by Cynthia Taz
The Recruit
Background: Nikita with Michael, which for much Operations dislike.
Notes 1: Another story that I've found in my hard disk... it was actually done more than a year ago... I've even got the banner for it... don't ask me why I didn't post it until now... cos I really have no idea... hehe...
Notes 2: I haven't really watch many La Femme Nikita's ep., so some of the things in the stories may not be true in the series.
[ Thoughts ]
Tara was scared.
She didn't understand what was going on. One minute she was in the hospital, waiting for the doctor, the next she was being blindfolded and taken away by three large men.
When the blindfold was removed, she found herself sitting in a white room, a woman standing in front of her.
She told her she was now officially dead. They faked her death, or more preciously, her suicide.
She gave her an offer.
She told Tara that Tara could either join them, Section One, the most covert anti-terrorism organization in the world, or being 'cancelled'.
If you considered that as an offer.
What choice did she have?
==="Hello Tara."
"H-hi Madeline." Tara greeted the master strategist nervously. It had been a year since she was 'recruited' by Section One, and this woman was the one who gave her the 'offer', the one who had changed her live completely.
"Sit." Madeline smiled, even though it didn't reach her eyes. Tara sat on the couch. It was put in front of a fireplace with a small coffee table in between them. Nearby, there was a wood office table with a computer on it. Plants and painting surrounded the working area, creating a warm and nice atmosphere around the room.
"So," Madeline sat on the armchair near the couch. "I heard you did pretty well in your training."
"T-thank you." Tara blushed.
The door opened. Tara turned, and saw a small redhead walked into the room. "Michael said you wanted to see me."
"Willow." Madeline said. "She's Tara. Tara," she looked at Tara. "This is Willow. She's one of the superiors in Section One. From now on, she'll be your new trainer."
"H-hi." Tara smiled. She stood up and held out her hand, but Willow just eyed at her for a second before turning back to Madeline. "Can I speak to you in private?"
"If you want to say that you don't want to train her, save it." Madeline said coldly.
"Michael can do a better job than me."
"Michael has his hands full. Tara had already been trained in Europe for a year. It shouldn't be hard for you to follow up her training."
"But-"
"This is final. Ask Birkoff for her file and progress report. Show her around. Michael will take charge of the mission at three." Madeline said firmly.
Willow stared at Madeline for a moment, sighed, feeling defeated. "Fine. C'mon." She left the room without even waiting for Tara.
Tara looked at Madeline. Madeline nodded, gestured her to follow the redhead. When Tara walked out of the room, Willow had already reached the end of the hallway. She turned, staring coldly at Tara. Tara walked quickly towards Willow. "Um..." Before Tara could say anything, Willow turned and walked again. Tara sighed.
Willow walked around the base with Tara followed behind. During the whole tour Willow didn't say a thing, which made Tara very frustrated. First being forced to join the Section, then being locked inside the base in Europe for whole year, training day and night. Not that she wasn't happy there, but then suddenly she was sent back to US with a hot beautiful redhead trainer who obviously hated her. Could her live be more suck?
"Birkoff." Willow stopped in the computer center. A young man and a tall blonde turned and greeted the redhead.
"Willow." The man who called Birkoff smiled. He took a disk from the desk and handed it to Willow. "Madeline told me to give you this." He looked over Willow's shoulder and saw Tara. "You're... Tara?"
"Um... hi."
"Hi." Birkoff smiled brightly. "I'm Birkoff."
"Nikita." The woman beside Birkoff said. She walked closer and shook her hand. "Welcome to Section One."
"H-hi." Tara smiled shyly.
"It's almost lunch. Report to my office at two." Willow ordered, and left without saying another word.
The three of them watched Willow left. Nikita turned and saw Tara's face. "Don't worry. She'll come around."
"Yeah." Birkoff stared at Willow's back for a moment, then turned back to Tara. "So, lunch?"
===Willow sat on her chair, cursing Madeline and Operations under her breath. She knew the master strategist and the leader might hear her from the recording system inside the office, so she never cursed them loud. But that didn't mean she wouldn't. She just did that quietly. True, she was a superior, but she didn't ask for it. It was Madeline and Operations who forced her to take the post in the first place. And now ordered her to train a new, well, or rather, old recruit? What would they force her to do next? Cook them dinner?
After cursing them for a whole five minutes, Willow finally felt better. She sighed, and put in the disk Birkoff had given her. Tara MaClay, twenty-three, singl- waited. Twenty-three? She was even older than her! Well, then of course, almost the whole Section was older than her. Tara was recruited a year ago, then sent to Europe to train. Her trainer was Dolenc. Willow remembered him. She had met him twice. Nice guy, but not efficient. Willow continued to read the file, and started to wonder why Section One would be interested in her in the first place. She was a quiet girl with good result at school, but nothing special. The only thing that caught Willow's attention was her family. Her mother died when she was 17. Her father and brother were rather well known with their abuse of women. Her mother and she had been sent to hospital quite number of times being abused by her father and brother. Why didn't someone do something about it was beyond her. Might be she could find some excuse and cancelled their sorry ass? Willow smirked at that thought.
