Disclaimer: I don't own this you know. Most unfortunate that.
This chapter was difficult to write. The only relationship I condone in this story is Harry and Draco, but I thought this would be a good twist.
Chapter 4, in which Harry gains the trust of an unexpected.
Most of my evening was spent finishing homework by the fire surrounded by my fellow Gryffindors. I hadn't felt so safe in ages. This afternoon had surprised me... I had no idea that so many boys were in the same unfortunate position. Now that Hagrid had taken off they were suddenly able to talk about their experiences. The girls were gathering round us looking concerned and horrified as we told our tales.
It appeared that Hagrid had the same rape routine for each of his victims; sometimes he varied it if the mood took him. I told my fellow Hagrid victims of my experience; how angry I was that Hagrid had taken my virginity anally. They were all very sympathetic.
Parvati and Lavender Brown walked over to us, Lavender Brown sat on the arm of Dean Thomas' chair and whispered something in his ear. Dean started giggling, I thought that was a bit weird, Dean giggling, but was distracted by Parvati blushing furiously and yelling at them to shut up. I grinned and settled happily in my arm-chair, groaning only slightly at the sight of the roll of parchment left to fill on Temperature Altering Charms.
Still, I was traumatised. I went to the library to be alone, oh, and to research Grindlewald for Defence Against the Dark Arts. I thought of this thing with Hagrid, of Sirius' death, of Ron and Hermione leaving me... I buried my head in my hands, beyond crying. Suddenly I felt a comforting hand draped across my shoulders, I looked up into beautiful eyes to see Parvati sitting next to me looking sympathetic.
"I know that you need some alone time, Harry, but I thought you might appreciate someone just being around..."
I looked at her and murmured my thanks. I hadn't paid much attention to her since the Yule Ball, I wondered if she remembered what an idiot I had been. She smiled at me comfortingly and took the books from her bag. We spent the next hour studying in silence. It wasn't at all uncomfortable and I was happy just to have someone near me without them trying to understand me.
Time ticked by and I started to sense her eyes on me. Suddenly she spoke.
"I think you were really brave, standing up to Hagrid like that." She placed her hand on my leg, just above my knee. I noticed that it was slender and dainty. My mind went numb with the shock. She was staring into my eyes, lips slightly parted. She said
"I've been wanting to talk to you for ever so long, Harry."
I couldn't look her in the eye.
"I'm glad we're alone together now," she continued, "we can express ourselves freely."
I began to feel slightly uncomfortable.
"Harry," she said, "Harry..."
I didn't know what she was about to say and then she came out with it.
"I love you Harry Potter."
Then everything went blurry, thousands of thoughts raced through my head. My heart pounded in my chest and I felt delirious. I felt too hot; my palms perspired and my senses were unbalanced. Everything in my head whirred faster and faster – I thought I was about to faint – I couldn't breathe, what was happening to me? My head was throbbing, throbbing, throbbing...
And then nothing, a vacuum, I felt nothing, I saw nothing, I felt light and blissful. Then in a vision through the darkness I saw Hagrid. I shook my head, the blurred vision of Hagrid disintegrated. I looked up at Parvati who was still holding me, looking concerned. "Harry, are you okay?" I smiled at her, and nodded. She looked at me, she looked so soft, so vulnerable. I couldn't hurt her after what she'd just told me. Plucking up the courage from deep within, even though I knew the answer already, I said "Parvati, do you wanna go out with me?" She laughed and fell into my arms. She held my face in both hands and kissed me full on the lips. The kiss grew deeper. Eventually we broke apart. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar blonde running from the library. I wondered why he hadn't come to talk to me. I supposed he was late for a lesson, or something like that. I pushed the thought away, I seemed to be doing that a lot when it came to Draco, and turned to Parvati.
"Shall we head up to the common room and brave everyone else?" She laughed and nodded. We strolled all the way back to the common room holding hands, with her head resting on my shoulders. It was comfortable. We climbed through the portrait hole and when Lavender, Seamus, Neville and Dean spotted us together they cheered. I grinned, and called to them "Hey guys, we have something to tell you" They grinned too, there was lots of grinning going on that night. "We know mate!" Dean giggled. "Lavender told us as soon as she found out Parvati liked you! We've been waiting for you two to get back from the library. Parvati went with a mission. It looks like it was accomplished!" Parvati sniffed "I'll have you know, Mr. Thomas, Harry asked ME out." She glanced at me affectionately, I smiled back at her.
