Disclaimer: I don't own squat. If you thought I did, you are very strange and very mistaken. Ok well, some OC's are mine but whatever.
Paint me in Stripes - Chapter 1.
BRAND NEW
"Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't"
I am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
I am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry I told. I just needed you to know.
I think in decimals and dollars.
I am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me what's it like to have
myself so figured out.
I wish I knew..
I hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about,
who i don't wanna write about anymore.
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,
I just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
I was just wanna believe, I just wanna believe,
I just wanna believe, in us.
It takes seventeen seconds for a luggy spat from the balcony of the astronomy tower to hit the ground. Yes I was all too aware that studying the aerodynamics of gobs of spit is a pretty depressing means of distraction, but what can you do. Despite the fact that I view my family as a great disgusting disappointment and a supreme embarrassment, there are certain aspects of my personality of which I must give them credit. I don't know if these traits are genetic or can be attributed to the endless verbal tirades and brain washing of my parental units. Either way I can still envision my fathers overly groomed face yelling.
"Damn it Sirius, get to your God Damn room, you cry like one of those god damned muggle sympathizers! I don't even count you as part of this family but you still bear the name! And God damn it the Noble Blacks do not show emotion in public. People fear the Blacks but no one fears a God Damned cry baby, now get to your room!!!" My fathers face swam in front of me, big cuban cigar and all. He always reminded me of some kind of Mafia crime lord. I guess based on his line of work the comparison wasn't really very far off, but seriously I think that he could have been an understudy in the godfather.
Fuck thinking about that. I re-gathered my mucus and hocked another one over the edge. I watched it fall but my eyes began to drift. Surprise sur-fucking –prise, they were still there. I should probably clarify that the reason that I was standing up in the highest location of the school, wasn't really to nail first years still naive enough to stand below the balconies with spittle. I was actually up here for the view. More accurately the view of the quidditch pitch, where currently two, 7th year students could be seen making themselves cozy together in the top row of the bleachers. From here they really weren't recognizable. In-fact if I didn't have a detailed map in front of me, showing the location of ever student, teacher, and ghost in the greater Hogwarts area, I honestly wouldn't have the slightest clue to their identity. But as it was two dots one green and the other blue, were labeled Lucius Malfoy and Kalina Kleese and they were positioned practically on top of each other.
I watched in tired amusement as a little Hufflepuff boy ran his pudgy hands threw his hair, before looking up in disgust. Funny, but not enough to distract me.
If I looked really hard I swear I could see his greasy hands slowly leaving a trail of filth up her thigh. I fucking hate Lucius. It made me sick to think that at a not to distant point in my life we, me and Lucius that is, were grouped into the same cauldron. Both of us were almost poster children for the Aryan race, ( I seriously think my father would have liked me more if I was bond) Both our parents sat on nest eggs so large it's a surprise they didn't have saddle rash. And most importantly both our families, in one grand parade of incest could trace our bloodline directly back to good ol' Salazar himself.
I spat again but this time it was actually out of disgust.
The worst part about Lucius was the greed. I swear he was in a constant state of jealousy. Despite the fact that he had everything he was never satisfied. He was constantly buying and stealing things of people. Not because he actually wanted them, no worldly object could make Lucius happy. He took them because he wanted to be in control. He wanted other people not to have them. Power is next to godliness, and Lucius was your stereotypical megalomaniac.
That was why he was currently snuggling so comfortably with Kalina Kleese. Not because he liked her or enjoyed spending time with her. She was just another possession to him. A possession that made someone else happy, so inevitably he had to have her. The smug fucking smile he probably had plastered across his well shaven face had nothing to do with the slender Ravenclaw, wrapped securely and contently in his arms. He was probably grinning like a Cheshire cat, imagining me sitting alone in the astronomy tower, spitting at first years, and feeling sorry for myself.
Lucius had taken everything from me really. My father had taken my absence at home rather lightly, instead opting to send my Christmas presents to Lucius. He was more welcome in my house then I ever was. My little brother idle worshiped Lucius. My mom fawned over him, even my house elf would serve him before me. But fuck that, he could have those twisted bastards. I sure as shit didn't want them, and the fact that only the names Gregarious, Dimona, and Regulus were listed under the Black family in the phone-book was proof to that. But we will cover that runaway later.
Anyways, my family apparently wasn't enough to satisfy bottomless stomach. So he moved on. And here he was cuddling up with my girlfr...my ex-girlfriend.
Kalina. I know it might sound a bit cliché, but I really should have seen it coming.
From the minute the sorting hat decided that Kalina and I weren't cracked up for Slytherin we had been in the same boat. She had gone to Ravenclaw and me to Gryffindor. Although the two houses are about as similar as lions and eagles, to our families there are only two groups of people at Hogwarts. Slytherins and that other shit.
So we easily found refuge in each other. Complaining about the tyranny of our families and escaping our absurd unwanted expectations. Granted, the fact that she was a total bombshell didn't really deter me from wanting to spend time in her charming company. Eventually making the jump into a relationship was only natural. In sixth year we officially became an item. Things had gone more or less great and were still going great, until...what the hell.
The worst part is I can sorta see her side of the whole deal. Shit I honestly feel a bit sorry for her. I wish I didn't. I really wish I could talk shit about her, give her the dagger eyes when I walked by her in the halls, just like every other over dramatic matchbook romance. Unfortunately I can only envy the masses content with their black and white relationships. I have to pity Kalina because I know exactly where she is coming from.
Imagine you Dad personally visiting the school to try to arrange a re-sorting. Imagine your parents only writing you at school to inform you, that you are still viewed by the family as a disappointment. Imagine coming home for Christmas Holidays to listen to your mom's diatribe about how the only greater black sheep than yourself was your should-have-been-abortion girlfriend. I had gone threw exactly the same thing. I suppose the only reason I never broke it off with her, for your run of the mill pure-blood skank was because my dress robes were embroidered in scarlet and gold. She wasn't brave enough to be a Gryffindor; she didn't have the guts to stand up to her parentals. Eventually all the propaganda and the brainwashing broke her down. She was sick of taking her parents shit, so she buckled. She grabbed the boy she knew her parents would approve of. The poster boy of pure blood superiority. Lucius Fucking Malfoy.
And that prick was only to gleeful to cut in and watch me take the news with a slacked jaw and weak knees.
I tried to hate her, but I really couldn't. Instead I transferred the hate to her parents, my parents, and the whole twisted pureblood mind set. Screw that.
I hocked another over the ledge and began the long trudge back to Gryffindor common room. As I dragged my feat my thoughts slowly began to fill with visions of the Lestrange bothers eating pubic hair soup. Excellent.