A/N- Thank you to Tongue in Cheek Scribe for your reviews. You guys should go check out her story called Middle Earth World. It so rocks. A very loud hello to Nienna and King Matt because without them letting me completely warp their personalities I wouldn't even have a story.

A/N 2- Thanks to my reviewers. Especially to Tongue in Cheek Scribe (hands over a Boromir plushie with fake arrows sticking out of its chest), LadyoftheLlamas [or Blue Jedi Hobbit] (hands over a Legolas plushie with a pink mohawk), and Nienna (hands over a talking Frodo plushie that says "The Ring is Mine" when you squeeze it). Now please excuse any errors in this story seeing as I'm extremely sick right now and have had little sleep. Oooohhhh, I know what you could do when you review. Send some chicken soup. I have no one here to take care of me right now since my husband and the two kids got to go on vacation without me. grumble, grumble, swear. Now on with the story.

Disclaimer- Lord of the Rings, me own ? Nah, I don't think so.

I Wanna Go Home

We stood on the roof saying nothing simply because of the fact that we couldn't be heard over the damn music. Matt decided to put in an appearance right about then wearing a smug look on his face. "This was your idea," I screamed over the music which sounded like a whale dying.

"It worked didn't it ?"

"Yes, yes it did. Unfortunately its working on us too. I'm ready to jump off of here."

Matt's smug look went away ",I'll be back."

We all turned back to the dock and beyond that the street. We all watched as a car went whizzing by with part of its engine sticking up out of the hood. An orc was at the steering wheel. Joel and Faber got thoughtful looks on their faces. Joel was the first one to talk ",That's gotta suck."

"Broken motor mount," Faber said right behind him.

"Gave it too much gas."

"Too much torque."

The both continued at the same time now ",Twisted the engine too hard and sent it right through the hood. Good car too."

"I don't know what's scarier," I came into the conversation sarcastically ",the fact that orcs are learning to drive. Or the fact that the two of you are acting like that's a normal sight. I'm going to eat and see what's goin' on elsewhere in the world." I climbed back down into the warehouse and soon realized that everyone had decided to follow me in. Once on the landing though we kind of went our separate ways. Well, as separate as you can get in a warehouse. I went to the kitchen to find a nice plate of sandwiches just sitting on the counter completely unguarded. I grabbed the plate and a six pack of soda and went back to the offices. Haldir and Legolas were sitting on the stairwell next to the office that I was going to. I looked in and saw that Mandy and Matt were already there. I offered them a sandwich before I none too gently shoved them out of the way. I found my website and began perusing the different saying on the screen. Mandy, Matt, and I leaned back in our chairs to look at the two elves who were still sitting in the stairwell having a serious discussion that seemed to involve laughter. I smiled happily. This was going to be fun.

"Hey, Haldir," I called. He leaned back to look at me ",Auta miqula orqu."

Haldir looked back to Legolas ",Did she just tell me..."

"Yes, Tina just told you to kiss an orc."

"Dolle naa lost," Haldir retorted to which I spent a few moments searching the screen for the translation.

"Lle n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina," I snapped back.

"You're pronunciation is horrible," Legolas chimed in.

Haldir shot him a glare ",Stay out of this princling. I am not ugly and my mother does not dress me funny, Thauren."

I smirked ",That's all you've got. Telling me my head is empty and calling me abominable one ?"

"I thought you couldn't speak elvish," Haldir shot back.

"I don't but with the help of the computer I can speak anything. Agaryulnear."

"I am no bloodsucker, 'Ksher."

"Yes, I do believe I'm evil. Thanks for the compliment, Unguer."

"She does have a point," Legolas once again cut in ",you are quite hollow."

Haldir was turning a very pretty shade of crimson as he muttered ",Lanner."

Now it was my turn to sputter. How dare he. If he had any experience with women he would know not to tell her that. "I AM NOT WIDE."

"Just admit that I have bested you and I will take it back."

"NEVER. NOSTACH BE ORCH GAER. There I said it. You smell like an orc."

"This," Haldir growled ",means war."

I shot up out of my seat ",Bring it, elf-boy."

He began advancing towards the office, his face never changing from being angry, now I was getting kind of nervous. I looked down to Mandy and Matt who just exchanged looks before looking back up at me. "We'll run interference. Go for reinforcements," Matt whispered.

I nodded in understanding. Legolas was just continuing to sit on the top stair watching the events unfold. He's a lot of help now isn't he ? When Haldir reached the doorway Mandy and Matt tackled him onto the wooden floor and struggled to keep him on the ground. I jumped over the fighting trio and made my way for the stairs only to have them blocked by Legolas.

"Who's side are you on, elf ?"

"What kind of elf would I be if I just left my kin out in the open ?"
Figures. Stupid nancying elf. I looked for another way down and soon found it in the way of a bracing pole on the other side of the balcony. Legolas noticed it too. He reached out for me but I jumped over the railing and slid down the pole to the floor below. I looked up only to see Legolas was almost down the stairs and Haldir was not far behind him with Mandy and Matt still clinging to his legs. Great ! Now where do I go ? I turned to my left only to be tackled mid-stride by Legolas who then proceeded to tickle me to death. He was soon joined by Haldir. The hobbits were taking this all in before they declared their allegiance.