I awoke, bathed in sweat looking around to make sure I wasn't still dreaming. No there was Neville fast asleep on his back snoring quietly. Seamus murmuring, and whimpering, lost in a world of his own. It was still dark, fumbling for my glasses, my dorm came in to focus, it was 3.42 am.
I shivered, in an invisible breeze, I wouldn't get back to sleep again tonight. Quietly I slid out of my comforting bed on to the cold hard stone floor. I crept towards the door, not wanting to arouse the others; I slowly pulled the heavy old door open and began down the narrow flight of stairs a sleepwalker in a conscious state. Gratefully I sank in to the warmth and darkness of the common room, contemplating what had aroused my insomnia. Yes I remembered, a jigsaw of muddled scenes filled my head I sank back in to the comfort of the old armchair staring in to the dying embers.
The mirrored reflection stared out unknowing, unseeing a tall boy, mysterious green eyes, black dishevelled hair, an assortment of ill fitting muggle clothes hid his thin frame. I blinked, the mirror image of myself stared back at me. Suddenly out of the smoky background of the mirrored surface, a distorted shape was growing, forming becoming clearer. Cautiously I stepped backwards. Blonde hair, silver steel eyes, a blonde eyebrow arched, watched me I noted his expression he wasn't wearing his usual smugness instead... I felt an odd sensation begin to occur starting in my stomach, spreading to the tips of my fingers. The figure of Malfoy came to stand behind me I gasped and turned. I looked deep in to his masked eyes. I felt like an animal trapped in the glare of a headlight. His eyes drew me I felt...magnetised, I tried to ask what he was doing but no words escaped my lips. I felt a warm hand caress my cheek, our lips just brushed and then...
Then the window banged, snapping me out of my reverie.
I went down to breakfast and plonked myself down next to Parvati. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled lovingly. I could feel Draco's gaze searching my face. I avoided his eyes struggling to not come in to contact with his steely stare. "Harry...? Harry...." Parvati repeated louder. "What...Yes?" "Harry what is wrong with you? You look like you haven't had a wink of sleep all night? And you aren't touching your food." Parvati sounded exasperated. Hearing her tone I forced a smile on my grim features. "Come on, silly boy, if you aren't going to eat anything lets, get going to charms." She said in a playful tone. We stood up to leave. Parvati slid her hand in to my perspiring palm and gave me a reassuring smile. I could still feel Draco's gaze on the back of my neck. I was ashamed to look at him and I didn't know why. I casually strolled from the hall and slipped my arm around Parvati's slim waist as we began the journey to Flitwick's classroom. Through charms, herbology and lastly divination I sat, cast in to an unshiftable gloom. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. I was actually beginning to love Parvati. Yet as I had sat through lunch, on catching Draco's eye, I had felt the same familiar sensation settle in the pit of my stomach, the same, inexplicable shame.
Author's Notes: I'm so sorry! Harry is going through denial, and he's doesn't realise what he's doing to Draco and Parvati is so lovely to him, and trust! He's got people's trust! Poor boy.
And poor Draco! I think that he's realised that there are "sparks." And he's come to terms with his feelings, he's awfully mature. He may have even gone to the library to talk to Harry, and then he sees him kissing Parvati, and he runs because he now thinks that Harry doesn't feel the same way, and the sparks weren't both ways. He's disgusted at himself, he's come to terms with this and then he's let down. Poor Draco! I don't want to do this to him!
Thanks to my reviewers:
Dead yet a love sick puppy: My first loyal reader and reviewer! Thank you so much. You've commented on every chapter so far, you have my eternal gratitude etc. You're right not to feel sorry for Hagrid, he's horrible here. And Harry is certainly stubborn in his denial!
Sun-sun kat: I'm glad you think this is good work :D I do hope to keep it up.
TJ Falcos: Thanks very much. That comment's been really boosting. It's because of comments like this that I plan to keep up any work.
Beloved: I know, it's horrible! You all probably think me terribly twisted, but this was the most traumatising, disturbing thing I could think of that was remotely within the realms of common decency. Although it's certainly pushing the boundaries.
Inylan: Tut tut! Yes, this certainly does seem like it's going to be long! I have a whole story mapped out and it's not simple.
Coty Wiley: Thank you very much, I'm glad you think I'm an awesome writer.
