(a/n: this isn't actually Elfaghetti. Nope, sorry, this is her loving neighbourhood Cassiel Oliviari, coming in to save the say, and breathe life into her dead plot bunny. In return, she is helping me write my poem-parody, Rowling and Seuss: Together at Last. Sorry….a bit of shameless plugging there. On to the story)
Chapter Eleven: Pains in the Posterior
"I'm sorry to say this, mate," Ron said to Harry, a grim smile on his face. "I know it'll hurt you bad, and might totally discourage you, but I'm not the kind of guy who just leads their friend on, you know?"
"So what you're saying is that I have no chance," Harry groaned. He ran his hand through his tousled mop of hair, and absent-mindedly spat on the grass. "I should just give up?"
"No!" his friend protested. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't get your hopes up. You aren't the teenager you used to be."
Ron and Harry were idly taking a walk in the park, which brought a tiny sense of normality to their totally strange existences. Motioning to his rather mangled leg, Harry remarked, "It's flying, Ron! I don't need legs to fly!"
Ron waved it off. "You never know, Harry. When you're a Pro Quidditch player, you might need your legs to grip and stuff. What if a Bludger hit's your torso, and you lose control of your legs, I mean arms?"
"I'm no Oliver Wood, Ron. I'm not crazy enough to go flying around when my body's half bashed up."
"All I'm saying is that any Pro Quidditch team will want a player with all four limbs intact, and you, my friend, are a bit lacking in that department."
Harry through up his arms in disgust. "Okay. I'll try to get a job somewhere else. Maybe as a House Elf."
The two kept walking down the path, Ron getting steadier more red as the silence grew. Finally, he burst into mad laughter. Harry gave him a weird look, and asked him what was wrong.
"You are!" he giggled out. "You honestly think that some Quidditch team won't hire you just because you have a slightly scarred leg? It's a badge of honour from the war, and you're Harry freaking Potter!"
"Oh. So you were just leading me on then?"
Ron looked up at Harry, who was trying to be serious, but was failing miserably. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I had to get you back after the Polyjuice incident."
Harry's good mood faltered slightly, but he quickly recovered, and noticed, "Hey. Isn't Hermione out for a walk, or something like that?"
Ron gazed out over the rest of the park. "Yes. She ran off this way." His eyes fixed on a small crowd of muggles about two hundred metres (yards, for you British and American) away, as did Harry's. A quick look said it all, and the pair ran over to the spot.
The crowd quickly parted for the panting wizards. In the middle there lay two unconscious bodies, one male, and one female. With the help of a few of the muggles, Ron and Harry flipped the two bodies over.
The male was unidentifiable.
The female was Hermione.
Her lips were swollen, red, and slightly open, and her chest was heaving hard. She was slightly bruised, but for now the one thing that mattered was a certain missing…accessory.
Harry faced the shocked crowd, and growled, "Did any of you see a baby? A baby girl, with big blue eyes?"
They all shook their heads.
Ron held his face in his hands, and rubbed his eyes a bit. "Alright," Harry said. "Thank you for your help."
A little girl squeezed her way forward. "Excuse me?" she said, her little voice cutting through the silence. "Is this magic?"
And old couple, presumably her grandparents, pulled her aside, and quickly hushed her. "Shh, little Jane, " the woman croaked, then looked up at the two wizards. "Little girls these days," she tutted, shaking her head. "No manners at all. Come now child."
The woman and her husband shooed the girl off, despite her loud protests. "But, wait! My m…"
After that, the muggles slowly filed off. Harry transported Hermione back to headquarters. He and Ron then hunched down and examined the man. He was very old, older than they had ever known to be possible, as seen by the grey skin and deep wrinkles. Ron felt for a pulse, then shook his head.
"Dead then." Harry closed his eyes. "She was lucky she got out of there alive."
Ron then did all the routine checks, things that they were taught in training. "He's not been dead for a while. He doesn't stink, or anything." Then, he noticed something odd. "Waitaminute."
Harry leaned over, and looked where Ron was examining. The man's eyes. They were completely colourless.
"What do you think…?"
The question didn't even half to be said. Both wizards stared in silence, and with a wave of his wand, Ron sent the body to headquarters.
"Sucked the colour right out…" he mused. "What kind of power does it take to do that?"
Harry shook his head solemnly. "Frankly, Ron, I don't even want to think about it."
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Upon arriving to Headquarters, the two were immediately assaulted by McGonagall, who was in some sort of fit.
"YOU TWO YOUNG HOOLIGANS!" she raged, her face purple and splotchy. "INCOMPETANT NINCOMPOOPS! PAINS IN THE…." She struggled for a word, "….POSTERIOR!"
Harry and Ron nearly ran back out the door, they were so shocked! Harry peeked his eyes out from under his fringe. "Minerva? May I ask what we did wrong?"
She sucked in another huge breath of air. "You TWO were out taking a walk, while two unconscious wizards suddenly appear! We needed YOUR help!"
"Oh, so the man was a wizard," Ron said. "We didn't identify him as one."
"Well, I don't think Voldemort would attack a muggle like that," Harry shrugged. "he doesn't think them that important."
He turned to McGonagall, who was blue by now. "We found them in the park, and sent them to you," he explained.
"You didn't identify…" she trailed off. Suddenly sober, she led the two to a spare room, where the old man's body lay. She turned to them, a quavering tear running down her eye, and informed them;
"This man is Albus Dumbledore."
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(DUMDUMDUM! I kind of took a weird turn in this chapter, I hope you and she like it….i hope a resurrected the plot bunny…now read and review!)
(oh yeah…if you liked this chapter, look me up…sorry…)
Casbah Rock-ers
Regina-terrae- I think you now know who the old wrinkled body is…. But why is he old and wrinkled?
Ani: thank you, but I didnt start it…I hope this chapter lives up to the rest of the story
Leila5: -hugs back-
Jbanana: Draco is so nice and demented when he is insane! You no like? (and I'm sure she had a nice holiday…she was just too lazy to update, so I had to give her an offer she couldn't refuse)
Cassiel Oliviari: I've never had the pleasure to answer my own review. Now I have, and it wasn't as cool as I thought it would be ;)
It was nice meeting you guys.
C.O.