For You

As far as she could remember, her favorite color had always been purple.

And as soon as she had been old enough to care about hair and looks, she had thought it grossly unfair that a boy should have such beautiful eyes.

The surprise of seeing Kenshin here in the kitchen left part of Kaoru's brain curiously blank for a few seconds. The other part registered something that she would later recognize as excitement, something she hadn't felt for quite a while now. The sensation was both strange and unsettling.

Kenshin's mind raced for something to say. Something intelligent, something witty, something sophisticated. Something. Anything.

"Hi," he managed to say. Hi, like he was some high school boy with a crush. He wanted to hit himself.

"Hi," Kaoru replied breathlessly. Hi, like a high school girl with a crush. She wanted to hit herself.

An awkward silence followed. Both were looking for something else to say.

"Your hair is shorter," Kenshin said.

Kaoru touched her hair, "I had it cut."

"Yeah," Kenshin thought he sounded like an idiot. Had he gone completely daft?

"It looks good, though," he added.

"Thank you," Kaoru answered, feeling a bit foolish.

"Remember fourth grade?" he asked.

"What about fourth grade?" Kaoru asked curiously.

"You had your hair cut really short," Kenshin reminded her.

"Oh, yes, I remember that. I looked like a boy."

"Like a cute boy," Kenshin said. Then he wanted to hit himself again. That hadn't come out right.

The look on Kaoru's face told him that, "Uhmm..."

"What I mean was that even if your hair was really short like a boy's you still looked cute," he corrected himself.

"Thank you, I guess..." Kaoru said, strangely flattered.

"I saw Misao," Kenshin said. It was a total non sequitur. Just shut-up, he ordered himself silently.

"She's been looking forward to seeing you."

"She asked me if I could sign a book for her," this was definitely not what he had in mind when he wanted to talk to Kaoru.

"I know...it's in her bag...wait a minute...I'll get it," Kaoru turned and left Kenshin standing in the busy kitchen.

Kenshin wondered what he was doing here...okay he knew what he was doing here. Making a complete fool of himself. But what had he thought he would accomplish anyway? This was a mad impulse he just followed without thinking it through.

Kaoru returned with a book and pen in hand. She handed the book and pen to Kenshin. He took them and signed the book and handed them back to Kaoru.

"It's a very good book," Kaoru said to him.

"You think so?" Kenshin felt flattered that Kaoru liked his latest book. Although, she'd told him after every book of his that had been published that she liked them as well.

"Yes. It's suspenseful and hard to put down just like your other books...but it's also more complex...I can't explain it exactly...it's just richer...am I making sense?"

"Yes you are."

Another awkward silence followed.

"I was surprised to see you back there," Kenshin finally said.

"Really?" Kaoru asked.

"Yes," he said solemnly

"I'm glad," she replied just as solemnly.

"I'm glad that you're glad," he said.

They stood still, looked at each other and then started laughing.

It felt strange to laugh like she really meant it. Not that it was entirely uncomfortable

Kenshin hadn't expected this to happen when he had set his mind to finding Kaoru. Not that he was entirely sure anymore what he had expected.

The staff in the kitchen stopped with what they were doing to look at their employer laughing with the red-haired man.

Some of them recognized Kenshin and were wondering how their boss knew the famous writer. Some were just startled to see their boss laughing, seeming genuinely happy.

"I can't believe that we're reduced to this," Kaoru said to Kenshin.

"Reduced to what?" he asked her, entranced by the smile on her face.

"Trading inanities," she said with that smile.

"It wasn't that bad," he said.

"I know...it's just strange...we haven't talked since..." Kaoru suddenly stopped.

Kenshin knew how the sentence ended. They hadn't talked since the funeral about a year ago.

"So how are you..."

"Doing?" Kaoru finished the question for him.

Kenshin nodded, all the while he wanted to hit himself for putting back that sadness in Kaoru's eyes.

Kaoru stood still for a second, "

Kenshin wished that Kaoru had said "I'm moving on." Because then he could ignore that little scene at the cemetery yesterday and finally do what he had always wanted to do.