This chapter was difficult to write. The only relationship I condone in this story is Harry and Draco, but I thought this would be a good twist.
Chapter 4, in which Harry gains the trust of an unexpected.
Most of my evening was spent finishing homework by the fire surrounded by my fellow Gryffindors. I hadn't felt so safe in ages. This afternoon had surprised me... I had no idea that so many boys were in the same unfortunate position. Now that Hagrid had taken off they were suddenly able to talk about their experiences. The girls were gathering round us looking concerned and horrified as we told our tales.
It appeared that Hagrid had the same rape routine for each of his victims; sometimes he varied it if the mood took him. I told my fellow Hagrid victims of my experience; how angry I was that Hagrid had taken my virginity anally. They were all very sympathetic.
Parvati and Lavender Brown walked over to us, Lavender Brown sat on the arm of Dean Thomas' chair and whispered something in his ear. Dean started giggling, I thought that was a bit weird, Dean giggling, but was distracted by Parvati blushing furiously and yelling at them to shut up. I grinned and settled happily in my arm-chair, groaning only slightly at the sight of the roll of parchment left to fill on Temperature Altering Charms.
Still, I was traumatised. I went to the library to be alone, oh, and to research Grindlewald for Defence Against the Dark Arts. I thought of this thing with Hagrid, of Sirius' death, of Ron and Hermione leaving me... I buried my head in my hands, beyond crying. Suddenly I felt a comforting hand draped across my shoulders, I looked up into beautiful eyes to see Parvati sitting next to me looking sympathetic.
"I know that you need some alone time, Harry, but I thought you might appreciate someone just being around..."
I looked at her and murmured my thanks. I hadn't paid much attention to her since the Yule Ball, I wondered if she remembered what an idiot I had been. She smiled at me comfortingly and took the books from her bag. We spent the next hour studying in silence. It wasn't at all uncomfortable and I was happy just to have someone near me without them trying to understand me.
Time ticked by and I started to sense her eyes on me. Suddenly she spoke.
"I think you were really brave, standing up to Hagrid like that." She placed her hand on my leg, just above my knee. I noticed that it was slender and dainty. My mind went numb with the shock. She was staring into my eyes, lips slightly parted. She said
"I've been wanting to talk to you for ever so long, Harry."
I couldn't look her in the eye.
"I'm glad we're alone together now," she continued, "we can express ourselves freely."
I began to feel slightly uncomfortable.
"Harry," she said, "Harry..."
I didn't know what she was about to say and then she came out with it.
"I love you Harry Potter."
Then everything went blurry, thousands of thoughts raced through my head. My heart pounded in my chest and I felt delirious. I felt too hot; my palms perspired and my senses were unbalanced. Everything in my head whirred faster and faster – I thought I was about to faint – I couldn't breathe, what was happening to me? My head was throbbing, throbbing, throbbing...
And then nothing, a vacuum, I felt nothing, I saw nothing, I felt light and blissful. Then in a vision through the darkness I saw Hagrid. I shook my head, the blurred vision of Hagrid disintegrated. I looked up at Parvati who was still holding me, looking concerned. "Harry, are you okay?" I smiled at her, and nodded. She looked at me, she looked so soft, so vulnerable. I couldn't hurt her after what she'd just told me. Plucking up the courage from deep within, even though I knew the answer already, I said "Parvati, do you wanna go out with me?" She laughed and fell into my arms. She held my face in both hands and kissed me full on the lips. The kiss grew deeper. Eventually we broke apart. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a familiar blonde running from the library. I wondered why he hadn't come to talk to me. I supposed he was late for a lesson, or something like that. I pushed the thought away, I seemed to be doing that a lot when it came to Draco, and turned to Parvati.
"Shall we head up to the common room and brave everyone else?" She laughed and nodded. We strolled all the way back to the common room holding hands, with her head resting on my shoulders. It was comfortable. We climbed through the portrait hole and when Lavender, Seamus, Neville and Dean spotted us together they cheered. I grinned, and called to them "Hey guys, we have something to tell you" They grinned too, there was lots of grinning going on that night. "We know mate!" Dean giggled. "Lavender told us as soon as she found out Parvati liked you! We've been waiting for you two to get back from the library. Parvati went with a mission. It looks like it was accomplished!" Parvati sniffed "I'll have you know, Mr. Thomas, Harry asked ME out." She glanced at me affectionately, I smiled back at her.
