Here is the long, long, very overdue next chapter:
A phone rang, but Kenshin ignored the noise. Huddled in his bed under a ton of blankets, Kenshin tried to fall asleep.
But between the coughing fits, the runny nose, his splitting headache and now the incessant ringing of the phone, he found it hard to sink into that blessed oblivion.
"Hello, I'm unavailable right now. Leave me a message and I'll get back to you when I can. BEEP."
Finally, his answering machine picked up the call. He half listened for the message, not intending to get back very soon to whoever was calling.
But at the first words of the caller, Kenshin roused himself to pick up the cordless phone on his desk.
"Hey," he greeted the person on the other side of the line, as he shuffled his way to the kitchen.
"Kenshin, is that you?" a male voice asked in surprise.
"No Sano, it's Nobuhiro Watsuki," he replied gruffly.
"Who?" was the confused query.
"Never mind," Kenshin answered grumpily.
"Are you okay? You sound terrible…" Sano asked, concerned. He'd never heard Kenshin so grumpy before. Plus it sounded like a frog had taken residence in his throat.
"I know, I feel a lot worse too," Kenshin said, opening a cabinet to get out a glass.
He heard some whispering from Sano's side of the line, as he filled his glass with OJ. He grimaced as he swallowed the liquid. Ever since he'd gotten sick, everything tasted like soggy newspaper.
Not that he'd ever tasted soggy newspaper; he just figured it must taste like that if he ever did.
"Flu?" a concerned female voice asked him.
"Hey Megumi," Kenshin greeted Sano's wife.
"Hello, Kenshin. Is it flu?" Megumi asked again, this time more like the doctor she was.
"No just the colds, but it feels a lot worse…" he answered as he shuffled back to his bedroom.
"You men are all like babies when you get sick," she said.
"That's not true!" Sano said from an extension.
And while the two were having their usual banter, Kenshin settled himself back in bed, checking the clock on the nightstand to see if it was time to take his medicine again.
It was funny but the cough medicine he was taking was supposed to make him drowsy, but he wasn't really feeling the effects of it.
"Guys, I really like to hear from you, but I'd like to get some rest now, if that's ok with you," he interrupted Sano and Megumi's War of the Words.
The two instantly stopped fighting, and Megumi said in her best doctor's voice "Fluids and rest, Kenshin, you understand?"
"Yes, Doc, I understand," Kenshin answered Megumi, a slight smile on his lips.
"Okay, I'll call later to check-up on you."
"No need to do that, Megumi, I'll be fine, promise," Kenshin assured her as he closed his eyes while settling himself more comfortably in his bed.
"For Heaven's sake woman, Kenshin's a grown man, he can take care of himself, it's just the colds," Sano said to his wife.
"That from the man who acted like he contracted a rare disease and was dying, the last time he'd gotten sick," Megumi fired back before saying goodbye to Kenshin and reminding him again to take his rest and his fluids.
"The woman's not worth it sometimes," Sano grumbled
"But you're crazy about her just the same," Kenshin said, chuckling, knowing that his friend loved his wife with all of his heart.
"Yeah, you're right buddy…but before I forget, I called to ask if you are still coming to Tokyo this Friday."
"Wouldn't miss it for the world…'sides I have to do this whole speech thing…" Kenshin assured him, yawning at the end.
"Good, I'll see you then… maybe the old gang could go out together to dinner or something…"
"Sure," Kenshin replied, wondering if she would come.
"Is Tomoe coming too?" Sano asked.
"Uh, I don't know, she's really busy with stuff…" Kenshin replied drowsily, suddenly feeling sleepy.
"Too bad…anyway, see you Friday."
"Yeah, bye," Kenshin said, feeling himself slipping into oblivion.
"Bye." They both hung up.
Right before he fell asleep completely, a question bounced inside his drowsy mind.
Will she be there?
"Let go," he suddenly said to her.
Startled, Kaoru looked at him, "What?"