===Tara was now standing in front of Willow's office. Birkoff, Nikita, another operative called Walter and she had decided to have lunch in the base canteen that afternoon. Not that they had any choice, since Tara was still under training, she was not allowed to go out without permission from her superior and trainer, Willow. Tara was glad that she met them though. Birkoff was all over computers, Nikita was kind and Walter was sweet. They had told her a lot about Section One and Willow.
According to them, Willow was the youngest and yet considered to be the most efficient superior in Section One. She was quite famous since she had only joined Section One for five years while most people had worked more than ten years before becoming a superior. Even so, no one doubted her ability. The successful rate of her operations were one of the highest amount superiors in history, and even before becoming a superior, her ability had already impressed lots of people in the Section. May be that's why Willow didn't like her. But Nikita had assured her that Willow only acted this way because she didn't know her well. She said that Willow was actually a warm, friendly and even a bit cute person and there's nothing Tara should be afraid of.
Taking a deep breath, Tara held out her hand and prepared to knock. But before her hand reached the door, the door opened.
"Come in."
Tara walked into the room. Different from Madeline's, Willow's office was much more... office. It was a bit smaller, and the main colors in the room were white and silver. Willow was sitting behind a large white office table with two computers and a small plant on it. Behind her, there was a large bookcase which filled of books, files and computer disks. If Madeline's office was warm and comfy, Willow's office was cold and hard. Tara wondered if one's room could really affect their personality. Willow's face was as cold as her office.
"Sit." She said. Tara took the chair in front of the desk, and waited.
After thirty minutes, still, none of them spoke. Willow kept busy typing between her two computers, while Tara busy staring at the floor, waiting for her superior to say something.
The door suddenly opened. Tara turned, and saw a tall man walked inside the room. Willow looked up. "Michael."
"Willow." Michael said. "I'm going to take charge for the mission at three."
"I know." She said, handing the man a disk, then turned back to her screen.
Michael took the disk, staring at Tara for a moment with the same cold expression as Willow, then turned and left.
"He's Michael, the other superior in here." Willow said without looking.
"Oh." Tara looked down again. Was that all superiors in here were supposed to be like that? Like a superior thingy?
Willow stopped typing after sometime, turned to Tara, and stared at her. Tara felt her eyes, yet didn't dare to make any eye contact with her new trainer.
"You trained in Europe for a year, by Dolenc?"
Tara nodded.
"Your training starts tomorrow."
Tara nodded again.
"Questions?"
Tara shook her head.
Willow sighed. "I don't care what Dolenc told you. As far as I concern, you're under my training now, so you gonna follow everything I say. Do I make myself clear?"
Tara nodded.
"First, when I asked a question, I except an answer."
Tara nodded, but not getting what she meant.
"Coming from your mouth."
Tara nodded halfway before realized what she did. "Y-yes ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am. Call me Willow."
"Y-yes m- W-w-willow." Tara whispered, still staring at the floor. [She must think I'm a dork.]
"You won't be allowed to leave this base until further notice. Understood?"
"Y-y-yes."
"Good." Willow stared at Tara for a moment. She stood up, and walked closer to Tara. Tara heart beat twice faster when she felt the redhead walking closer and closer.
Willow stopped in front of Tara. "You stuttered."
"W-when I-I-I a-am r-really n-nervous." Tara head dropped even lower, her long blond hair covered her face. [Stop! Stop the stutter!]
"Look at me."
Tara didn't hear what Willow said, but kept staring at the floor, praying to God that Willow won't be angry with her.
Willow sighed. She put her hand under Tara's chin and pushed it upwards slowly, forcing Tara to face her. "You don't need to be nervous. I don't bite." She said softly. Her hands slowly moved towards Tara's forehead, pushing away the hair covering the blonde's face. No longer able to hide herself from Willow, Tara stared right into Willow's green orbs.
Willow's thumb unconsciously rested on the side of Tara's face, it started stroking her silk soft skin. Tara didn't aware of that though. She was lost in Willow's beautiful yet sad eyes. Her expression was no longer cold, but showed understanding and concern, and something more. Something that she never saw before. Something that she longed for and yet couldn't believe she would find it one day. Love.
After a minute, Willow cleared her throat and pulled herself away. Tara looked down again immediately, her face flashed.
Willow walked towards the door. "I'll take you to your room." Tara's eyes downcast and followed without another word.
===It had been almost a year since Tara arrived the US base trained by Willow. But they didn't really talk much. Usually, Willow would come to her room in the morning, bringing her to different instructors for different trainings then leave. She would sometimes appear in the middle of the training, watching her silently, then left again without a word. During all these time, they never talk. They only speak when necessary. Tara had first tried to have an actual conversation with her trainer, but she gave up after a week or so. Willow had kept her poker face on the whole time, well, at least in front of people. Tara swore she had seen her smile (or rather smirk) at her office once, though it disappeared within a second.
"Hey sweetie." Tara turned and smiled when she saw Walter standing behind her with a tray of food in his hands.
Walter put down his tray and sat beside Tara. He looked at the direction Tara was glazing a second ago, and saw Willow sitting at the far corner, busy typing something on her laptop while having a pancake. "How's your training?" He turned and looked at Tara.
