Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. I never have and never will. I don't
own Battlefield Earth. (That's probably a good thing). I don't own Gigli
either. It's like what Teen Titans would be if Teen Titans - you know,
starred Ben Affleck as Robin and Jennifer Lopez as Starfire - or Slade.
See me at adventure continues... in Titans Tower, with Aqualad. (See Superman II DVD). He had some errands to run for the people of his aqua-city, and so he got up early to do them. He put on his aqua-suit and went to work. He probably wasn't going to be back until about 8 o'clock that night. He didn't want to do it though - he wanted to see what Beast Boy's day had in store for him - so he did the next best thing. He removed the camera Slade set up in his bathroom and moved it to the main living room to catch all that happened. He then left as quietly as he woke up.
Starfire was very worried about her dentist appointment. What would a dentist do to her? When she asked Robin, all he could tell her was that "he fixes up your teeth." She wasn't too pleased by this, as A) She didn't know the meaning of the word teeth (she was only aware of the Tamaranian word), and B) Her definition of the word "fixed" was not a very pleasant one. She gently woke up Robin, who asked her how she got into his bed. She chose not to give an answer. Her dentist appointment was in an hour, and she was just plain scared.
Soon enough, all of the Titans (sans Aqualad) were in the living room. Robin made sure Cyborg had his keys, and Cyborg made sure Robin had Star on a leash. The three of them got into the T-Car, and were off to see a Dr. Wilson, DDS. That left Terra, Raven, and Beast Boy alone. Beast Boy gave an attempt at a smile. "So... um... what do you girls wanna do?"
Beast Boy was incredibly fortunate today. Both Terra and Raven had promised themselves the night before that they weren't going to tell anyone else of their new "relationship" until the time was right. Raven and Terra just gave Beast Boy bashful smiles and didn't answer. Beast Boy just took that as a cue to make a tofu breakfast. The girls weren't exactly pleased, but they lived with it. It helped that it tasted somewhat edible.
Raven then went up to her room to meditate, and / or think about BB in her own subtle, introverted ways. That gave Terra the chance to spend the morning alone with him. They sat on the couch and played video games - a quiet morning, to be sure. When they won their co-op video game, (not Ninja Storm 7) Terra jumped up and down and gave him a big hug - right when Raven finished meditating and came downstairs. Beast Boy figured he was slightly screwed - but no! Raven just laughed to herself, thinking "Sorry, girl, but you'll find out he's taken soon enough." Terra laughed to herself as well, thinking the same thing. She went upstairs to read until noon, allowing BB to spend the next hour with Raven. He knew that with Star's strange behavior, the other three wouldn't be back from the dentist until probably 6:30.
The hour with Raven went by fast too. Raven attempted to teach Beast Boy how to meditate. "Just keep your mind clear of all things. Unless you want to think of me - then go ahead." Beast Boy squirmed. He didn't think he was going to be able to hold out an entire day with these two without letting something slip. He wasn't able to meditate either, because his mind kept vacillating from one girl to the other. Which one did he like more? He was thinking to himself again. "Terra's got the much better personality and control..." but if to debate himself, he said "Raven's figure's much better though." Oops. Not something he should have said out loud - hopefully it wouldn't happen again. Thankfully, no one heard it.
Starfire's dentist appointment was going exactly as Beast Boy predicted it would. Their normal dentist, Dr. Joe Wilson, had been paralyzed by the venom of the last patient he checked - some guy named Fang. Robin led Star to the dentist's chair while Cyborg sat in the T-Car listening to the Mets and Braves again. He really didn't like those teams.
Star sat in the chair, and immediately started playing with the instruments. The first one was the one that released water. That went in Robin's nose. The one that released air went through her ear - and out the other. This couldn't get any more unpleasant - until the replacement dentist walked in...
"Slade..." started Robin. How Slade had managed a DDS and PhD all while hatching villainous schemes was completely beyond his grasp of reality. Slade wasn't much for talking though - he actually wanted to work on Starfire's teeth. Star clenched onto Robin's hand and probably broke it. She asked Dr. Slade. "You aren't going to fix my teeth, are you?" Slade just laughed. "Not in the way you mean - we're just going to clean them." Then he said quietly, and to himself. "And add chronoton detonators as fillings." What Slade thought of quietly was rather quite loud, however, and Robin KO'd him and threw him out the window. He was much less of a threat when dressed up as a freakin' dentist.
