Alicia felt rather than heard someone enter her room, a furtive shadow
creeping amidst the darkness. Groggily she tried to think of what time it
was, probably dawn by the looks of the tiny fragments of light that crept
in through the walls. For some reason she didn't doubt it was Blank, doing
something absurd and reckless again. She only had to avoid him for a few
more hours before the airship took off and left Alexandria for good. Alicia
had already sworn deeply to herself that she would never set a foot in the
town ever again - never subject herself to such shameless abuse.
But she couldn't help it if Blank was so persistent he crept in through the docks, slipped past the guards and into the ship with every whim he had. The morning before had almost been disastrous, Blank had made off with every shard of pride and dignity she owned. Alicia couldn't even imagine what sort of scandal he had planned for the day. A horrid urge rose inside her to jump to her feet and scream "GO AWAY!" But she knew this would only cause embarrassment for her person. Blank would probably just laugh it off, smile in his odd manner, and make up some awful sickly sweet compliment about his dreams and their future together. It was horribly kind abuse.
But she didn't scream or jump or do anything drastic, she just rolled over onto her side, gathering the covers around her, and spoke as coldly as she could muster, "Yes?"
"Teacher?" The light voice was thickened with sleep, and Alicia almost blushed to realize that she had come close to assaulting Eiko. Quickly her thoughts turned from anger to concern,
"What is it, Eiko? Are you alright?"
"Yes..." The cute voice was pensive as Eiko's bed-garbed form came into Alicia's limited vision, her head hanging in shame, "But I couldn't sleep...do you think I could sleep with you, teacher?"
Questions instantly rose into Alicia's mind. Why didn't she go to her parents' room, why couldn't she sleep, why...but Alicia instantly brushed these aside - already knowing the answers. With a mixed feeling of sadness and content, Alicia pulled the covers aside and patted the mattress by her side, "Here...come on."
Eiko obliged swiftly, bouncing into the bed and snuggling up against Alicia affectionately, her arms curled tightly around her. Alicia dropped back down into a state of restfulness for a few quiet moments, before she heard Eiko murmur, "Teacher...you look sad - what's the matter?"
Alicia blinked and shook her head, "I'm not sad..."
"You looked sad yesterday too. We didn't even go out and look around, you just moped around and we didn't study and..."
"Alright-Eiko..." Alicia cut the girl off harshly, suddenly realizing Eiko's motive for changing rooms. She was more mature than she let on - the girl had found the art of being subtle. Alicia noticed that Eiko had drawn back, and quickly she put her arms around the girl, stroking her purple hair, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I've just been having a lot of problems lately. Problems dealing with my problems, it's too complicated for you to understand."
"It's about Blank right?" Eiko left Alicia with her mouth hanging open. The girl smiled smugly, knowing that she was right, "He's so sweet, Teacher...you should give him a chance."
"Only chance he gets is to leave before I kill him." Alicia grumbled, remembering what she had been thinking before she discovered the shadow was Eiko. "We're just...incompatible, Eiko - you wouldn't understand, trust me."
"Stop saying that." Eiko interjected, prodding Alicia's shoulder with a finger, "I think that you're just not allowing yourself to be compatible with someone you consider beneath you."
"Eiko..." Alicia poked her back, her voice thick with warning, but Eiko glibly avoided the retaliation, changing the subject quickly and effectively.
"Alicia, why does daddy always get embarrassed when you're around mommy?" There wasn't a single question that Alicia could have been less prepared for.
"I...don't know." She felt the sorrow trickle back into her system, and she brushed at Eiko's hair again thoughtfully, "Your father is just a very busy man - sometimes he finds it hard to deal with...relationships and things like that."
"That's not a very good excuse." Eiko grumbled, and Alicia couldn't help but chuckle. She had been with the girl for two years and still the princess managed to surprise her.
"Go to sleep, little girl. We'll have lots of lessons in the morning, I promise."
"Really?" The voice brimmed with hope, and Alicia realized something else new. Deep inside, the little girl really did enjoy the learning - she really did want to know how to grow up. Such a thought filled Alicia with hope.
"Really."
--
Why are you here...
Arteon stared wistfully off at the sunrise, his eyes tracing the patches of clouds, as if his self-proclaimed sovereignty could change their shape. "I don't know..." He murmured, mind lost in thoughts of what was and what was better, lost in what would never be again.
If you are such a weak-minded fool than how can you be ruling over me?
"I don't know..." The answer was almost instinctive, Arteon realized with a twinge of a smile, questions that were too difficult to answer were best left ignored...the rule of Arteon the pacifist. He could almost hear Kuja snarling deep within him at how worthless he had become. "I can only assume, I can only think from a head that's confused and misguided."
Hah...you think it's because you love her, is that it? What a humiliating reason to live, there to love someone who doesn't love you back.
