A/N- Starting to feel a little unloved here people. I give a very special thanks and a Frodo talking plushie to Nienna for being a great reviewer and for letting me put her in this story because I'm probably completely warping her personality but that's just me. And once again I say hello to King Matt who is probably driving down some lonely highway to deliver some freight to a massive corporation for the public to consume. Rock on King Matt.

Pawn Shops and The Art of B&E

My VW was actually moving faster than I ever remember it going. No, its really not. It just seems like it because the horde of orcs, uruk-hai and wargs are on foot. At least the p.o.s VW that should've been put out of its misery long ago is keeping us out of their sight range. Stupid, evil things wouldn't even be chasing us if the Nazgul hadn't of alerted them to our escape. Stupid, evil things wouldn't even be on earth if it wasn't for Celeborn. Then the stupid, evil things wouldn't have killed...no, I can't think about that right now. Maybe in like fifty years when I've had enough psychotherapy. For right now I'll be happy filling everything employed by Sauron with lead. Yeah, that's a good idea. Gee, everyone's quiet. And Mandy is flipping me off. I love my friends. I could hear Faber and Joel discussing our options once we crossed the border. They both agreed that we should hide out at one of the marina warehouses. That way we had two ways out. The road and the water. Yeah, sounds like a great plan. Why don't we just stop here, paint bulls-eyes on our chests and sing 'we love orcs' at the top of our lungs. I think that would work much better.

"We're coming up on the border," Matt called back about two seconds before slamming on the brakes.

I looked out of the front of the car to see the road leading into Mississippi was completely blocked off by barbed wire and sandbags. I turned back to see Mandy slam on the brakes for her car and O.C. do the same right behind her. A voice boomed through a megaphone ",This road is blocked off. The state of Louisiana is under Marshal Law and no one is allowed to leave. Turn off your cars and step out of the vehicles with your hands in the air. Any sudden moves believed to be threatening or an attempt to escape will be met by lethal force."

We did as the voice said. I stepped out of the back and slung the shotgun over my shoulder. The lot of us stood there with our hands over our heads. We couldn't see the men standing there with rifles trained on us since we were currently being blinded by a spotlight. The voice came over the megaphone again ",Turn around and walk backwards towards me." We did that and at the barricade he said again ",Get on the ground on your stomachs with your arms out above your head. Keep your faces down on the ground."

We all did as he said. Well, almost all of us. I had to pull Haldir down with me since he refused to get on the ground saying he was too dignified for it. I kept my nose to the asphalt but saw a pair of military issued boots stop near my head ",Sir, its just a bunch of kids. They're armed but I think they fought their way out of the state."

"I don't care what they are or what you think. Follow protocol."

The boots kneeled down next to me ",What's your name ? Where'd you come from ?"

"Tina Baker. We ran from Hammond when it was attacked. Before that it was Zachary. And before that it was New Orleans. Please, you have to let us through the border. If you don't we're as good as dead."

"What are those things in there ?"

"Orcs, Uruk-hai, wargs, Nazgul. They don't care that you have guns. They outnumber your barricade five to one and that's me giving you generous odds. If you're not going to let us through then shoot us right here so that we can die quickly."

"Tina," Mandy screamed.

"They're coming," Aragorn called. I risked a look at him to see he had his ear pressed to the ground. I did the same. I could hear the rattle of battle armor but it didn't come from the vibrations in the ground it came from about two hundred yards behind.

I heard numerous automatic weapons click as bullets were loaded into their chambers. "Sir, we can't just leave them here," the soldier called out to his commander.

"Are you going to let them just murder us," Eomer yelled. "If you are let the women cross and leave us here."

"Get them up and on the other side of the barricade," the megaphone voice said.

We were up and running for the barricade when I risked a glance over my shoulder. There were more orcsback wards and uruk-hai there than I'd ever seen. The wargs had joined them. Haldir grabbed my arm pulling me along ",We must find shelter for the hobbits then we fight."

Once we cleared the barricade bullets flew through the air at our enemies. We didn't look back we just ran. I scooped up Pippin since he was beginning to lag behind. Aragorn already had Frodo. Matt had Merry and Haldir had Sam. We were passing the military trucks when I got an idea. "We'll never out run them. Get in."

I got behind the steering wheel while everyone piled into the back of the truck. "Keys, keys, keys, where would I be if I were keys ?"

"Sometime today, Tina," Nienna sang from the passenger's seat while looking out of the window.

I flipped open the visor and a set of keys fell into my lap. A few moments later we were driving down the road with the screams of the military men fading in the distance. I can honestly say that this is not good. Nope, not good at all. With those military guys gone we could pretty much count on not having any help with nice big tanks and bazookas coming for us anytime soon. "We need supplies," I yelled out of the window.

"What," Aragorn screamed back.

"SUPPLIES ! WE NEED SUPPLIES," I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"The mall," Joel said as he leaned into Nienna's window causing her to nearly have a seizure.

"The mall ? Why the mall ?"

"Clothes since what we brought is currently in flames. You'll see that if you look through your mirror." Yep, he was right. Nice big pillar of flame which could only be my VW. I'll miss the P.O.S. "Better weapons since there's a sporting goods store there."

I sighed ",Only one problem."

"What's that ?"

"Sporting good stores don't sell ammo. They sell arrows for the elves there but no bullets."

"Well, we can get ammo someplace else. Oh, and the mall has a Wal-Mart so we can get food."