Yet, he couldn't. Not with the evidence right in front of him.

Shadows in sapphire pools, a line he used in one of his books suddenly flitted through his mind.

Someone asked him once, that with all the success and money he had from writing books, if he envied anybody. His answer then had been no.

In this, his answer would have been yes.

He was jealous of a man who's been dead one year, but lives on in the memory of the one woman who'd be the only person who'd complete him.

He was perverse. He was in love. And always would be.

"So what can I do for you?" she suddenly asked.

Kaoru thought it a strange thing to ask, but she had become uncomfortable by Kenshin's brooding silence and the startling reminder of Kichiro. One minute she was laughing, the next she was back in the shadows.

So she'd blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"Interesting question," Kenshin said as he looked at her intently.

"How so?" the look in Kenshin's eyes worried her. She wasn't sure why.

He considered the question while looking at Kaoru, feeling the little jolt in the region of his heart that only the sight of Kaoru could produce.

"Sometimes, I'm not exactly sure what I want from you...but I know what you do to me. Okay the first part's not true...I know exactly what I want from you...but I'm not entirely sure you can do that for me."

The exchange was getting stranger. Kaoru looked at Kenshin, a suspicion forming in her mind.

Kenshin was shocked by what he told Kaoru, because as little sense as his statement made to him right now...it was the complete truth about how he felt about Kaoru and this situation that he seemed to be in.

"Are you drunk?" Kaoru asked him.

"What?"

"Are you drunk?" she repeated.

"I'm not sure," he answered, because he wasn't.

Maybe he was drunk. Maybe that was what had fuelled his mad impulse to seek out Kaoru. Although in the deepest part of himself he knew that he'd always feel the mad impulse to seek Kaoru out, no matter how drunk or not drunk he was.

This wasn't going at all like he'd hoped.

"Maybe I should go back to the party..." he said to her.

Kaoru found herself reaching out to touch his arm, but stopped herself.

Instead she said, "Okay."

Kenshin wished that she'd asked him to stay. But it would be better if he'd go.

"Okay," he said to her.

They looked at each other. At that moment Kenshin felt this undeniable connection between them that he wanted to blurt out his feelings for her.

"I..."

"Excuse me..." a woman in the wait uniform addressed Kaoru.

Giving Kenshin an apologetic smile Kaoru said, "I have to get back to work."

Kenshin was relieved that the woman had stopped him from making a complete fool of himself. Again.

"I'm staying in Tokyo for a couple of days...maybe we could have dinner sometime," he said to Kaoru.

She smiled, "That would be nice."

"So I'll call you..." Kenshin said.

"Okay," she said.

Kenshin didn't know exactly how to exit. Saying goodbye seemed such a lame way to leave. So he gave her a half smile and turned to leave the kitchen.

"Kenshin..."

He stopped to look back at Kaoru.

"I'm glad you came to see me," and with a final sweet smile for Kenshin, Kaoru turned to talk to her employee.

Kenshin smiled and for the first time since he started this awkward conversation he felt glad that he came to see her.

She was standing in front of a display of Kenshin's books. She was holding one of his novels, looking at his picture at the back of the book.

"Do you like him?" someone asked.

Startled, Kaoru dropped the book. It fell on the floor with a muffled thud. The man, who had addressed her, bent to pick up the book and handed it back to Kaoru with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, "he said.

Still a bit flustered Kaoru smiled vaguely, "It's okay..."

She put the book back on the table and was about to walk away.

"So, do you like him?" the man asked again.

She turned. Still unsure of him, she looked at him questioningly.

"Who?"

The man pointed to the stack of books displayed on the table, "Himura Kenshin."

For a brief second, Kaoru wondered if this man knew about her and Kenshin's past.

The man smiled, "You know, Himura Kenshin, the writer...do you like him?"

Kaoru smiled, "Oh him...the writer...yes, I do."

"Me too," the man said.

Kaoru smiled politely and was about to turn away again, but he spoke again.