"Not as humiliating as you might think I suppose...because as you noted, I still have power over you." Arteon's fingers traced the rigid line of the stone archway that forced a crudely shaped window into the side of the inn. He stared at the sun, stared thoughtfully and imagined Mera standing there, the brilliant golden light flooding over her face and her hair. It would be so easy to run to the castle and coax her once more, but he couldn't...he had all but promised that he wouldn't. "She loves me...somewhere, I've seen it before and I know that she does love me."
She doesn't love you, fool. She doesn't love anyone - she simply enjoys you, enjoys protracting her pleasuring lust from you, that's all you are to her after all... A toy.
"Shut up! What would you know!" Arteon slammed the wall in frustration, his wispy auburn hair flocking over his forehead.
What would you know? You don't even know why you are here, or why I'm in your head, how could you solve a problem as difficult as love?
"I know why I'm here -" Arteon growled, tempering his anger as he seethed into a forced lapse, his eyes staring blankly at the cobblestone street far below him, at all the people wandering and all of the noise and smells that he did not notice or care for. He knew enough, he knew that somehow he was Kuja's better half, some twisted fate that doomed the man to a fruitless existence. All Arteon knew was that he was reason that either of the two was alive, his forceful will to live for love, and he also knew that he was the only obstacle that held Kuja back from his destructive path, his inevitable fate. "I'm here to stop you; fate has provided this world with a savior."
Hah, some savior - you won't even come out of hiding, tell the people you know that you're back to save the world. Why not, Arteon? Are you scared, maybe? Scared that they won't accept you, scared that...nobody loves you? That's all you are, after all, a confused lover. You couldn't survive if there was nothing to fuel your...fire, you would die and I would take over again.
Arteon gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the voice in his head, wishing with all his might that it would go away, that somehow he could run away to some part of the world where no one knew that the person that lived in his body beforehand was the merciless killer of thousands of innocents. But that was impossible...there was no getting around who he was, he just had to face it.
By the way, Art, I never got to ask. Was it a lot of fun that night in the theatre? You two seemed to have a blast after you seduced her. Ah, but whatever will my brother think when he finds out?
"Just go away..." Arteon muttered for what felt like the thousandth time, his eyes boring into the ancient stone beneath him, willing them to melt away and take him to hell where he belonged. It was never very convenient to have someone hanging around who knew everything about him. "It was an accident...I hadn't seen her in so long..."
Yes, and quite a fine piece she is nowadays, a real melt-in-your- mouth beauty, eh?
Would smashing his head open kill him or the voice inside first? "What do you care, you rejected her, that's why I'm here."
Yes...quite. So what do you plan to do now, lover boy? Are you going to apologize to her, or to Zidane, or to no one? I'm really dying to see what a savior of this world would do.
"I'm going to..." Arteon faltered, drawing himself up from the windowsill, "I'm going to..." He didn't know, he honestly didn't know, and that hurt him...hurt him almost as much as the look in Mera's eyes..."I will..." He closed his eyes with a sigh.
--
"Tonight..." The word moved through Zidane's dark mind like a lantern, trying to find some outlet. Foggily he wondered if he had actually heard the word spoken aloud, or if it was some sort of dream or memory. 'A lot of weird stuff happening to me lately, I wouldn't doubt it's just my imagination...' He thought, rolling around in the darkness.
The darkness changed to blinding light, and he forced his eyes to shut. A shadow moved across his vision, the sound of wind brushing stone flew in and then swept the sheets around him as he slowly woke to find that it was all actually happening. For a brief moment he lost the exact where and when and how of everything, lost in the darkness of sleep, and then one comforting thought came back to him. She loves me.
With it flooded in a whole cascade of memories and feelings from the night before, every detail and movement sketched deeply in his mind, he would never forget, and he would never doubt her again. There was no reason to doubt or to ever cry again, because life was so beautiful!
He opened his eyes and took a quick look around the room that he had lived in for the best three years of his life. Nothing had changed, there were still the strong stone walls and the excessive finery, the huge window that stood near the center of the room stood open, the probably cause of the wind, and Garnet was standing near it, a wispy nightgown flapping vigorously around her. As he stared at her, she turned to grab his glance and hold it in those huge luminous eyes, and then she smiled happily. Sincerely and beautifully happy. "Good morning."
"Good morning, dear." He yawned and shook his limbs to return the life to them, the action also bringing back who he was and who he was supposed to be. "I was just busy having the best dream about you."
"Really?" She grinned over at him before moving to her vast wardrobe, languidly flipping through dresses to wear for the day.
"Yes, maybe we can reenact it sometime soon, you are liable to do the most devious things in my dreams you know."
Garnet blushed modestly and moved back toward him, lifting her nightdress over her head fluently as she prepared to dress, "Oh stop, you know it's all probably happened before...now you'd better get dressed and ready, you'll be required to make an appearance at the courts today, and I'd like to have breakfast before we leave. Are you hungry?"
