Hello! The last chapter was quite long, wasn't it? Actually, I didn't realize it until Fireruby mentioned it in her review. So this time, the chapter is going to be shorter…but I'm going to post the next chapter at the same time.
So who is Sayuri and what does she want with our rurouni? Some of you had your own theories. They were actually pretty dramatic. Like Starkitty Angel thought that Sayuri is Kenshin's daughter…hmmm, interesting…or WhiteRabbit5 had asked whether it was a sue…hmmm, interesting too…So you see? Now I got to deliver this really dramatic 'personal' business with Kenshin! And you know what? My idea isn't that dramatic at all! (I'm still sticking to my original story that I already have outlined, although I am tempted to replace it.) I just know that I'm letting you down! I'm in way over my head here! Oh, well, if you still want to read my story…go ahead…if not, I'll understand…
*on my knees, hands clutched, pleading desperately "Oh, please, please, please read it! I'll give you all of my earthly possessions if you do!"*
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. In a perfect world I would, but I live in the real world…and sadly I ain't got no money…so, it's utterly useless to sue me…but for good measure: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin, but Nobuhiro Watsuki and a bunch of other people do…
On with the madness…
Promises From the PastSayuri saw him standing just inside the door and gave him a bittersweet smile, "Hello, Himura Kenshin."
But Kenshin replied with only one word, "Ran…"
Chopsticks and ThreatsSano, Yahiko and Kaoru looked at Kenshin in surprise.
Ran…a single name, without an honorific, laden with some deep emotion.
There was complete silence as five people just stood there looking at each other.
He recognizes her! Sano thought.
Kami-sama, he knows her! Kaoru's tortured mind screamed.
I finally found you! Sayuri's thoughts went.
This can't be… Kenshin's mind argued.
I thought her name was Sayuri? Yahiko's troubled thoughts asked.
And then suddenly, as if coming out of a trance, Kenshin moved towards the porch to get a better look at this familiar stranger. Staring at her, his mind argued with the logic of his heart. But she was there… in the flesh…looking at him…just like so many years before.
Then she smiled…. the same smile Kenshin had never forgotten.
"My mother would have been so pleased to know that you remembered her name," Sayuri said softly.
Startled, Kenshin took a small step back and frowned at Sayuri. And then he saw it. The woman standing in front of him wasn't her.
At first glance she looked exactly like her, but now, in the aftermath of his initial shock, he could see the differences. Subtle though they were, he could see them. And her ki was different too. It was similar enough to the other woman's that it felt familiar, but somehow it was fresher, stronger…more forceful. Then again, the difference wasn't that unfamiliar…it was like…But it couldn't be… Kenshin's thoughts denied.
"I'm sorry… you startled me," Kenshin said when he found his voice again.
Sayuri smiled apologetically, "I didn't mean to."
Kaoru looked from Kenshin to Sayuri and then back. 'How do you know her?' she wanted to scream at Kenshin.
Kenshin gave a small smile, "At first glance, you look just like Ran."
Sayuri smiled warmly at him, "She would have loved to hear someone say that I'm undeniably her daughter because I look like her…for once."
Then, she smiled ruefully, "Maybe I should have introduced myself properly. I'm Sayuri, her daughter."
There was an awkward silence again, as Kenshin and Sayuri just looked at each other. Taking each other in.
Meanwhile, Yahiko, Sano and Kaoru had the same thought Who is Ran?
Kenshin broke the silence, "I did not know that she was married."
Sayuri, with a sad smile, answered softly, "She fell in love."
Kenshin and Sayuri continued staring at each other, seemingly lost in memory.
Kaoru spoke up, "Maybe we should go inside to continue this."
Kenshin and Sayuri both turned to Kaoru, who was standing beside the door, motioning for them to go inside.
Sayuri nodded, "Hai, maybe we should."
She walked up the porch and Kenshin stepped aside to let her go in first. He waited for Kaoru to go inside too. Before she did, she gave Kenshin a questioning look. Kenshin gave her one that seemed to say 'I'm sorry, I don't know either'. He went inside after Kaoru and both Yahiko and Sano followed.
Once inside, there was another moment of awkwardness, as Sayuri noticed the food already placed on the table.
"Maybe I should come back after lunch," she suggested.
