Chapter Nine: Pride is the Deadliest Sin
"It's not what you think." The words slipped out of Garnet's mouth naturally along with a modest blush as she stood in the doorway staring at Kain. 'Now he shows up.' She curled her robe more tightly around herself, then slowly beckoned for him to come inside, "Come on, I...umm...I just have a few questions I'd like to ask you."
"Right, of course!" Kain stammered to a start, stumbling awkwardly into the room with a furious assortment of blushes and bobs. Apparently, despite his decidedly stupid appearance – he understood exactly what had transpired beforehand and it was running through his mind. Or at least he 'thought' he knew. 'I didn't do anything wrong!' Garnet reminded herself with a polite smile,
"Thanks for coming." If he was thinking in the wrong direction already then it was entirely possible that he had a completely delusional idea about what the meeting was really about. It wasn't as if she was just sitting around her room handing out free love to anyone who happened to walk by – she was the Queen. Everything contained in her life was ruled by dignity and diplomacy.
So the fact that she was entertaining a strange man in her private chambers with nothing more than a flimsy robe on probably could be considered a compromising position. She blushed and turned around, hugging her robe tightly, "Uhm...Kain. Look, this meeting has nothing to do with us personally...us...as in a relationship between you and I. You do understand that, right?"
"Of course, right! Yeah...sure, I know- wouldn't think anything else of it naturally...you're the queen and all – absolutely. Nothing, right." Kain bustled in clumsily and shut the door behind him, leaving him poised tensely against the frame, looking as guilty as a kid with his hand in a cookie jar.
Garnet forgave him easily; being the kind person that she was, and waved him toward the elegant purple plush love seat perched beside the open wall window. "That's fine. I'm just interested in your past...you look so...very familiar and I want to place you." That was basically it – that was basically the truth. Garnet didn't understand why she felt so incredibly attached or connected to Kain, but she sure as hell wanted to figure it out.
--
It didn't take a genius to figure out that the crowd of ragged, armed miscreants massed at the entrance to the Alexandrian docks wasn't there for a party. But of course Blank was shitfaced – so it took him a while longer than the average deadbeat gambler to understand his dilemma. But it eventually sank in. But by then it was basically too late to do anything about it.
"Halt!" One man, standing off a little from the main group and obviously the appointed 'look out' hailed Blank. "Are you a friend of the Deliverer or foe?"
'I shouldn't have drank so much...' Blank groaned to himself as he fumbled in his pocket for some form of excuse. What he found was his deck of cards. "I..." He mumbled, pulling a card from his deck and thrusting it in the lookout's face. "Well...ya see this...this card?"
"Yeah." The lookout growled back at him.
"Well..." Blank looked at the card. It was the two of clubs. "Wursht card inna game, ya know?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Blank coughed and stuck the card back in his pocket, drawing his sword as a healthy alternative. "Gesh thadda mus' be your hand inna...in duh game o' life the-then, huh?"
The lookout probably would have replied, but the sword that thrust itself forcibly through his throat probably impeded his speech. Before Blank had time to withdraw his sword the rest of the group - a good three score armed but inexperienced rioters – were alert and charging for him. "That was really stupid." Blank muttered to no one in particular, then swung his sword heavily at his first aggressor, throwing himself off balance from the weight of the blow. He tottered for a moment, then recovered – delivering a heavy kick to the first man's chest and sending the attacker crashing backwards into his allies.
A few minutes discovered two important pieces of information for Blank. The first was that he was still somehow a decent fighter even while being completely incapacitated in most of the basic motor skills...like talking. The second was that being a decent fighter really didn't mean shit when you were trying to fight sixty guys at the same time. But suddenly in the middle of the drunken spree Blank realized that it didn't matter. Nothing really mattered...and he was almost positive it wasn't just the whiskey that was saying that. If he couldn't have a woman to love...if he couldn't have the woman he loved, then his life was meaningless. And if he could die protecting the life of the woman he loved...