"Starving." Zidane jumped out of bed and rushed to her side before she could continue dressing, giving her a swift kiss on the lips, "Why, this looks absolutely delicious," He grabbed one of her plentiful breasts and tenderly curled his fingers around it, stooping to give it a quick lick, "Mmm, did you make this yourself? Why I believe I'll have two!"
"Zidane!" Garnet wailed as best as she could through her giggles, "Look the window is open someone could see us!"
"Could they?" Zidane laughed, his overwhelming affection leaving him quite a bit giddy in the head. Gently he hoisted Garnet up into his arms and carried her over to the window, following through with a heavy kiss that took his breath away. When he was quite finished he followed up breathlessly, "Let them see that I have the best woman alive."
"Zidane..." Garnet sighed and stared up at him. And then he let her slowly down to the ground, his hands lingering on her delicate shoulders for a long moment, as if his strength alone was all that was holding her together.
But the awkward moment passed and they both smiled again, Garnet raising on her tiptoes to kiss Zidane tenderly on the forehead before continuing to clothe herself. The wind carried a warm draft of morning air to float around them as Garnet spoke conversationally, "By the way, why I wanted you to come to the palace today was because there might actually be something for you and Steiner to do tonight."
"Oh?" Zidane spoke with believable disinterest.
"Yes, there is some religious rally scheduled tonight in the Third Market sector, some radical cult so some of the counselors are afraid that it could get violent...which means you might have to go patrol."
Zidane's expression brightened as he dug through his oversized wardrobe for some decent pants and a shirt. A religious event would be entertaining, even if he had basically given up his search for the god...the voice in his head told him about. Zidane almost laughed - now the whole thing sounded ridiculous. "Alright I'll go - might me a little more exciting than being by myself."
Garnet caught the whining tone and turned to look at him, licking her lips, "Don't worry then, I'm sure I can think of something entertaining for us to do tonight..."
That was more than enough inspiration for Zidane to dress and rush out the door, with a few more passionate exchanges with his wife of course. Yes, church patrol sounded a lot like heaven.
--
Steiner had often heard from idle chat that the lingering minutes left after sex, when the deed is done and silence falls, would always tell him what he truly felt for that other person. For some there was a hollow, painful ache, as if they had just thrown away everything they had for nothing and only recently realized it. For others there is the bittersweet pain of love, the urge to pull the woman to him and never let her go, knowing that such a thing isn't possible.
Steiner just felt the way he always felt. Confused. And since that was what he was used to, it didn't seem to matter that much - he simply rolled over and fitfully found his way to the land of dreams. But the land of dreams was far from comforting - in it swam the armies of questions and doubts that he fought daily. His orders, his duties, his love and freedom, all raging around in his mind, twisting and coiling around into a hissing brew of nightmare. Some of them called on him; compelled him to do something. Brahne and Andrew, Garnet, Beatrix, Zidane.they all swirled around and around and around until they finally merged into one shadowy form, one blurry face. Suddenly Steiner felt warm, his skin tingled as he stared into eyes that seemed distant yet felt very familiar. A hand reached out to him, welcoming him.no commanding him, ordering him to do something! Something he didn't want to do! He wouldn't do it! He wouldn't!
"Stupid boy!"
The dark face vanished and was replaced by a swelling light that tickled his eyelids. Hastily he raised a bare arm to shield himself from the light, reaching down to pull his woolen covers up over him.
"Come on you big baby, get up already!" Steiner peeked up through a squinting eyelid at the beautiful feminine figure standing over him, and all the sudden an overwhelming sense of gratitude swept over him. There stood Beatrix, all ready for her day in her white satin tunic and crimson cloak, her heavy defender sword swinging freely at her side from a leather scabbard. Her dark hair spilled all around her, doused in some perfume that tickled Steiner's senses, making him long for the night again. The night? Steiner's mind was suddenly tumbling around once again, different emotions agreeing never to make sense. What would happen when the night came - would the same ritual repeat over and over again - would there be progression, could he take the strain of never being sure? Did he love her?
Yes. "Thank you." Steiner took her hand and pulled himself from the bed, repeating his answer firmly in his head. Yes he did love her! And then he remembered that he was completely naked, and with a yelp he pulled the sheets up around him, earning a hearty laugh from Beatrix.
"Thank me for what? And what are you so scared about, you big idiot, tired of impressing me with those muscles, eh?" Beatrix ran her hand across his arm with another laugh, then turned toward the door, "Come on, you have to get dressed, the council is meeting early today to reach a decision on these religion zealots and their revival tonight. If everything goes well, the army might actually get some action!"
Steiner sighed and reached for his clothing - the idea of fighting didn't excite him, especially if it meant restraining and possibly injuring unarmed civilians. But if he was ordered to...his thought processes paused for a long time as he worked that one out - if he was ordered to...then he would. Of course.
--
Blank walked the rough cobblestones pensively toward the airship docks, arguing with his mind the whole way. In some part of him he felt that this was the last time he might ever see a very attractive woman that he seemed to have some sort of special connection with. Another half of him accepted the fact that she didn't like him at all and it would probably be good for him to just leave her behind and start up his life again. His life, the gambler and the drinker and the loner all mixed up into a big ball of sadness.
