaving the SeeDs with no trace of a suspect. And since when did the ship's security become so weak in the bridge? There was always at least one person in the bridge at night or day, and it also had its own computerized security system too. Selphie and Nida watched while he repaired the window; it was impossible to do anything then without them noticing. She also remembered not taking Bradley to the back of the ship since it was an uninteresting area. As far as she knew, he had never been there.
The two sides of the story were beginning to weigh evenly. Perhaps the evidence against Bradley weren't as strong as everyone thought. He had done a felony in his youth, as Squall told her, but there was a strong line between damaging a ship and attempted slaughter of SeeDs. Fathers, more often than not, shape the lives of their son, but she didn't strike Bradley as one that did heinous deeds merely because his father, Joseph, told him to do so.
She wiped the tears away and stood up with weakened knees.
SeeDs were taught to trust methodical reasoning to solve a mystery; therefore, it was no surprise everyone she knew, including her friends, had a negative conclusion for Bradley. Squall had a bad feeling for him in the beginning, but was it just because of his name? I know he's like that 'cause he cares, but could his good intentions cloud his judgment? Quistis thought. The most logical explanation to every, single problem is not always the answer....Right? She would take hold of no arguments or judgments...not yet...not until she was absolutely certain she had uncovered all.
With purposeful steps and a singular destination in mind, she strode through the hallways. Courage came to her, in spite of it being a little unsteady. She would not yield until the truth was found. Risking all, she trusted her heart and mind. And if all were true, perhaps there was still hope for the growing love she felt was meant to be.
To be continued...
Author's Note: It was a bit on the short side, right? I know I usually write my chapters long, but, at the moment, I couldn't figure out what to do about the next events. '^^ Hope it's not a case of writer's block, eh? I'm not an author prone to writing mystery fics, but this must be the first one that comes close. They didn't explain anything about Quistis' past in the game. Only close to the very end did she say somthing about her adopted parents and her running away during a visit to Edea's orphanage. So I filled in a bit of an explanation and a past in this chapter. Anyway, tell me what you think so far. I didn't expect anyone to be reading this since people mostly are into Seifer+Quistis stuff, but I like being unprecedented and unconventional. Hope you like it so far. Thanks again for readig it!