Tara head dropped a bit. "Um... okay." Tara shifted a bit, her eyes moved back towards Willow's direction unconsciously. Walter studied her face, and smiled. "What?"
"She used to smile all the time, you know?" Walter said. "I remembered when I first met her. She was really friendly, and warm, kinda fussy actually."
"Fussy?" Tara blinked.
"And babbled alot too."
"Fussy and babble?" Tara was surprised. Fussy Willow babbling... must be really cute. Tara smiled at the image.
"Too bad you never heard her babble. Or you'll love her more."
"Yeah. Too- oh." Tara blushed. "H-how d-"
"Oh c'mon. I may be old but I'm not blind. You stared at her all the time, like you gonna eat her any minute."
"T-that obvious?"
Walter nodded, his expression turned serious. "But you better be careful. The Section doesn't really appreciate relationship between operatives, especially with superiors."
"We are not... I mean... She isn't..." She sighed. "She doesn't like me anyway... but what about Michael and Nikita?"
"Michael and Nikita?" Walter looked at Tara for a moment. "So you know."
"They're quite obvious." Tara smiled apology. "I don't suppose to know, am I?"
Walter shook his head and moved a bit closer to Tara, speaking in a low voice. "Doesn't matter. The whole Section knows. But they are a special case. Both have someone look after them," Walter pointed at the ceiling. "Upstairs. You don't. I'm not sure about Willow but I doubt she has. You may not as lucky as them."
Tara nodded. She turned and saw Michael walked towards the redhead. They talked for a minute. Michael left. Willow stood, staring at Tara for a minute, then left behind Michael.
==="Michael said you want to see me." Willow entered Operations' office, which was on the second floor. She always believed it should be called Operations' hallway instead of office. There was no chair, no desk, no nothing except a screen on the wall with some keys below it. On the opposite side it was a huge full-length two-way mirror instead of solid wall, allowing Operation to overview the control center of the base. She wondered if Operations ever felt tired or bored, standing there whole day doing nothing.
"Alec Chandler is in New York." As usual, Operations stood in front of the glass watching operatives working downstairs.
"Alec Chandler?" Willow frowned. "I thought he was contained."
"He broke out." Operations said as a fact, devoured no emotion in it. "Stop him before he left the country." Paused. "Whatever it takes."
"Okay." Willow prepared to leave when Operations' voice stopped her.
"I want the new girl to be on team one."
Willow frozen. She turned back to Operations. "The new-"
"Tara."
"She's not ready."
"She is." Operations turned around and looked at Willow.
"She has only been training for eleven months!"
"One year and eleven months."
"Only eleven months under my instruction." Willow said firmly. "She's not ready."
"Then cancel her."
"That would be a huge mistake." Willow tightened her fist. "She just need a bit more time."
"I've already given her lots of times. Two years is our policy." Operations turned his attention back to downstairs. "This will be her first assignment." Paused. "If she fail, cancel her."
"I still think it's a huge mistake." Willow said quietly, turned and started walking away.
"Willow?"
Willow turned.
"Don't let your personal feeling affect your judgment."
Willow stared at Operations' back for a moment. "I won't." She left without another word.
===Willow walked towards the training room quietly. She had spent her whole day shopping, preparing everything for the new apartment. There were tones of works waiting for her to do, and most of them were related to a certain blonde. She just hoped that all her works won't be wasted...
No. She wouldn't allow it. Operations had made it clear that if Tara failed in her first assignment, she would be cancelled. Willow wanted to argue with him, to beat some sense into him, but what could she really do? Arguing further wouldn't do much good, since Operations never changed his mind on such thing. It would probably only made things worst - Operations was like a spoil kid. You didn't argue with him, you didn't make threat to him, or it would be hell to pay. Willow had already argued with him more than once over Tara's training process - that he wanted to put Tara in actions. Willow had already delayed it for almost half year, and obviously, Operations didn't want to wait anymore.
Willow knew the day would come sooner or later, that she would need to put Tara in operations. Two years. If the trainee wasn't ready after two years, he or she would be cancelled. Tara had reached the maximum time allowed, even though she had only been trained in the State for less than a year. She had to join the fight.
But if Willow was honest, Tara had been ready since the first month she arrived under 'Willow's wing'. It was just that Willow herself didn't want Tara to start that early... no. If she could, she would rather Tara to be trained forever, that she would never need to join any operations. Being an operative changed people - especially after your first kill, which seemed that all operatives were destined to kill at least one people. Willow herself was a good example, and she didn't want Tara to go through the shit she had gone through. Being an operative meant to give up yourself - might be not your whole self but part of you would always lost, and she didn't want her Tara to end up like her.
Wait. Her Tara? Where did that come from? Willow frowned. She didn't want to know what that statement meant, and she couldn't let herself to do that either. She had to keep her head straight. The operation would start couple hours later and the last thing she needed was confusion.
Willow stepped into the room, and watched Tara training with a karate instructor quietly. She loved watching her train. She could always saw the strength and determination in her eyes. Tara herself might be shy and low self-esteem, but Willow was sure that she could pull it through, she would become one of the toughest and best operative Section One could ever have. In some ways, Tara was like Nikita - that they never stopped once they had set on the target they believed was right.