Raven and Terra were both sitting on the couch on either side of Beast Boy. He really didn't want to make any moves, and was grateful the girls hadn't made any either. All they could do was look at the floor and smile. BB had to break the news to the two of them one of these days, but decided that today was not that day - especially when he was going to be alone for 5 more hours. Terra was the first to speak. "Hey - how about we run the obstacle course?" Beast Boy thought it was a good idea, as did Raven - until Terra continued - "Handcuffed to each other!" Not such a good idea. The Titans did this as an exercise all the time, even handcuffed. However, this was a different occasion.
The obstacle course was not exactly the most fun thing one could do. Laser shooting robots popped up everywhere. Rocks went flying, there was running, there was climbing, and things exploded. Once the three of them were handcuffed, and Beast Boy's was specially fitted by Raven so he couldn't morph out of it, they were off. Terra used her powers to bring a rock for them to float on, and Raven used her powers to shield them. Beast Boy was only there for company. After about 2 minutes, they reached the end of the obstacle course with no harm done.
Or was there? Terra had accidentally dropped the key for the 'cuffs on the obstacle course. Without thinking, Beast Boy ran for it, dragging the other two along. Unfortunately, this set off the laser shooting robots. Not good. Beast Boy grabbed the key, and prepared to undo the lock, when one of the robots blasted the key into 50 pieces. Very... not... good.
Starfire sat in the dentist's chair, waiting for her 3rd dentist to show up. After about 25 minutes, he did. Dr. Wayne. He was a rather good dentist, until he prodded Starfire's loose tooth with his poker. One starbolt later, and Dr. Wayne was a dentist's uniform on the floor. Robin sighed, and Cyborg didn't realize that it was already 2:15. Beast Boy's predictions were currently on tap - Robin was expecting a 6:30 return.
The fourth dentist was a Dr. Kent. He was a nice guy, and he did most of Starfire's teeth just fine. She didn't blast him to oblivion with a starbolt, or eye beams, but he couldn't get her to take her fluoride. She claimed it looked like a poison from her planet. Robin agreed to take it with her, just to get out of there faster. She agreed, and it went fine. Then it was time for the X-Rays of her mouth. Star screamed, thinking he said X-rated, and blasted him. A fifth dentist was needed. Star was doing more business for the undertaker than for the dentist.
Beast Boy, Terra, and Raven returned to the couch, all handcuffed to one another. Terra had tried crushing the links with rocks, and Raven had tried "Azarath Metrion Zinthos"ing the chains off, but to no avail. Thanks to Raven, Beast Boy couldn't change out of his cuffs. He really hoped they could think of something before the others came home, or he would have even more explaining to do. There had to be something. The steak knife didn't work. The scissors didn't work. Maybe some of Robin's utility tools would do the trick - hopefully he had an extra utility belt in his room.
Raven tried to grab the belt off the high shelf first. While she was distracted, Terra told Beast Boy to meet him at a restaurant (the same one he and Raven had gone to) at 8:30 tomorrow night. In order to not incur her wrath, he politely agreed. She gave him a big hug and gave a flutter of her eyelashes. Beast Boy gave a smile back, and Raven came up empty handed. Terra went for the belt next. Raven put BB's arm around her (without asking), and told him that she was going to meet him at the movie theatre at 5:00. He didn't exactly have a choice, seeing as it was Raven. She gave him a big hug too, and cuddled in close. Tomorrow was going to be another long day - except in reverse. Terra came up empty-handed too. Doing something he should have done from the beginning, BB turned into an octopus and used his other 6 arms not stuck in handcuffs to grab the utility belt.
One by one, they attempted to use the utility belt's tools. Nothing was working. Robin's grappling hook? Useless. His boomerang? Useless. His Swiss army knife? It did about as much as the Swiss Army during the Second World War. It looked like Beast Boy, Raven, and Terra were stuck together until the rest of the Titans got home - not that Terra and Raven minded. Beast Boy basically found himself trapped like meat in a sandwich - and he didn't like meat.