"So, which one is your favorite?" he pointed to the books again.

Not wanting to be rude, she answered, "I don't know...I like them all equally, I guess."

"Oh come on...you must like one a little bit more than the others," the man argued.

Kaoru smiled again, "Okay, I like the first one the best...and not because it is better than all the others, because I think all of them are equally good...but because it's the first book, I guess. It's just special."

"Sort of like the first born?" the man asked.

Kaoru considered that for a moment, she thought it a strange thing to say.

"No, not like the firstborn...it's more like the first time you meet somebody really special. There's that moment when you know that this person is different...but good different. Like somehow that first encounter is going to change your life forever. I don't know how to describe it exactly... it's that feeling of discovery and excitement and wond..."

Kaoru abruptly stopped, embarrassed by her flow of words.

"I'm sorry..." she mumbled.

But the man just looked at her, a tiny smile hovering about his lips.

"Don't be. I know exactly what you mean..."

Kaoru looked up at the man's face. And the way he was looking at her made her think that he wasn't referring to the book. She blushed.

It occurred to her that she had been standing there talking to a stranger. Although, the man seemed to look vaguely familiar now that she had time to study him a little bit more.

But he was still a stranger and for all she knew he could be some psycho-stalker who hunted down Himura Kenshin fans or something like that.

She looked for a polite way to leave, not wanting to offend the man.

Something on her face must have alerted the stranger for he asked, "You don't remember me, do you?"

There was something vaguely familiar about him. And another part of Kaoru's brain commented quite irreverently that the man was really, really good looking.

"I'm sorry..." Kaoru said apologetically, still unsure of the man.

"You catered the garden party for Mrs. Nasukawa..." the man said.

"It was a costume party," she said. She thought it was an inane thing to say. But she remembered the affair. And it had been a costume party.

But still she wasn't quite sure who the man was.

"Yes. I was the Phantom of the Opera," the man said helpfully.

Now she knew why he had looked familiar to her!

She had been aware of him the whole night, intrigued by the half of his face that was covered by the mask. She had wondered if it looked as good as the other half that was not covered by the mask.

She'd only seen his whole face briefly, when they had bumped each other in the hallway leading to the bathroom. He had smiled at her and she had thought that he must be the most beautifully sculpted man in the world.

Smiling at the memory, she said to him, "I was dressed as a waitress that night."

The man chuckled and Kaoru noticed that his eyes crinkled very nicely when he did that.

"I'm HayashiKichiro," the man introduced himself.

Kaoru had to smile, "I'm..."

"Kamiya Kaoru," he finished for her with a smile.

Startled, she looked at him, "How do you know my name?"

The smile grew mischievous, "I asked Mrs. Nasukawa."

"Why?" she asked quite stupidly. But quite frankly she was startled that this man would ask the hostess for her name. Wait, maybe he wanted her to cater one of his parties. That must be it.

But Kichiro surprised her when instead of answering he said, "Would you like to have a cup of coffee with me?"

"I don't drink coffee," Kaoru said, partly because she really didn't and partly because she didn't really know the man.

"Okay, how about dinner, then?" the man asked undeterred.

"You're very direct," Kaoru said, curiously not at all taken aback by the man's persistence.

"Yes, well, I figured that if some gods up there thought me worthy enough to let me bump into you at this bookstore, I thought I should make good use of my fortune."

Kaoru couldn't believe that this was happening to her. She was in a bookstore and a gorgeous man was asking her out! Things like that never happened to her! And oh, how tempted she was to go out with him!

But the more cautious side of her made her say, "I'm very flattered but uhm...I'm not sure I should have dinner with you...I mean, I hardly know you...and you can't be too sure nowadays..."

The man stilled and Kaoru was half afraid that she'd offended him.

But then he grinned, "I think it's good that you're cautious because you really can't be too sure nowadays...and I did come off a bit stalker-ish, didn't I?"

Kaoru gave a vague smile in reply. There was something about this man that made her want to trust him. It made her wary but it also made her want to throw caution to the wind.