Tara gazed at Willow's direction when she caught the sight of the redhead. The instructor took the chance and attacked Tara. Before she knew, the instructor had already pinned her down on the dojo.
"Concentrate!" The instructor shouted.
"Sorry." The instructor stood up, and Tara followed.
"We'll stop here." The instructor said after nodding at Willow. Willow held out her figure and instructed Tara to follow her.
Tara followed Willow quietly out of the training room towards her trainer's office. Tara had already got used to the way Willow 'communicate' with her. She didn't need to ask or do anything, but to just follow Willow, since Willow wouldn't answer her anyway.
They entered Willow's office, where Willow gestured her to sit.
"So," Willow sat in front of her. "Your process is good."
Tara waited.
"You'll have your first operation today at 1900. Meeting of all operatives in an hour."
Tara blinked. Did she say she would have her first operation today?
"We'll brief once all operatives have arrived."
Tara looked at Willow, knowing that she wasn't finish yet.
"I wanted to talk to you first." Willow turned on the computer screen beside her and turned her attention towards it, but continue speaking. "We go for kill in this operation. If you can't arrest the targets, cancel them." Willow paused, her eyes still fixed on the screen. "I just want you to prepare for that."
Tara eyes widened. Cancel?
"Questions?"
"Cancel?"
"Kill." Willow frowned inward at the word. The first thing she had learnt in the Section was using the word 'cancel' instead of 'kill', even thought they were the same at the end. "And we don't tolerate failure. This is your first assignment. Fail, you'll be cancelled." Paused. "You can leave now." She said, and started typing on the keyboard.
Tara stared at the cold redhead, still too shock to say anything. After sometime, she finally calmed a bit. She pressed her slightly shaking hands on the desk and stood up slowly. She turned towards the door, and opened it. Before she closed the door, Willow called out. "Tara?"
Tara turned towards Willow. This time, Willow stared right into her eyes. "Don't fail."
Tara opened her mouth, but closed it before she could get any sound out. She nodded, closed the door quietly.
Willow's hands dropped from the keyboard to her side once the door was closed. She sighed, her head banging softly on the desk.
===During the whole briefing, Nikita was stand behind Tara, her present giving Tara a silent comfort. She had gone talking to Nikita shortly after she had received the news from her trainer. Nikita didn't feel surprise about her being in a mission, saying that a trainee would be cancelled or sent to the suicide squad, where the operatives would handle all the suicide mission, which in Nikita's option, they were as good as died.
"Ben and Tara in team one..." If Tara turned and looked at Nikita, she would see the shock and anger flashed through her eyes. Willow saw it, recognized it, but continued the briefing. "Nikita, Faith and Alex in team two. Ru, Ken and Steve team three. Questions?" Willow looked around. "Take position at 1910, mission started at 1914. Remember, bring them in alive. If can't, shot at sight. Dismiss." She turned around and fixed on the screen behind her, wanting to make sure nothing would go wrong in the mission.
Nikita squeezed Tara's shoulder when the other operatives walked out of the room. "Wait here." She said, and walked towards Willow.
"Willow." Willow didn't turned, knowing as well who was behind her. "We need to talk."
"Not now Nikita." Willow said quietly, her eyes fixed on the screen once again.
Nikita put her hand on Willow's shoulder. "I think now is a good time." Willow sighed. She typed some keys on the keyboard and turned towards Nikita. She could saw Tara waiting at the corner of the room, but she focused on operative in front of her. "Why would you put Tara in team one?"
"Why not?"
"Team one is going to take up most of the forces. We both know what that means."
"I don't." Willow said coldly. She turned to Tara. "Why don't you wait outside?" Nikita was about to protest, but stopped when she saw the look on Willow's face. Tara nodded and slipped out of the room quietly. Willow turned her attention back to Nikita once the door closed. "She would do fine."
"This is her first mission Will. Don't do that to her." Nikita paused for a moment. "I will exchange my position with her."
"No. I am not going to risk you."
"But you are going to risk her?" Nikita demanded. "Do you really hate her that much?"
"What? She... I don't... It's not about hate." Willow whispered, sadness flashed through her eyes for a second before they turned hard again. "I put Ben in team one too."
"Ben is in the suicide squad. It's different. Is she going to be in that squad too?"
"No." Willow whispered. [I hope not.]
"I don't understand."
"You don't need to." Willow paused. "And she'll be fine. Really."
"How would you know? You won't eve-"
"Because I'm going in with her." Willow stared into Nikita's eyes. "And I'm not going to let her fail."
Nikita opened her mouth, speechless.
===Tara swallowed hard, her eyes scanned around the area nervously. She was hiding behind a truck with Ben, the other operative in the team. Team one's hiding position was closest to the target warehouse, and easiest to be spotted. Not only that, according to the plan, team one was going to rushed in through the main entrance, which very likely would be greeted by targets' main firepower. The other teams would slip in through the side doors while team one taken most of the attention from the targets.
