Warnings: implied shonen ai, AU

Pairings: IrvinexSquall (still)

Comments: It starts out with Irvine's POV or monologue thingy then goes into third person then back to Irvine's POV again. Just so you don't get confused. I dun normally do stories like this. The title's better now!

Author Comments: Well, it continues becoming a three part trilogy. I figured it might as well make it a mini series So why the heck not? Sorry for like confusions as things have disappeared that I didn't know had disappeared on me. I'm hoping the issues will be resolved soon.

Extra note: thingies in bold italics = present Squall's dialogue

Fate Conspiring: I'm All Alone

I remember…very little of my past, my time since joining Balamb spent training with the gunblade and GF. But I knew my past was best left forgotten for its tragediennes. I didn't want to remember it. It wasn't like I had friends back then, or anyone. Matron took care of me, yes, but she left too. Then we ended up having to fight her, as Sorceress Edea. It wasn't comforting but we had no choice. It was either her or us. I remember a little bit about when I first came to Balamb. I had been given many choices on types of weapons I could choose to master. Of them all I chose the gunblade. Cid had told me it was the most difficult to learn and even gave me the option of change weapons. But I told him the gunblade…of course Seifer wanted to best me in it so he chose it too.

I remember…my first experience with a GF. When I junctioned it on me and began the summoning, it was a beginning to many things. And at the same time the loss of something considered important. I didn't consider it important, I didn't even consider myself all that important. Memories…who cared? They weren't there to help, only to block out your thoughts in the middle of a battle. Still, as I started slowly seeing the other members one by one I felt a feeling as though I'd known them from somewhere before…but I couldn't remember then. Maybe we really were meant to be together, but I didn't think so. I couldn't stand those at the garden, always nagging, following around behind me, complaining, saying we should do something? Why do they keep coming to me for answers?! I don't know anything! I'm just…average…. I'm not a leader, I don't even want to be a leader. I'm SeeD. I just follow orders, that's all. The day I was told I was the new leader for Balamb truly shocked me. How dare he even say that without looking to my consent? Did I get asked questions? Was this an order under him to take his place? This isn't my job…. Will everyone just shut up and stop asking me! I don't know!

I remember something else vaguely now…from my past…I think it has to do with Irvine but I'm not sure. It was back at Edea's…Matron's orphanage on the beach. I think it was before I was set to leave with Seifer to the garden, our new home. It would be the next morning when I'd leave but you dragged me out while everyone else was sleeping………

Moonlight shined on the water of ocean, giving an eerie but beautiful scenery. The stars shined brightly in the sky and reflected in the water, a midnight twilight. Two young children stood in the sand standing in front of each other, one giving a cheeky little grin as the other just stared at him in boredom.

"Why did you drag me out here?" Young Squall folded his arms over his chest staring at the slightly taller boy in front of him.

"Well like, this is our last time seeing each other for a while. So I figured we'd spend some time together before you leave tomorrow." Irvine smiled and walked past him, feet sinking into the sand with each step.

Yeah, actually you did start trying to spend more time with me, after everyone else had left. Maybe it was because you were bored with nothing else to do.

"Why didn't you just ask Seifer?" Squall turned around and started off after him, being slightly more cautious than the other in his steps. A sand crab had bitten him once when he was here, he'd rather not go through that experience again.

It hurt like hell.

"Ah, Seifer's just a boring jerk. I just like you more." Irvine again stopped and turned around looking at him then tilting his head to the side. "I see you still have that necklace I gave you."

Squall blinked then looked down at the taletell chain around his neck and leading down into his shirt.

"Yeah, so what? It was a nice necklace, that's all."

You always were observant…why was it I couldn't remember you at all from that time?

"Just making sure. Hey, have you been inside the lighthouse yet?" Squall just shook his head to Irvine's question. Matron had forbidden them from going into the lighthouse because it wasn't completely stable so it was kind of dangerous. "Good! Let's go there then!"

"But…"

"It's ok, we'll come back before Matron and the others even wake up." Squall nodded slightly. "Ok, race you!" Irvine was gone before he'd even finished the words running off. Squall shifted some before he finally relented and ran off after him.

We'd make it back before Matron even knew we were gone. That was what you'd said. Instead we fell asleep and ended up getting into trouble anyway…but that night wasn't so bad…I learned I wasn't completely alone.

"Hey Squall?" Irvine laid on his back in the lighthouse staring up through the glass opening at the top towards the stars and the dark night and being swallowed up in it, his hands behind his head.

"Hm?" Squall looked over at him, his form also in a simpler comfort as he relaxed, something he hadn't done since Ellone was taken away from him.

"You won't forget me, right? I don't like the idea of being alone." Irvine glanced over at him then back up at the sky as he took a deep breath. "All of my friends are leaving so I just don't want to be forgotten."

"Why all of this all of a sudden?" Squall lifted a brow slightly and sat up wrapping his arms around his knees.

"Ah nothing, forget about it. It's just me rambling," Irvine finished up rolling onto his side and closing his eyes.

I did forget. It was the fault of the GF…and my fault for wanting to forget the past. I forgot how alone we all could become. Even when you did your act on the train trying to swoon Selphie and Rinoa…maybe that was no act. I remember your words then, a sharp shooter is always a loner. And that time you were preparing to shoot the sorceress…you were very alone. I took it for concentration, I didn't want to think that someone else could be just like me. Then there was Rinoa… I wondered often why everyone kept trying to get her and me together. They acted as though I was oblivious to their whole plot. Did anyone even ask if I liked her? They just took things into assumption to the point that I started to actually believe I was in love with her. I thought I had a purpose in living, like I was supposed to protect her. All of it was a lie, a lie that was exposed the moment her lips touched mine. I believe now…that it's not meant to be. I'm not supposed to be with people because I'm not like others.

I was meant to be alone….

The End

That's the second of the second trilogy, Squall's POV. The next will be combination. I hope this wasn't too dorky since I only recently considered even doing it. Um…not much to say. See you next time around.