Disclaimer: No soy el dueño de Nintendo o Super Smash Bros.

Chapter Four: Mayonnaise and Other Legumes

Wes stared, gaping like an idiot. Rui was his friend from when he toppled Cipher and saved the entire Pokémon world from a hostile takeover. After defeating them, however, Wes and Rui had parted ways. Wes missed her terribly, but now that she was back, he promised himself that he wouldn't let her go this time. "Wes..." Rui had now noticed him standing there. She rushed down the stairs, looked at him for a minute, and flung her arms around him. Wes did the same. "I missed you so much..." she whispered. Everyone else went, "Awww," except for Mewtwo and Ganondorf, who looked like they were about to throw up. Suddenly, Master Hand spoke, interrupting this reunion which put Vermont's sap supply to shame.

"Um...everybody should probably go to their rooms now and unpack. We'll have plenty of time for that later," Rubber Hand Man said, looking at the reunited friends. The Super Smashers obeyed, walking their respective ways to their quarters. The first to enter their room were Mario and Luigi, because, well, their room was on the first floor of the cylindrical annex. There was one room on each floor of the building, so there were twelve floors in total. The girls' building had twelve floors too, even though there were only five rooms. Master Hand said the extra seven were for "storage", but the men had their suspicions. Anyway, the Mario Bros.' room wasn't extremely ornate or anything, about what one would find in a semi-fancy hotel. There were two double beds with a nightstand, clock, and lamp between them, a TV/armoire, a few closets, and a door leading to a bathroom. The only thing elegant was a crystal chandelier that hung from the ceiling.

Well, that was boring. Let's see how some of the others are doing...

Marth, Link, and Roy entered Room 13 on the top floor of the dormitories. The window overlooked a lake in back of the mansion that had been formerly overlooked (ha ha ). Their furnishings were just the same as everyone else's, except the room was a little bigger, with three beds. "One bathroom for the three of us? I'll go crazy!" Link exclaimed.

"You're telling me," said Marth. "Do you know how long it probably takes for Roy to gel his hair?"

"Well, I'd hypothesize several hours..." said Link.

"Hey, you don't know that!" yelled Roy indignantly. "On average, I only take about two, tops."

"Yeah, well, you're using the bathroom last."

"Hey, y'know," said Marth, trying to change the subject, "for being in Room 13, it doesn't seem any unluckier than any other room we could have been assigned."

"Yeah," agreed Link. "It's...hey, do those screws on the chandelier seem loose to you...OW!"

"I'm going to go mad," prophesized Marth, putting his head in his hands.

In Room 4...

"So, is your name French?" Wes asked Cloud, trying to make polite conversation.

"French? What are you talking about?" asked Cloud.

"You know, C-l-a-u-d-e!"

"Dude, if my name were French, it would be 'Nuage'. My name's spelled like the white puffy things in the sky."

"Oh," said Wes, embarrassed. "So, do you like things?"

Cloud turned around and took several deep breaths.

All of a sudden, a voice came on the intercom that was also installed in the rooms.

"Everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody," Master Hand sang.

"What the..." Wes said, confused.

"Um, sorry. I just wanted to tell everybody, everybody, everybody that dinner is now served. Tonight, it's an all-you-can-eat buffet, because that's way easier than trying to prepare 37 portions of things. Oh, and the dining room is on the fifth door to your right as you come in the mansion."

"YAHOO," everyone thought they heard, coming from the vicinity of Room 1 in the guys' dorms.

When the Smashers arrived for dinner, the buffet table was piled high with enjoyable foodstuffs. When dinner was over, there was one scrap of roast beef which Bowser and Mario were fighting over. Then, from seemingly out of nowhere, a Siamese cat came walking into the room, and stole the roast beef.

"Um...what just happened?" inquired Bowser, staring forlornly at the place where the slice of meat used to be.

"Ah, that would be the cat, Whiskers," said Master Hand, again, from seemingly out of nowhere.

"Whiskers?" criticized Falco. "You can create entire worlds and amazing creatures, but the most imaginative name for a cat you can come up with is WHISKERS!?"

"Well, yeah."

After some post-meal conversation and some coffee, which some suspected was all decaf, the Super Smashers retired to their beds after their first part of a day of the not-yet-begun Super Smash Bros. Tournament.

"Well, here's to a good year, or should I say, a smashing year!" said Marth to his roommates, chuckling at his not-so-clever pun. And with that, the light was turned out, and complete silence fell upon the three swordsmen. At least until Roy said:

"Hey, why don't we tell scary stories?"

"No, Roy," said his blue-haired friend.

"Why, are you chicken? Are you scared? Should I get your mattress a protective lining?"

"Oh, we'll see who's chicken. Tell your stupid story."

"Okay, here goes. Once, there was a boy by the name of...Johann Sebastian Bach. And he...ate lots of poo."

"What? That's not scary, that's disgusting!" Link, however, did not support Marth in his argument, for he was too busy giggling.

"One day, Johann was taking a walk through the woods, snacking on poo-"

"Roy..."

"-when he came to a clearing. Standing on a stump in the middle was the sinister possum king. The king sent his cronies to lunge at poor Johann, but he had a trick up his sleeve, or should I say his pant leg. He quickly whipped out his skin flute, which squirted a mysterious liquid when-"

"ROY! If you don't stop being sick, I'll..."

"I'll what? Hit me with your 'skin flute'?"

"No, what I was thinking of had the word 'homicide' in it. Now stop it!"

"Oh, fine."

All was peaceful for awhile, until...

"Hey, guess what? I eat poo!"

"Arghhh..."

"Okay, I have a joke. So there were these guys who didn't have enough money for drinks, right?"

"Roy, please..."

"Okay, I'll just tell you the punchline. So the second guy says, 'Yeah, and I lost the sausage after the first two!'."

While this was going on, Link was laughing so hard that Marth thought he was the one who needed a protective bed liner.

"Eating poo is fun!

Eating poo is good!

Not everybody does it,

But everybody should!"

Great, thought the hapless Marth. Stuck in a room with two hyper roommates, and one is talking about eating poo, of all things. Could it get any worse? Marth's question was answered as Roy began singing:

Come, Mr. Tally-Man, tally me banana,

Daylight come, and me wanna go home.

Marth put his pillow over his head as he hoped to God that this was a one-time thing.

O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O O

Sorry if that chapter sucked, but the last part was based on a personal experience of mine. Please don't inquire any further. Anyway, reviews are appreciated, and I will put up another chapter fairly soon.