He didn't want to go back to that, but somehow he knew that would be good for him and good for everyone else. Kazal was far enough away so that he would never bother anyone...that was depressing. Blank sighed and searched his pocket for a coin he could play with, trying to guide his thoughts to happier plains. Of course going back to Kazal wasn't all bad - there were probably...new beers that he'd never tasted before...and he could become rich and live in a mansion all by himself with servants and admirers...
Perhaps it was his imagination but for some reason he imagined that she would be upset with him for giving up so easily. After all, he just walked in on her naked; surely they were still on good terms... "Nope, doesn't matter." Blank grumbled and hoisted his coin high at the glaring sun, "I'm leaving!"
The coin exploded into an array of colorful fireworks, earning a yelp from Blank as he jumped back a pace, looking around for his attacker. And there was Vivi; standing in a dark doorway with...what Blank could only imagine was a smug smile on his face. "What's your damn problem, kid?" Blank berated the black mage as he regained his composure, "I was thinking!"
Vivi shrugged innocently, "I thought maybe it would cheer you up!"
"Yeah, yeah...sneaky little bastard." Blank muttered, ambling up to the diminutive mage, looking dangerously childish in his oversized blue robes and floppy brown hat. Looks could be very deceptive, seeing as the kid was probably the greatest mage Blank had ever known. But then again, Vivi was half-harmless; he was much too nice to ever take advantage of his full potential. "So kid, where'd you hide your family? I thought they'd be out here with you, stumbling around and standing out as much as possible, you know?"
Vivi sniffed, he had long since been ignoring people who teased him about his clumsy behavior, "I took them home. I'm gonna go back to Dali as soon as I go tell Zidane and Garnet goodbye." The 'kid' had always had a strong attachment to Zidane, and Blank couldn't blame him. Zidane had that strange way of making everyone feel attracted to him, even if they had nothing in common. Maybe that was why Baku had taken in the little punk, instead of making him fend for himself. Blank of course, always had to earn what he got...not that he resented it, it made a man much stronger to work for his life, work for his women...
"Well when you see them tell them that I'm leaving too - I've got a ship to catch, cards to deal, you know how it is...busy life."
"Yeah." Vivi nodded eagerly, "The harvest is waiting back at home. I need to get the kumai before it gets too ripe."
Hmph, damn kid trying to impress him with his farming crap. "Good luck then, I'm outta here."
"Where are you off to?" A strong, melodic voice sounded from behind him, a voice that could only belong to Zidane. Blank turned with a deep sigh and a fake grin to look at the lucky husband of a queen, standing loosely in a swath of regal garb.
"Oh, hey bro. I was just telling the kid how I've got work to do at home. I've got to get going, the airship is leaving in just a few minutes." Truthfully it probably wasn't going anywhere, but he would rather walk back to Kazal then be surrounded by the over-compassionate bastards for another minute.
Zidane frowned deeply and glanced over at Vivi, who shrugged up at him with a smile. The genome kneaded his forehead for a moment before speaking, "Well...I don't know how to ask you this...but can you stick around for just one more day - do me a favor? You too, Vivi."
"Well I don't know," Blank shook his head slowly, "Vivi is a busy man with the harvest and all, he's got a family to tend to and windmills to guard, and all of that thrown together could take upwards of a lifetime...it's probably not a good time you know-"
"I can stay, Zidane. What do you need me for?" Vivi squinted his beady eyes as he stepped from the shadows into the bright autumn glare falling on the main street of Alexandria.
"Great!" Zidane took a few steps toward Vivi, motioning with his fingers for Blank to come closer as he whispered in a royally confidential tone, "There's a rally tonight, it's those Followers of the Deliverer, the religious radicals. The council met today and decided, from what our informants have told us, that the radicals could be possibly dangerous, so we're setting up some posts tonight, just in case."
"That sounds horribly interesting-"
"I wouldn't ask," Zidane rolled smoothly over Blank's millionth excuse, "but I really don't trust all of these new soldiers Beatrix has been training - they're all young and inexperienced, I'm not sure what they would do if something really happened. Steiner and Beatrix are going to help me, and maybe Marcus too, but it would be great if you guys could stick around too, just in case and all...it might even be fun."
"I heard that there's going to be a big tournament in Kazal tonight, and I really don't want to-"
"At the very least we could just sit around the fire and drink a while, talk about old times or something..." Zidane's eyes shone brightly as he looked from Blank to Vivi and back again, "I haven't had much time to talk to my friends lately and there's a lot to talk about."
Dammit! It was completely unfair how sickeningly charismatic Zidane was. Blank petulantly muttered something about being able to spare a couple more hours, even if it did mean losing thousands of Gil, and of course Vivi eagerly agreed to do anything for Zidane. Of course it was very possible that Blank genuinely would have fun - especially if beer was involved, but it was the variable of staying one more day that irked him. After all...everything could go wrong in just one day - but then again, what did he know?
