Title: The (Fairy) Godfather.
Author: Antidisestablishmentarianist / Kitty-kitty
Disclaimer: Not mine. All characters belong to JK Rowling, Warner Bros.
Scholastic, Bloomsbury and Raincoat books.
Rating: PG for cross-dressing poor Severus.
Author Notes: It's incredibly short, so I'm uploading it four days early. You
can expect another chapter on Friday that's muuuch longer. THANK YOU REVIEWERS!
Cat, I doubt it'd make much of a difference to Hermione anyway. On-a-rainy-day,
… you'd be surprised how many people would look much better as a frog XD, Adele,
you can stop anxiously awaiting now o.o;; When you say, 'come to terms' …
um… should I be scared? CastusAlbuscor that's a very personal remark o.o
my end is not funny – oh. Oh. The story. Right. Sweetbriar, .
. all fairy godmothers have to do it story-style, that's what they're
there for .;; Severus is just showing off to make Minerva feel inferior. Not
that it's working. Thanks guys!
Chapter Three
And Then There Were Two
"He has not," Hermione grumbled, "personally, I think you're all being horrible to him lately."
"We're always horrible to him, 'Mione, that's the point. We're giving what we get," said Harry.
"Look, Hermione, I bumped into him in the corridor and he actually apologized," Ron reasoned, as though being polite was something that merited a stay in a nice warm room with padded walls and stylish straitjackets (although, Hermione thought, in Ron's mind it probably is.) "AND!" he continued, dropping his voice. Harry, Neville and Ginny leaned in close to hear. Hermione sniffed and moved away.
"... I heard him mumbling. About dresses. Pink ones. With... schiffin," said Ron.
"Oooh," said Neville and Harry. "Schiffin. That proves it."
"He must be trying to poison someone with it. That schiffin stuff is lethal," Ron said.
"Chiffon," Hermione corrected him absently, overhearing. "It's a material. It's something like what they make ballet tutus from."
Neville blushed. Hermione could practically hear the gears in his mind clicking into place as the mental image of Snape in a pink dress made of chiffon began to assemble itself in his head. Harry pushed his porridge away from him.
Ginny giggled, "the man has no taste in dresses whatsoever," she said, watching the boys faces closely, "I mean, people don't actually wear chiffon nowadays except on stage. What's in, I think, is thin material. Stuff that's nearly see-through."
Ron swallowed the mouthful of sausage and, nonplussed by his collegues various states of disgust, mirth and nausea, began to shovel scrambled eggs into his mouth. Hermione shook her head and patted a choking Neville on the back.
"Ginny, did you have to do that?" she asked wearily.
"I could have brought up the story of the 'Emporer's New Clothes'" Ginny said helpfully. Ron went puce, swallowed the eggs and kept his eyes firmly on his plate. Every time they strayed even the nearest bit toward the teachers table, he'd whimper a little and call them home, shaking a little. Harry simply put his head into his food and sighed.
At the staff table, oblivious to the Gryffindor's scandalous gossip concerning his love life, Severus leaned past Minerva, wand in hand. Under his breath, he whispered 'bippity, boppity, boo,' and promptly went an odd shade of mauve.
And there were two, because there was always the possibility that one Fairy Godmother could be supporting the villain of the story. The children had to get out of the scary forest and back to their parents. The prince had to marry the princess. Most importantly, they all had to live happily ever after. The villain must never win.
At the Ravenclaw table, two pale blue eyes snapped open at the sound of those words. "I wonder if he knows he has to wear the pink pouf sleeved chiffon dress for the wand to work," said Luna Lovegood mistily.
Cho gave her an odd look.
"Just wondering," Luna shrugged.