A/N: Prequel Denied Emotions. Srry it took so long...someone was holding onto my story at the time...well here's the next chapter... - Enjoy
Denied Emotions
Chapter 4
Flawless Punishment
He could hear her sitting up on her bed, she was getting ready to hear his decision. He waited for her while fondling with the phone and kicking back in his chair, making himself comfortable as well.
"Okay Trunks, I'm all ears now." She was sitting crossed legged on her bed, attentive to what he was about to say while wondering what was his choice. Well whatever he decides to settle down with she will respect him either way. If he wants to walkout of his problems he'll be walking out of life. This won't solve anything but will only enrapture him in desolation.
However… it wouldn't matter to him, because by then his concerns for people and things…..will eventually fade away… His heart then will bare nothing but emptiness…. To care…..is to feel….. and once you rid yourself of that…... then there's nothing
left….. Just filled with emptiness…. The only advantage to this is when life goes down hard on you….the emotions that connect you to your problems will be gone….you won't feel the hardship….the misery…..the stress….you won't feel anything… Only mere memories will remind you of what it use to be like….He might want this….to be carefree…….
But…..there is a flaw…in the advantage…. At some point…..you realize that the choice you made was a mistake… you will want to care again…..to have everything back the way it was…..and sadly…it can't be undone….there… are things in life that can be fixed…..and there…are things in life that can't be fixed….this is how life is balanced….one person's happiness…..is built on another person's
unhappiness….that's just how it is……when you come to find that what you chose cannot be changed….whether you want to accept it or not its up to you….one can live in lies and ignorant bliss…..and one can live knowing the cold truth….it depends on how the person want to live their life after the mistake….the trade with the devil…..its even possible to be in-between….
You long for the things you once had……to be able to care for the people you once did and for the things as well…… but you won't be able to….no matter what you try….. your tears will be vain… not even knowing why you cry….questioning yourself further until…..
you just don't know anymore….about anything….or yourself……past memories haunt you…you want to live in regret….feel the regret…desperate just for anything….you will long…but you wont be able to even feel it…soon…you won't even care about wanting to have your life back…..
you ask yourself why can't you care enough….you try to care…forcing yourself into it…then realize that….it won't be real…once in awhile you hold onto false hope….then at night….everything turns over…you tell yourself…that its not real…..it won't ever be…..the damage has been done….
….you then…dawdle…through your life….knowing that you're cheating out on people…deceiving people….everything you done just for the sake that they won't suspect anything….will all be a lie….a mask over a mask….lies over lies…people won't be able to understand you….reaching out for help will be
worthless…because you are at lost for yourself at times…you can't even explain the why's and whatnot's….so you just leave it at that….just go through life….its worse than death to you…a punishment…the perfect… punishment because it's so flawless….there is no escape….not even death will do the good deed for you…to do you in….because….you can't even care enough…to kill yourself….you can't care enough to ask someone
to kill yourself…there is nothing left to do but go through life….everyday you see people….who are able to care…it looks painful through your eyes to see this….yet you can't feel it….striving for more….you end up with nothing….you start thinking more about everything…and become wiser…..you can see the Libra that holds life and death…the balance….you are able to the big picture…and notice there is more to it..…to be able to relate to the situations but have no emotions towards it……
So why did she encourage him to go through all this……why did she brought it up in the first place….and why did she warn him about it as well………..she knows this….she doesn't have to ask herself……..it's all because …..
His voice loomed in and brought her back into reality, slamming her heavily onto its pavements.
"Pan, I've decided not to make the trade with the devil." His voice was firm, and unmoving. He was sure now, and will stick to this choice.
"I see, so….Trunks……why did you decide not to?…..were you not unwavered by it's temptings?…..This trade holds the key to being carefree….an escape from all your problems……do you not want this…?" She wanted to test him, to see if he was really sure. Even though this trade does hold the escape for all of one's problems…..it was only temporary.
"Yes I'm really sure….but to tell you the truth for awhile I was really enticed by the thought of being carefree….but instead I chose this because…I rather deal with my problems than run away from them……I want to care Pan….about the people I love already, my problems…..everything….. Trying to forget or running away from them won't solve anything…..it just causes more….. I'm a man now…..I should face them not ignore them."
"Oh…..really…..just because you're a man now?….are you doing this for the sake of the title of being a man……or are you doing this because you care now and you still want to care…?" Her eyebrows were raised challenging him.
"It's not for the title…….I still want to care…" He said securely.
A smile slowly caressed her face, she was glad knowing that he made this choice. His whole life ahead of him will be spared from emptiness….. If he had decided to take up the offer then her plan would be in ruins….. But so far everything is falling in place……it won't be long……
She was very exhausted, staying up talking to him doesn't make her feel any better. They'll just have to talk later……its about time she gets some shut eye…..
"Trunks?….can we maybe talk some more about this tomorrow?…I would stay up with you longer if I weren't so tired…but hey…I promise to drop by the dome tomorrow…..and we can go out for lunch or whatever…..okay?" Her eyelids were starting to droop down, she couldn't keep them up much longer and her head was getting a lot heavier to hold up.
"Alright…..Pan" He was slightly disappointed but he knew that she needed her sleep.
"Awww…….don't be upset T.B…" Her lip rolled out instantly putting on a puppy face.
"I'm not upset Pan…….." He said reassuringly as if he could see her putting up a face.
A smile graced her face as she spoke directly from her mind.
"I'm glad though….that you didn't make that choice……because I still want you to care……..and I don't want to you lose you T.B………you're my teddy bear………"
A/N: Hope you like it…….Pls checkout Lace and Lingerie R&R