Jack couldn't remember how long he'd been there. He couldn't remember how he got there. He couldn't even remember if he had really seen the proposal, or whether it was something Fifth had cooked up. All he knew was, he had to stay in this reality. He had to maintain some semblance of sanity.

Because he also knew that this was the bastard who'd hurt Carter, and Jack was going to make him pay for that. As soon as he could stop lying on the floor in pain. And hallucinating. God, he hated the hallucinations.

"Your mind is more complex than I thought." Fifth mused. "Many, many layers, so much so deeply buried. It's difficult to reach. But I will." He said, confidentially, and through his half-closed eyes Jack saw the boy's hand reach out to him, and he just had time to swear before

It's a perfect day for a wedding. The sky is blue, the grass is green, and nature is doing it's thing. Jack would be happy, if he could. He's trying to fake it, and he's fooling almost everybody. But inside, he's crawled up into a tiny hole, dying.

Sam's wedding day. Not a good day, for him. Ecstatically happy for everyone else. Well, maybe not for Daniel, who's been looking confused a lot lately. Or Teal'c, who disapproves of Pete and shows it. But they're not around. Oh no. This is all Jack O'Neill's show, and he's hating every second of it.

He wishes he knew where his friends were. This is no time to be alone. Watching the woman you love, have loved, will always love, will and have died for, walking up the aisle on the arm of someone else. Why is he all alone here? Why is there no-one to help him, save him? Why does he have to watch this?

She looks beautiful. But then, she always has looked beautiful to him. In her BDU's, covered in mud, a gun in her hand. Crouched behind a barricade, blood dripping down her face, exhausted. On her third consecutive night awake, face pale, eyes shadowed, still working on the miracle he's demanded. Always, always, she has been the one beauty in his hidden, dark life.

He has lost her. She says the words that will bind her to this man for ever more. They all leave the church, one by one. She looks at him, as she passes by, and for her sake he smiles, but it feels bitter. But she nods serenely, and sweeps by, as if the two of them had never stood in a corridor, the barrier between them, their defences down.

And now, he's alone again.

And now the pain begins. The heavy twisting in his stomach. The sullen darkness sweeping through him. He cannot sit still, but he cannot move. For eight years he has loved her, and now he has lost her, and it's not just a wistful sadness, it's a heavy, deep mourning running through his life. There's nothing left for him to do with his life now, but wait for it end. Slowly, he leans forward, hands resting on his knees, breathing heavily.

"Jack."

He looks up, to see Cassie.

"You know this is wrong." She tells him.

"It happened, Cassie."

"No, it didn't." she says gently, walking forward, ethereal in the lavender bridesmaid's dress. "It won't, but you have to live."

"Cassie..."

"Shush. He wants you to give up, and die. But you won't, will you? Not my Jack. My mother and I both knew, only one thing would kill you."

"Losing Sam." He said, softly. The air around Cassie shimmers, and Jack is all too aware, all of a sudden, that Cassie is not like other children. Not entirely human.

"But you haven't. You never will. But you must survive this."

Jack looks around, at the church where his life broke, at the girl, glowing softly opposite him.

This is wrong, he knows.

"Bastard." He said, clearly. Fifth leaned into him.

"Why won't you just die?" Fifth asked, genuinely frustrated.