by juxtaposed
The battles keep getting bigger, the losses more profound. When the ultimate loss happens, everything changes. Everyone changes. Harry and Ginny now find themselves dealing with an old friend - and a new enemy. But how do you defend yourself against someone who knows everything about you? Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
also
Hermione reminisces. Harry has mental arguments. Ginny just has issues.
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies, blah blah blah; I don't own anything or anyone you recognize. Unless, of course, you recognize something or someone I do. No lawsuits or paperwork, please.
Chapter Six: Why Your Subconscious Should Only Be Free When You Are Unconscious
"So, uh, that was nice..." Harry looked over at Ginny, whose face was flushed rather thoroughly, and prettily, he couldn't help thinking.
Of course you can't help it. You're in love with her!
I am not. Get out of my head.
Make me.
Out.
Make me.
I said out!
And I said make me.
You know what? I'm going to ignore you.
Just try, Potter.
I will.
Sure you will.
Ignoring you now.
And with the most gargantuan effort he could muster, he did, turning his focus back to Ginny. "Can't remember the last time I'd done that..."
"You cant?" Ginny looked incredulously at him with wide, dark eyes. "It's not something that's hard to remember, Harry. I mean...its...well...its just not easy to forget."
"I'm not saying that it is...its just...its been a while," he admitted.
Oh, boy, has it been a while.
Definitely.
Hey, look! We agree on something.
You mean you finally developed some common sense?
You couldn't have left it as it was, could you? We were happy, you had to ruin it.
Oh, Merlin, don't sound like such a girl!
I most certainly do not sound like a girl!
Wanna bet? A thousand Galleons say you act just like a girl sometimes.
I do not.
A thousand Galleons...
You don't have that kind of money.
Sure we do!
Ah, so it's from my bank account that you plan to use the money to gamble with me with?
What?
I'm not entirely sure I can repeat the whole thing.
I give up on you, Potter. I really really do. Sigh. You poor boy. Must be all the deprivation of any fun in your life whatsoever.
I have fun! Well, I used to... Harry frowned a little, as he recalled out loud, telling Ginny. "The last time it was this wild was back in Hogwarts, well, when I was still there, you know? After that...I've been kind of busy, haven't exactly been able to strut around town looking for some fun. And not that much fun to be had around town, either. What with everyone either hiding or dying."
Ginny's face was sympathetic as she leaned over to rest her head on Harry's shoulder. Ginny. On shoulder. Why should this make me slightly uncomfortable?
Because you're in love with her, how many damn times do I have to say this?
Temper, temper. And watch your language.
Oh, please, like you haven't come up with much worse. And. You. Are. In. Love. With. Ginny. Weasley. Will. You. Please. Admit it already! Before I hex you!
I'm not in love with her. That's why I'm uncomfortable with this, because I don't like her in that way so she shouldn't be doing this...
Well then, push her away. If you can.
I cant. She's my friend, and she's tired. I can't push her off.
Can't or wont? Admit it, you like having her rest on you.
Well, it is rather comfortable.
Huzzah. Minor progress from the nimwit.
Hey!
What? You are.
Then you are too! You're me, remember?
Oh. Damn. Fine. I take that back.
Ha ha.
But you're still in love with her. You just wont admit it, which is why its so awkward having her on your shoulder because you like that she's doing it but you don't think you do.
What?
I don't want to repeat that. And, hey, Ginny speaking now. Focus, dear lad. Focus.
"I guess...it was a little different for me, still being in school. I still got to have a little bit of fun, here and there." Ginny shrugged.
"And who exactly were you having all this fun with, young lady?" He couldn't resist attempting to sound intimidating, but even before she snorted with laughter he knew he'd failed.
Well, duh. Your idea of intimidating is, apparently, pulling a very sixties-television-dad voice.
How would you know what a sixties-television-dad's voice sounds like? You weren't around in the sixties!
Reruns?
We haven't watched any sixties TV.
Oh, right. Well, probably some basic stereotypes that have been put to mockery on modern television.
Ah, that sounds more likely.