"Let go," he said again, his ice blue eyes, deceptively blank at times, were focused on her face.
She understood what he meant, but with a sad shake of her head she said, "I can't, it's too hard."
He'd known that she'd answer like that, but this time he wasn't relenting.
"But not impossible," he told her.
With a sad smile, she conceded, "No, not impossible…just hard."
There was such an air of abject misery and indefinable sadness about her. It had been that way the first time she'd come to see him, and now, months after, it was still there, undiminished and undiluted.
He tried to be gentle with her at first. Let her set the pace of their sessions. But with each week that passed, no progress had been made, that he finally decided to take the blunter, more direct approach.
But somehow, a part of him had known that she would resist. He sensed that something else than the normal grief over loosing someone was holding her back.
He desperately wanted to find out what it was so he could help her move on. But whatever it was, she kept it closely guarded inside of her. Maybe she wasn't even aware of it.
Kaoru looked at the man sitting in front of her. The first time she'd come to see him, she'd found his cold, detached demeanor intimidating. But after a few minutes talking to him, she found that it was exactly this detached manner of his that made it easier to talk about herself.
She'd only agreed to see him after all her friends had expressed their concern and threatened to hold an intervention. The last thing she had wanted was an intervention, especially by her friends, although they meant well.
All she'd really wanted was to be left alone, and process her grief on her own. But the threats from her friends finally made her go and see Dr. Shinomori.
At first, she thought she could just go and pretend to see him, walk inside his building and then leave after a few minutes. But she hadn't counted on Misao and Megumi, her two best friends in the world.
They literally escorted her to Dr. Shinomori's office and waited outside in the reception room, until she was finished with her session.
And to her surprise, she liked talking to Dr. Shinomori. He wasn't one of those therapists who asked you millions and millions of question, who told you what your problem was, and what the solution to the problem was.
It felt safe to talk to him, comfortable even. He always waited for her to start the conversation, asking her questions here and there to help her get to wherever she needed to go.
But it was that same attitude of his that made it easy to avoid talking about her real problem. The deep, dark feeling she kept hidden inside. The one that made it hard to let go of that sadness that had come over her ever since that day…
"Kaoru," came the gentle prodding.
Startled once again, she refocused on his face. There was something different there today.
In his calm voice, Dr. Shinomori said, "Even when we think that the world has come to a grinding halt, life, cruelly so sometimes, keeps on going. And that is what you need to do…you need to let go and move on…"
Kaoru could not believe what she was hearing. Where had the unobtrusive therapist gone?
He smiled, or what would have passed for a smile, a tiny lifting of the corners of his mouth.
"Before you start protesting, I have to tell you that I deliberately let you set the pace of our sessions for the past few months. I sensed that you didn't need another person prodding you to move on. I hoped if I let you do the talking and the exploring, you might be able to move on, on your own. But after all this time, that hasn't happened. That same sadness and whatever you are keeping to yourself is still there…and unless you acknowledge that it is there and you let go of that…we're just wasting our time here…"
All that was said in his gentle, soothing voice that Kaoru found so reassuring.
What she didn't find so reassuring was how perfectly he had assessed her. Then again, wasn't it the man's job to do that?
Kaoru looked up at the painting behind him, looking for the words to explain something she didn't know how to explain even to herself…or was afraid to acknowledge.
But he continued, "Listen, what I want you to do is take some time off…"
"I have no time for a vacation…" she immediately protested.
"Make the time," he said in a decisive forceful voice.
"I can't…I have this thing on Saturday and the next few weeks are just…" Kaoru tried to find reasons and excuses.
"Kaoru, you need to take some time for yourself."
She looked at him, trying to make him see it her way, "I can't take time for myself, I just can't."
"Kaoru, yes you can. And you must. You haven't stopped long enough to move on."
With a wry smile she asked, "Isn't that an oxymoron?"
