Title: Not That Bad of a Guy
Author: Yours Truly
Archive: Lapsus Calimi/Goulashism, and perhaps elsewhere. Ask me if you want to archive this.
Summary: Why Snape exposed Lupin to the school.
Spoilers: Third Book. Takes place after Sirius escapes with Buckbeak.
Rating: PG
Genre: Light Humor
Disclaimer: I wish I owned them.
Notes: read Ch. 22 when Harry & co. leave the Hospital Wing the next day to the end. Some stuff about Snape there is important.
Warnings: Bad writing and a side of Snape you've probably never seen (OOC in other words)

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Severus Snape fumed as he stomped back to his own office for the night. The thought that he had helped capture Sirius Black, most wanted man in the magic world, only to find out that the latter managed to escape from the Dementors' grasps infuriated him to no end.

And Lupin helped him! Severus mentally snarled. I knew he was up to no good, but did they listen to me? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

He knew of how close Lupin had been with Black since their Hogwarts days. To think that their friendship would not immediately rebuild after Black's escape was simply...well...unthinkable!

Severus slammed the door once he entered his chamber before pacing around restlessly. In his mind, he ran over the recent events from the past hour or so, coming upon a million questions rather than conclusions:

What was Dumbledore so amused about back in the hospital wing? How exactly did Potter manage to help Black escape? And why did Black risk receiving a kiss from the Dementors if he was trying to kill Potter? In fact, why didn't Black finish the students off back in the Shack? Why didn't Black finish me off in the Shack as well?

Why was Potter even bothering to listen to—why did Lupin even bother to explain—

What the hell happened back there anyway?

As his mind continued along this train wreck of thoughts, Severus came to a sudden halt. He sensed a pair of eyes boring holes into his cape and spun around rapidly to see who it was.

The intruder didn't appear visible at first, but the professor's acute eyes quickly caught site of a rodent-like creature perched on the sill of his open window. The creature jumped forward and bloated up into a monstrosity many times its original size...

Or at least that's what it looked like whenever Peter Pettigrew transformed back into his human form.

Severus blinked several times, stepping back and running into a table that gave him enough of a pain to prove that he was indeed awake. Maybe Black's insanity was contagious after all. It would've at least explained the bizarre situation back in the Shack.

"Ah, my fellow Dark Wizard, how have you been?" Peter opened his arms to Snape expectantly, amusement glinting in his eyes. "Are you so surprised to see me? Didn't know that I was on the side of our Dark Lord? Or is it because you also thought I was dead?"

The Potions Master's eyes remained wide as his brows furrowed. He was already dealing with enough questions tonight, so he didn't register everything Peter said. The sudden appearance of a supposedly dead former acquaintance/enemy did not help matters in the least. He wanted to say that the figure before him was a ghost, but both the animal and currently human forms were too solid for such a possibility.

"What are you doing here?" If it were conceivable, Severus squeaked his question, his voice forcing itself out in spite of its owner's newfound breathing problem.

"Why, my old friend, I am here to let you hear the good news early." With the grace of his animagus form, Peter trotted over to stand closer to his "colleague" and rubbed his hands conspiratorially. "The stupid Potters trusted me with their secret and look at the mess they've gotten all their loved ones into! I plan on seeking out our Master and reviving him. That'll teach them to underestimate my cunning, that will!"

Oh... thought Severus. Ooohh...MERLIN! IT WAS PETTIGREW ALL ALONG!!

The rat continued, "I am no longer their weak little tag-along! I need no pity! Now I have the upper hand, and I shall be greatly rewarded by our Master as soon as I find him! I'd like to see Lupin and Black hold their wands up to that." He wheezed out his laughter and remained oblivious to Severus' rather blatant facial expressions.

Yes, the professor thought to himself, I would definitely like to see Remus and Sirius hold their wands up to that, along with Albus, and Minerva, and Harry...

Pettigrew's lungs resembled dying balloons as another bout of laughter came over him. Meanwhile, the harsh revelation continually slapped the professor across his still-paling pallor, but it wasn't strong enough to prevent him from playing along. Gathering his expression into a credible look of conspiracy worthy of the Marauders, Severus responded with convincing malice. "Yes, you shall bring the Dark Lord back, and we shall help him take over the world!"

"Precisely! But until then, we must part ways, unfortunately!" Peter grinned a horrid grin that disgustingly stretched his face even wider. "In the meantime, I'd like you to perform a little favor, if you will?"

Severus' fingers dug deep into his palms under the shadows of his cloak as he answered, "Yes, as a favor from one servant of the Dark Lord to another."

Peter's smile widened. "Expose Professor Lupin as the monster he really is!" He put particularly bite on his ex-friend's name and designation. "Since the Dementors are taking care of Black, you could at least deal with the werewolf, so you'll benefit from this, too."