The secretary walked in to the dentist's office. It was 4:00. She informed Starfire and Robin that there were no more dentists within 15 miles, and that Star might as well go home. Another appointment wasn't necessary. Starfire began to get upset, but Robin assured her that it was all going to be fine. Robin wondered if it was a good idea to take her to her physical in two weeks. He decided it wasn't, and took Starfire back to the T-Car.
The ride home was a quiet one. Starfire refused to talk, and spent the entire time looking out her window, trying to imagine what Beast Boy, Raven, and Terra were doing. Cyborg worried that by the time they got home, Beast Boy would be dead (even though they were an hour and a half ahead of schedule). Robin had no idea what was going on, and was busy thinking about either Star or Slade depending on if the time ended with an even or odd number. He didn't even notice when Cy got the car up to 115 miles an hour to reach Beast Boy in time. Starfire did. She screamed. The T-Car went tumbling off a cliff.
Starfire pulled Cyborg and Robin to safety. She couldn't say the same for the T-Car. It exploded in a ball of flame at the bottom of the hill. Cyborg's eyes bulged out of his head, and Starfire gave a muffled "I am sorry..." The only reason Cyborg didn't explode too was because Robin had enough money for a taxi. (seeing as how they didn't have to pay the dentist). They hailed a taxi and were on their way home after surveying the wreckage and salvaging what they could - it was now 6:15. (Funny how things work out)
Beast Boy was now whimpering - and he also had to use the bathroom. There was no way he could hide his double-relationship thing for much longer, what with the two girls both resting on one shoulder, still attached by the two handcuffs. This was going to be the most awkward thing he had ever done, and it looked like he was going to have no date for tomorrow instead of two. That's right about when Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg re-entered. At 6:30. Just like Beast Boy figured they would. The first thing that occurred was Cyborg taking a picture of the girls stuck to Beast Boy and looking for affection. Beast Boy still didn't know why the girls hadn't gone at each other's throats yet - maybe they hadn't noticed. Yeah - they definitely hadn't noticed.
Robin checked to see if his utility belt had anything to cut the handcuffs. Terra assured him that they had already tried, and nothing was going to work. Starfire tried using her starbolts to no avail - they were much more effective on dentists, Robin remarked, to elicit an "ooh-kay..." from Raven. Cyborg, however, were able to free the girls from Beast Boy using his acetylene-torch finger. Beast Boy was very greatly relieved, and sprinted for the bathroom. Raven and Terra went up to their rooms.
Terra flipped through the pages of her magazines. She imagined each of the muscular hunks to have green skin and Beast Boy's dopey expression (yeah - very weird). She was very excited about tomorrow's fancy dinner date. Raven sat in her room meditating. She couldn't believe that she actually asked to go to the movies. That wasn't much like her - but then again, not much that she did in the past couple of days was.
Beast Boy came out of the bathroom shaking his head. Instead of a dinner date with Raven and movies with Terra, as he had done yesterday, tomorrow he had a dinner date with Terra and movies with Raven - in the exact same places! He looked at Cyborg, who was playing video games again by himself since Robin and Starfire had disappeared. Robin was probably playing with Star's grebnacks again (if this sounds incredibly disturbing to you, you probably haven't read chapter 2 yet.)
Beast Boy sat down on the couch sighing audibly. Cyborg asked him what was the matter. "Well, I've got two dates again tomorrow, dude - they're gonna find out! I know they're gonna find out! I had a tough enough time of it today keeping them off me! You saw what happened with the handcuffs!" Cyborg paused before speaking. "Uh... yeah - why exactly were you handcuffed together?!" Beast Boy huffed. "Training". Cyborg gave a snide "Yeah, sure." He was going to be absolutely no help whatsoever until Aqualad arrived home.
At 8 o' clock sharp, Aqualad did arrive home. The three guys went up to Beast Boy's room and went over the days events - when Aqualad popped the tape into the VCR to prove it, things got interesting. Cyborg apologized when he saw that the handcuffs were for training. Beast Boy was rather livid that Aqualad taped the entire ordeal, but Aqualad calmed him down by giving advice for his dates tomorrow. "Just do the same thing you did yesterday, but don't mess up their names - that'll blow the cover immediately!" Not exactly good advice, but it was enough for Beast Boy. He called Robin down and the two of them played video games as the night wore on.
