A/N- Thank you time. Thanks nienna-yavetil and Guardian of the Balance. And for all of you other readers out there please review. Also I have another story on ff.net its called Misplaced. Please read it because the plot bunnies and my muse are getting quite mad and are threatening to turn carnivore on me. I really don't want to be eaten. Oh, and I don't own LOtR or any of its characters. My friends as far as I know still own themselves since slavery is illegal. Now on with the story.
Chapter 3
All Hail King Matt ?
I groaned very loudly. The floor was not as giving and comfy as I once thought. "She is waking," a strange voice said.
"What would you have us do with her King Matt ?"
It was another strange voice. What did they mean do with me ? That just didn't sound right. I most certainly didn't want to be mol---KING MATT ?! "Let her get up ya dorks !"
"King Matt ? Oh that is wrong on so many levels."
"Shut up, Tina."
Legolas helped me up and I looked to the men who were obviously no longer holding Matt prisoner. "Well, hello handsome and handsomer."
"I know aren't they," Matt gushed.
Before you even ask yes Matt is and he is very proud of it thank you very much.
"And who are you," I asked, completely ignoring Matt, as usual.
"Aragorn, heir to Isildur, King of Gondor."
"Boromir, son of Denethor, steward of Gondor. And, Aragorn, need I remind you that you haven't claimed the throne yet. So you are the future king of Gondor."
"Thank you for the correction. How many times is that now ? A million ?"
I looked away from the bickering couple back to Matt ",How in hades did you convice them you were king ?"
"Well, they broke down the bathroom door. Which I'm sure my parent's will kill me for. I'll just blame you. Anywho, they had me cornered. They asked who I was. I said Matt. They asked if I was ruler of this strange land. I said yes. Its amazin' what you'll say when you have very sharp, very big, knives pokin' you in the chest."
I held my head, which was pulsing to Matt's spoken rhythm. "Oh ! Head. Explode ! Go splat."
"Aw, poor baby." Somehow I don't think Matt really meant that. "Sit on the couch and I'll get something to make it better."
"Hurry," I called, falling onto the couch. "Mandy and Betsy are on their way to my house with more of these guys."
"There are more ?"
I could almost see Matt's eyes glinting as evil (and just plain wrong) thoughts ran through his mind.
"Whatever you're thinkin' Matt, just stop. Unless you want me to skewer you."
"If you were Orlando Bloom I would seriously consider it."
Leave it to Matt to turn a threat into a proposition.
"King Matt...," Boromir began.
"Stop calling him that."
Matt brought me the much needed advil and some water. I took two then to be safe I swallowed ten more. Oh, my liver must really hate me by now. Then we left. Legolas and Haldir were easy enough to get back into the VW. Aragorn and Boromir on the other hand took a little more convincing. I took each one, whispering in great detail, what Matt was actually thinking about doing to them. That seemed to work. They scrambled very ungracefully into the vehicle only too happy to get as far away from the fake king as possible. Before you go getting all defensive over how I'm treating Matt let me explain our relationship. I'll use characters from Will & Grace. He's Jack. I'm Karen. And we've been best friends since like sixth grade. Does that help ?
Matt climbed into the passenger's seat beside me. He was still grinning wickedly with half formulated plans running through his mind. Oh, this was going to be fun. I love watching other people being tortured. That means the torturer would leave me alone.
(A/N- My husband informed me there is no such thing as a minibus that its actually called a microbus. And I ask what is the difference ? He's also insisting that since this story has my friends in it that he should be in it since we met in college. Aaaarrrggghhh ! Fame seekers ! So be prepared to see my hubby (though we won't be married in the story) in future chapters if I feel like being nice. Now for the preview of the next chappie.
Chapter 4- Brainwashing by Corporate Coffee Producing Monopolies
Now Please review. Go on push the button. I know you're like me. You can't resist pressing little buttons to see what they do. Go on. Push it.
Chapter 3
All Hail King Matt ?
I groaned very loudly. The floor was not as giving and comfy as I once thought. "She is waking," a strange voice said.
"What would you have us do with her King Matt ?"
It was another strange voice. What did they mean do with me ? That just didn't sound right. I most certainly didn't want to be mol---KING MATT ?! "Let her get up ya dorks !"
"King Matt ? Oh that is wrong on so many levels."
"Shut up, Tina."
Legolas helped me up and I looked to the men who were obviously no longer holding Matt prisoner. "Well, hello handsome and handsomer."
"I know aren't they," Matt gushed.
Before you even ask yes Matt is and he is very proud of it thank you very much.
"And who are you," I asked, completely ignoring Matt, as usual.
"Aragorn, heir to Isildur, King of Gondor."
"Boromir, son of Denethor, steward of Gondor. And, Aragorn, need I remind you that you haven't claimed the throne yet. So you are the future king of Gondor."
"Thank you for the correction. How many times is that now ? A million ?"
I looked away from the bickering couple back to Matt ",How in hades did you convice them you were king ?"
"Well, they broke down the bathroom door. Which I'm sure my parent's will kill me for. I'll just blame you. Anywho, they had me cornered. They asked who I was. I said Matt. They asked if I was ruler of this strange land. I said yes. Its amazin' what you'll say when you have very sharp, very big, knives pokin' you in the chest."
I held my head, which was pulsing to Matt's spoken rhythm. "Oh ! Head. Explode ! Go splat."
"Aw, poor baby." Somehow I don't think Matt really meant that. "Sit on the couch and I'll get something to make it better."
"Hurry," I called, falling onto the couch. "Mandy and Betsy are on their way to my house with more of these guys."
"There are more ?"
I could almost see Matt's eyes glinting as evil (and just plain wrong) thoughts ran through his mind.
"Whatever you're thinkin' Matt, just stop. Unless you want me to skewer you."
"If you were Orlando Bloom I would seriously consider it."
Leave it to Matt to turn a threat into a proposition.
"King Matt...," Boromir began.
"Stop calling him that."
Matt brought me the much needed advil and some water. I took two then to be safe I swallowed ten more. Oh, my liver must really hate me by now. Then we left. Legolas and Haldir were easy enough to get back into the VW. Aragorn and Boromir on the other hand took a little more convincing. I took each one, whispering in great detail, what Matt was actually thinking about doing to them. That seemed to work. They scrambled very ungracefully into the vehicle only too happy to get as far away from the fake king as possible. Before you go getting all defensive over how I'm treating Matt let me explain our relationship. I'll use characters from Will & Grace. He's Jack. I'm Karen. And we've been best friends since like sixth grade. Does that help ?
Matt climbed into the passenger's seat beside me. He was still grinning wickedly with half formulated plans running through his mind. Oh, this was going to be fun. I love watching other people being tortured. That means the torturer would leave me alone.
(A/N- My husband informed me there is no such thing as a minibus that its actually called a microbus. And I ask what is the difference ? He's also insisting that since this story has my friends in it that he should be in it since we met in college. Aaaarrrggghhh ! Fame seekers ! So be prepared to see my hubby (though we won't be married in the story) in future chapters if I feel like being nice. Now for the preview of the next chappie.
Chapter 4- Brainwashing by Corporate Coffee Producing Monopolies
Now Please review. Go on push the button. I know you're like me. You can't resist pressing little buttons to see what they do. Go on. Push it.