Making sure not to grit his teeth too much, Severus replied, "That I will do." Another thought suddenly occurred to him. "Would you care to stay and witness the disaster? I'm sure you'd find it very entertaining."

"No, I must be on my way, and it'll be enough pleasure for me to simply know that that loathsome dark creature will get what's coming to him," Pettigrew snarled. "For now, farewell!" With a final nod and a chuckle of glee, the animagus returned to the window, jumped upon the sill, transformed into his animagus form, and scampered off to an unknown destination.

The rat's movements were surprisingly quick, so the Potions Master barely had time to catch him. Instead, Severus waited a few seconds after his departure before receding slowly into the darkness. He surreptitiously opened his door, slinked out into the hallway, and bolted like a madman to the Headmaster's office.

-----

Now he knew a good chunk of what Remus, Albus, Harry, Hermione, and Ron presumably knew.

He also knew that Fawkes and Minerva in her animal form were currently scraping the Hogwarts grounds for the rat. Unfortunately, the loyal phoenix and Catwoman were the only creatures that could've been sent out for such a task. The real cats and owls would've devoured the rat instantly and the dementors would've sucked the human dry.

Surely the other teachers could go out, but then there was the issue of the dementors and a hungry werewolf, so that was no good.

Surely some of the students could go out...but that got complicated:

- Hufflepuffs: probably not brave enough
- Ravenclaws: probably not foolish enough
- Gryffindors: brave and foolish enough, but too useful for the Light
- Slytherins: mostly useless for the Light, relatively useful for Voldemort...bad, very bad idea...

And then of course there was the issue of the dementors and a werewolf and Albus' absolute opposition to the proposition.

It was just a thought.

So now there remained only one question: Just how the hell was he going to deal with this 'favor' to Pettigrew? He groaned out loud at his new predicament, knowing that the rat would blab about this favor to the Dark Lord should he find him.

It was too much to think upon after such a tumultuous evening, so Severus decided to retire to bed in hopes of finding a definitive answer in his sleep.

-----

The sun had been up for an hour and the Slytherin professor was already on his way to Albus' office again. He hadn't gotten much sleep during the night, having woken up to howling at various times. In his school days, Severus never heard the wolf at night, sans that one time in the tunnel. Despite his lack of experience, the Potions Master could translate the meaning behind the loud wailing of the wolf. It was the agony of loss that the creature was expressing, bereaved of its old friend due to one minor slip.

He could tell that the wolf was far away, but he wasn't sure if he had been the only one woken up by the unusual disturbance. In all of Hogwarts History the only werewolf ever on school grounds was Remus. The occurrence of anyone other than a select few catching onto this new nighttime development automatically meant trouble.

Hoping for the best to come out of the worst, Severus made his way up the spiraling staircase and opened the door to the Headmaster's office. He was surprised to find Remus sitting in the office, having returned to the castle so early after his transformation. The scabs, however, were no surprise: the wolf probably tried to maul itself out of misery.

"Morning, Severus," the latter professor greeted cordially.

"Morning, Remus, Headmaster," Severus replied civilly. The Headmaster nodded and indicated for him to sit in the other seat before him.

Once the Potions Master sat down, he began, "I believe I owe both of you apologies for my behavior last night."

"No need to, Severus. You simply had the wrong information, along with the rest of the wizarding world." Albus smiled kindly as he continued, "and that is why I'm glad you're here. I believe you had interrupted Remus at an inopportune time yesterday evening. He and I have talked a little already, and he'll be more than happy to let you in on the real story of what happened over a decade ago."

So Remus retold his tale to his old classmate, filling in the gaps to a story Severus had struggled putting together himself. The Slytherin professor heard everything from how the Potters switched their secret-keeper to the massacre when Peter transformed into a rat, leaving behind a single appendage.

After Remus had finished his story, Severus responded with a touch of remorse, "I feel as though I truly ought to apologize to you..." he hesitated as he swallowed his pride, "...and to Black."

The Gryffindor professor merely smiled as he shook his head. "There's really no need to. I understand your confusion – goodness knows I've already been in your position – and I'm not quite sure if you of all people really want to apologize to Sirius."

Severus gave a wry smile.

Remus continued, "Just the fact that you believe in his innocence is enough. Really, your previous judgments aren't much different from the conclusions Sirius and I ran to about one another before James and Lily's deaths. As you can understand, even back then it was hard to think that Peter was the spy among us." His throat tightened, "it only seemed likely it'd be either a clever dark creature or a member of a pure-blooded, Slytherin-ridden family. We should've known, but we didn't, so neither one of us can really blame you."

The Potions Master wringed his hands together both in response to the latter professor's confession and to his own fear of saying what he planned to say.

"Well?" the Headmaster prompted, causing Severus to jump in surprise.