Tara knew the reason why Nikita was so upset when she heard about Tara being assigned to team one. According to the source, Alec Chandler had at least seven people protecting him, and obviously team one was out-numbered. To be honest, she was touched by Nikita's concern. Tara didn't have many friends even when she was still in school. Other students always felt that Tara was too strange and too shy for her own good. The only time she would get attentions from others were when they were picking on her, or they wanted Tara to do homework for them. Nikita, Walter and Birkoff wanted to be her friend, not someone to pick up on or to use. No. They offered real friendship to her, and Tara was grateful for that - probably the only thing she would be grateful for being chosen to join Section One.
"Don't worry." Ben whispered, bringing Tara out of her thoughts. "We'll be fine."
Tara nodded, even though she knew it's not true. How could they be fine? They were going to charge in with probably seven guns pointing at them. Tara looked down at the watch. 1912. Two minute left. [God. Two more minutes and we're going to die.] Suddenly Tara felt a present behind her back, she spun around and pointed her gun at it. She sighed of relief when she saw it was Willow.
"Four in the front." She whispered, kneeing behind Ben and Tara. "One right. Two left. Target and another two at the back."
Tara nodded, and turned her attention back to the building. Ben looked down at his watch. "One minute." He whispered.
"You two stay here, wait for my cue." Willow whispered. She drew out her guns, and slowly moved towards the front entrance with one in each hand.
Tara eyes widened. The original plan was Tara and Ben moved in at exact 1914, opened the gate and started firing, drawing all the attentions to them. There was nothing about waiting for Willow's cue, and certainly nothing about Willow walking right into the warehouse. She turned and looked at Ben, and saw Ben was having the same confused expression on his face. Tara turned towards Willow again, and saw her already at the gate. She stood up a bit, wanting to join Willow, but Ben stopped her. "No." He whispered. "Follow your orders."
Willow put her guns down, and took out a small device from her pocket. It was a black box with two thin steel sheets stretched from it. She carefully slipped the sheets in between the two gates and looked down at the watch. Thirty seconds. She pressed the red button on the device, picked up her guns, and waited.
Tara was more nervous. Her hands were sweating. Her heart was bumping so loud that she couldn't hear Ben whispering to her. "Fifteen seconds."
"Five seconds." Ben whispered again. Tara swallowed hard, holding her gun tight. "Four. Three."
"Two. One." Willow whispered. The device exploded. The gates slid wide open by the explosion. From behind, Tara could see Willow fired blindly at people inside, her body hiding behind the metal gate, using it as a shed from the attackers' bullets.
"GO! GO!" Tara could hear the people inside shouted in between the shots. Willow gestured a signal to Ben. He peeked out from the truck and started firing.
Willow took the chance and slipped into the warehouse. All four targets were dead on the ground. Willow slid one of her guns back to her back, gestured team one to walk closer, and walked towards the back of the warehouse. Suddenly, something caught her eyes. "Shit." She cursed.
Tara and Ben entered the warehouse and stood behind Willow. They looked down, and saw a hole on the ground. Willow kneed beside the hole and peeked into it. "There's no tunnel in the simulation!" Willow shouted at the headset she was wearing.
"No." Birkoff voice came from the other side. "According to our database, there's no- wait."
"Wait what?" Tara could see Willow's eyes flashed with danger. "I'm going down."
"Willow! We-"
Willow jumped into the hole without waiting. Tara and Ben looked at each other before following her and jumped in also.
===Willow blinked and waited for her eyes to adjust. The tunnel was dark and quiet. The only light there was the weak light coming from the small light bulbs along the wall. Willow looked around, trying to figure out what direction the targets had gone. Her eyes stopped and focused on a shiny metal on the floor. It was an empty bullet clip. "Keep alert." She said walking towards the direction the grip had been. Ben helped Tara up from the ground as she landed on one of her knees when she jumped down, and the two of them held up their guns and followed quietly.
After a minute or so, the three had reached an intersection. Willow stopped. Usually she would split up the team to cover both entrances, but if she told Tara and Ben to go together, then she couldn't protect Tara. At the same time, she didn't want Ben to go down there by himself either. While she was torn between her ego to protect Tara and her responsibility of completing the mission, a man slowly walked towards them in the shadow.
Tara blinked when she suddenly saw a reflection of light from one of the entrances. She blinked, and saw a figure walking out of the shadow, a gun in his hand, pointing at her direction. Without thinking, Tara pointing her own gun at the man and fired. She watched as the man looked at her, his eyes widened, and fell on the ground.
Tara frozen at the spot. When she came to her sense again, Willow was already kneeing at the side of the man. "He's dead." She picked up the gun from the ground and turned towards Tara and Ben. "Let's go." She said, walking down the tunnel. At least she didn't need to worry about splitting up the group now.
"Tara." Ben looked at Tara who was still in shock. "We have to go, now."
"I..."
"Think later, okay?" Ben said quietly. He put his hand on Tara's shoulder, comforting her. Tara nodded, and two of them followed Willow down to the tunnel.