The man looked thoughtful for a second then said, "Okay, dinner's out...and you don't drink coffee. Would you like to have a cup of whatever you drink instead of coffee with me?"

Kaoru laughed, "You're very persistent."

"I told you I didn't want to waste my good fortune," he said.

"I could give you my number," Kaoru suggested.

"Okay...and if I called you, would you talk to me?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly.

Kichiro looked at her thoughtfully for a second, "Would it help if we called Mrs. Nasukawa?"

Confused, Kaoru asked, "Why would we want to call Mrs. Nasukawa?"

He laughed, "So that she can tell you that I am not a stalker, that I am in fact a very nice person and that I am very interested in you."

"How would she know that you're interested in me?"

"Let's call her," Kichiro said, taking out his cellphone.

It was Kaoru's turn to look thoughtfully at him. If he was a stalker, which she now doubted he was, he was a very nice and very handsome stalker. And if he wasn't a stalker, which she now truly believed, then he was a very handsome and charming man asking her out. And she, Kaoru, didn't have enough charming and handsome men in her life to turn this one down.

And so, after she let her single-female-looking-for-someone-handsome-and-charming part explain all this to her cautious part, she said to Kichiro, "There's a small restaurant just around the corner that serves some very good tea."

She could see the surprise on his face and itt made her feel more confident about her decision.

Then he gave her a devastating smile, "I would love to have a cup of tea with you."

They walked out of the bookstore and made their way to the restaurant.

And just before they went inside, he turned to her and said, "The gods must really be with me."

Kaoru opened her eyes, awakening from the dream that haunted her.

She stared at the ceiling, trying to chase the ghosts away for the day. But she knew they would return again. They always returned in her sleep.

This made her feel depressed and tired, something she had become so familiar with this past year.

She turned her head to look at the small alarm clock on her beside table. It was five thirty. She had had only four hours of sleep.

It was still early and she could stay in bed and try to catch more sleep. But she knew from past experience that she'd only be lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling waiting for her alarm to ring at six thirty.

And then she remembered. She hadn't set the alarm because it was Sunday and she didn't have any work to do today. In fact, as far as Misao was concerned, she was on vacation as of today.

Strangely this made her fell even more depressed and so she got up.

After a brief detour to her bathroom and now wearing a robe, she walked into her kitchen. She filled a kettle with water and put it on the stove.

She once bought an electric kettle but she never used it. She didn't know why exactly.

She got a mug and a teaspoon and placed them near the stove. She reached for the tin can where she put her teabags in. She took one out and put it in the mug.

Then she waited for the water to boil. She remembered something about 'watched kettles never boil' but she didn't really have anything else to do.

So, for what seemed like an eternity, she waited for the water to boil. She had been so absorbed with her task that she jumped a little in surprise when the kettle finally whistled.

She turned off the stove and filled the mug with hot water. She let the tea steep for a while until the water had turned to the shade she liked. Taking out the tea bag, she squeezed it, placed it in the sink and taking the mug with her she walked to the French doors that led to her little balcony.

Stepping outside, she could feel the chill of the early morning air. She took a sip from her mug, and the hot tea warmed her insides. She took a seat in a comfortable chair she had brought outside for occasions like these.

And as she watched the sun rise over the horizon in all its majesty, she felt the ghosts go away and turn back to what they really were: memories.

To be continued...

That's another one for you. I hope it was satisfactory because I'm really worried.

I don't have much time to work on my stories because, sadly, I have a job. But I promise to update as often as I can, because, strangely enough, I'm starting to really like this story.

The whole awkward Kenshin/Kaoru conversation is based on a conversation I once had with someone.

There's a line in Maroon5s 'She Will Be Loved' that I think is perfect for the story:

"She always belonged to someone else..."

Well, let me know what you think. And visit my site to see my replies to your reviews for the previous chapters. The link is in my profile page.

xoxo,

Lillienne

PS. There's a universe where Rurouni Kenshin belongs to me. Sadly, this is not the one.