Stay or leave
I want you not to go but you should
It was good as good goes,
Stay or leave
I want you not to go but you did...
Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews
But she couldn't help it if Blank was so persistent he crept in through the docks, slipped past the guards and into the ship with every whim he had. The morning before had almost been disastrous, Blank had made off with every shard of pride and dignity she owned. Alicia couldn't even imagine what sort of scandal he had planned for the day. A horrid urge rose inside her to jump to her feet and scream "GO AWAY!" But she knew this would only cause embarrassment for her person. Blank would probably just laugh it off, smile in his odd manner, and make up some awful sickly sweet compliment about his dreams and their future together. It was horribly kind abuse.
But she didn't scream or jump or do anything drastic, she just rolled over onto her side, gathering the covers around her, and spoke as coldly as she could muster, "Yes?"
"Teacher?" The light voice was thickened with sleep, and Alicia almost blushed to realize that she had come close to assaulting Eiko. Quickly her thoughts turned from anger to concern,
"What is it, Eiko? Are you alright?"
"Yes..." The cute voice was pensive as Eiko's bed-garbed form came into Alicia's limited vision, her head hanging in shame, "But I couldn't sleep...do you think I could sleep with you, teacher?"
Questions instantly rose into Alicia's mind. Why didn't she go to her parents' room, why couldn't she sleep, why...but Alicia instantly brushed these aside - already knowing the answers. With a mixed feeling of sadness and content, Alicia pulled the covers aside and patted the mattress by her side, "Here...come on."
Eiko obliged swiftly, bouncing into the bed and snuggling up against Alicia affectionately, her arms curled tightly around her. Alicia dropped back down into a state of restfulness for a few quiet moments, before she heard Eiko murmur, "Teacher...you look sad - what's the matter?"
Alicia blinked and shook her head, "I'm not sad..."
"You looked sad yesterday too. We didn't even go out and look around, you just moped around and we didn't study and..."
"Alright-Eiko..." Alicia cut the girl off harshly, suddenly realizing Eiko's motive for changing rooms. She was more mature than she let on - the girl had found the art of being subtle. Alicia noticed that Eiko had drawn back, and quickly she put her arms around the girl, stroking her purple hair, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I've just been having a lot of problems lately. Problems dealing with my problems, it's too complicated for you to understand."
"It's about Blank right?" Eiko left Alicia with her mouth hanging open. The girl smiled smugly, knowing that she was right, "He's so sweet, Teacher...you should give him a chance."
"Only chance he gets is to leave before I kill him." Alicia grumbled, remembering what she had been thinking before she discovered the shadow was Eiko. "We're just...incompatible, Eiko - you wouldn't understand, trust me."
"Stop saying that." Eiko interjected, prodding Alicia's shoulder with a finger, "I think that you're just not allowing yourself to be compatible with someone you consider beneath you."
"Eiko..." Alicia poked her back, her voice thick with warning, but Eiko glibly avoided the retaliation, changing the subject quickly and effectively.
"Alicia, why does daddy always get embarrassed when you're around mommy?" There wasn't a single question that Alicia could have been less prepared for.
"I...don't know." She felt the sorrow trickle back into her system, and she brushed at Eiko's hair again thoughtfully, "Your father is just a very busy man - sometimes he finds it hard to deal with...relationships and things like that."
"That's not a very good excuse." Eiko grumbled, and Alicia couldn't help but chuckle. She had been with the girl for two years and still the princess managed to surprise her.
"Go to sleep, little girl. We'll have lots of lessons in the morning, I promise."
"Really?" The voice brimmed with hope, and Alicia realized something else new. Deep inside, the little girl really did enjoy the learning - she really did want to know how to grow up. Such a thought filled Alicia with hope.
"Really."
--
Why are you here...
Arteon stared wistfully off at the sunrise, his eyes tracing the patches of clouds, as if his self-proclaimed sovereignty could change their shape. "I don't know..." He murmured, mind lost in thoughts of what was and what was better, lost in what would never be again.
If you are such a weak-minded fool than how can you be ruling over me?
"I don't know..." The answer was almost instinctive, Arteon realized with a twinge of a smile, questions that were too difficult to answer were best left ignored...the rule of Arteon the pacifist. He could almost hear Kuja snarling deep within him at how worthless he had become. "I can only assume, I can only think from a head that's confused and misguided."
Hah...you think it's because you love her, is that it? What a humiliating reason to live, there to love someone who doesn't love you back.
"Not as humiliating as you might think I suppose...because as you noted, I still have power over you." Arteon's fingers traced the rigid line of the stone archway that forced a crudely shaped window into the side of the inn. He stared at the sun, stared thoughtfully and imagined Mera standing there, the brilliant golden light flooding over her face and her hair. It would be so easy to run to the castle and coax her once more, but he couldn't...he had all but promised that he wouldn't. "She loves me...somewhere, I've seen it before and I know that she does love me."