Turning towards another corner, the three were suddenly greeted by two gun shooters. Willow immediately stepped back, pulling Tara with her and used the corner as a shed, firing the shooters. After a minute, the shots died down again. Tara sighed and turned. "Ben, are you..." She looked down, and saw Ben was now lying on the floor, covered with his own blood. Tara immediately kneed down beside Ben. "Ben!" She shook him, checking his breathing and pulse. Nothing.
Willow stared at the body for a moment. "C'mon." She walked towards Tara pulled her up harshly, but Tara struggled herself free.
"No! We have to save him! We-"
"He's died." Willow said coldly. "We still got a mission-"
"I don't care about the mission!" Tara shouted. "You can't just leave him here! We may still be able to save him!"
"And I don't care if we may still be able to save him." Willow grounded her teeth. "HE. IS. DEAD. And we are going to complete the mission." She grabbed Tara's arm and started pulling her away from the body.
Tara pulled her arms out of Willow's grab, and without thinking, she snapped Willow, hard. "Is completing the mission that important to you? Important then other people's life?"
Willow didn't answer. She just stared at Tara wither her poker face and dead cold eyes. Then she turned around, ignored Tara and walked down the tunnel.
Tara kneed down beside the body and started a CPR, but blood continued to flow out from the already lifeless body. Tried as she might, she still couldn't bring him back. Silence tears slowly flew from her eyes. She looked up when she heard footsteps. "Nikita." She whispered.
Nikita walked down the tunnel, and saw Tara kneeing beside a body, her hands covered with blood. She kneed down, and checked the pulse. "He's gone. I'm sorry." She said quietly. "Where's Willow?"
Tara shook her head.
"C'mon." Nikita said, helping Tara up. She picked up the gun on the ground and handed it to Tara. "We have to go."
Nikita and Tara carefully walked down the tunnel. Their footsteps echoed through the tunnels. Suddenly gunshots filled the air again. The two of them ran towards the sound quickly.
From not far away, they could saw Willow standing there, holding a gun. Not far away, there was a man sitting in front of Willow, his back against the wall. Willow's face was cold and emotionless. She held up her gun, pointing it at the man's face, and pulled the trigger. Blood spilled on her face, but Willow didn't seem to aware. She just stared down at the body in front of her.
Nikita said nothing. She slowly walked towards Willow. Hearing footsteps behind her, Willow turned and held up her gun. Nikita stopped mid-track. Willow glazed at Nikita, and then Tara. She put down her arm, and walked away quietly.
===Tara sat on the curb, watching as the paramedics walking away carrying body after body. She jumped a bit when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned, and saw Nikita standing behind her. "Sorry." Nikita gave her a sheepish smile. "Are you okay?" She handed her a bottle of water.
Tara nodded and gratefully accepted the bottle. "T-t-thanks."
Nikita sat beside Tara, and nodded at her ankle. "Your leg?"
"Huh?" Tara looked down and saw the lower leg of her trousers slid open. She could see the wound on her knee through the open. [Must be when I jumped down the hole.] "It's just a scratch."
"So," Nikita looked at Willow and Michael who were standing not far away talking. "Your first mission."
"My first kill." Tara whispered, tears started to fall again.
Nikita turned and looked at Tara for a moment. "It'll pass."
"Will it?" Tara looked up at Nikita, whispered.
Nikita sighed. "C'mon. Let's get you back."
"I'll take her."
Nikita and Tara looked up, and saw Willow was now standing in from of them. Not bother to wait for a reply, Willow helped Tara up and led her to the car nearby. Nikita watched quietly as the two figures walked away.
===Tara looked at Willow for a second before turning back towards the window. She sighed. Her superior hadn't say a word since they got into the car. Actually she hadn't say a word to Tara since she had snapped her. She had finally calmed herself down a bit after the crazy half hour. She had completed her first assignment, but not without a cost. The cost of one of her co-workers life, and the cost of taking a life with her own hand.
Tears started roaming from her eyes again. Tara never meant to kill that guy. She just reacted when she saw the gun. She didn't think. She couldn't think. She tried to convince herself that it was self-defense, but it didn't change the fact that she had killed. True, she was told that was something that most operatives couldn't avoid, but she had never thought that it would happen to her. No. She was a good guy. She was one of the good guys. Taking someone's life wasn't something good, no matter what reason you have.
As if it wasn't bad enough, she watched Ben lying dead cold in front of her. Her superior, the one she had hopelessly falling in love with in the past year, walking away from her co-worker, never mind if he was dead or not, not even care to take a look at him, but only to focus on the 'mission' she was supposed to finish. Was the life of an operative that worthless? Would she do the same if it was Tara who was lying in front of her bathed in blood?
On top of that, she watched as the same woman pulled the trigger at a man's forehead. It was just like some kind of NC-17 movies where the cold-blooded murder murdered their targets. Might be that was why they always called 'cancel' instead of 'kill' in the Section, just like the way hit man called themselves 'cleaner' - a kind of replacement so that the murder would sound more cool and righteous.
But was it right? Would it ever be right? Tara frowned. If she didn't pull the trigger, would she die? Would the man walked away unharmed? Tara wondered, and worried, and scared. Not for the things that had happened, but for her future. Would she kill again? Would she-
"We're here." Tara looked out, turning towards Willow, and looked out at the window again. They were not at the base she had stayed in for almost a year. Instead, the car was now parking outside a small building in an alley in the middle of the city. Willow stepped out of the car and walked to Tara's side of the car, opening the car door for her.