What will Beast Boy do tomorrow? Will Terra and Raven find out about this debacle? What is Kitten's prom dress doing in Aqualad's pack? Find out in the next chapter!
Continue to read and review, I appreciate it all!
See me at adventure continues... in Titans Tower, with Aqualad. (See Superman II DVD). He had some errands to run for the people of his aqua-city, and so he got up early to do them. He put on his aqua-suit and went to work. He probably wasn't going to be back until about 8 o'clock that night. He didn't want to do it though - he wanted to see what Beast Boy's day had in store for him - so he did the next best thing. He removed the camera Slade set up in his bathroom and moved it to the main living room to catch all that happened. He then left as quietly as he woke up.
Starfire was very worried about her dentist appointment. What would a dentist do to her? When she asked Robin, all he could tell her was that "he fixes up your teeth." She wasn't too pleased by this, as A) She didn't know the meaning of the word teeth (she was only aware of the Tamaranian word), and B) Her definition of the word "fixed" was not a very pleasant one. She gently woke up Robin, who asked her how she got into his bed. She chose not to give an answer. Her dentist appointment was in an hour, and she was just plain scared.
Soon enough, all of the Titans (sans Aqualad) were in the living room. Robin made sure Cyborg had his keys, and Cyborg made sure Robin had Star on a leash. The three of them got into the T-Car, and were off to see a Dr. Wilson, DDS. That left Terra, Raven, and Beast Boy alone. Beast Boy gave an attempt at a smile. "So... um... what do you girls wanna do?"
Beast Boy was incredibly fortunate today. Both Terra and Raven had promised themselves the night before that they weren't going to tell anyone else of their new "relationship" until the time was right. Raven and Terra just gave Beast Boy bashful smiles and didn't answer. Beast Boy just took that as a cue to make a tofu breakfast. The girls weren't exactly pleased, but they lived with it. It helped that it tasted somewhat edible.
Raven then went up to her room to meditate, and / or think about BB in her own subtle, introverted ways. That gave Terra the chance to spend the morning alone with him. They sat on the couch and played video games - a quiet morning, to be sure. When they won their co-op video game, (not Ninja Storm 7) Terra jumped up and down and gave him a big hug - right when Raven finished meditating and came downstairs. Beast Boy figured he was slightly screwed - but no! Raven just laughed to herself, thinking "Sorry, girl, but you'll find out he's taken soon enough." Terra laughed to herself as well, thinking the same thing. She went upstairs to read until noon, allowing BB to spend the next hour with Raven. He knew that with Star's strange behavior, the other three wouldn't be back from the dentist until probably 6:30.
The hour with Raven went by fast too. Raven attempted to teach Beast Boy how to meditate. "Just keep your mind clear of all things. Unless you want to think of me - then go ahead." Beast Boy squirmed. He didn't think he was going to be able to hold out an entire day with these two without letting something slip. He wasn't able to meditate either, because his mind kept vacillating from one girl to the other. Which one did he like more? He was thinking to himself again. "Terra's got the much better personality and control..." but if to debate himself, he said "Raven's figure's much better though." Oops. Not something he should have said out loud - hopefully it wouldn't happen again. Thankfully, no one heard it.
Starfire's dentist appointment was going exactly as Beast Boy predicted it would. Their normal dentist, Dr. Joe Wilson, had been paralyzed by the venom of the last patient he checked - some guy named Fang. Robin led Star to the dentist's chair while Cyborg sat in the T-Car listening to the Mets and Braves again. He really didn't like those teams.
Star sat in the chair, and immediately started playing with the instruments. The first one was the one that released water. That went in Robin's nose. The one that released air went through her ear - and out the other. This couldn't get any more unpleasant - until the replacement dentist walked in...
"Slade..." started Robin. How Slade had managed a DDS and PhD all while hatching villainous schemes was completely beyond his grasp of reality. Slade wasn't much for talking though - he actually wanted to work on Starfire's teeth. Star clenched onto Robin's hand and probably broke it. She asked Dr. Slade. "You aren't going to fix my teeth, are you?" Slade just laughed. "Not in the way you mean - we're just going to clean them." Then he said quietly, and to himself. "And add chronoton detonators as fillings." What Slade thought of quietly was rather quite loud, however, and Robin KO'd him and threw him out the window. He was much less of a threat when dressed up as a freakin' dentist.
