Author: SavingRain
Rating: R
Summary: After Naraku's death, Kagura needed to find her place in the world.
Note: "------" denotes a scene change
Sesshoumaru was already seeing to his political affairs when the sun broke over the mountains. Kagura had left at first light, apparently having an easy time of convincing Azumamaro to come with her.
He narrowed his eyes at the thought.
It is more likely that he allowed her to believe that she was convincing him. Kagura, I had no idea that you could be so foolish…
The taiyoukai lord looked down at the scrolls on his desk and the fine writing of the documents, clearly spelling out Daisetsu's recent movement through the mountains. The number of youkai amassing to swell his ranks would be too much for Azumamaro, the fool would no doubt fail.
-------------------------------------------
"Here they come!"
Kagura heard the proud shout of her mate as he charged over the rise below her, dropping nimbly through the treetops to meet his soldiers in the clear valley below.
She watched him from her feather, with her back tensed and shoulders raised, pressing her trusted fan firmly against the palm of her hand.
Heh, he's confident as usual.
A smirk graced her features, and she flexed her wrist, spreading her fan out and lifting her hand up high. Daisetsu's warriors were clamoring over the other side of the cliffs, funneling into the valley in a mass of violence and blood. Azumamaro was cutting through them with ease, creating a channel to Daisetsu, the massive taiyoukai that awaited him on the other end.
Kagura snorted as she brought her fan down, sending scores of pounding winds into the enemy's ranks. She watched with glee as the blades of Fujin No Mai ripped limbs off of bodies and created chaos and fear among Daisetsu's men. Several looked to the sky and spotted her feather, floating ominously in the air. As she suspected, they charged towards her, and she casually lifted her fan again, creating tornadoes that drove through their bodies and sent them flying backwards into the earth.
"Hmph, fools." She leaned forward and urged her vessel onward, shadowing Azumamaro's movement as he neared Daisetsu.
She lowered herself slightly to the ground, catching the scent of blood that flowed up from scores of bodies, and one that held a distinction among the rest.
He's injured!
Kagura felt unwanted fear rising in her chest. Azumamaro's armor had been cut through and blood poured down his side. Kagura watched as he brought his spear down, slamming it against Daisetsu's shoulders, barely managing to crack his armor. She rose her fan again, ready to interfere and save her lover's life if need be. His cries reached her ears as the enemy drove a blade through his side, tearing through flesh like silk.
No--
Kagura could see it. Everything that she had fought for and hoped to achieve was being washing away in a matter of seconds. The man that she had joined her life to was below her, possibly dying, and his men were scattered. She looked around frantically and noticed that despite his strategic planning, his army was being decimated by Daisetsu's accumulating troops.
I won't lose this, Azumamaro, we will not die here!
With a stern sense of resolve, she prepared to send a massive tornado down to tear Daisetsu away from Azumamaro, rendering the other youkai vulnerable to attack. She gasped as her spiral of wind was flung to the side, and went too far to the right, ripping into the ground and dissipating as if it had no force behind it all. Then she fell forward, suddenly aware of the weightlessness of her body, the loss of her feather, and the growing wetness in her shoulder. Horrified, Kagura tried to come to her senses as more pain hit her.
Arrows?
She couldn't be sure, but thought she heard herself cry out as a weight collided with her gut, making her body go entirely numb as she plummeted towards the earth.
How? It isn't possible!
Kagura formed her right hand into a fist, clawing for her fan, and found it gone. She turned her head to the side and saw the object that had once held so much power fluttering away in the wind like a piece of trash. Her thoughts were quickly running together, and her body felt beyond her capacity to control. Her strength and control gone, Kagura felt waves of pain wash through her as she spiraled towards the earth.
Damn you…
Her heart was pounding in her chest.
Damn you Azumamaro…
I cannot die like this…
-------------------------------------------
Sesshoumaru made a mental note not to travel through the battle field when he set out to visit Rin's shrine. He could vaguely hear Jaken speaking and leant his ear to him, catching the end of his long-winded exclamations.
"…torn apart by Azumamaro as he entered the lower valley!"
"Torn apart?" Sesshoumaru turned to regard the toad youkai, who bowed reverently, having finally been acknowledged.
"Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama, news came from a scout on the edge of your territory. Azumamaro has succeeded in routing a great mass of Daisetsu's forces in the northern lands. He is even now pressing towards Daisetsu himself, intent on meeting him in battle!"
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at Jaken's excited voice, but chose to focus instead on the more pressing concern of Azumamaro's victory.
It has barely been a day, and already he is making Daisetsu run…so, Kagura has taken up with more than just a land-hungry warlord.
He glanced to the papers laid out in front of him, running his eyes over sketches that showed the borders of his territory.
If this continues, the future is certain. I will meet him in battle and crush him.