She doesn't love you, fool. She doesn't love anyone - she simply enjoys you, enjoys protracting her pleasuring lust from you, that's all you are to her after all... A toy.
"Shut up! What would you know!" Arteon slammed the wall in frustration, his wispy auburn hair flocking over his forehead.
What would you know? You don't even know why you are here, or why I'm in your head, how could you solve a problem as difficult as love?
"I know why I'm here -" Arteon growled, tempering his anger as he seethed into a forced lapse, his eyes staring blankly at the cobblestone street far below him, at all the people wandering and all of the noise and smells that he did not notice or care for. He knew enough, he knew that somehow he was Kuja's better half, some twisted fate that doomed the man to a fruitless existence. All Arteon knew was that he was reason that either of the two was alive, his forceful will to live for love, and he also knew that he was the only obstacle that held Kuja back from his destructive path, his inevitable fate. "I'm here to stop you; fate has provided this world with a savior."
Hah, some savior - you won't even come out of hiding, tell the people you know that you're back to save the world. Why not, Arteon? Are you scared, maybe? Scared that they won't accept you, scared that...nobody loves you? That's all you are, after all, a confused lover. You couldn't survive if there was nothing to fuel your...fire, you would die and I would take over again.
Arteon gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the voice in his head, wishing with all his might that it would go away, that somehow he could run away to some part of the world where no one knew that the person that lived in his body beforehand was the merciless killer of thousands of innocents. But that was impossible...there was no getting around who he was, he just had to face it.
By the way, Art, I never got to ask. Was it a lot of fun that night in the theatre? You two seemed to have a blast after you seduced her. Ah, but whatever will my brother think when he finds out?
"Just go away..." Arteon muttered for what felt like the thousandth time, his eyes boring into the ancient stone beneath him, willing them to melt away and take him to hell where he belonged. It was never very convenient to have someone hanging around who knew everything about him. "It was an accident...I hadn't seen her in so long..."
Yes, and quite a fine piece she is nowadays, a real melt-in-your- mouth beauty, eh?
Would smashing his head open kill him or the voice inside first? "What do you care, you rejected her, that's why I'm here."
Yes...quite. So what do you plan to do now, lover boy? Are you going to apologize to her, or to Zidane, or to no one? I'm really dying to see what a savior of this world would do.
"I'm going to..." Arteon faltered, drawing himself up from the windowsill, "I'm going to..." He didn't know, he honestly didn't know, and that hurt him...hurt him almost as much as the look in Mera's eyes..."I will..." He closed his eyes with a sigh.
--
"Tonight..." The word moved through Zidane's dark mind like a lantern, trying to find some outlet. Foggily he wondered if he had actually heard the word spoken aloud, or if it was some sort of dream or memory. 'A lot of weird stuff happening to me lately, I wouldn't doubt it's just my imagination...' He thought, rolling around in the darkness.
The darkness changed to blinding light, and he forced his eyes to shut. A shadow moved across his vision, the sound of wind brushing stone flew in and then swept the sheets around him as he slowly woke to find that it was all actually happening. For a brief moment he lost the exact where and when and how of everything, lost in the darkness of sleep, and then one comforting thought came back to him. She loves me.
With it flooded in a whole cascade of memories and feelings from the night before, every detail and movement sketched deeply in his mind, he would never forget, and he would never doubt her again. There was no reason to doubt or to ever cry again, because life was so beautiful!
He opened his eyes and took a quick look around the room that he had lived in for the best three years of his life. Nothing had changed, there were still the strong stone walls and the excessive finery, the huge window that stood near the center of the room stood open, the probably cause of the wind, and Garnet was standing near it, a wispy nightgown flapping vigorously around her. As he stared at her, she turned to grab his glance and hold it in those huge luminous eyes, and then she smiled happily. Sincerely and beautifully happy. "Good morning."
"Good morning, dear." He yawned and shook his limbs to return the life to them, the action also bringing back who he was and who he was supposed to be. "I was just busy having the best dream about you."
"Really?" She grinned over at him before moving to her vast wardrobe, languidly flipping through dresses to wear for the day.
"Yes, maybe we can reenact it sometime soon, you are liable to do the most devious things in my dreams you know."
Garnet blushed modestly and moved back toward him, lifting her nightdress over her head fluently as she prepared to dress, "Oh stop, you know it's all probably happened before...now you'd better get dressed and ready, you'll be required to make an appearance at the courts today, and I'd like to have breakfast before we leave. Are you hungry?"
"Starving." Zidane jumped out of bed and rushed to her side before she could continue dressing, giving her a swift kiss on the lips, "Why, this looks absolutely delicious," He grabbed one of her plentiful breasts and tenderly curled his fingers around it, stooping to give it a quick lick, "Mmm, did you make this yourself? Why I believe I'll have two!"
"Zidane!" Garnet wailed as best as she could through her giggles, "Look the window is open someone could see us!"