"Please. You don't sound anything at all like Mum, don't even try." She paused.
Harry immediately began to think, an action he was seriously beginning to doubt the wisdom of.
Well, yeah, thank Merlin I don't sound like Molly Weasley, that'd be quite a sight, wouldn't it? The Boy-Who-Lived sounding like the matriarch of the Weasley clan. 'Fred! George! Stay out of mischief!'
Nah, that's not really what'd she say...it'd probably be a little more like 'If I hear so much as one whisper about your causing any trouble at all, you two are in deep shit!'
Except that she wouldn't actually say 'shit' in front of anyone.
Right, right.
But the rest of it was pretty good, I think. So, it would be like 'Fred, George, if I so much as have a feeling that you two are wreaking havoc, you're punished sooner than you can say "degnome the garden"!'
Oh, that's much better. You're really getting it down, I think.
Really? You think?
Yeah, it's a good impersonation.
Wait a minute.
What?
Wasn't the point of this that we don't want to sound like her?
Oh. Oh. Huh. How about that.
You're an idiot.
Shut up. Harry's face took on a frown, while Ginny kept talking, not seeing the rather disgruntled expression on his face.
"And, its none of your business, but before he left, when Dean and I were dating, yeah, we used to do this quite a bit. And after your year left, well, I just got some of my friends."
None of my business? What's that supposed to mean?
I think it means, none of your business.
Oh. Why the hell not?
Because it really isn't?
Oh. Wait a minute. She and Dean?
Things just sort of take their time making their way into your brain don't they?
What did she mean, she and Dean? Doing things together? What kind of things?
I believe, Einstein, the same sort of things you and the lovely Miss Weasley are partaking in right now.
What? She and Dean used to...they...but...she's so...
My, your coherency is really coming along.
Wait! She and Dean and her friends?
I sense an apoplexy coming on.
Probably. She and Dean and her friends!
Down, boy. Stay calm.
How ?
Breathe. In, out. In, out...
Okay, okay. I'm better, I swear.
I hope so.
I am. I'll prove it.
No! I mean, no, no... I'll handle this one.
"I'm having quite a time trying to picture you, dear sweet quiet little Ginny Weasley, going wild and doing all this with a bunch of your friends."
See? Not at all psychotic. Do you understand?
Yes...
That's a good lad.
You know, I rather resent being patronized.
But its so easy...
Grrr.
Did you just growl at me?
No.
Yes, you did! Heh heh.
Its not funny.
Yeah it is.
Ginny giggled. "Since when was I ever 'dear sweet quiet little Ginny Weasley'? Especially to you, you've known me for ages!"
"Well, you seemed that way for quite a while. All cute and innocent. Even when you started growing up, and I knew you weren't really like that. You still just...seemed like it. There's something about you..." Harry suddenly broke off, laughing nervously. "God, I'm just...going on, aren't I? Rambling...you must think I'm going crazy."
You are.
I am.
Oh, good, that's another thing we agree on.
Well, its your own fault. You just wont admit that you are in love with Ginny.
Because there's nothing to admit.
Oh, really?
Yes, really.
'There's something about you...', sound familiar?
Shh.
"Not at all," Ginny said quietly, giving him a shy smile. "I think it's sweet. One of the sweetest things anyone's ever said to me."
He was transfixed by her smile. Those lips...and her perfect teeth...and those amazing lips...and her lips...and... why am I so fascinated with her lips? This is Ginny...
Oh, come on, Potter. You know why you're fixated on her lips... You want to kiss her. Be a man, go for it.
I do not. I just think that... "You're absolutely beautiful, you know that, Gin?"
"Hmmm? What was that, Harry?" She had snuggled closer to him, burying her face in his arm. "Mmm. I'm getting sleepy. The buzz is starting to wear off, I think."
"I said..." He looked down at her, at the way she clung to him, the way her eyelids fluttered shut, the way her hair curled around her shoulders... "Nothing, really. Just rambling some more. You know me." Yeah, you're a damn coward, that's what you are. And completely blind to your own emotions.
I'm choosing to take the high road and ignore you.