"Hurry up and kill this bastard!" Some dark figure from the back of the mob yelled, "We need to grab the Regent and his family before Lord Eris gets pissed!"
Blank held a fuzzy picture of Gabrielle in the bath in his mind – and with a childish grin on his face he plunged into the flood of enemies, twirling his sword with years of expertise – a whirlwind of doom. If he could die protecting the woman he loved then maybe he could feel all right about himself. Maybe he could feel like he was actually useful.
--
Alicia rushed to the deck of the Hilda Garde as soon as she heard the commotion of danger. Her mind a flurry with questions about the safety of her charge, she walked straight into the center of Cid barking instructions at the crewmembers.
"Everyone armed and to your post, don't let anyone within twenty feet of this ship without the proper authentication!"
A fight. The thought sickened Alicia – bruising all of her hopes for a restful night, restful trip. 'I don't get paid enough for this job!' She moaned to herself as she rushed up the stairs onto the flight deck, skirts in hand to avoid tripping, "What's going on Cid?"
The brief flutter in Cid's eyes and odd clutching of Cid's hands probably wouldn't have meant anything to most people – but Alicia was used to reading his signs. He didn't want her to be there. The painful twinge of frustration hit her – she felt like screaming in his face, like slapping him over and over again – but their were more important matters at hand...like being a good tutor, a good servant to the household... Alicia glimpsed the flash of steel through a window, and strutted primly over to watch – stroking at her hair calmly as she asked again, "What's going on Cid?"
This time he answered her. "There's some sort of riot going on in the streets. We have no way of knowing what is happening but a large group has blockaded the exit to the docks so...we're just sitting tight and waiting for them to move." Alicia looked out at the dozens of dirty men churning about in the twilight, grim faces and dark blades illuminated by the glow of torches. 'We should have left today...We should never have stayed...we should...'
"What's that?" Alicia pointed out the window at a frenzied flash of steel just beyond the dock gate. "Can you see out there?" Cid and the crew all moved forward simultaneously, straining to spot what she was pointing out.
"I don't see anything – what are you talking about?" Cid growled irritably. Alicia ignored him; she was staring at the form of a lone man that she could barely make out. A lone man who was facing what looked like a score of the rioters. A lone man who was facing them all by himself. A brief flood of pride washed over her – to think that someone could be so brave. 'He's trying to save us...'
"He's trying to protect us!" She yelled, turning to face Cid, "He knows we're in danger and he's trying to protect us! You have to go help him!"
"What are you talking about? I can't even see what you're talking about – how can I send my men out their and risk their lives?" Cid put his head into his hand and blew into it, and Alicia could feel the frustration, feel the difficulty of making a decision and trying to be a good leader...
"Please trust me." Alicia made one last final effort. Cid looked her in the eyes and shook his gray head, his eyes wandering back to the dim figures lingering outside the ship.
"I can't."
Alicia looked at him one final time, then turned on her heel and stalked down the deck, her mind settled firmly on the last option that she could see. "Then I'll trust myself."
--
Zidane was panting slightly when he reached the outer courtyard of the palace, and his eyes examined the area thoroughly while he let his breath catch up with him. 'That's sad – I'm really getting out of shape.' He mused, relieved that from what he could see the marauders had not reached the castle yet.
"Alright," Zidane turned to Vivi and the soldiers, "Stay here and guard the entrance, I'm going to go up and make sure Garnet is alright." The soldiers saluted in obeisance.
'I've been slacking off.' Zidane thought as he ran up the stairs to his personal chambers. He used to do pushups and sit-ups and practice training swords with the rest of the soldiers. Now he just sort of sat around his apartment and acted official...went to all the parties, drank as much as he could without crossing the proper limit...dreamt of Garnet. 'Guess Blank is right...I'm not much a hero anymore...' But Blank also was drunk...
A black blur brushed past Zidane on the stairwell and Zidane froze, feeling a chill seeping through his skin. Was that...no it couldn't be...
A blinding, acid rain had settled as he stepped out under the frozen sky. It was so dark... So cold, naked and alone beneath the leering sky. But somehow he knew it was alright...he knew he had won. Even though his arms felt so heavy...