"Could they?" Zidane laughed, his overwhelming affection leaving him quite a bit giddy in the head. Gently he hoisted Garnet up into his arms and carried her over to the window, following through with a heavy kiss that took his breath away. When he was quite finished he followed up breathlessly, "Let them see that I have the best woman alive."
"Zidane..." Garnet sighed and stared up at him. And then he let her slowly down to the ground, his hands lingering on her delicate shoulders for a long moment, as if his strength alone was all that was holding her together.
But the awkward moment passed and they both smiled again, Garnet raising on her tiptoes to kiss Zidane tenderly on the forehead before continuing to clothe herself. The wind carried a warm draft of morning air to float around them as Garnet spoke conversationally, "By the way, why I wanted you to come to the palace today was because there might actually be something for you and Steiner to do tonight."
"Oh?" Zidane spoke with believable disinterest.
"Yes, there is some religious rally scheduled tonight in the Third Market sector, some radical cult so some of the counselors are afraid that it could get violent...which means you might have to go patrol."
Zidane's expression brightened as he dug through his oversized wardrobe for some decent pants and a shirt. A religious event would be entertaining, even if he had basically given up his search for the god...the voice in his head told him about. Zidane almost laughed - now the whole thing sounded ridiculous. "Alright I'll go - might me a little more exciting than being by myself."
Garnet caught the whining tone and turned to look at him, licking her lips, "Don't worry then, I'm sure I can think of something entertaining for us to do tonight..."
That was more than enough inspiration for Zidane to dress and rush out the door, with a few more passionate exchanges with his wife of course. Yes, church patrol sounded a lot like heaven.
--
Steiner had often heard from idle chat that the lingering minutes left after sex, when the deed is done and silence falls, would always tell him what he truly felt for that other person. For some there was a hollow, painful ache, as if they had just thrown away everything they had for nothing and only recently realized it. For others there is the bittersweet pain of love, the urge to pull the woman to him and never let her go, knowing that such a thing isn't possible.
Steiner just felt the way he always felt. Confused. And since that was what he was used to, it didn't seem to matter that much - he simply rolled over and fitfully found his way to the land of dreams. But the land of dreams was far from comforting - in it swam the armies of questions and doubts that he fought daily. His orders, his duties, his love and freedom, all raging around in his mind, twisting and coiling around into a hissing brew of nightmare. Some of them called on him; compelled him to do something. Brahne and Andrew, Garnet, Beatrix, Zidane.they all swirled around and around and around until they finally merged into one shadowy form, one blurry face. Suddenly Steiner felt warm, his skin tingled as he stared into eyes that seemed distant yet felt very familiar. A hand reached out to him, welcoming him.no commanding him, ordering him to do something! Something he didn't want to do! He wouldn't do it! He wouldn't!
"Stupid boy!"
The dark face vanished and was replaced by a swelling light that tickled his eyelids. Hastily he raised a bare arm to shield himself from the light, reaching down to pull his woolen covers up over him.
"Come on you big baby, get up already!" Steiner peeked up through a squinting eyelid at the beautiful feminine figure standing over him, and all the sudden an overwhelming sense of gratitude swept over him. There stood Beatrix, all ready for her day in her white satin tunic and crimson cloak, her heavy defender sword swinging freely at her side from a leather scabbard. Her dark hair spilled all around her, doused in some perfume that tickled Steiner's senses, making him long for the night again. The night? Steiner's mind was suddenly tumbling around once again, different emotions agreeing never to make sense. What would happen when the night came - would the same ritual repeat over and over again - would there be progression, could he take the strain of never being sure? Did he love her?
Yes. "Thank you." Steiner took her hand and pulled himself from the bed, repeating his answer firmly in his head. Yes he did love her! And then he remembered that he was completely naked, and with a yelp he pulled the sheets up around him, earning a hearty laugh from Beatrix.
"Thank me for what? And what are you so scared about, you big idiot, tired of impressing me with those muscles, eh?" Beatrix ran her hand across his arm with another laugh, then turned toward the door, "Come on, you have to get dressed, the council is meeting early today to reach a decision on these religion zealots and their revival tonight. If everything goes well, the army might actually get some action!"
Steiner sighed and reached for his clothing - the idea of fighting didn't excite him, especially if it meant restraining and possibly injuring unarmed civilians. But if he was ordered to...his thought processes paused for a long time as he worked that one out - if he was ordered to...then he would. Of course.
--
Blank walked the rough cobblestones pensively toward the airship docks, arguing with his mind the whole way. In some part of him he felt that this was the last time he might ever see a very attractive woman that he seemed to have some sort of special connection with. Another half of him accepted the fact that she didn't like him at all and it would probably be good for him to just leave her behind and start up his life again. His life, the gambler and the drinker and the loner all mixed up into a big ball of sadness.