He ignored her statement,
"You told me that work has kept you sane by not letting you think about him all the time. But I think that by working so hard, you've only made it worse. You haven't processed your feelings properly, just pushed them aside. But no matter how much you try to ignore your feelings, they're still there waiting for that day they can pounce on you."
"I'm ok. I really am…" Kaoru tried to convince him.
"Are you?" he asked.
She 'd known she could not convince him. She couldn't even convince herself.
Pain, grief and sadness were easier to deal with if she ignored them, Kaoru had found out. That is why she'd immersed herself in her work. But somehow, no matter how much she tried, those feelings could not be ignored completely.
"Take that vacation, Kaoru, for your peace of mind."
"I don't like to hurt," she whispered.
"Nobody does…but even the biggest wounds heal," he told her.
"But they scar," Kaoru looked up at him.
He shrugged his shoulders, "Life isn't always fair."
Kaoru smiled sadly, "I know."
A discreet sound in the background signaled that their time was over.
Sitting up, Kaoru felt both relief and regret that the session was over.
Dr. Shinomori wrote some last-minute notes on the pad on his lap.
"Are you writing me a prescription?" Kaoru asked, that same wry smile on her face.
Confused, he looked up, "For what?"
"That vacation I'm supposed to take. They're doctor's orders, aren't they?"
This time he smiled fully, "They are."
"Any particular destination in mind?" she asked, slightly dazed by his smile. She could actually see what had gotten Misao so hot and bothered over him ever since she'd introduced the two.
"Not really."
He actually knew a few retreat places that would be good for her, but he wanted Kaoru to decide where she would take her time off.
"I just want a promise that you will take that time off…" he looked at her expectantly
Instead of answering, Kaoru stood up, gathered her things, turned to Dr. Shinomori and smiled.
"I guess I won't be seeing you next week, then."
Something about her manner made him suspicious.
"Kaoru, I hope you're not planning on deliberately missing our session next week, so I'll think you went on that vacation."
She blushed crimson, because that was exactly what she'd been thinking. Embarrassed that he could read her so easily, she tried to smile innocently, and mumbled a hasty goodbye.
Once outside the building, Kaoru looked up at the sky, noticing that the clouds had gathered in a mass of angry gray.
She closed her eyes briefly.
She was tired. So tired. But still she was afraid to stop, to take a moment for herself, afraid she would break into a million of tiny pieces.
Sighing, she made her way home, hoping it wouldn't rain on Saturday.
Two days later, Kenshin sat in front of his computer, trying to get some work done.
But all he'd written in the past two hours were two words, that didn't really count as work.
Rubbing his hand over his eyes, Kenshin sighed. Deciding that he needed a break, he rolled his chair back, and stood up to walk over to the floor-to-ceiling windows that afforded him a glorious view of the Kyoto skyline.
It was a curious view of traditional dojos mixed with modern high-rises. He liked to look down at it, marveling how old and new had found themselves in an odd aesthetic harmony.
He heard a melodious chiming in the background, and knew that somebody was at the door.
Only a few people were allowed to come up to his condominium unit without having to go through a call from downstairs.
Not really in the mood for company today, he reluctantly walked to the door to answer it, in the hopes and fears that it was his grandfather who'd come to visit him.
There was something about Hiko Seijurou that made it hard for someone to ignore him.
But when he looked through the spy-hole, he smiled in genuine pleasure.
He opened the door, and a smiling woman greeted him.
"Hello, Kenshin," she said in that soft voice of hers.
He stepped aside, to let her come in, "Haven't seen you in a while."
"I know," she said as she moved to the open living room with ease and familiarity.
Kenshin closed the door and followed her.
She pointed to one of his comfortable couches, "Do you mind?"
When he indicated he didn't, she sank gracefully into the black cushions.
He took a seat next to her, "Do you want to put your feet up?"
She looked at him eagerly, "Can I? They're killing me…"
Kenshin stood up to get an ottoman from the side and placed it under her feet as she lifted them.