Suit yourself. I'll take the low road and mock the hell out of you. Much more fun.
Ignoring you.
Mocking! Mock, mock, mock.
"Oh," she mumbled, her voice was small and sleepy, and entirely endearing. "Okay. If you're sure."
"I'm sure. Rest if you want to."
Yeah. Right. You told her she was absolutely beautiful, that's nothing, sure. You're in love with her, Potter. For Merlin's sake, just admit it!
First off, I'm ignoring you. Secondly, I'm not in love with her. I was just speaking the truth. Ginny is a beautiful girl.
Yeah, yeah. Then why do you feel so sad?
I'm not sad. Yes, you are. You're upset because you were hoping that she would have heard you and maybe, because her skull isn't as thick as yours, she would realize you're in love with her too and just kissed you senseless because God knows you cant stop thinking about kissing her.
That isn't true...
Harry was beginning to feel the intoxication from the night's activities start to release its grip on him, and was starting to grow drowsy. However, he couldn't help but suddenly be acutely aware of Ginny curling up with him...her sweet fruity scent suddenly filling his senses...her long, black tresses gently tickling his skin...her warmth enveloping him as she pulled herself closer...nuzzling his arm...wrapping her arms around his torso...pressing her soft - You know you want her, Potter. Are you ever going to admit it?
No, because it's not true.
Ugh. I give up. Its late, I'm worn out, I'm going to sleep and hopefully when you wake up you'll have learnt how to use your brain!
His own mind yelling at himself was the last thing he heard, before he closed his eyes for a second, and opened them again to find himself...exactly where he was a minute ago. He was lying on the couch, with Ginny curled up to sleep, pressed against him. He found himself gently stroking her hair, pushing it away from her smooth, lightly tanned and very freckled skin. She stirred as he did, looking up at him with her wide eyes, heavy with sleep.
"Harry?" she murmured.
"Yeah," he replied softly, still stroking her hair. "It's me. Shh... go back to sleep," he told her as she tried to get up. She settled down again, and he kept on playing with her soft, silky hair. "I love you, Ginny," he whispered softly. He smiled as he saw a small smile form on the sleeping girl's lips, and his eyes started to drift shut again...
And then suddenly, she was kissing him passionately. He was holding onto her, cradling her head with one hand, encircling her waist with the other, as he crushed her mouth with his. Her lips were hot and pliant, her tongue was tangling with his, her hands were in his messy hair, on his neck, running down his back... He moaned softly and pulled her closer, delighting in the utter breathlessness with which she panted his name as his hands began to snake lower, feeling her warm, soft skin under him...
"Harry...oh...Harry..." She was beginning to get louder, calling his name out. "Harry...Harry!" It became louder, more passionate, more intense. "Harry! Harry!" Then it became...desperate. "Harry!" And then she screamed. And it was no longer of desire, it had turned into...anxiety? Fear?
And she was no longer there with him; he realized after the first few moans he had not seen her, only heard her...and now she was screaming, crying out for him. Why is she crying? His mind wondered, but there was no time to think of an answer as his head suddenly imploded in pain. A sharp, burning feeling shot through his nerves, stemming from...
His scar. He clutched his forehead, at the lightning-bolt mark there that felt like it was eating away at his skin, sending hot waves of blinding pain through his mind. It was unnerving, and he couldn't think straight, but he didn't need to. The pain could only mean one thing.
Voldemort.
AN: First up, a big thank you to lgobgirlie15, Chowie, and the faithful tiggieotoo! You guys rock, and your reviews make me happy! A big cookie to each of you!
AN: Now, to address a couple of issues: I've altered how I format Harry's thoughts - they're now italicized and paragraphed to represent both voices in his head, and I'll probably edit the earlier chapters too. It was something I had considered earlier, I was just worried about one-line paragraphs. However, all of the flashbacks that they experience probably will not be divided, it was kind of a stylistic choice I had decided upon - keeping you all on your toes, constant vigilance and all! Hope its alright with everyone. Thanks! :)
AN: Finally, you've obviously read, so review, please? It makes my day.