He was just seeing things...thinking things. Zidane shook his head, took a deep breath and charged up the stairs. What a strange night.
The sounds of muffled voices escorted his way to the royal chamber. The door was shut...Garnet was probably entertaining one of the royal advisors... Zidane approached the door then hesitated with his hand on the knob. He didn't recognize the voice that was speaking. Who was in the room with his wife?
The man, definitely a man – a man with a deep, rich voice that sounded as timid as a mouse, was just finishing some sort of story, "That's as much as I can tell you, your highness...I know I'm not very interesting..." Was Garnet interrogating someone? Zidane almost laughed.
"No, please." Garnet's voice rang through the door, "I'm so glad you were willing to do this for me. If you don't mind me saying so there's just something about you that sends chills through my spine, from the first time I saw you...I knew I had to find out more about you..." Hey wait a minute...Zidane shrank away from the door and pressed himself against the wall. Garnet had said the same thing about him! What the hell was going on in there?
"My lady..." The man was saying again, but Garnet cut him off.
"Come on now you're blushing, stop it. Don't look at me like that-oh..." Zidane heard Garnet giggle and then there was silence for a horribly long moment before Garnet spoke again, "Here." Zidane could hear the bed creak loudly, and then the man gasped,
"My lady!"
"Don't worry..." Garnet laughed again, "This is just my way of saying thank you."
Silence. Zidane slid slowly down the wall. He felt like his back was broken. The furious urge to rip down the door and beat the shit out of whoever was in there was suppressed by a growing feeling of overwhelming resignation. What the hell did it matter? What was he even doing there...oh yeah...rioters destroying the city...killing the nobles.
Zidane heard Garnet murmur something like 'It's not –that- big.' And the bed creaked again. Zidane felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes. Why...she was the Queen...she could do whatever the hell she wanted. But he still loved her. Why would she...how could she... Zidane dropped his head into his arms and the tears flowed freely.
Engaged in his sorrowful occupation, Zidane didn't hear the activity within the closed room change until the door flew open with a faint rustle of oiled hinges, and there the man stood framed in the doorway. The man...blushing like a baby, his huge, muscular figure looked bumbling and awkward as he stepped away from Garnet. Garnet, wearing a half-tied dressing robe and blushing quite a bit herself. Until she saw Zidane. She saw Zidane about a half second before the big man stumbled backwards into him, tripping on his back into the dimly-lit hallway.
"Zidane!" Garnet dropped quickly to his side as Zidane looked up through blurry eyes at her. "What's wrong?"
"My lady..." Zidane replied bitterly, sarcastically. A little too bitter... Garnet's eyes flashed angrily. She wasn't used to being challenged.
"Y-your highness?" The man fumbled up from the hallway. Garnet waved at him distractedly,
"Uhmm...oh yes, Kain this is my husband, Zidane. Zidane this is Kain...he's...a friend."
"Strange we've never met." Zidane muttered.
Kain tried to babble out a lame excuse, "Uh, well yes, you see it's because-"
"Kain I think you'd better go." Garnet spoke bluntly, her eyes still locked on Zidane's. So she knew that he knew...Zidane slid further down the wall until he was almost lying on the ground. When he glanced back at the hallway Kain had disappeared.
"So this is how it is." So this is how it was...how could he have been so blind – it all looked so plain now.
"How what is – Zidane I think you're overreacting!" Garnet bristled back, pulling her robe tightly around her. More modest around her husband than a new friend...
"I don't know...I think I'm reacting quite well considering the circumstances. How long have you been entertaining your male friends while I'm out in town? Since the first day we were married? Before that?" Rage bubbled out more and more as he spoke; pouring from hidden vats that he never knew existed. If Garnet was shocked at his behavior, she took it as calmly as only a queen could.