I awoke, bathed in sweat looking around to make sure I wasn't still dreaming. No there was Neville fast asleep on his back snoring quietly. Seamus murmuring, and whimpering, lost in a world of his own. It was still dark, fumbling for my glasses, my dorm came in to focus, it was 3.42 am.
I shivered, in an invisible breeze, I wouldn't get back to sleep again tonight. Quietly I slid out of my comforting bed on to the cold hard stone floor. I crept towards the door, not wanting to arouse the others; I slowly pulled the heavy old door open and began down the narrow flight of stairs a sleepwalker in a conscious state. Gratefully I sank in to the warmth and darkness of the common room, contemplating what had aroused my insomnia. Yes I remembered, a jigsaw of muddled scenes filled my head I sank back in to the comfort of the old armchair staring in to the dying embers.
The mirrored reflection stared out unknowing, unseeing a tall boy, mysterious green eyes, black dishevelled hair, an assortment of ill fitting muggle clothes hid his thin frame. I blinked, the mirror image of myself stared back at me. Suddenly out of the smoky background of the mirrored surface, a distorted shape was growing, forming becoming clearer. Cautiously I stepped backwards. Blonde hair, silver steel eyes, a blonde eyebrow arched, watched me I noted his expression he wasn't wearing his usual smugness instead... I felt an odd sensation begin to occur starting in my stomach, spreading to the tips of my fingers. The figure of Malfoy came to stand behind me I gasped and turned. I looked deep in to his masked eyes. I felt like an animal trapped in the glare of a headlight. His eyes drew me I felt...magnetised, I tried to ask what he was doing but no words escaped my lips. I felt a warm hand caress my cheek, our lips just brushed and then...
Then the window banged, snapping me out of my reverie.
I went down to breakfast and plonked myself down next to Parvati. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled lovingly. I could feel Draco's gaze searching my face. I avoided his eyes struggling to not come in to contact with his steely stare. "Harry...? Harry...." Parvati repeated louder. "What...Yes?" "Harry what is wrong with you? You look like you haven't had a wink of sleep all night? And you aren't touching your food." Parvati sounded exasperated. Hearing her tone I forced a smile on my grim features. "Come on, silly boy, if you aren't going to eat anything lets, get going to charms." She said in a playful tone. We stood up to leave. Parvati slid her hand in to my perspiring palm and gave me a reassuring smile. I could still feel Draco's gaze on the back of my neck. I was ashamed to look at him and I didn't know why. I casually strolled from the hall and slipped my arm around Parvati's slim waist as we began the journey to Flitwick's classroom. Through charms, herbology and lastly divination I sat, cast in to an unshiftable gloom. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. I was actually beginning to love Parvati. Yet as I had sat through lunch, on catching Draco's eye, I had felt the same familiar sensation settle in the pit of my stomach, the same, inexplicable shame.
Author's Notes: I'm so sorry! Harry is going through denial, and he's doesn't realise what he's doing to Draco and Parvati is so lovely to him, and trust! He's got people's trust! Poor boy.
And poor Draco! I think that he's realised that there are "sparks." And he's come to terms with his feelings, he's awfully mature. He may have even gone to the library to talk to Harry, and then he sees him kissing Parvati, and he runs because he now thinks that Harry doesn't feel the same way, and the sparks weren't both ways. He's disgusted at himself, he's come to terms with this and then he's let down. Poor Draco! I don't want to do this to him!
Thanks to my reviewers:
Dead yet a love sick puppy: My first loyal reader and reviewer! Thank you so much. You've commented on every chapter so far, you have my eternal gratitude etc. You're right not to feel sorry for Hagrid, he's horrible here. And Harry is certainly stubborn in his denial!
Sun-sun kat: I'm glad you think this is good work :D I do hope to keep it up.
TJ Falcos: Thanks very much. That comment's been really boosting. It's because of comments like this that I plan to keep up any work.
Beloved: I know, it's horrible! You all probably think me terribly twisted, but this was the most traumatising, disturbing thing I could think of that was remotely within the realms of common decency. Although it's certainly pushing the boundaries.
Inylan: Tut tut! Yes, this certainly does seem like it's going to be long! I have a whole story mapped out and it's not simple.
Coty Wiley: Thank you very much, I'm glad you think I'm an awesome writer.