She sighed in contentment, and Kenshin chuckled.
"A woman in your condition shouldn't be on her feet that much…"
"So they tell me," she agreed good-humoredly, patting her enormous belly, "but there is just too much work to be done…and unless you can find someone who is linked to me on a psychic level, I have to do what I have to do…"
He smiled at her, knowing how possessive she was about her work. And what a perfectionist she was about how her work should be displayed.
"How's the show coming?" he asked her.
She sighed again, this time with a hint of frustration, "I don't know…there are so many last minute details to take care of, it's driving me nuts! Plus I feel and look like a pumpkin!"
"But a cute pumpkin," Kenshin said fondly.
"That's what Akira says, every time I complain about it," she grumbled.
Kenshin looked at the woman, who he once thought to be his soul mate. On some level, this woman understood him like no other person did. Perhaps because of that, they were still friends today, even after what he had done to her so many years ago.
"Marriage suits you," he suddenly said.
That totally unexpected statement made her look up at him, "Thank you. You should try it sometime."
When he just gave a brief smile in reply, she decided to drop the subject and get to the reason why she came to visit him.
"You're still going to the reunion on Saturday, are you?"
"Yes."
"I wish I could go, too," she said wistfully, while rubbing her stomach.
"I don't think you should, in your condition."
"That's what Akira says, too," she grumbled again.
"Wise man, that husband of yours."
"I hope you think that way…you introduced us," she said, eyebrows raised.
Kenshin chuckled again. It was true, he'd introduced her to his editor four years ago, and to his surprise and delight, they'd hit it off. They'd been married for two years now, and were currently expecting their first child.
"You're happy, aren't you?" he asked her.
She looked at him, understanding the depths behind the question, knowing that a part of him was still afraid he'd hurt her too deeply.
For a while she thought he had. Then she moved on, and by doing that, she found the one man who loved her as much as she loved him. And for a strange, wonderful reason, Kenshin had led her to him.
"I couldn't be happier, Kenshin, believe me," she assured him.
He smiled in gratitude, knowing she understood.
"So, have you written your speech yet?" she asked to change the subject.
"No, not yet…I'm not even sure what I want to say," Kenshin said with a slight frown.
She smiled confidently, "It'll come to you…you're good with words…"
"I don't know, I just don't feel like I deserve the award I'm getting."
"But you do!" she said enthusiastically, "You do, Kenshin!"
He looked at her, still unsure, "I mean, look at you, you're successful…you've sold hundreds of paintings…"
She rolled her eyes at him, "I know, but they expected that of me! You on the other had, made a success of yourself on something that nobody expected you to do!"
Kenshin was about to protest some more but she forestalled him, "Just be gracious and accept the award…you've been accepting awards ever since you started your writing, so how can this one be any different?"
She had a point there, Kenshin had to concede that. But he'd never felt very comfortable receiving those awards either. He always had a sense of unworthiness about it. Not that he wasn't flattered that people wanted to give him awards, he just felt uncomfortable.
"I really wish I could go…" she said again.
"Me too," he said in reply, really meaning it.
She smiled softly, "I'm really curious about some old classmates of ours…Do you remember Yumi? You know the one who always was obsessed about her nose?"
"Yeah, Sano mentioned her recently…apparently she had her nose done and it turned out real bad, or so he tells me…"
She looked at him in horror, "What? That must be hard on her! Poor Yumi!…
They continued talking about some of their classmates, laughing at some of the sillier memories they had of High School.
Kenshin asked if she wanted something to eat or drink, and when she asked for a glass of water, he went to the kitchen to get it for her.
When he got back, they talked some more about the old days.
"How're Sano and Megumi doing, by the way?" she suddenly asked.
Kenshin chuckled, "They're still the same…"
"Remember when they called that they were getting married?" she laughed at the memory.
"Yes, I first thought law school must have fried his brains and he'd gone nuts!" he laughed at the memory of that phone call.