"For Tina," Frodo called, raising his fist in the air.

"FOR TINA," the other hobbits called before jumping onto the backs of the elves.

"Trust an elf to not be able to do anything right," Gimli grumbled deciding to help the elves.

Now I was having trouble breathing. Not just because I was being tickled to within an inch of my life but I also had a lot of weight bearing down on me. Aragorn and Boromir looked at each other and shrugged while Aragorn replied ",We could help Tina."

"But we won't," Boromir offered.

They soon joined Gimli and helping the elves. Eomer, Eowyn and Faramir just looked at one another as decided to actually help me out. It was soon an all out war with my friends, Eomer, Eowyn, Faramir, and the hobbits on my side. We faced off against Haldir, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, and Boromir. The poor guys didn't seem to realize they were highly out numbered. We began to run towards each other with every intent of taking no prisoners (except for Haldir who we would torture for fun later) before a loud boom of thunder in the building stopped all of us mid-step. We all looked over out shoulders to see the "adults" of the group, Gandalf, Elrond, and Celeborn all looking at us quite sternly. "It is late and we are trying to find a way home. So I suggest that all of you find your way to your beds and get rest while you can," Elrond boomed, doing the freaky eyebrow thing. I think he can be scarier than Gandalf sometimes. We turned back to one another seriously considering not listening to Elrond but thought better of it.

I made my way up to the office that I had claimed as my bedroom only to see that I would have to share it. Want to guess with who ? Yep, you guessed it. Haldir. Drum roll please. Now, let the torture begin.

Haldir's POV

Having been in close proximity to Tina for a number of weeks I have learned quite a bit about her. First, she likes to sleep in the most uncomfortable looking positions. Lately, she has preferred to have the wall against her back and completely twisted in her bed covers. How she manages this I have no idea. Second, she likes to keep her weapon close at hand. And third, she's a very light sleeper.

"Haldir, I swear upon all that calls itself holy, if you don't shut up, turn off the lamp, and go to sleep I will string you up by your ears."

I had heard her perfectly well but I also heard Lord Elrond in my head ",Celeborn has remember the spell. We will leave at first light."
My shoulders slumped. I was not sure if I was ready to leave quite yet.

Tina had sat up when I did not answer her. "What's wrong ?"

"Nothing important I assure you."

"And Napoleon didn't have a height complex. What's going on ? Did Elrond do that weird talking in your head thing ?"

"As I have already told you it is nothing important."

"Fine," she huffed before lying back down and properly twisting the covers around her.

I thought back to the shopping experience at the Wal-Mart where her friends Joel and Faber had taken an interest in mine and Tina's dynamic.

Flashback

"So you like Tina," Joel asked, taking a defensive stance.

"She can be pleasant enough," I responded, not really paying that much attention as they steered me into the electronics section.

They both broke out laughing while they stood there staring at me. Faber was the first to pull himself together ",We're here to help. Since we know Tina best and all."

Joel grabbed a CD and handed it to me ",We're going to tell you one thing to say and she'll be putty in your hands. Trust us."

End Flashback

I continued to look at Tina who then cracked an eye at me still managing to look suspicious ",Will you just go to sleep or whatever it is that you elves do."

"Tap on my window. Knock on my door. I want to make you feel beautiful," I said just loud enough for her to hear.

She seemed to shoot up out of the sleeping bag when what I said finally made it through to her. "What ?"

"I think you heard me."

Pippin's POV

Merry and I had run to the room that Tina was in only to stop at the door, looking through the window. There on Haldir's bedroll were Tina and Haldir...kissing. "Well, Pippin, will wonders ever cease ?"

"I don't think so, Merry. I thought they hated each other."

"I think it was just an act. So no one would suspect."

I nodded not really knowing what else to do. I looked over at Merry ",I think we should leave now. I feel like we're spying."

"But...shouldn't we tell them what Elrond said ?"

"We'll do it tomorrow. They deserve a little peace tonight."

We walked down the stairs to where the others were setting up for the night. Merry pulled out his pipe, putting it in his mouth thoughtfully ",They do make a nice couple don't they, Pippin ?"

"Yes, they do."

Aragorn looked at us then ",What are you two up to ?"

"Nothing. We went to tell Tina and Haldir that we were going home but they were unavailable," Merry stated.

Aragorn arched his eyebrows in confusion but then reality dawned on him and he just smiled. "Hopefully the March-warden can keep his head out of the clouds."

Next Chapter- At the end of the rainbow.
All good things must come to an end. But fear not. The first chapter of the sequel will be up in a few days. Maybe sooner. Anyways, the Middle Earthians are going home. Will this spell work out ? I so don't think so.

A/N 3-I just thought that those were the best lyrics from Maroon 5's song "She Will Be Loved". I think they're very romantic. You can let me know if you think I've lost my mind.