"Why don't we just do one stop shopping at Wal-Mart and get everything in one place ?"

"Fine. Take a left at the light."

Five Minutes Later at the Local Wal-Mart....

We all looked at the sign that had been hung up in the door. "Closed due to invasion," Pippin read out loud. "What's an invasion ?"

"Uhm..," I thought for a moment then I got an idea on how to explain it. "Okay, lets say Aragorn here is ruler of Gondor."

"I am ruler of Gondor."

Boromir leaned into his face ",No, you're not."

"Fine," I huffed ",lets say Boromir is ruler of Gondor..."

"That's more like it," Boromir said with a smile.

"So glad you approve," I replied back sarcastically before turning back to Pippin. "Okay, so Boromir rules Gondor. Aragorn over there who rules lets say...the Shire."

Merry pulled on my sleeve ",He can't rule the Shire. He's not a hobbit."

Now I was starting to get frustrated ",For the moment lets say that he does."

"But he can't."

"Fine, he rules Rivendale. And, Elrond, if you say anything so help me I'll shove Merry so far up your nose you'll be sneezing curly hair for years."

"I was not planning on interrupting you, Lady Tina."

"Good. So, Aragorn, rules Rivendale. He decides one day that he wants to rule Gondor. So he gathers up his army and attacks Gondor. They break through the gates and invade Gondor and defeats Boromir and becomes ruler of Rivendale and Gondor. That is until Legolas, who now rules Mirkwood, decides that he wants to take over Rivendale and Gondor. Then it just happens all over again. Do you understand ?"

"Yes...well, no, not really."

"Good." I walked up to the sliding glass doors and smashed one of them open with the butt of the shotgun. "Now, lets go shopping. Nienna, back the truck up to the doors to make loading easier."

"You're trusting me to drive ?"

I handed her the keys before following everyone else inside. Joel began giving orders then ",Okay, everyone take a cart and split up. Grab everything you think we'll need. Tina, you're in charge of food. Take the hobbits with you."

"Fine, grab some carts boys."

We grabbed our carts and split up. I bypassed the food and the hobbits gave me a curious look. "I thought we were getting the food," Frodo asked as all four tried to keep up with my long strides.

"We are. But why do things the hard way. We can grab cases of this stuff in the back."

We hit the store room and began piling things into the carts. Cases of peanut butter, jelly, tuna, mayo, mustard, soda, juice, microwave dinners, cheese, bread, bagels, pizzas (at Pippin's request), mushrooms (also at Pippin's request), meat, chicken, frozen fruit and veggies. I figured we could do the frozen stuff since if we were going to hide out in a warehouse on the water that it was a fish warehouse and had freezers. And what warehouse that kept employees didn't have a microwave ? And if we needed to cook over flame I was sure that there were some barrels that we could start a fire in.

When we made it back to the front everyone else was already loading their carts into the bed of the transport truck. Haldir looked at our overly full carts and tried not to smile. Tried being the operative word here. "I see you're a bit hungry."

"Shove it, Haldir," Sam snapped. "We're a large group and therefore had to shop in quantity."

I smiled down at Sam. He'd actually learned something from me. Granted, everything he probably learned from me was insults. But so what. I taught him something.

Haldir cleared his throat as we began loading the food in. "I hope you don't mind, Tina. I did your shopping for you."

"What are you talking about ?"

"Clothes. You weren't really planning on wearing that into battle ?"

I looked down to examine my clothes more closely. He was right. I don't think a skirt would offer much protection in battle. "You better not have anything ugly. Hey, when did you guys have time to bag everything ?"

No one answered since we were cut off by the sound of ratteling armor once again. Everyone began throwing what was left into the truck before jumping on. Someone yelled for Nienna to floor it which she did and we all ended up on our backs in the bed of the truck. Once again we barely eluded the enemy. I looked over to Joel who smiled at me briefly ",We cleaned the store out of every gun and bow they had. But the ammo won't last long."

"I saw a pawn shop on the way here," I offered.

"Are you suggesting we break the law two times in one day ?"

"Sure, why not ? After all we are only protecting ourselves. And how can we protect ourselves if no one's open to sell the stuff to us. So I don't consider it breaking the law at all. I think we should just consider ourselves the law."

Joel looked at me strangely before he and Faber exchanged the look. The look the screamed ',She's avoiding and masking. Keeping everything in. She'll blow soon.' Then they both looked back at me.

"Shove it you two. Lets just stop at the pawn shop and find a place to stay where we won't get maimed or killed."

So after a brief stop at the pawn shop (brief because the alarm was too damn loud) we found a place that suited our needs. Large enough that we had some breathing room. It had freezers, microwaves, and a stove (get that). There was roof access through a hatch that was hidden above some stairs and water access through a hatch in the floor. There were large warehouse doors at the back that I guess were for letting the ships come in close to dock and unload their haul. There were enough nooks and corners for all of us to have our own little sleeping area. And there were crates all over the place. That seemed strange with this definately being a fish warehouse and all. We knew that since there was a freezer full of fish that couldn't have been two days old. But, why were there crates ?

Next time- Crates and a fishy smell.

Our refugees (they can't be called heroes at the moment since they've spent like the last three chapters running away) find out that the warehouse isn't what its cracked up to be. They find out just how bored one person can get. The orcs may attack. Someone gets the idea of using a certain hated song for orc torture. And just what is in those crates anyrattlingdefinitelyway ?