Chapter 12 – Crossing the Line
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: None
Season: Beginning of Season 7, but no spoilers
Summary: Sam and Jack attend Sara's wedding
Pairings: Sam/Jack
Disclaimer: None of these people belong to me (sadly)Author's Note: The penultimate chapter guys! Can't believe we're almost there – please keep reading and reviewing because I'm loving the feedback
Thanks: My beta's rule!
When Jack realised the wedding was only two weeks away he realised something else, it hadn't been easy for Sara to come over and invite him. Despite all her complaining over him not mentioning Carmen, she'd left it until two weeks before the date before telling him. For that he was grateful, it gave him less time to worry about it. He just wanted it to be over.
"It was a nice wedding wasn't it?" Sam commented as they sat together eating a selection from the buffet.
"Yeah," Jack smiled, it had been a nice wedding, Sara had looked stunning, the ceremony was perfect, but it all reminded him painfully of his own wedding.
"Was your wedding like this?" she asked reading his thoughts, and then caught herself, "Sorry, we don't have to talk about it."
"Carter, it's fine."
Sam frowned at the use of her surname, she'd grown more and more used to hearing her name roll off his tongue, that it almost a surprise her to hear her surname.
"It was a lot like this," He continued, "Of course we were younger."
She smiled, "This is the type of wedding I'd always imagined when I was younger."
"And now...?" He raised an eyebrow and she smiled sarcastically.
"Now weddings aren't exactly the first thing on my mind."
"No?" He was teasing her.
"When I was younger I had visions of having a massive wedding, raising a family, white picket fence and all that. But now I realise there are more important things I'm meant to be doing."
"Saving the world?"
"And that's just for starters," She grinned.
"And you don't think you can have a family and save the world."
"You know more than anyone how hard having a partner outside the Air Force is, especially with something as top secret as the Stargate project. I'm not sure how I'm going to work at the SGC and look after Carmen, let alone find a husband!" She forced a laugh but Jack could see hints of regret in her eyes as she watched Sara dance, "I don't want to lie about my life to a husband, it's hard enough already."
'You wouldn't have to lie to me.' He thought, but bit it back and continued, "You never think that maybe we've done our bit, saved the world enough times. Maybe it's time to let someone else fight the fight?"
"All the time." She admitted, "Especially lately, but I just can't turn my back on it, it's too amazing, too important. Could you?"
"No." As much as part of him would love to pack it all in and set up home with Sam it wasn't something he could just leave behind. He caught Sam glancing at Sara again and stood up. Holding out his hand he said, as casually as possible, "Dance Major?"
She blushed, and for a second looked awkward, but then that cool military training set in and she stood up smiling. Taking his hand she grinned, "Of course Colonel."
Sam would never have thought that something as simple as dancing, something she had done countless times, could set off so many sensations. With one hand snaked around her back and the other still clinging awkwardly to her hand he pulled her to him. At first she was unsure what to do with her free hand but eventually set it lightly by his neck.
The music started, slow and steady, gently they moved together, making light conversation as they danced.
Neither was actually concentrating on the talking, all their senses were keying into the few places they were touching. As they swayed, Sam's hand accidentally brushed against Jack's neck; the hairs stood upright and a sudden, wonderful tingling sensation rippled down him spine.
Their hands, first linked in an awkward bind, gradually moved as they talked so eventually their fingers were intertwined and their palms pressed together. The music grew deeper and the couples around them became more intimate and subconsciously they too moved closer together.
Jack could feel her hot breath beating against his face, they'd stopped talking and were just staring into each other's eyes, both willing the other to do something but praying that they wouldn't.
Somewhere a waiter dropped a tray.
They didn't flinch.
Jack couldn't help himself; he gave into the temptation to stroke his thumb along the palm of her hand. Her lips parted and he heard a small gasp escape. "Sam," He whispered, his voice tight and rasping in his throat as he struggled to speak.
"Shh..." She said, stepping closer to him - she removed any remaining space between them, "Just dance with me." She laid her head against his shoulder and he pulled her closer.
Jack looked down at her, her eyes were closed and a slight smile set on her lips. He was glad her eyes were closed, for once it left him free to stare at her, to memorise every detail. He drew a sharp breath in as her hand ran up his neck and brushed through his hair. He gave her waist a small squeeze and spread his palm across her back. It was easy this way, easy to forget that they couldn't be together. Nothing was said, and without eye contact no emotion could be displayed, emotion that was dangerous and led to other things...
Opening her eyes Sam looked straight up into his. She'd intended to open them and suggest it was time they headed home, but the moment her eyes met his she found herself unable to speak. She wanted to look away, for fear of what might happen if she held his gaze a second longer, but she defied her better judgement. She wanted to keep staring into those eyes, eyes overflowing with love and emotion, fed up with this dance they did, she wanted to see what happened after the heated glances.