"You're so jealous, Zidane...I swear...you're such a baby." Garnet laughed and placed a light hand on his shoulder, "Come on love...you don't think that I'd-"
Zidane shook her hand away. "Well what am I supposed to think? What the hell should I know!? I mean you're the queen – right? Why the fuck is it my business? I'm just Zidane..."
"I..." Garnet's gaze softened for a long moment... then the queen took over. "You're right – it isn't any of your business. If you're going to act so childish about our relationship then I suppose you don't deserve an explanation."
"I don't need one...you can go run off with your 'Kain' for all I care."
"Maybe I will!" Their gazes met and caught like a barbed arrow, Zidane holding on for dear life, Garnet trying to shake away in denial but unable to. "Maybe..." A frenzied bursts of faint shouts and the distant clattering of battle noises pulled the arrow free and Garnet quickly turned her head, "What was that?"
"Why I came up here..." Zidane rose and straightened himself, brushing roughly at his face to rid himself of any lingering tears. Whatever he was, he was still a man – and men weren't...supposed...to cry. "I have to go protect your palace and your city now...so...whatever you do, be careful." He turned to walk away.
"Zidane wait!" His departure was impeded by her sudden tugging on his arm and before he knew it he had turned back around and was holding her in his arms and melting into her own and he was kissing her and the tears were flowing endlessly from his eyes. Goddammit he was supposed to be a man, but why...why did it always seem that she always had the upper hand?
"Garnet." He panted bitterly through his tears, pulling away slowly, "I love you...you know that. My God you must know that! But if this is the way you want it-"
"Zidane..."
"If this is the way you want it!" He rode over her frantically, his voice dangerously close to breaking, "Then that is your decision. If this is our final parting as...as..." 'Stop crying you idiot!' "As lovers then...I'll survive. Goodbye Garnet." 'Try to walk away with something...at least give her the illusion that you're a man.'
No such illusion succeeded as Zidane dashed headlong down the hallway, away from the royal bedchamber with the silk sheets and the wall window and the reminiscent wafts of perfumes from days gone by. Away from the tower, away from it's narrow, dark hallways and spiraling stone staircases. Away from the fear of reality that goaded just a step behind him.
Away so fast that he never quite caught Garnet's final words; barely whispered as she clutched her arms beneath her breasts and watched him fly away. "You are my only..."
--
The stalemate seemed to last for an eternity, time stilled by the chill breath of fear. It was quite obvious that the rioters had the upper hand. In fact they outnumbered Beatrix's meager allotment of soldiers by at least twenty to one. But still none of the members of the civilian army seemed ready to sacrifice their lives against the obviously more skilled soldiers of the Alexandrian army. So they all just stood and watched. The Soldiers watching the Priest standing above his minions, and the minions watching Beatrix.
Beatrix pursed her lips. That was the problem with being a General, everyone looked to you to make the first move. She had already screwed up enough for the night...she had already screwed up enough in her life – she didn't want to waste anymore lives in folly. Not to mention the fact that she had already heavily underestimated the enemy...which was the only reason that her and her soldiers were in a compromising position at all.
Why did today have to be a fuck up? Beatrix turned her eyes slowly toward Steiner and couldn't help but flinch as she did so. What a beautiful night...what a wonderful feeling...perhaps just a little extra motivation to get this damn fool's errand out of the way and spend the rest of the night with her love.
Beatrix sighed away the thought and focused back on the enemy, reviewing the information she had in her mind. It seemed they were an army fighting because some prophecy said all the kings had to die before their savior could come back and rescue the lower class. It was pure bullshit, but that was what made them so dangerous. If this was a real army fighting for a real cause then it would be easy to reason with them...in fact a real army probably would not have attacked the Alexandrian forces at all. A group of insane dreamers however...not to mention half of the army was on reserve and had not even been alerted yet...not to mention half of the city had followed the insane dreamers on their fool's errand. In short...Beatrix was fucked.