Tara blinked at Willow. "W-where are-"
Willow said nothing, but just held out her hand. Tara accepted it, and the two of them slowly walked into the building.
===
Entering the top floor of the building, Willow opened the apartment door at the end of the hallway. She opened the door wide, turning on the light, and stepped aside to let Tara in.
Entering the apartment, Tara was immediately greeted by a huge Edgar Degas' painting 'Aux courses en province'. At the right side of the apartment there was an open kitchen and the dining area. Looking into the living room, all the furniture were hardwood, and a red stove was standing in front of a blood red leather couch in the middle of the room. The whole environment gave Tara a warm and comfort feeling that she couldn't even find in her own home before she joined Section One.
Willow quietly led Tara towards couch. Tara swallowed hard, trying to find something to say to break the silence. "Y-y-your h-house is nice." was her finally decision.
"It's yours, not mine."
"M-mine?" Tara looked at Willow confused.
Willow just put Tara on the couch, and walked towards the drawer nearby. She took out a first aid kit and walked back to Tara. "Took off your trousers."
"Huh?" Tara blinked.
"Took off your trousers so I can clean your wound." Willow said. She looked straight into Tara's eyes with determine in her eyes, showing Tara no room of negation.
Tara looked down and started blushing crazy. She unzipped her pants, and carefully pulled it down. Willow took a bottle of water from the kitchen and started cleaning the wound with water.
Tara stared on the floor for a long time before she was finally calm enough to look at Willow again. And when she looked at her, what she saw shocked her. Willow's expression was so soft. Was it really Willow or just some kind of her twisted imagination? Could this woman - the one who was kneeing in front of her cleaning her wound gently - be the same one who just ignored the death of her co-worker and killed someone in cold-blooded not more than an hour ago? Tara was scared. Even more than the time watching her father beating her mother, even more than the time when the Section 'recruit' her, even more than the crazy half hour she had just experienced - she was scared that this Willow wasn't real, that the real Willow was only capable of being a operative, a superior of Section One, but not to love, not to feel.
Tara eyes filled with tears. The horror and guilt in her heart had clouded her mind. Who was she to judge Willow anyway? She wasn't only in love with a woman who would kill people without a second thought, but she killed too, using a bullet to take a man's life. She had no will now, but only to follow orders from the Section. To the world out there, she was someone who had died, someone who no long exist in the world, yet she was like the shadow of death, existing inside the crowd, bring death to them.
She was a murder. A killer.
"You shouldn't think too much." Willow said softly, as if she could hear Tara's thoughts. "Being an operative is not an easy job. It never was, and it never will. Killing is only part of it. It isn't the major part, but it is a part no less. The only comfort you can get is that you know you could be saving hundreds or even thousands of lives out there - the lives of innocent." She took out the antiseptic cream and started applying it on the wound. "And every operatives who died during the mission - the only thing you could do for them is to continue their work, so their satisfy will be worth, so our lives are worth."
"Will... w-will it ever get easier? The death? The killing?"
"No." Willow put a band-aid on Tara's wound. Satisfy with the work, Willow started tidy up the things on the floor. "But at least you have found yourself a reason to go on. A reason that not only allow you exist, but to live." She stood up and walked towards the drawer, putting the first aid kit back. "You should rest. I'll take you to your room." She walked towards Tara and offered her hand. Tara took it and slightly leaned into Willow's arms. Willow half-carried Tara to the end of the corridor and opened the door.
It was a large bedroom with huge windows and a king size bed in the middle. The theme of the room matched the house. All the furniture was in red woods. There were couples of small plants near the window, matched with the soft yellow-white color of the walls. On the wall of the headboard, there was a huge painting of two horses, one white and one black, running freely in the middle of a huge green field. Tara eyes widened. It was her painting. She painted it for her mother when she was sixteen. Her father didn't like it much though - her father never like anything, so it ended up in the garage - yet it was now framed and hanged just above her head on her new bed in her new home. "I-i-it's..."
"It's yours, I know." Willow said quietly. "It is the only one I managed to find." She led Tara onto the bed and helped her laid there. She then walked towards the closet to get the blanket.
Tara was sobbing now. She couldn't believe Willow would do so much for her, and it only scared her more - scared that this Willow would be gone within a blink, that she would disappeared without a trace, and left a cold and emotionless Willow in front of her.
Willow turned and saw the panic expression on Tara's face. May be she had gone too extreme? She sighed. That didn't matter, as long as Tara was safe. She walked back to the bed, sat beside Tara, and covered her with the blanket. "Get some rest." Willow whispered leaned forward. "Your code name is Alcyone." Then, she kissed Tara's cheek. It was an action that shocked Willow herself - Tara was too panic to register what had happened - but she was doing it as a cover... right?
Tara took several breaths to calm herself before looking up deep into Willow's eyes. It wasn't as cold as she usually saw. It was more... human. Tara had lost herself in them, just like the way she always did when she looked into Willow's eyes. She didn't want to go. She didn't want to let go. She wanted to hold on it, forever and ever.