She was aware of his her head moving toward his, she could feel his breath growing warmer on her face but she wasn't purposefully heading for a court martial, she wasn't even thinking...
Their lips touched ever so gently. It was barely a whisper of a touch, so hesitant and cautious...for a second their lips just lingered, barely touching, then, as if some unknown signal had been given, then moved together.
"Could I have your attention please?" A voice cut over the music and Sam and Jack leapt apart as if they'd been shot. "A red Vauxhall has been left with its lights on in the parking lot..." The groomsman continued to give out the licence plate number.
"We should go." Sam rushed as they moved clumsily towards the table.
"Yeah I'm a little tired," Jack said hurriedly, grabbing his jacket, "I'll just go tell Sara we're leaving." He called as he left and headed for Sara.
"Sure." Sam said to herself, sitting down at the table and gathering her things. Unable to decide if she was relieved or frustrated.
In the car journey home both were silent, keeping their eyes firmly fixed on the night road ahead.
"I should call Daniel." Sam's voice cut into the silence making Jack jump.
"What?" His mind still lingering on the near-kiss.
"Tell him we're going to be late." She indicated to the traffic ahead of them.
"Oh right, yeah sure." He agreed remembering they were meant to be picking up Carmen from Daniel's; he kept his eyes on the road.
"Jack could you at least look at me?" Sam practically pleaded.
"I'm driving." He pointed out.
"You know what I mean."
"Call Daniel." He replied, refusing to acknowledge anything.
"Fine." She muttered angrily, pulling out her cell phone.
"Daniel?" She asked at she heard his voice answer the phone, "It's Sam, we're probably not going to make it back before midnight, how is she?"
Jack couldn't hear what Daniel was saying, but to be honest he wasn't really concentrating that hard on trying to hear. His mind was still racing over the evening, he vaguely heard Sam agreeing to pick Carmen up the next morning, and when she turned the phone off and looked at him expectedly he realised she must have asked him something. But it was to late to answer so he keeping his eyes on the road he remained silent, she turned away, leaning her head on the window and pretended to sleep.
It was one o'clock when Jack finally crawled into bed, he was exhausted but he knew he was going to get a restless night, that kiss still haunted his thoughts, played on his mind – what if...? When he finally did fall into an uneasy sleep he only managed an hour before he was woken again...
Screaming, Sam woke up with a jolt to feel Jack's hands gently shaking her. "Sam, wake up." He was whispering urgently, "It's just a dream."
Her eyes snapped open as she realised where she was, "Jack," She whispered, near tears.
"It's okay, I'm here."
"They were taking her, taking her away, and...and..." She stuttered, her heart racing.
"Shh, it's over, you're here and you're safe, Carmen is with Daniel." He pulled her into his arms and she lay there trembling for a few moments. As her mind stopped racing she became acutely aware of his strong arms surrounding her, his bare skin pressing against her arms as her held her. She could feel the loud thudding of his heart and his short breath against her neck. This whole...situation was unreal...
"You okay?" He asked softly as they drew apart.
"Yeah." She whispered, breathing fast. His hands still clung to her, though they held her at arms length. Slowly he released one hand and gently stroked her face. Running his finger lightly over her features he gave a smile, his eyes staring longingly at her, taking in every detail of her face.
'It was now or never.' Thought Sam, that line they'd worked so hard to stay behind had been crossed long ago. There was no longer a clear distinction between Colonel O'Neill – her CO and Jack – her friend, the father of her child, the man she'd loved for so long.
Everything they'd ever felt for each other had been brought to the surface when they'd looked into the eyes of their daughter. Their daughter, who should have been created through their love but instead had been forced into their lives. Yet the love was there, and in any other situation she would have been a result of it, through her existence that love has blossomed.
"Jack," She started.
He stopped his gentle caressing of her face, "Sorry." He looked away.
"I love you." She finished, for once stating it boldly.
He didn't say anything, he didn't have to.
As his lips touched hers a feeling of familiarity washed over Sam, she remembered so clearly kissing him on the Prometheus – it hadn't been real – all part of the hallucinations that had seemed so real at the time. But now, here, like this she could plainly see how unreal that was – those sensations had been nothing to this. Nothing to feeling his arms slowly wrap around her as he pulled her deeper into the kiss, nothing to feeling his fingers tremble as he touched her face in wonder. This was real.
As soon as he was certain she was kissing him back Jack pulled her closer to him and gathered her in his arms. Kissing her was unlike anything else; a crazy, whirling pool of sensations, his heart was pounding so fast that he could barely think. He'd kissed her before – so long ago now, but this was different – infinitely better. That kiss had been a whim, something he'd done because he'd thought he'd never get the chance again, and when it had ended he'd had to live with the reality that she would never know, never remember, because it never happened. But this – she would remember this, this kiss – so full of pent up emotion, the love, that had been trapped for so long, finally escaped.