"Is there any way we could come to a compromise?" Beatrix ground the tip of her sword into the gravel as she said this. This had to be the first time she had ever asked that groveling question. "We realize you have a grievance, but obviously we cannot simply agree to your request. Why don't we appoint a council and meet with the queen, find some way to reconcile our differences-"
"No." The abrupt answer made Beatrix bite her lip; "This is not a matter of comparing trivial wants like some noble's game." The High Priest stared condescendingly down his nose at her; "This is not some chance conflict between two land-grabbing nations. This is a holy war. This is a battle between good and evil." The scowl turned into an odd smile, "And I know the forces of evil love to use lies and treachery to gain the victory...however, the forces of good will not do so. The forces of good will not compromise!"
A huge cheer rolled through his eager audience and suddenly Beatrix realized something. Sure this Priest was manipulative and insane...but these people loved him. They listened to what he said and adored his ideals and his dream... Beatrix's eyes narrowed. And they loved him more than they loved their Queen. The sword flew up.
"Treacherous in mind...treacherous in action...Alexandria bows to no one – no one!" She swung the sword out to point at the Priest...who was oddly still smiling, "Since you choose to acknowledge some ridiculous savior over your Queen then I'll show you what is done to traitors in this great land! Hyaaaaaaaa!" With a valiant yell she hurtled forward into the horde of enemies – one thought on her mind. She would kill the crazy bastard. For Alexandria. For her Queen. For Steiner.
A line of white armored knights closed in to block her path, but she was ready for that. Planting her feet firmly she launched herself up jumping as high as she could, then replanted her right foot on one of the Knight's armored shoulder. He grunted as her weight came down heavily then left again as she flew into a flip, spinning around as she swept her sword down, pointed straight for the head of the Priest. A perfect Climhazzard. One strike and the whole miserable night would be over. "Goodbye." She whispered into the smiling face.
And he just kept smiling until the very last second...then...gone. Gone so suddenly that it left a clear image of him wavering in the space he had been just a moment before. But it was the image that Beatrix slashed through from head to toe, driving her sword so hard into the cobblestones that the weapon was jarred from her hands.
"What the hell...?" Beatrix growled, turning around slowly in confusion, half-expecting him to just be standing there a few paces away. But he was gone... 'Teleporting.' That was the answer she finally came to. 'But Vivi is the only Mage I know left alive that is powerful enough to do such a thing...if he is that powerful then...'
Then Beatrix remembered exactly where she was, and she spun around to find her soldiers. Her plan for a crippling, battle-ending attack had failed, and so the battle had begun instead. The Alexandrian soldiers had already been pushed back by the surging mob, attacked from three sides with the broad, empty Castle Street to their back; the gleaming castle rising like a banner behind them. Beatrix couldn't tell if the battle seemed more one of pride or desperation, she didn't have time to think. The White Knights had turned their line and the mob was moving in behind her. The entire Market Plaza was filled from end to end, all of the stands and wagons pushed aside or crushed in the frenzied moment. It seemed the whole city was there, as if everyone who could hold a weapon had showed up to stab it into the Queen...in the name of a God, in the name of a Savior they didn't even know.
It was so damn funny she could have cried. Instead she braced herself, turning in a long, slow circle, Save the Queen extended in front of her, the strong blade shining as white as the castle in the glow of the moon. It didn't make any sense...there were no reasons, no answers, no objectives to move toward. This wasn't a battle, it was lunacy. And it was time to show Alexandria once again why she was the Queen's Sword. 'I'll spend tonight in your arms, Steiner. No matter what!'
I try to be the man I am,
In times of broken lives,
Shattered dreams and plans,
Standing up to fight,
The pressures and demands,
Staring at the knife,
Holding in your hand,
What used to be your life.
This world is crazy...crazy...
My dreams are fading...fading...
I want my life...
You find your fucked up holy wars,
Fire Anti-Christ
Jesus will come down
And help us win tonight
Now how should I feel?
I think I feel alright.
Tell me where to aim.
I'm blinded by the light.
This world is crazy...crazy...
My dreams are fading...fading...
No one can save me...save me...
I want my life...
And when I wake up you'll be here.
And it will be the way it was...
The way it was...
I want my life...
My Life – Smile Empty Soul