Title: The (Fairy) Godfather
Author: Antidisestablishmentarianist / Kitty-kitty
Disclaimer: Not mine. All characters belong to JK Rowling, Warner Bros.
Scholastic, Bloomsbury and Raincoat books.
Rating: PG for cross-dressing poor Severus.
Author Notes: Wow, it's finished! All of you may now feel free to rant about how utterly AWFUL an ending that was… in a review, please, if I can get the reviews up to a hundred seeing as this is the last chapter, I'll be happy as a pig in muck. Thanks, everyone, for your encouragement. If you want more of Luna, there will be some… er, eventually. In the meantime, I recommend Moriah's fiction. I'm putting a nice link here so you can all
See? Click! Please? It'd make her happy. She doesn't get half the attention she deserves… oh, one more thing. I've been picturing this fiction like an anime the entire way through, so to get the full effect, I recommend downloading 'Tetenko Maimai' while reading the last bit. Sort of an ending theme. ;;
Chapter Twelve (all is done)The Good GodmotherAgainst his better judgement, Severus was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, gods weren't the insufferable gits their publicity claimed them to be.
Well, actually... he was thinking that the gods had to, in fact, all be goddesses. They were moody, stubborn, and occasionally threw hot coffee over him (what Severus wasn't to know that Fred and George had hung out of windows overlooking the courtyard for hours with cups of coffee just waiting for a likely looking teacher to pass by. They'd done him a favour. He'd washed his hair later that day.). However, in three quarters of the month, they weren't half bad.
It was the day of the Yule Ball, and things were looking better. After looking it up, he'd found that Weasley's affliction was due to wear off today and through Molly had found out that Ronald was actually not a bad dancer. He had five years of dancing lessons under his belt. Hermione was no-where to be seen, but neither was Crookshanks and Luna seemed to be slightly troubled in Potions earlier that day.
So, here sat Severus, ten minutes before the Yule Ball was declared officially ... a Yule Ball... and not just a slightly decorated Great Hall. He was totally pleased with himself, so much so that he swung his feet up onto a nearby footstool.
"Owch! Severus!"
"... Sorry, Flitwick. Thought you were a footstool."
Flitwick pouted at him from beneath his white curly hair and scuttled off to find something to make him look less garden-gnome-ish. Meanwhile, Severus looked at the hall with his best 'this is so tacky' expression and glared at any first year who even dared to glance in his direction or make comment on the candy-floss pink pouf dress he'd been forced into by Minerva. He'd buttoned his robes over them but there were still bright pink gaps.
"It's your last night in this story as a Fairy Godperson, Severus, so you're going to look the part when you lose - er... whether you win or lose," Minerva's voice echoed in his mind.
"Oh, shut up," he said.
"What?" asked Sinistra reproachfully. "I was only comforting poor Filius. It's your own fault if you insist on using him as a footstool. Hmph!"
Dumbledore chuckled, "is there something on your mind, Severus?"
Severus muttered something unrepeatable to himself that earned himself a slap from Sinistra, a 'well I never!' from Sprout and a kick from Flitwick that wasn't enough to actually hurt, but the feeling was there.
"Even so," said Dumbledore, continuing in a vaguely amused tangent as though Severus had said nothing, "I think pink suits you. It highlights the brown in your eyes. Oh, here comes Miss Lovegood... goodness... don't look now, Severus, it seems both Miss Lovegood and yourself have chosen the same clothes."
Luna Lovegood, who was making a bee-line for him in a dress that could have doubled as a float in a Powerpuff Girls Patrick's Day Parade, was followed closely by Minerva. The two of them were giggling over something with knowing looks on their faces that was apparently hereditory among women everywhere. Behind them, Severus could see Hermione and Crookshanks laughing away with them.
"Hello, Severus!" said Minerva gaily as the music started up in the background. Severus caught a glimpse of the couple in question bobbing off towards the dance floor before the dress from hell and the owner of said dress blocked his view.
"How are you, Professor Snape? Isn't the setting gorgeous? I think it's terribly romantic," said Luna deliberately. Minerva's knowing smile widened almost threateningly.
"It looks like someone took a bite out of Japan at Christmas and spat it out in the middle of Scotland," replied Severus. "The decor is a mess, the tinsel's hung wherever the room doesn't seem sparkly enough and the imps Flitwick's enchanted to sing are in fact tangled in two girls hair at the moment."
"Keep that positive attitude, Severus," said Minerva, sitting down between the Potions Master and Dumbledore with a happy smile. "You'll need it after the amount of homework I've let pile up."