"It's nothing."

"I don't think whatever happened last night was nothing. This is perhaps the one time you should heed what the enemy says, or at least give an explanation to your fellow faculty member."

Remus turned to him. "What is it?"

Severus gulped. "Pettigrew came into my office last night—"

"He was here? In the castle?!" The other professor looked like he was ready to pounce.

"Calm yourself, Remus," The Headmaster added kindly, "Last night I sent out Fawkes and Minerva to find him, though neither has reported back yet."

The DADA professor sank back into his chair in a less menacing and rather contemplative manner. "Yes, it seems that those are the only two who could possibly go after that traitor under the current conditions." His fingers tapped on the arm of his chair while he let his forehead rest in his free hand. "So, what did he say to you, Severus?"

"He's expecting me to expose your secret to the school. You can imagine the repercussions, I'm sure."

Remus nodded slightly. "Do it."

"What?! But...but I promised...I swore that I'd—"

Both Albus and Remus tried to hide their amusement at a flustered Severus – a very rare sight indeed. "I know," Remus replied with a well-crafted straight face, "I understand your objection, but you need to keep your cover. You're a very important participant in what looks to be the continuation of the war."

"But...but—"

"Look at it this way," the Gryffindor professor continued, "I survived the past twelve years thinking that one of my best friends was guilty of killing another two. I think I can get by even better knowing that my guilty friend was indeed innocent, though I'm extremely anxious to see his name cleared."

Severus looked back and forth between Remus and Albus, wondering if he should've just slept in that morning.

"It's his secret," the Headmaster finally interjected, "I think he should have every right to decide what he wants to do with it. I only forbid you from saying anything so long as he does. Chocolate Frog, anyone?"

The Potions Master accepted the offer and dejectedly reached for the candy jar to which his superior gestured. Remus surprisingly declined.

-----

The Slytherin house took the news quite well. With maddening glee, to be precise. Now they could tell their parents and praise the head of their house in the process. Word would definitely carry to Voldemort (if he returns), Severus thought with guilty comfort.

The other houses didn't take the taunting from the Slytherins as well. The house elves made sure to break out the plastic utensils for that morning's breakfast.

The Great Hall was in uproar during the early morning hours, and various Gryffondors shot dirty looks at the Potions Master throughout the meal. Professor Snape took no real offense at this; it was just as much as he expected for acting like a complete bastard.

There was no sign of Harry & co. The Slytherin professor guessed that they were still in the hospital wing or were sleeping in on this nice Saturday morning. Surely the three Gryffondors would hate him immeasurably for getting Remus sacked, but that wasn't new.

He figured he'd at least do the courtesy of seeing off his colleague that afternoon.

-----

Minerva and Fawkes returned empty-handed. Severus insisted that the search continue, but Remus reported that Pettigrew was already off Hogwarts grounds. The Potions professor suspected that the werewolf's knowledge had something to do with the funny piece of paper he confiscated from Harry that one night.

And Harry probably got it back after the professor resigned. Oh well.

Besides, now was the time to keep his eyes open for what might appear in a different kind of paper – the Daily Prophet in particular – anytime soon. It was the start of dangerous times; any day now he'd have to take another look at the disgusting mark on his arm and think about how he was going to maintain his liaisons.

As of right now, Severus had given his colleague a farewell acknowledgement with the expectation to see him soon enough when the time came. In the meantime, the Potions Master planned on making the life of a certain Gryffindor absolute hell. After all, he needed to keep up appearances.

-----

Professor Snape was more than mean enough to remove any cause for suspicion, though it was harder than usual. Every so often he had to fight off a twitch at the corner of his mouth, the effort causing his hands to clench convulsively. There was no way he was going to break into a smile at the sight of Harry (but even if he did the Gryffindor would've been frightened and/or incredulous anyway).

There was the minor question of whether or not he should flunk Harry out of Potions, especially considering that the Gryffindor in actuality did not flunk the exam. Figuring that the teen had already been through enough his third year, the professor refrained from the dastardly deed. Hopefully his "least favorite" student will suspect that Dumbledore had something to do with this aberration.

At least the school year was over, so Severus had some time to get himself together for the follow year. He had a bad feeling about the coming term, but bad things tend to happen when one merrily assigns an impossible amount of homework over the summer.

A week had passed since school ended for the summer. That evening, Severus made a few mental notes to do something about that twitching muscle near his lips and to put selective wards around his new mousetraps so that they would stop snapping at his robes. At least his normal sleeping pattern returned after suffering the past few weeks with nightmares of Voldemort and an unidentified rat posse jumping out of his closet...

Anyway, having made sure that his daily affairs were in order, Severus tucked himself in bed and slipped effortlessly into sleep, knowing that he made his students' lives miserable and that he really wasn't all that bad of a guy.

The End.