But Kaoru took her arm and led her to a place at the head of the table, "Don't be silly. You're our guest, so you'll have lunch here. After lunch, we can talk."
Unsure, Sayuri looked at Kenshin. He gave her an encouraging smile. Sano, seemingly heedless of the tension in the room, was already sitting at the table, a rice bowl in his one hand and chopsticks in the other.
Looking up, he saw the others still standing around.
Answering only to the demands of his hungry stomach he pointed at Sayuri with his chopsticks, "Oh, for food's sake, woman, sit down and have lunch! This drama is making me hungry. That damn business of yours isn't going to change if you sit down and eat, is it?"
Kaoru glared at Sano, "Sanosuke, mind your manners!"
But Sayuri chuckled and sat down, "Aye, aye, Sir!"
Kaoru took a seat next to Sano and grumbled towards him, "Would it have been too much to expect sensitivity from you in this situation? Even Yahiko had the good manners to wait."
But Sano was already stuffing his face and so completely ignored her. Yahiko beamed at his master for being praised with 'good manners'.
However, Sayuri had heard Kaoru's words and said soothingly, "That's alright, Kaoru-san. It probably wouldn't have been Sano if he'd acted otherwise."
Sano heard that and turned to Sayuri, "Womamph, I domp no wha wu have againwsth me, buw Iw pwobthwly dothn dewseve iwt."
Sayuri looked at him primly, "Don't talk with your mouth full, Sano. And I don't have anything against you. You're just easy to tease, that's all."
Kaoru grinned and Yahiko snickered. Sano glared at each one of them. The previous tension seemed to have been broken.
Sensing the change in the ki of the room, Kenshin, who was quietly observing the other four, turned to Sayuri and gave her a fond rurouni smile, "You have your mother's gift."
At the mention of Sayuri's mother, the unknown variable, the tension went right up again. Not sure what would be a safe conversation topic, the five people in the room ate their meal in silence. The occasional slurping, clicking of chopsticks against the side of rice bowls and other dishes was all that could be heard.
But just because there was no talking at the table, didn't mean there was no conversation in their heads.
Kenshin was chewing carefully while he thought about the dream he woke up to this morning. Maybe it was a message for me
Sayuri was picking up some pickled vegetables from a small dish. I could use your help right now, Mother. I feel like a complete intruder!
Sano was shuffling rice into his mouth at an enormous speed and quantity. I hope I don't get indigestion from eating too much…then again, I could use that as an excuse to go see that kitsune…what is the world getting to when a man needs to get an upset stomach to see his woman…why do I even bother with her anyway…hmmm…there's more beef. Deftly he snatched up some more beef with his chopsticks.
Kaoru was daintily chewing her rice, too lost in thought to actually enjoy the meal. First Tomoe and now this Ran woman…how many other women does Kenshin have hiding in his closet? Will he ever bother to tell me about them? He's such an idiot sometimes! Kenshin no baka! Angry at Kenshin for springing another woman on her, Kaoru gripped her chopsticks as if she meant to do it physical harm.
Yahiko watched Sano as he continued shuffling in vast quantities of food. That greedy ahou! I hope he gets indigestion from eating too much! Then he'll have to go see Megumi…hahahaha…she'll let him hear it…oooh, there's some beef left… And before Sano could get to it, Yahiko stuffed it into his mouth.
***
The meal was finished. The dishes were cleared and now soaking in a tub in the kitchen. Three faces where looking at Sayuri expectantly, waiting for her to begin. Kenshin was looking at a spot on the table, and Sayuri was staring at her lap.
Then she looked up and surveyed the faces of the other people in the room, "Now that I'm here, I don't know where to begin."
The four waited for her to continue. Sayuri took a deep breath, as if steeling herself for a big ordeal.
Exhaling, Sayuri sat up and said, "Okay, here goes… my mother sent me here to see Himura-san."
Kenshin looked at her, "Please, call me Kenshin, Sayuri-dono. Sessha doesn't deserve such formality."
Sayuri had to smile at Kenshin's polite, formal words, "I don't …alright…Ken…Kenshin. But getting back to why I am here… my mother asked me to see you, Himu… Kenshin."
Kenshin smiled at a fond memory of the woman Sayuri was talking about, "How is Ran-dono?"
Sayuri briefly glanced away, and then softly said, "She passed away seven months ago." A flicker of pain crossed Sayuri's face. Then it was replaced by a look of resigned acceptance.
Kenshin felt himself grieve for the woman who had made his past more livable. Looking at Sayuri with compassionate eyes, he said, "I'm sorry for your loss. She was a wonderful woman."
"She would have loved to hear you say that," Sayuri replied, accepting his words of condolence, understanding that this man grieved for her mother too.
There was that silence again, as two people were lost in memories of a wonderful woman who was forever lost to them. Sayuri happened to look at the faces of Kaoru, Sano and Yahiko, who had sat there silently witnessing the exchange, still with that expectant expression on their faces.
"I'm sorry, I'm not getting to the point am I? You probably must be thinking who my mother was to Himu…Kenshin," Sayuri said to the three.
She could see that Sano and Yahiko were both eager to find out, but when she looked at Kaoru she saw a reluctance, as if Kaoru did not want to know. She sensed pain and hurt coming from the other woman, as Kaoru briefly glanced at Kenshin and then looked down at her lap.
She glanced at Kenshin to see if he saw that look, but he was staring at that spot on the table again.
Sighing, she tried to put the woman at ease, "It's nothing sinister or dramatic or anything along that vein. Maybe the whole handling of the situation made you think that my mother was Himu…Kenshin's lover…"
At the word 'lover', Kaoru glanced at Kenshin again. Sayuri saw her and made up her mind.
She turned to Kenshin and suggested softly, "Maybe you should tell them about her."
Kenshin looked up as he heard Sayuri address him directly. He saw her glance at Kaoru, and he did the same.
He saw her looking down at her lap. But now he could sense the feeling of pain emanating from her. Her ki was laden with it. And he understood at this moment that he had hurt her again by not talking about his past. He glanced at Sayuri, saw her smiling encouragingly, and he felt gratitude towards this woman for beings so much like her mother.
Kenshin cleared his throat and addressed the three people who had become his family in the three years he had spent with them.
"Sayuri-dono is right," he said in his gentle rurouni voice, "Maybe it's for me to talk about Ran-dono."
Hearing Kenshin's voice, Kaoru looked up and saw him looking directly at her.
He continued, "I do not like to talk about the days when I was him because there's still so much pain and grief that accompanies those memories. I do not mean to hurt you by keeping these things to myself," he gave Kaoru a look that asked for understanding, "I am just not ready to share all of it with you."
He glanced at Sayuri, and she nodded, encouraging him to go on.
"But maybe I should have shared with you this happy memory of my past," Kenshin continued.
Kaoru inhaled sharply, remembering the last time Kenshin had talked about a happy memory from his past. It was then that she found out about Tomoe, the woman who had been Kenshin's wife. The woman who Kenshin had loved. It had broken her heart then.
She didn't want to hear any more, for she didn't think that she could survive if her heart got broken again. But something kept her there. Maybe it was curiosity. Or maybe it was her gentle rurouni's pleading look that asked for understanding. Whatever it was it kept her there, because she loved this man, no matter what she learned about his past.
Kenshin was speaking softly, "I was a hard person during the days of the Bakumatsu. I guess it came from not growing up in a loving family. The last women who really cared for me were those who had died for me. Then I stayed with Shishou, and he isn't the worlds most sensitive guy," this was said a bit sarcastically,
"He changed my name…because if was too gentle for a swordsman…Then I joined the revolution, and became him…I saw and did things as the Hitokiri Battousai that would have broken down a gentler person, but gentleness was no longer something I recognized in me nor expected from a person. Respect, awe, reverence, admiration and, yes, fear, most of all, is what I expected from other people when they regarded me, when they met me, when they were killed by me…"
Kenshin paused, as the old feelings of guilt and remorse over that part of his past washed over him. He had accepted a long time ago that he could never change his past and that he had to live for the future, but sometimes, he still felt pain when he remembered his days as the Hitokiri Battousai.
He looked at Yahiko, who has listening raptly, at Sano, who regarded him solemnly, at Kaoru, who had a gentle understanding in her face and lastly at Sayuri who still had that smile of encouragement on her lips.
Then Kenshin felt better, freer, because he now would talk about a happy memory.
"That was how I existed as him. He didn't need anybody. He didn't want anybody. He sure didn't need gentleness, never would ask for something he didn't know how to give…until one day…a woman gave it to him freely…and it changed him."
Kenshin paused again and took a deep breath to continue, "I was sick that time. I had fever so high that a lesser man would have become insane from its heat. Even though I was so sick that I couldn't move, I didn't allow anybody to help me. I stayed in my room, willing the fever to go away. The innkeeper and other ladies had volunteered to nurse me, but I remembered snarling at them to stay away. And they did, probably afraid of what the Hitokiri Battousai would do if he were disobeyed. I didn't want them to nurse me because I felt that I didn't need them."
"For one whole day I stayed in that room, lying on the futon, feeling like the fires of hell had taken residence in my body. Just when I was convinced that the devil was here to claim his own, I felt a hand on my forehead. It felt smooth, cool and…gentle."
"I remember feeling angry at whoever had the audacity to disobey my order and opened my eyes to snarl at the person. And I stopped… because what I saw in those brown eyes that were looking back at me was something I had not seen for a long time… it was concern… for me. This stranger was concerned for me. I remember resisting at first. I tried to intimidate her. I played up the ruthless Hitokiri part so that she would leave me alone…but she didn't. Instead, she ignored all my glares and growls and veiled threats and kept on nursing me…
***
"Leave me alone, woman!" an angry Kenshin yelled.
"Not until you finish this cup," came the calm reply.
"Damn it to hell! I already told you that I don't want your help! Don't you understand simple Japanese?" Kenshin pushed the woman's hand holding the cup away, "Do you know who I am? I'm the Nightmare of Kyoto! I could kill you in your sleep if I wanted to!" he snarled savagely.
The woman, who was wiping up the liquid that had sloshed out of the cup when Kenshin pushed it away, stopped and looked the Nightmare of Tokyo right in the eye and softly said, "I can do the same to you."
Shocked that this woman had dared to imply that she could kill the Hitokiri Battousai, Kenshin just looked at her with round eyes.
The woman took the opportunity to place the cup to his lips, tipped it a bit and said, "Drink."
And he did, all the while studying this woman, who looked fragile and delicate but had issued a death threat to the feared assassin. Not with harsh words… but with gentle words, in a gentle voice, that though he might never would have admitted it to her at that time, Kenshin found soothing.
When he was finished with the cup, she placed it on the small black lacquered tray beside her, picked up the tray and stood up to leave the room. A few steps before the door, Kenshin stopped her with words.
"Why are you doing this? Did Katsura-sama ask you to do this?"
Her back still to him, she answered, "No, Kogoro didn't ask me to do this for him."
"Then why?" came the somehow confused question.
"Because you needed nursing," the woman opened the sliding doors.
Confused even more by her reply, Kenshin blurted out, "What is your name?"
The woman stepped through the open door and turned to him fully and regally stated, "My name is Ran. But I'm not giving you permission to use it."
Then she slid the doors close and left Kenshin feeling annoyed and confused.
***
"I never had a woman best me in that way when I was the Hitokiri Battousai. Not until I met her," Kenshin chuckled.
Sayuri chuckled too and said, "That sounds so like Mother."
Kenshin smiled fondly at Sayuri, "She was a wonderful woman, that she was."
Kaoru had looked at Kenshin's face while he was talking about his past with Sayuri's mother. She had heard that gentle affection and adoration in his voice and seen the same kind of affection in his eyes as he talked of her. Kaoru's thoughts went back to the other time Kenshin had talked about a woman in his past. And she recognized something, because it had been there too.
"You loved her, didn't you?" the soft query came from Kaoru's lips. But she knew it wasn't a question. It was a certainty.
And Kenshin nodded, "Yes, I did."
Kaoru thought her heart would break again, but it didn't, because Kenshin said these next words:
"She was like a mother to me."
On to the next chapter…
___
Disappointed? Feeling like I let you down? I'm sorry, I really am… I warned you that Sayuri's relationship with Kenshin wasn't that dramatic, but the story isn't finished yet…
You can either review first or go on to the next chapter immediately.
*Note: All my earthly possessions consist of: one (partially eaten) Snickers bar, a pair of bunny slippers with one of the ears 'amputated' and a bald Barbie doll.