"Oh, look," said Severus offhandedly, "it's Ronald Weasley. It is nice to see him up and about, isn't it?"
Minerva froze and looked across the room, utterly horrified at the mere thought that Luna's plan could be spoilt. However, the Ravenclaw school girl still stood in front of Severus, beaming happily to herself as she twirled her pasta-star wand through her fingers. The beam quickly slipped off her face when Severus caught her eye and smiled back.
"I wonder how Hermione is faring with 'Critch'. I don't remember hearing about a student named Critch before. It was a bit alarming when he turned up at class today," said Severus. Luna looked hurriedly back at the cat, as if to assure herself that he still existed.
"Professor Snape!" she said suddenly. Her voice rose to a near-squeak that was reminiscent of a nervous Pettigrew, "Professor Snape, I always notice that you never dance at these balls and such. Why don't you dance with me?"
"What?" asked Severus, recoiling.
"I think that's a wonderful idea!" said Minerva.
"I agree!" said Dumbledore.
"Oh, Severus, don't be such a spoil sport," squeaked tiny Professor Flitwick.
"Woo! Severus, a ladies man after all! They do say that girls go for older men!" said Sprout, punching Severus on the shoulder and chuckling to herself. "Good man, go to it!"
"It's not against the rules," drawled Sinistra, looking thrilled, "in fact, there used to be a tradition of it."
"Go on, Severus," said Vector jovially. She gave him a shove forward onto the dance floor, and Severus found himself hanging about in inch from the ground with his arm in Luna's firm grip.
"Whoops, you nearly tripped," she said, pulling him to his feet again. "Good thing Fairy Godmothers come with built in dancing skills, isn't it?"
Severus found his feet moving of his own accord, and resisted the urge to kill Luna there and then. She had a death grip on one of his hands and was pushing him so that what he was doing vaguely resembled actual dancing. A few wolf whistles emerged from the direction of a large cluster of Slytherins on the left side of the hall.
"Nott! Parkinson! Detention!" he shouted.
Luna giggled to herself, "well. Tonight's the night! How does it feel to lose?" She asked, maintaining that misty gaze of hers for the eyes of the surrounding students. Severus cast a quick glance towards Hermione and Crookshanks, waiting for the right moment, before replying in a quieter voice than usual...
... "Lovegood, I have finally grasped just what makes a Fairy Godmother a good one," he said. "The Good Fairy Godmother ... is the one that wins!" With that, a scream issued from Hermione as Critch fell to the floor, curled into a heap and howled with pain as his muscles contorted and shrunk, his bones caved in, arched and changed shape and his skin sprouted fur. The entire student body turned to stare as a rounded tom-cat buried under a heap of robes looked malevolantly at them.
"Crookshanks!" breathed Hermione.
"Rowr," replied the cat, getting up and rubbing against her legs before retreating into the sea of legs around him.
"... right," whispered Luna. "You're right. But you haven't won yet!"
"Oh, haven't I?" asked Severus. Hermione sighed, and put her hand to her forehand, swaying gently. Right on cue, Ron pushed through the crowd and stood beside her, ready to speak his first line for seven chapters, and caught her as she fainted.
"Hermione?" he said nervously.
"... what did you do?!" asked Luna.
"I let things happen," said Severus. "The spell on the feline from hell was due to wear off yesterday. You cured Weasley and everything just fell into place. Well, Lovegood, if you don't mind, I've got homework to give to Minerva."
With that, he wrenched his hand out of her grip and set off towards the teachers table with his 'I see all, I know all' expression to make Minerva McGonagall's life just that little bit harder. As he did, Luna shook her head and stared after him.
"That's a good Fairy Godmother," she murmured.
There once lived a young lady by the name of Hermione, a gifted witch at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hermione had no time for love, and was so often buried in books that she didn't realize that someone very close to her loved her very much. One day, her Fairy Godfather decided to take matters into his own hands and attempted to bring the two together – he cast a spell on Hermione's young man that made him fall ill in the hope that Hermione would finally notice him. However, an evil witch called Luna wouldn't let this happen. She wanted the young man, Ronald, all to herself and thwarted the Godfather at every turn – sending another handsome suitor to Hermione and even turning the girl's own pet cat into a man and casting a love spell between the two.
Eventually, the Godfather decided to wait; at a Yule Ball Hermione was attending, he removed the spell from the pet cat so that he no longer looked human and sent the recovered Ronald to her. Just as Hermione fainted from the shock of it all, Ronald caught her in his arms and called her name.
For a mere second, Hermione opened her eyes at the sound of her name…
… and fell in love.
The End.