"Remember the wedding?" she said, laughing.
Kenshin suddenly became somber, "Yes, I remember."
Belatedly she remembered what had happened at Sano and Megumi's wedding and her face went instantly contrite.
"I'm sorry, I…"
Kenshin shook his head, "It's ok…"
But his eyes wandered to a painting on the wall opposite to where they were sitting.
It wasn't a very large painting. In fact it wasn't really the focal point of the room, but in some way, it had the power to draw a person's eyes to it.
It was a study of stillness in motion, as someone once remarked to Kenshin the first time the person had seen the painting.
The painting was of a Sakura tree in full bloom, petals falling from its branches to land on the ground. But the way it had been drawn, in such fluid strokes, it looked like the branches were actually moving in the breeze, the petals gently dancing to the ground. It was like the canvas had come to life.
But the most haunting thing about the painting was the faint figure that was a little to the left of the tree.
It was painted in such a way that you couldn't make certain if it was a man or a woman, and whether he or she was coming or going. The figure looked so forlorn and distressed, that a woman once commented to Kenshin that it looked like a man who was looking for his lost love.
Kenshin had always thought it looked like a woman walking away.
He wasn't sure why he kept it there.
"I think it's my best work so far," she said to him.
Kenshin smiled sadly, "Do you want to know what I call it?"
When she nodded, he said, "Moving on."
She looked at him, knowing the sadness that was inside of him, "Do you want to know what I originally called it?"
When he looked at her expectantly, she said, "Waiting."
"Tomoe…" he started but was interrupted by a melodious chime.
Somehow glad of the interruption, he stood up to answer the door.
She followed him "It's probably Akira…he lately has developed the habit of fetching me…"
Sure enough when he looked through the spy-hole it was Akira. He opened the door and greeted his editor.
"I'm here to collect my pumpkin," he said to Kenshin.
"Excuse me?" she said, eyebrows raised.
Chuckling, Akira continued, "And my wife too."
"You better watch what you're saying, Akira," Kenshin warned him laughingly.
"Idiots…" she muttered, but she kissed her husband on the cheek.
Then she turned to Kenshin, "You'll tell me all about the fun I'll be missing, won't you?"
"Do you want me to get it on video?" he jokingly asked her.
"Would you?" she asked, but he knew she wasn't really serious about it.
Akira laughed, knowing how much his wife had wanted to attend their reunion.
To Kenshin he said, "How's the next big Himura book coming along?"
"Not as easily as I hoped," Kenshin said on a sigh.
"Hey, no pressure man! Take some time off…re-charge your batteries…at the pace you've been writing you deserve it…"
"I'll think about it," he said. He didn't really want to take time off. He felt like he had to get to writing his next book immediately.
Only it wasn't working since he'd only gotten two words on page ever since he'd started two weeks ago.
Akira looked at him hard, knowing Kenshin well enough to know that the writer loathed taking time off in between projects. But he also knew that sometimes working too much and too hard only got the writer blocked.
"Well, call me if you decide to take that break, ok?" he told Kenshin before they said their goodbyes and left.
As Kenshin closed the door, he thought about the merits of taking some time off, and rejected them. What he really needed to do was get back to writing.
He walked back to the living room to get the glass Tomoe had used, and his eyes unconsciously went to the painting.
And the unbidden thought came to his mind…Will she be there?
Smiling wryly at the perversity of his heart, he continued on to the kitchen, where he rinsed the glass and put it aside to dry.
From there he headed back to the study, where he took his seat in front of the computer.
Moving his mouse to reactivate the screen, he stared at the two words he'd written earlier: Chapter One.
To be continued…
It took me some time to decide how I would continue the story. But after four months of deliberating on it, I still have no concrete idea. So, I finally decided to just start writing and see where it would lead. Hence, the somewhat unstructured chapter…
I hope you'll send me a review, to tell me what you think.
Thank you for your patience.
Lillienne
PS. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or its characters…life really isn't fair!