Willow cleared her throat. "I should go." But before she could stand, a hand held tight on the corner of her shirt. She looked down, and found that it was Tara's.
"P-p-please d-d-don't go." Tara pleaded silently.
Willow looked at her. Tara looked so vulnerable, so helpless, so confuse right now. As her trainer and superior, she should try anything that could help her, right?
Tara knew she shouldn't do that, pleading Willow to stay, but at this moment, she didn't care. She didn't want her to go. She wanted Willow to kiss her, to hold her, to tell her that everything would be fine, that she would take care of her, be with her forever. Willow face hadn't change, but Tara could see the understanding and concern in her eyes. She felt like in heaven when Willow put her legs on the bed and leaned back against the headboard, sitting next to Tara.
Tara smiled. Willow had stayed. Willow had stayed for her. She wanted to move closer to Willow, but what if Willow didn't want to? What if Willow freaked? What if she found disgust in Willow's eyes? But before Tara could think further, Willow started stroking Tara's hair. "Sleep." She whispered. Tara sighed at the sensation of Willow's hand in her hair. Unconsciously, Tara moved closer and closer to Willow, and ended up putting her arm around Willow's waist, hugging her tight.
Tara eyes finally closed. Only then Willow noticed Tara's arms around her waist. She had planned to leave right after Tara had fallen asleep, but it looked like she wouldn't be able to go anywhere anytime soon. She didn't want to wake Tara. In fact, looking at the sleeping figure, she wished the time would stop and she could watch her forever. But she still got works to do. She should be in base right now doing the paper work and reported to Operations, but instead she was in bed with her co-worker. What would Operations say if he knew? Willow shook her head. It didn't matter, at least not now. The important thing was Tara. Watching your co-worker died, watching your superior killed people in cold-blooded and killed one yourself wasn't that high-five of fun. She turned off the light on the nightstand, and closed her tired eyes.
==="Mushrooms are coming..."
Tara opened her eyes. "Mushrooms?" She blinked. Memories of pervious night flashed through her mind. Guns. Death. Willow. Tara looked down, and saw a shade of red in front of her eyes. She blinked again. It was Willow's hair, she realized. She remembered asking Willow to stay. Willow sat beside her. She moved closer to Willow and... when did they end up in this position? Willow's head was on Tara's shoulder. Her arms tightened around Tara's waist while Tara's around her shoulder. One of Willow's legs was hooked on to hers, efficiently locking her in bed. Tara was like a big cuddle pillow for Willow.
"Don't let those frogs get in! Oh God! They're licking the pigs!"
Tara looked at Willow's rumbling face and giggled.
"Yeah get out. No ice-cream for you." Her giggle was cut short when she saw the smile on Willow's face. Her heart skipped a beat. Willow's smile was so cute, so loveable, so...
Willow opened her eyes, and found herself hugging something soft, something warm, something smelled peaches and honey. She blinked. Once. Twice. "Omigod!" Willow jumped out of the bed and blushed. Then she shook her head and cleared her throat. "Um... I mean... hi." Willow took a deep breath and calmed herself before her expression turned cold again, as if there was a switch inside her that she could just turn on and off the expression on her face. She looked at the clock on the nightstand. "I should go." She quickly picked up her shoes and put them on.
Tara looked disappointed. "Oh."
Willow looked at Tara. "From now on, this is your apartment. That box," she pointed at a gray box on the nightstand. "Contains your credit card, driving license, passport, money and all the documentations you need. Do not tell anyone who you are or what you do. Tell them you're between jobs trying to figure something out if they asked."
Tara stared at Willow for a moment. "What am I going to do now?"
"You wait."
"Wait?" Tara looked at Willow confused. "How long?"
"Un-detrainment." Willow started walking towards the doorframe.
Tara jumped up and quickly followed Willow. When Willow opened the front door, Tara whispered. "Will you come back later?"
Willow stopped for a moment before she answered. "Good day Tara." Then she closed the door.
Tara stumbled onto the floor, sobbing silently.
===Willow leaned against the door. She could hear Tara sobbing behind it. When Tara asked if she would come back, how much Willow wanted to say she would, how much she wanted nothing but to stay with Tara forever. Willow couldn't remember the last time she felt so warm, so safe. It was like being with Tara was the most natural thing in the world. But she wouldn't. She couldn't. She wasn't supposed to care for Tara - true, she cared for all her co-workers, but Willow knew that she cared Tara in a more... unprofessional way. Yesterday night was more than enough proof. She didn't know how Tara really felt for her - might be it was just some kind of crush, fluke, or even a pure respect for her superior. In some way, Willow hoped so. If things went on, it would only end up getting them killed, or at least getting Tara killed. Willow didn't care if she died or not, that she had already accepted the risk of dying before she reached thirty, but she couldn't bear herself of the thought that Tara getting hurt, let alone killed. Anyway, who would really love a cold-blooded killing machine like herself?
Willow took a deep breath. She rather to hurt Tara now then getting her killed later. Whatever feelings she had for Tara, they would end now. She wiped away the silent tears on her face, and walked towards the evaluator.
TBC?