Sesshoumaru reflexively tensed his muscles, aware of the new energy that seemed to be flowing through his body.
The image of Azumamaro's death is not an unpleasant one.
"Jaken," the lesser youkai looked up at his master, his eyes wide with expectation.
"You will prepare to leave. We are going as soon as possible."
"Hai—may I ask where to, Sesshoumaru-sama?"
Sesshoumaru frowned. He raised an eyebrow in the smaller lesser youkai's direction, obviously displeased with his servant's question. Jaken bowed and apologized, backing out of the room. Then he was alone, left with his silence.
This was the life he had become accustomed to, and now Sesshoumaru was coming to terms with his recent decision to leave it. He would return to his lands and see Rin's grave, and then he would investigate the new enemy that loomed at Kagura's side. His mind would not let him rest until this chapter in his life was settled.
There is too much left unfinished.
He furrowed his brow in contemplation.
I showed you the truth behind Azumamaro. He is reckless and a fool; you will follow him to your death.
I thought that you were done following useless men around.
Irritation swept through him, and he felt a growl rising in his chest.
Did I not show you what it means to be strong? Did I not teach you what it meant to have a purpose, a true purpose?
He moved to the window and looked out at the world, wasting away in petty wars and foolish desires.
How wasteful are emotions, binding in their rampant destruction, overtaking even the strongest of wills. I will never know what became of Inuyasha, save that he spent the rest of his life coveting my father's sword as his only strength. He likely died in the same bed as that woman he spent his life fighting for. He wasted our father's legacy to bring weaker, pitiful children into the world with the guardian of the Shikon no Tama.
Inuyasha threw away his strength for something so petty.
Kagura, do you not see that you are doing the same thing now? Has your love for this…Azumamaro…caused you to throw aside all sense and reason?
If that is the case, then you are already dead. You are the willful woman that I first met, fading away into another man, destined to die for the cause of another's glory.
A growl rose in his throat again, and he reached for his armor to impatiently tie it on.
Kagura. Was this Sesshoumaru wrong to see something in you when you came to me that night?
-------------------------------------------
Kagura wasn't sure how much time passed when she finally opened her eyes. She could vaguely hear the calls of carrion birds as they soared through the sky and descended to feed on the flesh of the dead.
I am still alive…
She tried sit up and found her strength lacking. The pain was excruciating. A groan escaped her lips as she fell backwards; suddenly aware of the acrid scent of blood that she was sure covered her entire body. There was no movement directly around her, only dead bodies.
Did Azumamaro's men retreat when he died?
With a great deal of effort, Kagura pushed herself forward so that she slumped over her knees. Dimly, in the back of her mind, she was happy to find her legs still working, and eventually was able to come to her feet, but not before a thick stream of blood made its way up her throat and over her chin. She stumbled, disturbed by the rising bile and the pain in her chest. Her vision was blurry. She tried to raise one arm, and when she realized that it was too damaged to go higher than her waist, she raised the other one instead to wipe the blood from her eyes. Relief washed over her as her sight cleared. Kagura squinted against the murk of the battlefield. It was late day and the sun was setting in the sky. She craned her neck to take in a view of the area.
These are Daisetsu's men.
Her eyes widened as a sense of elation filled her.
Is it possible that we won?
She looked around her, stumbling forward, but there was no movement in the shadows. The area was devoid of movement except for the occasional twitching of the dead.
Azumamaro…
Kagura could feel her strength leaving her, even as she pressed forward, driven by her need to survive, by her need to know…
"Bastard!" she cursed, pausing momentarily to clear her mind. "I know you are alive…Azumamaro, answer me!"
Her voice was shaking, her resolve all but lost.
This is insane, chasing after the dead…he means nothing to me…
Her legs wobbled and she forced herself to stand.
You are dead, aren't you?
A wry smile crossed her lips.
And I am dead along with you…Naraku, is this what you intended, when you made me too headstrong for my own good?
She took another step forward, bracing herself by wrapping one arm around her waist.
No, you did not make me this way, this is what I became. I was empowered by my own strength and my own will. My desire led me down this path. I never wanted to be controlled again and yet…
Kagura furrowed her brow in anger and pressed onward, randomly kicking aside the bodies of the dead, searching for her mate's familiar face.
Azumamaro!
"Azumamaro! Damn you!" She reached down to throw one over, hoping it was the lover who had left her behind to die alone in the field.
"Kagura," some how the weak reply found her ears.
She paused, unsure of the feelings suddenly welling up in her. Anger, betrayal?
The wind-user turned towards the voice, and surprised herself when an impassive glare fell over the once marvelous man that lay before her.
"You're dying." She told him. Words flowed out; she had no time for pretense, no time to think, and walked stiffly towards him, suddenly finding the strength that she needed to go on.
Azumamaro's empty eyes looked up at hers and he sighed, one hand lounging over his waist and touching the edge of a broken blade, wedged into his side. His other arm was gone, and she could see it lying beyond him, still clutching the spear that he had wielded so mightily before.
Daisetsu's blood was on the covered the head.
"He died first," somehow, deep inside of him, he found the strength to nod towards the body of the fallen lord, sliced in half and covered in his own blood. He gave her a bitter smile. "It doesn't seem fair, that one of his soldiers should be the one to kill me."
Kagura's eyes burned, and she felt anger rising in her.
"…Don't tell me that's how you died!" She was surprised that she was shouting, doubled over in her own pain.
Azumamaro lifted the seemingly lifeless hand that he still possessed and placed it on one of hers, clutching it with amazing strength.
"It isn't fair, is it?" he echoed, and Kagura looked into his eyes, feeling neither sadness nor empathy.
We chose this way together…
"I never thought you would die," she whispered, surprised at her own foolishness.
Sesshoumaru…
"He…was right," Azumamaro's grip tightened, and Kagura saw a wildness in his eyes, much like the look he had before he'd gone into battle, certain of his victory. "That asshole," he managed. Then laughed—impossibly loud—sighing as he coughed up another layer of blood.
"Sesshoumaru," Kagura's face was plain, as much as she wanted to, she couldn't smile at the broken man at her feet.
"Kagura," Azumamaro coughed again, and she looked at him, watching as an easy smile swept across his face. Kagura regarded him with a miserable sigh, leaning forward to look into his handsome face.
Where is my happiness now? It wasn't too long ago that you could lend yourself to me…now I feel nothing.
"Kagura," he repeated, and she saw his eyes begin to dim as his life was choked out. "What…will you do…now?"
Her back stiffened, aware of the blood that was slicked over her hands as she placed one hand over his still-armored chest, bracing herself above him. His heart wasn't beating.
He's dead…
Kagura bowed her head slightly, assessing the change in her life and the loss of her mate's. He was gone, everything he fought for, everything that he…
Snorting, she pushed herself to her feet, stumbling only when she felt Azumamaro's iron grip still on her hand. Kagura gasped, startled out of her resolve by the reality of his death. Tears to threatened pour down her face, but she fought them back.
He is only a man!
She cursed, reaching for his hand and wrenching his fingers off of her.
"Dammit! Let go of me!" Kagura forgot her anger as fear rose inside of her. "Let go, Azumamaro!"
She let his hand fall, staring at his dead eyes.
Kagura straightened her back and took a few minutes to breathe, allowing herself to relax and her peace of mind to return.
"I'm not one to cry," she told him, and then turned away, looking out at the skyline. "It is useless, wouldn't you agree?" Kagura pulled what was left of her sleeves over her arms and made sure her obi was secure around her waist.
She lifted her usable arm and casually swept a stray strand of hair out of her face.
"Crying does not change anything," she sighed, dismayed at not being able to find a feather in her hair and instead resolved to march forward, out of the stench of the battlefield. "Only the weak cry, only they lament over things they cannot change."
I am not weak. I do not cry. I do not lament over what cannot be changed.
She straightened out her kimono, lifting her head high as she ran one hand over her sides, surprised to find several arrows protruding from her body. Gritting her teeth, she tore them out, refusing to cry out in pain.
"Sesshoumaru, you were right again," Kagura shook her head, anger boiling up inside of her.
It was foolish of me to believe that he could not lose, that he would not lose…
The taiyoukai's words echoed back to her, Daisetsu will kill your mate, and he will kill you…. Somewhere inside, Kagura found the courage to smile, even as she turned her back on the body of her mate and the bodies of her once loyal followers. You were not entirely correct, I am alive… She took one confident step forward and found her body was easily propelled.
I will move on, I will find other ways to get what I want.
I am strong, you taught me that.
The wind-user looked beyond the valley and into the darkness of the world around her. What Azumamaro had managed to achieve with her by his side would aid her. She would not forget what she had learned here. Two of the greatest powers ever in existence had attempted to oppress her strength and rip her out of the world. Both Naraku and Daisetsu had failed miserably.
A familiar sense of empowerment and pride swelled in her, and she lifted her eyes to the sky.
-------------------------------------------
Sesshoumaru looked out into the darkness, keening his youkai senses with characteristic ease.
Blood…
That alone was not surprising, he was not far from the battlefield. It was the owner of the blood that compelled him towards the source, leaving Jaken behind to shout after him.
It seems that the reports from my scouts were not correct.
He made his way through the woods, descending on the gory battlefield, immersed in the body parts and blood of various youkai from both Daisetsu and Azumamaro's armies. He walked a few steps and came to the older lord's mutilated form. One eyebrow rose as he appraised the situation.
Impressive work…
He scanned the rest of the ground.
I see he lost his arm doing it.
He stared at Daisetsu's broken body for a few moments, contemplating the older youkai's death. He would not be missed. It was the power structure that had been disrupted.
Now who will rise to take this one's place?
Sesshoumaru did not have to turn his head to see Azumamaro's body. He already knew the other youkai's fate.
"Are you dead yet?" He asked. Sarcasm tainted his voice.
Azumamaro's eyes twitched and the warlord rolled his head to the side to stare blandly at the taiyoukai's feet. He cursed the fact that he didn't have the strength to look up at his face.
"You came here for her."
Sesshoumaru scowled at the assumption.
As if I would go out of my way for that woman…
"Do not assume she is so important to—"
"This Sesshoumaru?" Azumamaro mocked.
The lord looked down at him, too dignified to lower himself to harming a dying man.
"I came to see the outcome of this battle. I had heard you killed Daisetsu." Sesshoumaru's face was emotionless as he stepped over Azumamaro's body. "Even so, I am not surprised to find you here in the throes of death."
Behind him he heard Azumamaro make a disgusting noise. He was possibly coughing up blood or some other matter, but when Sesshoumaru turned back to regard him, he noticed that whatever he had done, he had managed to push himself up into a sitting position.
As near to death as he is…
"You-" he coughed, sending a string of spittle and blood down his chin and neck. "What will you do with Kagura?"
"She is alive?" Sesshoumaru appeared to be unmoving, but Azumamaro was not fooled.
This bastard, looking and speaking to me as if I were some common…
"Your words betray you, Sesshoumaru," he was certain that Azumamaro would have laughed if he wasn't so near to death. Instead he fell backwards, feeding off of the last of his strength. "You are only pretending…not to know her fate." He grinned slightly. "I am sure that the great Sesshoumaru knew before he stepped onto this battlefield that the woman was still alive. You came to find me because you smelled her nearby; now, having found my body, you know for sure your woman is alive and you are going to go and claim her."
His dignity attacked, Sesshoumaru was torn between slicing Azumamaro's miserable body from his head and walking away.
I will do neither.
He frowned at the thought.
To take his life would be an indignity, to walk away would give credence to his words.
"A dying man's jealousy." Sesshoumaru stared down at him, vaguely aware of Jaken's approaching scent and patter of feet.
Azumamaro coughed, aware of the indignity of that statement. He was hanging onto strands of his life, struggling to combat the one who had truly defeated him.
"She told me what you said—" he gasped, fighting for breath as life was torn from him.
Sesshoumaru inclined his head in acknowledgement, smug in his assertion.
"You will die." He watched the other man.
"Protect her," Azumamaro urged. His dark eyes danced wildly, unable to focus on the one who towered over him.
Sesshoumaru scoffed.
"I will not. She is capable of protecting herself." His temper rose slightly, irritated at having to listen to the dying youkai's dribble. "She is not the weak woman that you believe she is. She is not a servant, and she is not an asset to obtaining one's will. The wind user has survived this, and she has rightly left you here to die."
For a few minutes Azumamaro was silent. His withering, shaky breathing was the only noise between them, and Sesshoumaru accepted this, hopeful that this meant the end of the irritating fool who dared to speak to him as one would to any commoner. His hope was short-lived.
"She did not leave me," he muttered indignantly. His words were barely discernable against his dying breaths. "I let her go. I let her believe that I was…dead."
Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed.
"You are a greater fool than I had imagined."
Azumamaro chuckled slightly. His voice was raspy and he looked up at the sky. The color in his eyes was fading along with the life in his body.
"I wanted to wait for you…I wanted to make sure…that she would be…safe."
Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and listened as the last breath escaped Azumamaro's body. His chest deflated and his head lolled to the side, spilling blood onto the already soaked grass.
Jaken ran to his side, panting and waving the Staff of Heads anxiously.
"Sesshoumaru-sama—"
"We are leaving." Sesshoumaru walked away from the scene, ignoring his retainer's anxious questions.
…wasteful are emotions, binding in their rampant destruction, overtaking even the strongest of wills…
His eyes narrowed.
Where have you gone, Kagura?
Note: Whew, well, that was a lot in a short amount of time! I floundered over what I wanted to do with Azumamaro, on the one hand I loved him because he was a Kagura worshipper, but on the other hand, he was in the way of Sesshoumaru. Then there's the fact that I love writing him…in the end it came down to what actions his character could take to make the greatest impact on the other characters. So, one life/death situation for Kagura, plus one death for Azumamaro, plus one tell Sesshoumaru what he doesn't want to hear and make it so that he can't do anything about equals a twist that I bet you didn't see coming! Hah! (Or at least I hope you didn't…)
Also, thanks for all of the reviews, they were a joy to read.:)