Raven and Terra were both sitting on the couch on either side of Beast Boy. He really didn't want to make any moves, and was grateful the girls hadn't made any either. All they could do was look at the floor and smile. BB had to break the news to the two of them one of these days, but decided that today was not that day - especially when he was going to be alone for 5 more hours. Terra was the first to speak. "Hey - how about we run the obstacle course?" Beast Boy thought it was a good idea, as did Raven - until Terra continued - "Handcuffed to each other!" Not such a good idea. The Titans did this as an exercise all the time, even handcuffed. However, this was a different occasion.
The obstacle course was not exactly the most fun thing one could do. Laser shooting robots popped up everywhere. Rocks went flying, there was running, there was climbing, and things exploded. Once the three of them were handcuffed, and Beast Boy's was specially fitted by Raven so he couldn't morph out of it, they were off. Terra used her powers to bring a rock for them to float on, and Raven used her powers to shield them. Beast Boy was only there for company. After about 2 minutes, they reached the end of the obstacle course with no harm done.
Or was there? Terra had accidentally dropped the key for the 'cuffs on the obstacle course. Without thinking, Beast Boy ran for it, dragging the other two along. Unfortunately, this set off the laser shooting robots. Not good. Beast Boy grabbed the key, and prepared to undo the lock, when one of the robots blasted the key into 50 pieces. Very... not... good.
Starfire sat in the dentist's chair, waiting for her 3rd dentist to show up. After about 25 minutes, he did. Dr. Wayne. He was a rather good dentist, until he prodded Starfire's loose tooth with his poker. One starbolt later, and Dr. Wayne was a dentist's uniform on the floor. Robin sighed, and Cyborg didn't realize that it was already 2:15. Beast Boy's predictions were currently on tap - Robin was expecting a 6:30 return.
The fourth dentist was a Dr. Kent. He was a nice guy, and he did most of Starfire's teeth just fine. She didn't blast him to oblivion with a starbolt, or eye beams, but he couldn't get her to take her fluoride. She claimed it looked like a poison from her planet. Robin agreed to take it with her, just to get out of there faster. She agreed, and it went fine. Then it was time for the X-Rays of her mouth. Star screamed, thinking he said X-rated, and blasted him. A fifth dentist was needed. Star was doing more business for the undertaker than for the dentist.
Beast Boy, Terra, and Raven returned to the couch, all handcuffed to one another. Terra had tried crushing the links with rocks, and Raven had tried "Azarath Metrion Zinthos"ing the chains off, but to no avail. Thanks to Raven, Beast Boy couldn't change out of his cuffs. He really hoped they could think of something before the others came home, or he would have even more explaining to do. There had to be something. The steak knife didn't work. The scissors didn't work. Maybe some of Robin's utility tools would do the trick - hopefully he had an extra utility belt in his room.
Raven tried to grab the belt off the high shelf first. While she was distracted, Terra told Beast Boy to meet him at a restaurant (the same one he and Raven had gone to) at 8:30 tomorrow night. In order to not incur her wrath, he politely agreed. She gave him a big hug and gave a flutter of her eyelashes. Beast Boy gave a smile back, and Raven came up empty handed. Terra went for the belt next. Raven put BB's arm around her (without asking), and told him that she was going to meet him at the movie theatre at 5:00. He didn't exactly have a choice, seeing as it was Raven. She gave him a big hug too, and cuddled in close. Tomorrow was going to be another long day - except in reverse. Terra came up empty-handed too. Doing something he should have done from the beginning, BB turned into an octopus and used his other 6 arms not stuck in handcuffs to grab the utility belt.
One by one, they attempted to use the utility belt's tools. Nothing was working. Robin's grappling hook? Useless. His boomerang? Useless. His Swiss army knife? It did about as much as the Swiss Army during the Second World War. It looked like Beast Boy, Raven, and Terra were stuck together until the rest of the Titans got home - not that Terra and Raven minded. Beast Boy basically found himself trapped like meat in a sandwich - and he didn't like meat.
The secretary walked in to the dentist's office. It was 4:00. She informed Starfire and Robin that there were no more dentists within 15 miles, and that Star might as well go home. Another appointment wasn't necessary. Starfire began to get upset, but Robin assured her that it was all going to be fine. Robin wondered if it was a good idea to take her to her physical in two weeks. He decided it wasn't, and took Starfire back to the T-Car.