He didn't want to go back to that, but somehow he knew that would be good for him and good for everyone else. Kazal was far enough away so that he would never bother anyone...that was depressing. Blank sighed and searched his pocket for a coin he could play with, trying to guide his thoughts to happier plains. Of course going back to Kazal wasn't all bad - there were probably...new beers that he'd never tasted before...and he could become rich and live in a mansion all by himself with servants and admirers...
Perhaps it was his imagination but for some reason he imagined that she would be upset with him for giving up so easily. After all, he just walked in on her naked; surely they were still on good terms... "Nope, doesn't matter." Blank grumbled and hoisted his coin high at the glaring sun, "I'm leaving!"
The coin exploded into an array of colorful fireworks, earning a yelp from Blank as he jumped back a pace, looking around for his attacker. And there was Vivi; standing in a dark doorway with...what Blank could only imagine was a smug smile on his face. "What's your damn problem, kid?" Blank berated the black mage as he regained his composure, "I was thinking!"
Vivi shrugged innocently, "I thought maybe it would cheer you up!"
"Yeah, yeah...sneaky little bastard." Blank muttered, ambling up to the diminutive mage, looking dangerously childish in his oversized blue robes and floppy brown hat. Looks could be very deceptive, seeing as the kid was probably the greatest mage Blank had ever known. But then again, Vivi was half-harmless; he was much too nice to ever take advantage of his full potential. "So kid, where'd you hide your family? I thought they'd be out here with you, stumbling around and standing out as much as possible, you know?"
Vivi sniffed, he had long since been ignoring people who teased him about his clumsy behavior, "I took them home. I'm gonna go back to Dali as soon as I go tell Zidane and Garnet goodbye." The 'kid' had always had a strong attachment to Zidane, and Blank couldn't blame him. Zidane had that strange way of making everyone feel attracted to him, even if they had nothing in common. Maybe that was why Baku had taken in the little punk, instead of making him fend for himself. Blank of course, always had to earn what he got...not that he resented it, it made a man much stronger to work for his life, work for his women...
"Well when you see them tell them that I'm leaving too - I've got a ship to catch, cards to deal, you know how it is...busy life."
"Yeah." Vivi nodded eagerly, "The harvest is waiting back at home. I need to get the kumai before it gets too ripe."
Hmph, damn kid trying to impress him with his farming crap. "Good luck then, I'm outta here."
"Where are you off to?" A strong, melodic voice sounded from behind him, a voice that could only belong to Zidane. Blank turned with a deep sigh and a fake grin to look at the lucky husband of a queen, standing loosely in a swath of regal garb.
"Oh, hey bro. I was just telling the kid how I've got work to do at home. I've got to get going, the airship is leaving in just a few minutes." Truthfully it probably wasn't going anywhere, but he would rather walk back to Kazal then be surrounded by the over-compassionate bastards for another minute.
Zidane frowned deeply and glanced over at Vivi, who shrugged up at him with a smile. The genome kneaded his forehead for a moment before speaking, "Well...I don't know how to ask you this...but can you stick around for just one more day - do me a favor? You too, Vivi."
"Well I don't know," Blank shook his head slowly, "Vivi is a busy man with the harvest and all, he's got a family to tend to and windmills to guard, and all of that thrown together could take upwards of a lifetime...it's probably not a good time you know-"
"I can stay, Zidane. What do you need me for?" Vivi squinted his beady eyes as he stepped from the shadows into the bright autumn glare falling on the main street of Alexandria.
"Great!" Zidane took a few steps toward Vivi, motioning with his fingers for Blank to come closer as he whispered in a royally confidential tone, "There's a rally tonight, it's those Followers of the Deliverer, the religious radicals. The council met today and decided, from what our informants have told us, that the radicals could be possibly dangerous, so we're setting up some posts tonight, just in case."
"That sounds horribly interesting-"
"I wouldn't ask," Zidane rolled smoothly over Blank's millionth excuse, "but I really don't trust all of these new soldiers Beatrix has been training - they're all young and inexperienced, I'm not sure what they would do if something really happened. Steiner and Beatrix are going to help me, and maybe Marcus too, but it would be great if you guys could stick around too, just in case and all...it might even be fun."
"I heard that there's going to be a big tournament in Kazal tonight, and I really don't want to-"
"At the very least we could just sit around the fire and drink a while, talk about old times or something..." Zidane's eyes shone brightly as he looked from Blank to Vivi and back again, "I haven't had much time to talk to my friends lately and there's a lot to talk about."
Dammit! It was completely unfair how sickeningly charismatic Zidane was. Blank petulantly muttered something about being able to spare a couple more hours, even if it did mean losing thousands of Gil, and of course Vivi eagerly agreed to do anything for Zidane. Of course it was very possible that Blank genuinely would have fun - especially if beer was involved, but it was the variable of staying one more day that irked him. After all...everything could go wrong in just one day - but then again, what did he know?
Stay or leave
I want you not to go but you should
It was good as good goes,
Stay or leave
I want you not to go but you did...
Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews