Disclaimer – Everything apart from Marina Matthews belongs to J.K. Rowling. Marina's mine and I'm just having fun with everything else so do not sue.

A/N – Snape's POV.

Annoyance

Finally his tied first most fervent wish had come true. Well, almost. The Potter brat was still breathing and effortlessly causing trouble. Still, Matthews had stopped making his life a misery by constantly popping up to cheerfully ask him if he'd changed his mind. For once, she'd stopped pestering him and hadn't talked back on the unfairness of him taking off points. He hoped that that it was a sign of her turning over a new leaf. With any luck, her annoying him would only be restricted to classes.

Pleased that he'd scared her off, he mused on her different and out of character walk. There was something familiar about it…

Laughter made him look up. He wasn't quite sure who'd started it, but the entire hall was laughing, save him. That meant that they were laughing at him. His eyes narrowed as he stormed out of the hall. Somehow or other, this had to be the fault of that Matthews girl. Her uncharacteristic withdrawal without a word made her seem guilty of something or other. Then again, this was Matthews and she was guilty of something at nearly all times.

Entering his class, he found a Hufflepuff third year already inside, working on a potion. The boy hadn't been at breakfast from the looks of it. For some reason, the boy was gaping at a spot above his head, seemingly so shocked, he looked an idiot. Well, more of one then normal. An ingredient slipped into the cauldron from the boy's nerveless fingers. The resulting explosion knocked them both off their feet.

When Snape next opened his eyes, he was in his room the next day. Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey knew that he didn't like being in the infirmary unless seriously ill. Even then, he was screened off. So he guessed that she'd transferred him to his rooms after treating him. He must have hit his head for he could have sworn he saw a bat flying above his head. He had no tolerance for animals of any kind unless they were snakes, so had no pets. Head of Slytherin he might be, but Dumbledore wouldn't let him keep a snake. Plus, the only animals in his rooms were dead and pickled for potions. So that didn't explain the bat he swore he saw.

Getting out of bed, he headed for his mirror to check the damage done to him. No bruises or cuts on his face. Skin as sallow as ever, hair greasy and…a bat did its business on his hair.

With a yell, he blasted up at the bats above his head with his wand. More and more bats appeared out of nowhere, a dark cloud of them above his head. They just wouldn't go away, no matter what he did. Looking back into the mirror, he saw what he had missed earlier. A black hourglass with his name upon it floated above his head. The bats were swooping around it, like a leathery and ugly swarm. The hourglass had points in it and resisted all his efforts to make it go away.

How had it got there without his notice? He knew each time a wand was pointed at him by a student. He was pretty sure that a student was responsible. When did it happen…? His mind went through the previous day's happenings. Only one student had acted out of character and that was –

'Matthews, I know you're in there!' he yelled, banging on Sir Cadogan's portrait. The knight portrait was doing his best to stay out of the way of the furious professor. He'd throttle the girl as soon as he got his hands on her – after she got rid of the hourglass and bats. He'd initially cursed, swore and raged about what he'd allowed to happen. After all, she had got the best of him, casting her spells right in front of him and he'd done nothing to stop her. He hadn't even known that she was doing so and had let his guards down. After composing himself, he took his wand out to track down his new, most hated student.

He'd imagined the ways he'd make her pay as he went after her. Perhaps he'd personally dangle her off the Astronomy Tower. Or he could just shove her off it. He'd happily look forward to Azkaban for her murder – the Gryffindor girl deserved to die. Now here he was, banging on her portrait. He didn't know the password and wouldn't be let in.

There was a sudden annoyingly cheery tune from above his head. He looked up to see twenty points being retracted and bat guano dropped into his shocked, open mouth. Choking and gagging, he spat the foul stuff out, retching and heaving with his disgust.

'Why professor Snape, one would think you'd never come across your little friends before,' came a cheery voice.

'Matthews, you've got ten seconds to cancel the spell or I'll have you expelled –' He got no further as the bats all dove at him, shrieking, biting and clawing at him. They were all attacking him, showing no mercy and flapping like mad. He was doing his best to fend them off and protect himself. He dimly heard a man chuckling and the bats moved away, flying above his head again. Dumbledore stood in front of the girl, looking greatly amused.

Peering at him from behind Dumbledore, Matthews said, 'You know professor Snape, I'm surprised. I'd thought that the bats wouldn't harm you as you are one of them. Albeit one that's larger and in my opinion more mean. Hmm, I'd say ten points off Professor Snape for that horrible look. You might want to be careful as your face might just freeze like that and never change.'

'Miss Matthews, take off a further ten points for language inappropriate for a teacher in front of an impressionable student,' said Dumbledore, eyes twinkling. The points were retracted, the tune getting louder, longer and even more annoyingly cheery. How he wished he could commit murder with a glare. From the looks of it, only the girl could give and take points. He was doomed to constantly hear the annoying tunes as she took away points. Something told him that she'd happily and cheerfully take off as much as she could, as many times as possible. At least she had only ten points left to take and the hourglass wouldn't go into the minus numbers.

'Take the spells off,' he hissed, shaking with rage.

'I won't until you act nicer, less mean and are fairer. As well as letting me stay with Lucinda,' she added as if it went without saying. 'Since you're so points happy when it comes to the students and myself, I got tired of it all. It's time to taste your own poison as muggles say. You might even come out of this with a genuine and nice smile, if not laughter.'

He thought, Not likely.

Dumbledore kindly said, 'It's actually "medicine" instead of "poison", but good saying anyway. Sound reasons Miss Matthews and I wholeheartedly agree with you. My Potions master is a rather dour, humourless man and could do with humour in his life. It's high time he changed to become more sociable towards others. One can't go through life without not once saying a kind word meant sincerely. This is a valuable lesson. Is there anything we should know before you get ready for breakfast?'

She smiled at Snape, the smile promising a world of trouble. 'Well, the bats will attack in cases of unfairness, meanness and injustice. Professor Snape will have to be nicer, fairer and not be the big meanie he is.'

So saying, she went back into her rooms, the portrait closing shut behind her. By lunch, she was nowhere to be seen. What a coward. She called herself a brave Gryffindor? How pathetic. Ignoring his snickering colleagues and students alike, he concentrated on his food. Each time he stabbed his food with his fork, he imagined it were Matthews' face. He couldn't take points or hand out detentions as he used to so this was the most he could do. He was ready to kill her just from the annoying tunes alone as she carried on taking points from him. Each time that happened, he was hit by bat guano and he had a minus number of points. How she had managed that, he didn't know. After all, the house hourglasses didn't go into minus numbers. To make things worse, she didn't need to be near him to take off points. Nor could he be snarky and unpleasant to other students. Even his own house students found his plight entertaining.

Snape refused to give in to the girl and wouldn't give in to her demands. He would not let her into his house, he wouldn't be nice or fair and he absolutely refused to smile for her. During the next few days, he did his best to block his ears of the infuriating tunes. It got to the point that they ran through his mind constantly, refusing to leave. Somehow or other, he wound up with minus a hundred and forty-five points. Students sniggered on seeing his point plaque and Potter was having the time of his life at his situation. The most he could do was glare at the students in ill temper, promising torture when he was free.

The Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Quidditch match came up. Potter's lifelong ban had been unfortunately lifted so he was playing. Since the stands were off the ground, he was certain that the Matthews girl wouldn't be anywhere near the stadium. A small stroke of fortune. He was looking forward to the few hours of Matthew free time and it almost made him feel cheerful.

'Roll up, roll up!' a young voice was calling. Matthews. He cringed and tried to stay out of her sight. She'd ruin his mood for the match if she saw him. Just what was she doing near the Quidditch stadium? Shouldn't she be in a swoon at the thought of heights? Preferably in her rooms back in the castle? 'Get your fluffy snake toys here. Only ten sickles per snake! Bargain! All proceeds to go towards the fund for Professor Snape's birthday present!'

What on earth is wrong with that girl? Not only does she pester the life out of m and humiliate me – now she wants to get me a birthday present. Has she lost what little marbles she had? Why would I want a birthday present from her? I don't even celebrate my birthday and only Dumbledore knows it. It isn't even anywhere near the time for it.

He heard Malfoy's voice ask, 'Matthews, why do you want to get Snape a present? He's bound to throw it away or blast it without even opening it. Especially because it'll be from you. We all know that he hates you even more than Potter – if that's possible.'

'But I am being a cunning Slytherin,' he heard the proud reply. He could just see the proud beam on the girl's face. 'Slytherins bribe each other as you well know. But I don't have that much pocket money so I'll bribe him with a gift. Not just any gift, but a wonderful birthday present. He'll be so pleased with it, he'll let me into Slytherin at once. See, I have a great foolproof evil plan, just like all Slytherins do. Now look here, the fluffy toy snakes will help me get the funds for the most perfect gift in the world. As everyone will contribute, it will be a present from the entire school, not just me. How can he not keep his present when I present it to him?'

'Well, I am sure he'll destroy it whatever it is. Now, just why are you selling snakes?'

'Pre match accessories. Green snakes for Slytherins and the rest are for students of other houses, their colours varying. You can wave your snakes around and the others can strangle theirs. It's a totally evil idea and Harry Potter bought seven of them. He said that they are one for each Slytherin Quidditch player. He put in a request for a white blonde snake, one he called "Ferret". Last I saw him, he was strangling the stuffing out of it.'

'Seven snakes? Well, I want twenty and have them gift wrapped. It'll be worth it to see Potter's face when I send them to him after he loses today. I'd also like to put in an early order for the Gryffindor lion toys you are bound to sell for some reason or other.'

'But I won't – fine, I'll keep aside some lion toys for you. Any special requests?'

'Have one with a scar on its head and I'll call it "Potty". I'll teach Potter…'

'I'm being evil!' she happily cried, before cackling in what she thought was an evil manner. Snape thought it made sound like she had the hiccups. He stood where he was, hearing as she was busily selling the toy snakes. Unfortunately, he couldn't see them as students buying them headed for the stadium. Some time later, the girl happily trundled back to the castle with her profits, Firenze walking her back.

Too late, she saw him. She happily waved at him, beaming. She called over, 'Fifty points to Professor Snape for braving sunlight and not turning to dust!' So saying, she walked away, chattering excitedly to the centaur. He sent up thanks for escaping fairly easily.

With a relieved sigh, Snape headed for the stadium and the teachers' box. The other teachers were holding fluffy toy snakes in various colours, much to his displeasure. Flitwick was nowhere to be seen. McGonagall was enjoying strangling the snakes she held as he glared at her. He'd get that Matthews girl back as soon as he could, even if it was the last thing he'd ever do.

Dumbledore happily thrust a lurid bright green fluffy snake at him. 'Here you are Severus – I saved a Slytherin snake just for you. They were selling like hot cakes and I knew you'd want one.' He eyed the horrible thing with utmost distaste. At the least, the girl could have got the colour right. 'No doubt you're wondering where Miss Matthews is, missing her wonderful presence no doubt. Poppy Pomfrey and Filius Flitwick's taking her to St. Mungo's for a check up. I believe they'll be stopping by Diagon Alley for Miss Matthews to purchase something special for a certain someone,' he finished with a wink.

With the headmaster involved and approving, he was certain of one thing. Whatever was going on – he wasn't going to like it when he found out. In other words, he was doomed. Seeing the amount of snakes around, the girl must have got a fair amount of money for her so called "birthday fund" for him. What would be so expensive from Diagon Alley that she had to get him? He had a sneaky suspicion that it would be something humiliating and he wouldn't be able to rid of. His mind ran through the shops found on Diagon Alley, wondering what she'd get him. He pushed the matter away when the game started.

What would come, would come. Until then, in the words of Moody, he'd have constant vigilance and not let his guard down. It was the only plan he had to survive the insufferable girl and her ridiculous harebrained antics.