The ride home was a quiet one. Starfire refused to talk, and spent the entire time looking out her window, trying to imagine what Beast Boy, Raven, and Terra were doing. Cyborg worried that by the time they got home, Beast Boy would be dead (even though they were an hour and a half ahead of schedule). Robin had no idea what was going on, and was busy thinking about either Star or Slade depending on if the time ended with an even or odd number. He didn't even notice when Cy got the car up to 115 miles an hour to reach Beast Boy in time. Starfire did. She screamed. The T-Car went tumbling off a cliff.
Starfire pulled Cyborg and Robin to safety. She couldn't say the same for the T-Car. It exploded in a ball of flame at the bottom of the hill. Cyborg's eyes bulged out of his head, and Starfire gave a muffled "I am sorry..." The only reason Cyborg didn't explode too was because Robin had enough money for a taxi. (seeing as how they didn't have to pay the dentist). They hailed a taxi and were on their way home after surveying the wreckage and salvaging what they could - it was now 6:15. (Funny how things work out)
Beast Boy was now whimpering - and he also had to use the bathroom. There was no way he could hide his double-relationship thing for much longer, what with the two girls both resting on one shoulder, still attached by the two handcuffs. This was going to be the most awkward thing he had ever done, and it looked like he was going to have no date for tomorrow instead of two. That's right about when Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg re-entered. At 6:30. Just like Beast Boy figured they would. The first thing that occurred was Cyborg taking a picture of the girls stuck to Beast Boy and looking for affection. Beast Boy still didn't know why the girls hadn't gone at each other's throats yet - maybe they hadn't noticed. Yeah - they definitely hadn't noticed.
Robin checked to see if his utility belt had anything to cut the handcuffs. Terra assured him that they had already tried, and nothing was going to work. Starfire tried using her starbolts to no avail - they were much more effective on dentists, Robin remarked, to elicit an "ooh-kay..." from Raven. Cyborg, however, were able to free the girls from Beast Boy using his acetylene-torch finger. Beast Boy was very greatly relieved, and sprinted for the bathroom. Raven and Terra went up to their rooms.
Terra flipped through the pages of her magazines. She imagined each of the muscular hunks to have green skin and Beast Boy's dopey expression (yeah - very weird). She was very excited about tomorrow's fancy dinner date. Raven sat in her room meditating. She couldn't believe that she actually asked to go to the movies. That wasn't much like her - but then again, not much that she did in the past couple of days was.
Beast Boy came out of the bathroom shaking his head. Instead of a dinner date with Raven and movies with Terra, as he had done yesterday, tomorrow he had a dinner date with Terra and movies with Raven - in the exact same places! He looked at Cyborg, who was playing video games again by himself since Robin and Starfire had disappeared. Robin was probably playing with Star's grebnacks again (if this sounds incredibly disturbing to you, you probably haven't read chapter 2 yet.)
Beast Boy sat down on the couch sighing audibly. Cyborg asked him what was the matter. "Well, I've got two dates again tomorrow, dude - they're gonna find out! I know they're gonna find out! I had a tough enough time of it today keeping them off me! You saw what happened with the handcuffs!" Cyborg paused before speaking. "Uh... yeah - why exactly were you handcuffed together?!" Beast Boy huffed. "Training". Cyborg gave a snide "Yeah, sure." He was going to be absolutely no help whatsoever until Aqualad arrived home.
At 8 o' clock sharp, Aqualad did arrive home. The three guys went up to Beast Boy's room and went over the days events - when Aqualad popped the tape into the VCR to prove it, things got interesting. Cyborg apologized when he saw that the handcuffs were for training. Beast Boy was rather livid that Aqualad taped the entire ordeal, but Aqualad calmed him down by giving advice for his dates tomorrow. "Just do the same thing you did yesterday, but don't mess up their names - that'll blow the cover immediately!" Not exactly good advice, but it was enough for Beast Boy. He called Robin down and the two of them played video games as the night wore on.
What will Beast Boy do tomorrow? Will Terra and Raven find out about this debacle? What is Kitten's prom dress doing in Aqualad's pack? Find out in the next chapter!
Continue to read and review, I appreciate it all!